Cliffs:
- Wife of 10 years doesn't give me bjs. Never has.
- OP used to get bjs in high school/college from ex gf, best feeling ever.
- What do I gotta do to get one?

UPDATE 7/6/2021: Wife has given me two blowjobs in the last five days!

Original question:

All,
My wife will not give me bjs and it is super frustrating. She is a super simple woman, and doesn't do out-of-the-ordinary things during sex. I ALWAYS go down on her, she absolutely loves it when I give her oral sex. I literally go down on her every time we have sex. She never goes down on me, it just doesn't happen. In our 10 years of marriage, she has sucked my dink for about 20 seconds, just two or three times. Those couple of times that it has happened I made sure to tell her how amazing it was. Maybe I didn't tell her it was amazing enough? I'm truly at a loss. I've made it mission critical to shower and shave right before sex, to ensure it isn't a personal hygiene issue. Gotta put my best foot forward 100% of the time to rule out any of the usual suspects that result in no blowjobs. A couple of weeks ago, I positioned us into the 69 position, to see what she would do. Haven't been in the 69 position in LITERALLY YEARS. She didn't even touch my dink with her hand. Absolutely nothing. What do?

UPDATE 7/6/2021 below:

TLDR: Wife has given me two blowjobs in the last five days!

So, I have been swamped with work and living life everyone. My apologies for not coming in here and updating this thread! I have AWESOME NEWS.

After getting really good suggestions from DBoyDaRealest, skinnyfat88, and Rabbitjb, I sat down with my wife and we had a freakin' awesome conversation about oral sex. Long story short, she hasn't given me blow jobs because she has struggled with the idea of sucking something I piss out of. Lmao. I explained how much I LOVE giving her oral, and perhaps she would enjoy giving it to me just as much if we tried it regularly. Told her it felt absolutely amazing the 2-3 times she has done it for me in the past 10 years, and it is the best feeling ever. She told me that when I give oral to her, she thinks it's the best feeling ever as well.

The conversation lasted like 1.5 hours at least, lmao, and we just talked about sex. How freakin' awesome is that brahs/brahettes. I'm so pumped and happy that we talked about this topic and me and my wife have had a ton of newfound fun in the bedroom in the last five days. She has given me two blowjobs in the last five days, feels incredible brahs. MEASLY REPS TILL I'M OUT.

Grab her head and push it down until her mouth is on you cock.

You're welcome

Maybe go down on her. Tell her you wanna 69

Lmao, funny brah but I'm serious here. Should have put srs in thread title.Lol. What makes my situation harder is she is so simple, I can almost guarantee you she doesn't even know what 69 means. I am beginning to think she has never seen or heard of the 69 position, and didn't get the hint.

I know this seems funny to you brahs but I could use some help, maybe from some female miscers or married brahs who have dealt with this?

absolutely pissening

you MARRIED the girl knowing she doesn't give blowjobs

what did you possibly expect

your wife is not into oral sex

never will be

I'm srs. Chow down on her snatch. Tell her youd like you knob gobbled straight up

Stop going down on her unless she reciprocates.

Repped for what I feel is probably the truth brah. I would like to discuss the issue somehow with her though, since the lack of blowjobs is impacting me emotionally. Me and her talk about everything and have a really good relationship, I just don't know how to approach this issue with her.Lmao. It's a bold move that's for sure. Do I dare get her in 69 again and ask her to start suckin?I have thought about this solution ALOT. But she will know something is up, and likely won't put the pieces together for a while lol. Like I said, she's simple, which makes this problem even more delicate in my opinion. Somehow I feel like we gotta just talk about it, but I don't know how.

brah

just give up and take the good with the bad

she's not a sexual freak

sex is probably much lower on her list of priorities than you think.

the trade-off, is that she's probably more likely to not think about other guys sexually. Although if you falter emotionally, an emotional affair can lead to something physical.

just be glad you still get regular sex, or on the flip side of the spectrum, be glad she's not asking to swing or add other people, like a ton of older married people start doing.

but you knew what you were getting into and probably appreciated early on that she wasn't sexually adventurous. you'd probably be lying if her not having taken massive loads or dongs up her butt played a part in you marrying her. you thought you were marrying a good girl, and you did.

so take the good with the bad.

Lots of good remarks here brah, thanks a lot. She is a good girl, and I think that's most of the problem here. It's truth that I would rather have a good faithful wife than one that is a freak. We have plenty of sex and I love it, I would just like to add bjs to the experience, but if it never happens, I'll probably just have to be OK with that. Thanks again brah.

looking back at your comments though, it doesn't even seem like you've at least talked about it

the least you can do is simply ask her

she's your wife, after all.

if you don't feel like you can have this conversation (maybe fears of getting in trouble for asking?) (maybe you are just scared)

then you have bigger issues to deal with, namely your power dynamic where you feel like you can't even ask your wife to reciprocate oral sex

if she doesn't want to, then refer back to my previous comments and accept your lot in life.

You're correct, we've never talked about it. The main reason we haven't talked about it is I feel like it may bring back bad memories for her, or some other negative result, that I might not be aware of. Maybe she had a bad experience with an ex that is holding her back from giving me a bj? The problem is I don't know what I don't know. If I did, maybe we could have a meaningful conversation about the absence of bjs. If there are ANY suggestions as to how to start this type of conversation, or how others may have had this kind of talk with their partner, I would really appreciate it.

You know that mouth you’re using to suck her clit?

Try using it to talk to her

Yeah so either tell her you want a BJ or quit licking her gash. When she asks why you stopped say because you don't ever suck my dink.

“I really like blow jobs, let me teach you how”

Talk about it outside the bedroom.
Find a time where both of you are in a good mood and have plenty of time to discuss. Maybe have a few drinks to loosen each other up too.
Keep the conversation as positive as possible (ie how the thought of xyz turns you on so much and how you want to explore more things with her etc etc) and not in a way that makes you seem pissed off/resentful/unsatisfied. Do not compare her to any girl in your past during this convo and don't compare what you do to what you think other people do.

If it doesn't go well you'll need more resources to figure this out (do more reading on communicating about sex and incorporating new things while you're in an LTR) or talk to a specialist (maybe by yourself first and then together if she's willing).

Cut off your nose to spite your face why don’t cha

Never met a guy who doesn’t love that

You married a broken one.

Imagine being married to someone that you can't even ask for a bj..

Just as much OP's problem if he doesn't have the courage to have said conversation.

Lol this is why you don’t get married. So when she says no you go “ok, we’re not in a relationship anymore, goodbye” then go find someone who will do it

Agreed

Brah, it's not that I can't ask her for one, it's the approach that I need help with, and how to ask this question. I don't want to ask her for a bj without any kind of planning. It IS a delicate subject. I feel this subject could go in the same category as having kids, it's a big, personal topic that everybody has individual feelings about. When you're in a healthy marriage it's important to approach topics like this delicately. That's why I'm reaching out here for help before I talk to her. This isn't a conversation you casually walk up to your wife of 10 years and go "Why don't you give me bjs?" Lol.See my above response to shmobin. I have the courage, I need help in planning this conversation. It's foolish to just wing-it impromptu-style and expect a positive result. Lol.Blowjobs are not what our marriage hinges on, lol. I just want us to be able to expand our sexual experience if possible, and have some fun.

Start there

This was great brah, thanks a lot for the helpful information. I will without a doubt incorporate some of your suggestions when I talk to her. Lawd, bjs feel so good, and it would be a game changer in the bedroom at this point in our marriage.

Do you think she will be able to comfortably talk about this if I approach it that way? You're female, correct? I never know who's truly female or POSING as female on the misc anymore, lol.

Yes

A drink, a laugh, an affectionate time with no pressure. Don’t specifically mention blow jobs start with the I want us to have fun part, how sexy she is, how she drives you wild (women eat that chit up)

Does she read? Does she fantasise? Play into those

Do you try things in bed that are a little different to see where her passions lie? Everybody has soft boundaries. I’m not talking about a full half-nelson, but things like hold her wrists firmly and see how she reacts, start to push and see where she will go with you or where she will start to lead once confident.

You’ll be throwing her round like a rag doll and forcing her to her knees before you know it, or she will be doing it to you. Who knows?

i'm kinda mindblown you aren't comfortable enough to even bring this up to your wife after 10 years

i feel like you get what you deserve

not to try and bully you, but you are soft/scared

and then you come on the misc thinking we can give you a magic set of instructions to make it happen???

there are couples out there that literally have sex with other people separate and together, that talk about every inch of their sexual wants and needs from their partner

and you can't manage to ask your wife of TEN years that you want blowjobs????

I would just leave it alone srs I don't think you have the honest to god nuts to look your wife in the eye and tell her its something you'd appreciate and want

hope you come back in this thread with an update and prove me wrong though

You're right, I wouldn't. Because I wouldn't marry someone that wasn't swallowing my baby batter on the regular.Uh, mine is.

The fact they were never a part of your sex life and it didn't just disappear after a while is a unique situation.
More so opening her mind to new things and encouraging her to explore her sexuality more so than repairing a part of a relationship.

Cheers and let us know how it goes.

In detail?

Actually man, been really impressed with your advice. Not often a miscer knows women. Reps on recharge