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Forum » More General Categories » Relationships and Relationships Help » Do women in their 30s play games like this?!
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Thread: Do women in their 30s play games like this?!

post 1546741601 03-18-2018, 10:13 AM
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Do women in their 30s play games like this?!

Alright I'm gonna make this sort. I've been dating a doctor that's a little older than me. First week and a half I met her we had sparks, lot of chemistry. We got sexual after a few dates and she told me she thought about it.

After that she got sick, then work got in the way. There's been a few times I would just hang out at her place and we'd just chill instead of doing anything.

Last time we went out on Tuesday she seemed closed off. She mentioned allergies as well as having to wake up early to do five surgeries the next day. We kissed some but something was off.

She went on vacation out of the country Thurs for vacation. Something odd she did:


- I joked over text to check out my IG, she does and adds me
- She does when she's out the country
- About an hour or two later I add her back
- Next day she accepts
- I find out she unfollows me


LOL what kind of game is that?! I haven't heard from her since being on vacation though. I'd think that she'd message me or something but I felt it would do no good to try and discuss 'us' during her vacation time.

It could have been innocuous or deliberate. Only thing she really posts on hers is friends/family stuff. Pretty tame.

So her behavior the past week of going from Monday where we were cuddling and she was telling me how good I look to Tuesday being off and Wed/Thurs still initiating texts with me (but a little shorter) to nothing is off. I've actually been trying to just date ONE girl and not multi-date at the moment, but rather invest in one woman and see where it goes. Plus we've had sex a couple of times and usually that is an implicit soft exclusivity for many.

I've cut her some slack since she is a little older than me PLUS being a doctor is physically and emotionally draining. She performs cancer surgeries so I'm sure it takes a toll on her. Plus she has been usually responsive to texts and she has even called me on the phone several times which I'm not used to.

Think she's trying to play games or something is off? How should I proceed here fellas?
A hit was sent, from the President, to raid your residence /
Because you had secret evidence, and documents /
On how they raped the continents, and it's the prominent /
Dominant Islamic, Asiatic Black Hebrew

- GZA "4th Chamber"
post 1546742181 03-18-2018, 10:23 AM
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so shes 35-40?

woman never stop playing games

she didn't make it to 35+ and single for no reason

btw is she white?
post 1546742301 03-18-2018, 10:24 AM
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Originally Posted By stevesteve12⏩
so shes 40?
loool 36 bro
A hit was sent, from the President, to raid your residence /
Because you had secret evidence, and documents /
On how they raped the continents, and it's the prominent /
Dominant Islamic, Asiatic Black Hebrew

- GZA "4th Chamber"
post 1546742501 03-18-2018, 10:27 AM
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if she unfollowed u must have seen some red flags?
post 1546742611 03-18-2018, 10:29 AM
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Get a 25yr old and drop the grandma. Highly stressful career plus old age equals no libido. Or you're just the pool boy and she's preferring time spent with the paper boy at the moment.
-SF Gigantes y SF 49ers-
post 1546742981 03-18-2018, 10:35 AM
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Originally Posted By koreangenetics⏩
if she unfollowed u must have seen some red flags?
Hmmm not that I know of. Less than 20 posts of me doing MMA, some fashion stuff, and shooting but she knows I shoot (target, skeet/trap). She's even been to the range with me.

Seems like most of her stuff is family & friends related. Like you know...weddings, happy birthdays, scenery, etc.
Originally Posted By homersexual⏩
Get a 25yr old and drop the grandma. Highly stressful career plus old age equals no libido. Or you're just the pool boy and she's preferring time spent with the paper boy at the moment.
I'm leaning towards low libido in regards to high stress. Working 10 - 12 hours plus I would think that wouldn't be too for her career. Plus she gets up crazy early and I'm a night owl.

We've had sex a couple of times. She invites me over to hang out or do something then we did the deed, but yeah recently high stress has killed things it seems from conversation to interaction.
A hit was sent, from the President, to raid your residence /
Because you had secret evidence, and documents /
On how they raped the continents, and it's the prominent /
Dominant Islamic, Asiatic Black Hebrew

- GZA "4th Chamber"
post 1546743171 03-18-2018, 10:38 AM
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Originally Posted By stevesteve12⏩
woman never stop playing games
This ^^^
, but I thought it was common knowledge OP?
Back with my Fam
post 1546743381 03-18-2018, 10:41 AM
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Originally Posted By MajorTendonitis⏩
This ^^^
, but I thought it was common knowledge OP?
Ha yep
Originally Posted By stevesteve12⏩
so shes 35-40?

woman never stop playing games

she didn't make it to 35+ and single for no reason

btw is she white?
36, also yep they don't. Yep white but has said she has found dark/olive skin sexiest.

She mentioned some failed relationships that lasted 3 years. One being somewhat long distance while she was in residency.

My buddy in the crypto threads said I should just settle down with an asian girl lol.
A hit was sent, from the President, to raid your residence /
Because you had secret evidence, and documents /
On how they raped the continents, and it's the prominent /
Dominant Islamic, Asiatic Black Hebrew

- GZA "4th Chamber"
post 1546743701 03-18-2018, 10:45 AM
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She is busy and probably just interested in something casual, you know, when she feels like, nothing serious, so if you want to be with her you should probably play after her rules, which I don't think is healthy, tell her that, she is a doctor she should understand! ;-)
post 1546743761 03-18-2018, 10:46 AM
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I wouldn't be too upset, it's only instagram. As far as the other stuff goes I'd chalk it up to a highly stressful and emotionally draining career, I can't see her behavior changing a whole lot she's going to have good and bad days.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
post 1546744031 03-18-2018, 10:49 AM
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Originally Posted By Zaza18⏩
She is busy and probably just interested in something casual, you know, when she feels like, nothing serious, so if you want to be with her you should probably play after her rules, which I don't think is healthy, tell her that, she is a doctor she should understand! ;-)
Her Bumble profile said she wanted a serious relationship lol. I'll talk to her though.
Originally Posted By FU3L⏩
I wouldn't be too upset, it's only instagram. As far as the other stuff goes I'd chalk it up to a highly stressful and emotionally draining career, I can't see her behavior changing a whole lot she's going to have good and bad days.
Yeah I think it's just that. Like I said I've had it before where she would call me and tell me about the stress she had or I'd just chill with her and do nothing.

Funny one time I drove over to her place after teasing over text and I was ready to have sex and she stopped me and wanted to ask how my day was lol.

I'm just trying to be understanding about it all. Hopefully she just comes back stress free.
A hit was sent, from the President, to raid your residence /
Because you had secret evidence, and documents /
On how they raped the continents, and it's the prominent /
Dominant Islamic, Asiatic Black Hebrew

- GZA "4th Chamber"
post 1546744371 03-18-2018, 10:55 AM
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Originally Posted By sword_⏩
Yeah I think it's just that. Like I said I've had it before where she would call me and tell me about the stress she had or I'd just chill with her and do nothing.

Funny one time I drove over to her place after teasing over text and I was ready to have sex and she stopped me and wanted to ask how my day was lol.

I'm just trying to be understanding about it all. Hopefully she just comes back stress free.
For a while perhaps, but I don't think a doctor is ever going to be stress free for any long period of time.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
post 1546744781 03-18-2018, 11:00 AM
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they never stop.


never.
post 1546745471 03-18-2018, 11:09 AM
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I dunno man, she may have some rule with herself about keeping romantic relationships off her social media. It can come with added drama, so she is likely just taking precautions. You really never know. As far as all the other stuff it's been replied to already. I'd just go with the flow, but take into consideration the fact that these ups and downs might just come with the territory of being with a doctor and you have to figure out if that's the kind of relationship you're good with. Again, just ride it all out.
post 1546745741 03-18-2018, 11:15 AM
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Originally Posted By DolphinPilot⏩
I dunno man, she may have some rule with herself about keeping romantic relationships off her social media. It can come with added drama, so she is likely just taking precautions. You really never know. As far as all the other stuff it's been replied to already. I'd just go with the flow, but take into consideration the fact that these ups and downs might just come with the territory of being with a doctor and you have to figure out if that's the kind of relationship you're good with. Again, just ride it all out.
I know I don't really add romantic interests too soon with dating TBH.

But yeah what I've seen with her is high stress with moments of letting herself go a bit. I dated a nurse briefly and she had a similar personality. Introverted and at times seemingly emotionally distant (but present) but still didn't know how to let go at times. I've seen the other side of her so I'm trying to ride it out but it's frustrating because we've had sex and I can be very emotional.
A hit was sent, from the President, to raid your residence /
Because you had secret evidence, and documents /
On how they raped the continents, and it's the prominent /
Dominant Islamic, Asiatic Black Hebrew

- GZA "4th Chamber"
post 1546747611 03-18-2018, 11:50 AM
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Originally Posted By sword_⏩
Alright I'm gonna make this sort. I've been dating a doctor that's a little older than me. First week and a half I met her we had sparks, lot of chemistry. We got sexual after a few dates and she told me she thought about it.

After that she got sick, then work got in the way. There's been a few times I would just hang out at her place and we'd just chill instead of doing anything.

Last time we went out on Tuesday she seemed closed off. She mentioned allergies as well as having to wake up early to do five surgeries the next day. We kissed some but something was off.

She went on vacation out of the country Thurs for vacation. Something odd she did:


- I joked over text to check out my IG, she does and adds me
- She does when she's out the country
- About an hour or two later I add her back
- Next day she accepts
- I find out she unfollows me


LOL what kind of game is that?! I haven't heard from her since being on vacation though. I'd think that she'd message me or something but I felt it would do no good to try and discuss 'us' during her vacation time.

It could have been innocuous or deliberate. Only thing she really posts on hers is friends/family stuff. Pretty tame.

So her behavior the past week of going from Monday where we were cuddling and she was telling me how good I look to Tuesday being off and Wed/Thurs still initiating texts with me (but a little shorter) to nothing is off. I've actually been trying to just date ONE girl and not multi-date at the moment, but rather invest in one woman and see where it goes. Plus we've had sex a couple of times and usually that is an implicit soft exclusivity for many.

I've cut her some slack since she is a little older than me PLUS being a doctor is physically and emotionally draining. She performs cancer surgeries so I'm sure it takes a toll on her. Plus she has been usually responsive to texts and she has even called me on the phone several times which I'm not used to.

Think she's trying to play games or something is off? How should I proceed here fellas?
You're a plaything to her man.
Most girls late 20's early 30's tops are seriously husband hunting. And it sounds like you're a snack between serious contenders.
Your job is to look pretty, be energetic when she decides, otherwise stay the **** outta the way.

Stick to girls 26/27 max.
No husband hunting, plenty of time on the having a baby clock and no crippling mental battle scars from a past divorce.

Keep it light and fluffy.
look them in the eye, tell them you find them intriguing, and they just stand out from the other girls around
then dont text or call them for 3 days
money in the bank.
post 1546747691 03-18-2018, 11:52 AM
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Originally Posted By Rathomir⏩
You're a plaything to her man.
Most girls late 20's early 30's tops are seriously husband hunting. And it sounds like you're a snack between serious contenders.
Your job is to look pretty, be energetic when she decides, otherwise stay the **** outta the way.

Stick to girls 26/27 max.
No husband hunting, plenty of time on the having a baby clock and won't wave battle scars from a past divorce.
Keep it light and fluffy.
Thanks man.
A hit was sent, from the President, to raid your residence /
Because you had secret evidence, and documents /
On how they raped the continents, and it's the prominent /
Dominant Islamic, Asiatic Black Hebrew

- GZA "4th Chamber"
post 1546747911 03-18-2018, 11:57 AM
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Why don’t you just ask her?

Neither of you should be playing games

You know what you want and she damn well should be old enough to know what she wants

So quit with the mind games and just ask her
post 1546747921 03-18-2018, 11:57 AM
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Originally Posted By sword_⏩
Her Bumble profile said she wanted a serious relationship lol. I'll talk to her though.



Yeah I think it's just that. Like I said I've had it before where she would call me and tell me about the stress she had or I'd just chill with her and do nothing.

Funny one time I drove over to her place after teasing over text and I was ready to have sex and she stopped me and wanted to ask how my day was lol.

I'm just trying to be understanding about it all. Hopefully she just comes back stress free.
36 year old doctor on bumble. Even if she doing online, if she really was looking for a husband she would be on a more serious site than that. She is just looking for dick but doesnt want to seem like a whore thats why she puts the "looking for serious" blurb. Let me guess she put she dont do hookups and other chit on there. She isnt behaving like a 36 year old doctor, she is behaving like a 19 year old sloot. Actions speak louder than words. She is just looking for some dick before she decides to find a beta male provider.
post 1546748731 03-18-2018, 12:09 PM
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Originally Posted By Rabbitjb⏩
Why don’t you just ask her?

Neither of you should be playing games

You know what you want and she damn well should be old enough to know what she wants

So quit with the mind games and just ask her
I'll try and meet her in person some time next week. Really I'm the king of overthinking but it does no good.
A hit was sent, from the President, to raid your residence /
Because you had secret evidence, and documents /
On how they raped the continents, and it's the prominent /
Dominant Islamic, Asiatic Black Hebrew

- GZA "4th Chamber"
post 1546749001 03-18-2018, 12:12 PM
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Originally Posted By elterrible987⏩
36 year old doctor on bumble. Even if she doing online, if she really was looking for a husband she would be on a more serious site than that. She is just looking for dick but doesnt want to seem like a whore thats why she puts the "looking for serious" blurb. Let me guess she put she dont do hookups and other chit on there. She isnt behaving like a 36 year old doctor, she is behaving like a 19 year old sloot. Actions speak louder than words. She is just looking for some dick before she decides to find a beta male provider.
I live in a very transient city so it's not uncommon for people to online date. She's been here for less than a year and wants to date. Not uncommon.

But yeah lol no hook-ups but her waiting three dates make me believe that. I've had sex with girls first night I met so three dates (and resisting second) is uncommon with traditional online dating lol.

I have gotten more hook-ups on Bumble than any other app tho lol
A hit was sent, from the President, to raid your residence /
Because you had secret evidence, and documents /
On how they raped the continents, and it's the prominent /
Dominant Islamic, Asiatic Black Hebrew

- GZA "4th Chamber"
post 1546749051 03-18-2018, 12:13 PM
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Originally Posted By sword_⏩
I'll try and meet her in person some time next week. Really I'm the king of overthinking but it does no good.
hmm yeah not your fault man she is behaving erratically. I dated a 30 year old chick who acted all moody like this before. She eventually NC'd my a$$. Honestly it shows behavioral problems on her end, but it does look to me that this is a sign she's getting sick of you and wants a new flavor of chad ice cream
We're all gonna make it crew

just decide on what you ACTUALLY want and then make it happen. thats it. ignore the rest and put in the work and one day you'll find your happy - vampirelol

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post 1546751101 03-18-2018, 12:46 PM
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It's likely that she just wants to keep her Instagram more on the private side and added you to look at the photos. That would be the least of my worries.

If you sensed a change of feelings through behavior, there was most likely a change of feelings. This sounds like something that has played out with me countless times. Meet a girl, hit it off, everything seems to be going well, suddenly they seem to take a step back, still there but less available, then it slowly fades out.

This is extremely common with people you online. You're kidding yourself if you think you're the only guy she's talking to. Every guy needs to remember the next better catch is just a few swipes away. They get addicted to the attention and even when they meet a guy they like, they can't help themselves but sit on there and swipe. It leads to a very short attention span as other guys catch their eye. If she's still on vacation, I wouldn't pursue her further at the moment. Don't fall under the "Illusion of Action" where you think you have to "do" something. If she takes a step back, you take two steps back and let her come to you. If you keep texting you will get ghosted. Mark it down.

I know how you feel too, I'm basically in the same boat. Had three amazing dates off bumble recently after spending lots of time getting to know her. She's super traditional. Deleted the app after a few days because she didn't like online dating. Man I really liked her and let myself get way too attached to the idea of her. After the third date (which went excellent) she kinda stopped reaching out, but would still be responsive to my texts like normal, said she's just really busy with work the next two weeks but hasn't actually turned me down, chit's got me reeling and it's so much harder than "just next that bish and go NC".
post 1546751331 03-18-2018, 12:50 PM
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Sounds like she’s busy and wanted the zik. Nothing wrong with that. Doctors are in their own world.
post 1546751561 03-18-2018, 12:54 PM
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post 1546751721 03-18-2018, 12:57 PM
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Originally Posted By sword_⏩
I'll try and meet her in person some time next week. Really I'm the king of overthinking but it does no good.
Sword you’re a catch
You want a good relationship
If this doctor is unavailable cos of work and you’re ok with that then that’s one thing but if you think she’s playing you confront her and move on if you don’t get the right answers
post 1546751741 03-18-2018, 12:57 PM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
Sorry op that sucks

Unless you're ok with something casual I would move on because she is not showing clear interest. If she wanted a relationship with you she would be spending as much time as possible with you no matter how busy her schedule is.

Also if she is looking for something serious then race may be an issue for her, especially if she wants marriage and kids.
Nah never got the race issue with her. She's always told me she's liked olive skinned or dark men. She even asked me if I had any racial hang ups.
Originally Posted By Rabbitjb⏩
Sword you’re a catch
You want a good relationship
If this doctor is unavailable cos of work and you’re ok with that then that’s one thing but if you think she’s playing you confront her and move on if you don’t get the right answers
Seems more work related but behavior later in the week has been making me question things.

Dated a girl from the gym before that was a nurse and she was painfully shy at times, analytical and I felt at times emotionally distant.
Originally Posted By flat6pilot⏩
It's likely that she just wants to keep her Instagram more on the private side and added you to look at the photos. That would be the least of my worries.

If you sensed a change of feelings through behavior, there was most likely a change of feelings. This sounds like something that has played out with me countless times. Meet a girl, hit it off, everything seems to be going well, suddenly they seem to take a step back, still there but less available, then it slowly fades out.

This is extremely common with people you online. You're kidding yourself if you think you're the only guy she's talking to. Every guy needs to remember the next better catch is just a few swipes away. They get addicted to the attention and even when they meet a guy they like, they can't help themselves but sit on there and swipe. It leads to a very short attention span as other guys catch their eye. If she's still on vacation, I wouldn't pursue her further at the moment. Don't fall under the "Illusion of Action" where you think you have to "do" something. If she takes a step back, you take two steps back and let her come to you. If you keep texting you will get ghosted. Mark it down.

I know how you feel too, I'm basically in the same boat. Had three amazing dates off bumble recently after spending lots of time getting to know her. She's super traditional. Deleted the app after a few days because she didn't like online dating. Man I really liked her and let myself get way too attached to the idea of her. After the third date (which went excellent) she kinda stopped reaching out, but would still be responsive to my texts like normal, said she's just really busy with work the next two weeks but hasn't actually turned me down, chit's got me reeling and it's so much harder than "just next that bish and go NC".
Yeah she mentioned sex being an emotional connection and stuff. She mentioned also relationship boundaries about her sleep schedule so I was thinking hmm she may be thinking that.

I've had it many times where women's interest wane but usually if I have sex with them they stick around unless something is totally off. Like I met a girl with body and emotional issues she's working through and told me she felt something was off with us. She still hits me up and we talked in person about it.
Originally Posted By MyAvatar⏩
Sounds like she’s busy and wanted the zik. Nothing wrong with that. Doctors are in their own world.
Yep true. Just weird she's sharing me family photos, calling me, inviting me over to her place, cuddling and stuff...why if you just want casual sex.
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post 1546753891 03-18-2018, 01:28 PM
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#28
  1. bluegold04
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Most people can't be honest with themselves, let alone honestly communicate with others.

Add to that a ridiculously gynocentric culture that has indoctrinated current women since toddlerhood with the notion that they are 'owed' and this sort of ridiculous behavior from an 'adult' is what results. It's shameful.

And let me say man, you really seem like a good dude. My attitude has changed as I've aged a bit. I used to make excuses and give multiple chances and what have you for these sorts of behaviors from women. But, man, if she and I have smashed twice and after that the woman can't be a reasonably honest adult to me when the time comes...that is who they are.
post 1546808171 03-19-2018, 07:05 AM
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#29
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She could be pulling back in the bedroom because she wants to ensure you ain't just after that (like she is prob used to given she has been on dating sites). She could also be using it as a tool to get you whipped. Whenever she does this, you just pull right back and don't even touch her but its very very important to play it cool and not be mad about it. If and usually when she asks whats wrong, just say "I respect your decision" and you can even make her feel dumb/lighten the mood by saying something like "awwwww.....your not ready yet. Good, because I'm going to make you wait so don't get any ideas OKAAAAY". She may then jump you shortly thereafter because they want/miss the attention lol. If this continues though after a while, then you just ain't compatible. At some point, you want to let her know that frequency is important to you. A good time is shortly after the act.

In terms of IG unfollow, that is odd. I would jokingly exaggerate how your feelings are hurt over it, NOPE not her friend anymore, etc lol. She may then disclose why she did it without you asking.
post 1546808421 03-19-2018, 07:12 AM
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#30
  1. Tuga88
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She was hooking up with someone else on vacation. Deleted you from IG because she wanted to post stuff but didn't want you to see.
There is but one path....we kill them all.
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