Real mature, bro...

Why would you sabotage yourself like that when you had a good thing going brah?

Strong sabotage, but probably for the best. You clearly have esteem issues. I'd suggest you set some life goals for yourself and achieve them to derive some fulfillment and value.

Have you ever seen a therapist regarding your issues with commitment, trust and self esteem?

He needs to, I tell him all the time. However he doesn't see any value in it from the conversations we have had.

I told him two weeks ago he was sabotaging himself when he explained his thoughts and he needs to stay in control. A lesson learned. Hopefully he can face them and fight them since he's a good dude.

Just a quick update on me: Last night I heard from a girl I've known for years who I always suspected has wanted me. She told me as much last summer when we would hang out here and there however she just... isn't it for me. She's beautiful, tall, fit, educated, looks great. It's just something about her personality I don't like. Anyway, she hit me up last night with an inside joke between us. I didn't really give her too much.

K also hit me up last night. I kept it brief and ignored a text she had sent me an hour or so later after I ended our conversation.

I saw Girl 7 (B) at the gym today. She looked at me and smiled. I didn't really pay her any mind. I left shortly after seeing her. I'm expecting a text or contact from her later tonight which I will either respond with "who is this" or just no response, haven't decided yet.

It's funny how when you slowly stop caring completely then this sort of thing happens. Also laid my aunt to rest today. She was very old so we knew it was going to happen. The story surrounding her and her death sort of is pulling that part of my family apart from me because they handled it in an extremely sloppy way. Basically they had her in hospice since fuucking May for physical therapy (she fell and broke her shoulder.) Her daughter, who is my aunt, decided to not get her the therapy she needed and instead just kept her in hospice to rot until death. My aunt was fully aware, had all her "marbles" so to speak, and was aware of what her daughter was doing to her. She finally died and now my aunt can leave the area we are in and get her inheritance, two things she has wanted for quite a while.

It makes me sick and none of the other men in my family were man enough to tell her off about it. So I did. She ought to pay for what she did. My grandma is of course very close to my aunt and her death and the situation surrounding it really made my grandma sad. I am really hoping that they pay for what they did somehow, someway. She ought to pay for it.

J, I hoe you are alright bud.

Like Vick said I thought it would be worthless before because I thought I just needed to get laid and everything would be fine.

Clearly not the case, I'm not sure I can afford a therapist but I definitely see how it could help me now. It might also be better to just stay out of the whole thing for awhile, I really think I might just not be fit for that kind of situation.

It feels really bad btw, this girl was great and I'm really lucky and appreciate for the past few months

I know, its so stupid. Even last night as I was doing and saying stupid things I couldnt help it. I just dont have the self-esteem to feel comfortable in a relationship

What don't you like about this girls personality? Are you still planning on ghosting all these chicks and just focusing on yourself?

Sorry to hear about your aunt, that's terrible the way your other aunt had her spend her final months especially with her mom knowing exactly what was happening - very surprising nobody called her out on that. Sounds like a scummy human being, I'm glad you told her off.

We go out, awesome. Things are good. We keep going out, doing fun stuff, making memories... then what? Where can this realistically go? You move in with me? Yeah, no. You want to get a dog or wanna talk about marriage after two years? Nope, sorry. If I don't want any of these things, then it makes no sense for me to not just spend time with my friends and do the other things I like, such as travel, coach, work, and lift. I never thought about it that way before but it truly makes no sense for me to really date. It's just sort of what I feel like I should be doing, which is wrong. I like it, but I can go without it, even when I'm not getting what I want out of it.

She is way, way too coy for me. Very quiet, doesn't say what she wants, and just very shy. I don't like shy girls. Very prude as well, even kissing her was a struggle. She's always been that way though, I've known her since she was like 16 or so.

Just got another text from K. I am not necessarily planning on ghosting exactly, since I am responding to them at the end of the day, however I am not giving them an opportunity to see me or have myself be available to them unless they make interest known. I'm not expecting that from any of them to be honest. I am just gunna do me for awhile. I wanna fix my diet and center more on veggies and a vegan sort of lifestyle. I want to get back to doing cardio since football starts in a few months. I want to improve my lifts a bit more and drop some body fat. Basically all I wanna do right now has nothing at all to do with women and lately I haven't even seen the point in trying anymore since I don't want a wife and kids and realistically can't see it going anywhere positive, when you think about it.

Here is how I am starting to see things:

We go out, awesome. Things are good. We keep going out, doing fun stuff, making memories... then what? Where can this realistically go? You move in with me? Yeah, no. You want to get a dog or wanna talk about marriage after two years? Nope, sorry. If I don't want any of these things, then it makes no sense for me to not just spend time with my friends and do the other things I like, such as travel, coach, work, and lift. I never thought about it that way before but it truly makes no sense for me to really date. It's just sort of what I feel like I should be doing, which is wrong. I like it, but I can go without it, even when I'm not getting what I want out of it.

I'm just going to fight the urge off. I am pretty good at that sort of thing. I haven't fapped since October of 2011.

Ye but the huge advantage of fapping is not dealing with female bs in between.

I haven't fapped since October of 2011.

Mirin self control skillz bruh. You ever get wet dreams? Or do you abstain in your dreams too?

Mirin self control skillz bruh. You ever get wet dreams? Or do you abstain in your dreams too?

I did 180 days nofap and no orgasm. Didn't even get one wet dream.

I did 180 days nofap and no orgasm. Didn't even get one wet dream.

Better get on that lucid dream time bro. Raw dogging dream sloots for days with absolutely zero consequences.

Broke up with her, we were supposed to hangout out today, she said she didnt want to, I told her I was done. Deleted and blocked number.

Was a fun ride that I am thankful for, but I could not do this

Better get on that lucid dream time bro. Raw dogging dream sloots for days with absolutely zero consequences.

i have similar thoughts. whats the point in the end?

She is way, way too coy for me. Very quiet, doesn't say what she wants, and just very shy. I don't like shy girls. Very prude as well, even kissing her was a struggle. She's always been that way though, I've known her since she was like 16 or so.

Just got another text from K. I am not necessarily planning on ghosting exactly, since I am responding to them at the end of the day, however I am not giving them an opportunity to see me or have myself be available to them unless they make interest known. I'm not expecting that from any of them to be honest. I am just gunna do me for awhile. I wanna fix my diet and center more on veggies and a vegan sort of lifestyle. I want to get back to doing cardio since football starts in a few months. I want to improve my lifts a bit more and drop some body fat. Basically all I wanna do right now has nothing at all to do with women and lately I haven't even seen the point in trying anymore since I don't want a wife and kids and realistically can't see it going anywhere positive, when you think about it.

Here is how I am starting to see things:

We go out, awesome. Things are good. We keep going out, doing fun stuff, making memories... then what? Where can this realistically go? You move in with me? Yeah, no. You want to get a dog or wanna talk about marriage after two years? Nope, sorry. If I don't want any of these things, then it makes no sense for me to not just spend time with my friends and do the other things I like, such as travel, coach, work, and lift. I never thought about it that way before but it truly makes no sense for me to really date. It's just sort of what I feel like I should be doing, which is wrong. I like it, but I can go without it, even when I'm not getting what I want out of it.

i have similar thoughts. whats the point in the end?

I went to Super Bowl Live with my next door neighbor and we were talking to some girls in front of us in line, and I got one of the girls' number srs. Probably not gonna call her

That's like saying I know my job will end someday, so I might as well call my boss a douchebag. Very few jobs last the rest of your life as do relationships, so why end them prematurely?



If you got her number, why not call or text? I am confused.

Lol I'm not gonna call/text her the same night that I met her.

So since you do not want a wife/kids, what exactly are you looking for? Or are you even looking for long term female companionship? It's going to be difficult to find someone who wants to commit to you but doesn't want to live together, get married or have kids. If you're not interested in hookups, what will you be doing as far as sexual cravings/release goes? I'm not hating on your choices I'm just curious.

So since you do not want a wife/kids, what exactly are you looking for? Or are you even looking for long term female companionship? It's going to be difficult to find someone who wants to commit to you but doesn't want to live together, get married or have kids. If you're not interested in hookups, what will you be doing as far as sexual cravings/release goes? I'm not hating on your choices I'm just curious.

This is the question I've had about Vick and also with Ranger. What is the end game?

I guess... the best thing I can say is that I'm looking for someone who makes me want to reconsider. Or at least makes me think.

As far as sexual release goes, I just let it occur naturally. I don't fap, I don't bang randoms, I just sorta.... exist and let it happen as it should. It makes me very calm. The longer I go without it, the less I crave it.

I think what is happening is that I am just getting further and further from the point of even wanting to be with members of the opposite sex despite knowing exactly how they work and turning myself into the kind of valuable man that I know many of them like (that I also like as well.) I am just developing this attitude (and I'm sorry to say) that I am far better than many of the people that I meet and that realization is starting to dictate my actions. If that makes sense.

I actually went out tonight to meet a group of friends. Once they left at one, this other kid from a different social group who I didn't know asked me to come to the next bar with them. I didn't know them but I guess he thought I was funny (he overheard me talking) and he was with like six different girls. Anyway, we went out and I started a game of darts with two of the better looking girls there. I was vibing really well with one of them but I eventually just left without taking it further with either of them. Know I could have got the number from either one or even both, however just have no motivation at this point. All I can think about is "where will this go?" and all I can think about right now is how these two girls will be just as flaky and lame as the last ~10 I have met so it's very hard to care right now.

Regardless, still had an awesome time and had lots of laughs. My game is still air tight, which is nice, and my humor hits hard. Those are the positive takeaways from the night. The negative is that I just have this extreme cynicism about even trying at this point when getting opportunities I know I can easily cash in on and that isn't something I can feel leaving me anytime soon.

I hope that was coherent, I've had a bit to drink and I rarely go out.