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Forum » More General Categories » Relationships and Relationships Help » Pondus_levo's dating log and general relationship advice/chat
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Thread: Pondus_levo's dating log and general relationship advice/chat

post 1515467201 08-12-2017, 09:32 PM
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Originally Posted By DanielleGreen⏩
I'm a little strange, but I prefer a guy that doesn't have a lot of options. I rather go for the dork than the football star, does that make sense? Men value beauty in women and I don't have that, so what's the point of me chasing the star athlete? I make up my low value in face for other things (working out, having a well paying job, etc). The men I have chased are still single according ******** years later, some have gained more weight, some still lives with their parents, etc. At this point WTF I do?
I would have to see your pics to really gauge an opinion. What do you rate yourself /10?
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post 1515467461 08-12-2017, 09:35 PM
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Originally Posted By pondus_levo⏩
So, one thing I have noticed about myself is that if I see even the slightest hint that a woman is not interested, I basically just put the ball in her court and shut down on her and won't try to contact her again. A few times she will have contact me a few weeks later and been like, "where did you go? You just disappeared." And I'll just be a bit dumbfounded because I would have literally said, "hit me up when you want to do something." before going NC and they don't.

I'm starting to wonder if I am giving up too early, but I refuse to initiate when I sense a lack of interest. I know that I could, and probably get a few more dates out of it, and maybe my instincts were wrong, but I don't feel it's worth it, since there's always another option out there.

Thoughts?
Most girls just shift the blame onto a guy. It's called "impression management" I'm learning. I'll get a deflected statement. Women are all about society's acceptance, and it's rare to find one that doesn't let her friends or society dictate her actions.
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post 1515469721 08-12-2017, 10:02 PM
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Originally Posted By BetaThanU⏩
I would have to see your pics to really gauge an opinion. What do you rate yourself /10?
Not about sharing pics randomly sorry. A 5 on a good day.
post 1515471631 08-12-2017, 10:25 PM
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Originally Posted By DanielleGreen⏩
Not about sharing pics randomly sorry. A 5 on a good day.
With the type of guys you're after you should still be able to get a bf. You will prbbaly have to initiate tho
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post 1515489051 08-13-2017, 04:30 AM
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Originally Posted By DanielleGreen⏩
I'm a little strange, butI prefer a guy that doesn't have a lot of options. I rather go for the dork than the football star, does that make sense? Men value beauty in women and I don't have that, so what's the point of me chasing the star athlete? I make up my low value in face for other things (working out, having a well paying job, etc). The men I have chased are still single according ******** years later, some have gained more weight, some still lives with their parents, etc. At this point WTF I do?
red pill incoming. a rare honest female reveals her tactics.
post 1515508231 08-13-2017, 10:09 AM
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Originally Posted By elterrible987⏩
red pill incoming. a rare honest female reveals her tactics.
As I stated before, I know my league. If I was a hot blonde I wouldn't be on this site talking about dating issues.
post 1515524251 08-13-2017, 01:13 PM
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Originally Posted By pondus_levo⏩
How far do you get with the women you approach. Are you getting their numbers?

Use guys to build your social circle. Make friends when you go out. Get their numbers and just start making plans. There will be times I'll be out where my normal circle of friends playing pool and I'll play someone that I've never seen before and get to talking and at some point I'll just, "Say, yeah I'm usually here on x and x, give me your number and I'll give you a heads up next time if you want to play more." or they might mention the place they normally go to and I'll say something like, "Yeah I really need to check that place out," and they will ask for my number and offer to let me know when they will be their next.

Quite honestly, this is the same approach I take with women. I just talk to them like I would any other guy, but maybe with just a little more teasing and wit, and then if things seem to be going well I'll just throw out that we should hang out sometime and most of the time they give me their numbers.
Usually I fail when setting up the first date. I don't think my text game is good enough currently, so I have been trying to improve there by speaking to some people I am not too interested in pursuing. Maybe I come across too strong too quickly when trying to setup a meet or maybe I am over valuing their own interest in me. I definitely think I come across much better in person than over text so nailing the first date is playing to my strengths, I think I just need more practise getting there.

My current social circle is pretty good right now. I know quite a lot of the regulars at the club I visit most Saturday nights and am quite comfortable making friends in that setting. However most of my friends at university will have graduated so I will have to start building a new one but I am not so worried about that. I think the fresh start will only improve my social skills more and open up some new opportunities. (Home city feels pretty dead right now.)

Dating Update:
Girl I used to date last year at university messaged me last week so I have been catching up with her. She asked when I was moving back to university and hinted that I should invite her round for the weekend when I move in. (Moving into a mazzanine studio so should be swanky AF). Not too sure what to make of it as last I heard she had a bf, guess we will see.
Not been making much ground on current pursuits so I have sacked them all off. It feels like I have an uncanny ability to attract smoke shows sometimes.
I booked the whole of next week of work and I'm going to the seaside with my sister and a few of her friends tomorrow so maybe I might have some new options going forward.
post 1515549021 08-13-2017, 05:36 PM
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Originally Posted By EODMAC⏩
Most girls just shift the blame onto a guy. It's called "impression management" I'm learning. I'll get a deflected statement. Women are all about society's acceptance, and it's rare to find one that doesn't let her friends or society dictate her actions.
What's an example of a deflected statement?

Social condition is a fact of life. Nothing you can really do about it. It is human nature to want to be accepted and feel as if they are a part of something bigger than themselves.
Originally Posted By mhrreturns⏩
Usually I fail when setting up the first date. I don't think my text game is good enough currently, so I have been trying to improve there by speaking to some people I am not too interested in pursuing. Maybe I come across too strong too quickly when trying to setup a meet or maybe I am over valuing their own interest in me. I definitely think I come across much better in person than over text so nailing the first date is playing to my strengths, I think I just need more practise getting there.

My current social circle is pretty good right now. I know quite a lot of the regulars at the club I visit most Saturday nights and am quite comfortable making friends in that setting. However most of my friends at university will have graduated so I will have to start building a new one but I am not so worried about that. I think the fresh start will only improve my social skills more and open up some new opportunities. (Home city feels pretty dead right now.)

Dating Update:
Girl I used to date last year at university messaged me last week so I have been catching up with her. She asked when I was moving back to university and hinted that I should invite her round for the weekend when I move in. (Moving into a mazzanine studio so should be swanky AF). Not too sure what to make of it as last I heard she had a bf, guess we will see.
Not been making much ground on current pursuits so I have sacked them all off. It feels like I have an uncanny ability to attract smoke shows sometimes.
I booked the whole of next week of work and I'm going to the seaside with my sister and a few of her friends tomorrow so maybe I might have some new options going forward.
One of the text game tactics I use is putting off actually asking a woman out right away, but suggest all the cool things we can do together until eventually they go, "So when are we going to go do these cool things?" Sometimes I throw in a dis-qualifier like, "but we can do that yet because I don't want you to fall in love with me too quickly." It totally gets the riled up because I'll choose to say that to an idea that they appear to have the most interest in, so I'll say maybe date two or three. This also lets them know that I'm not just looking for a easy score. And if, "they play their cards right." We will eventually get to doing that. With text game, you cannot be afraid to push the boundaries. If you are just being playful and they are getting offended, they are most likely dull in person and you probably want to push them to the back burner anyway.

Sounds like you have no problems networking. That is good. With the girl, just play it by ear. Women don't msg you out of the blue for no reason. You just have to figure out if she is doing it because of interest or because she just wants validation. Let us know how it goes.

Update:

Date last night was going extremely well. She's really hot so all the guys were constantly checking her out and staring, LOL. Good conversation, being playful, lots of touching, holding hands.... up until mid date when we were walking to change venues and I tried to kiss her. She expressed that all this was too much and she needed her bubble, like she didn't even want me to put my arm on her back or touch her or anything. Things got a bit stale after that, so I suggested I just take her home. We were walking back to the car and she starts opening up to me about her ex that she left two years ago (father of her two kids) and then I remembered why I didn't pursue her stronger last year, which was I could tell she was still hung up on him back then, and she's still hung up on him now. We ended up talking for another hour and a half in my car about it and I gave her a ton of advice which I think really helped her. I'm 100% going to stop pursuing her again, but I told her If she needs to talk about any of it and get some clarity that she can always call me. I might invite her to hang out a few more times as friends because I think she really needs it.
Forever alone? Attraction and keeping the girl chasing you - http://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=131498033

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post 1515557921 08-13-2017, 07:11 PM
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Originally Posted By pondus_levo⏩
What's an example of a deflected statement?
Example-
Me:Why did you lie?
Her:Why don't you find someone else if you don't like me?

See this so much it's like a broken record.
Originally Posted By pondus_levo⏩
Social condition is a fact of life. Nothing you can really do about it. It is human nature to want to be accepted and feel as if they are a part of something bigger than themselves.
Actually there is. I can choose never to engage anymore. It's not worth the financial, emotional, or (insert whatever) burden. Risk management analysis says no. Go MGTOW.
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post 1515598001 08-14-2017, 06:49 AM
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Originally Posted By pondus_levo⏩
I'm starting to wonder if I am giving up too early, but I refuse to initiate when I sense a lack of interest. I know that I could, and probably get a few more dates out of it, and maybe my instincts were wrong, but I don't feel it's worth it, since there's always another option out there.

Thoughts?
I pull the plug early, but you do even earlier lol. I put in the effort the first few times we meet and if I haven't left a good enough impression in that time, then I will move on as she ain't interested. Some women like to know you are interested too so they wait for YOU to text as well. They see it just like we do; lack of text = lack of interest. I will only conclude this if lack of text is still persistent after meeting 3 times or so. Historically, yes, the ones that are very interested are texting steady but I have also turned mild texters to often texters as well once they got to know me so don't pull the plug too early. Anything can happen, I argued on the first date with the girl i'm seeing now because she couldn't take a joke.
Originally Posted By Legend1617⏩
Ended up getting laid again last night. It was so fuking good exploring her body kissing every part of it. I woke up to Starbucks but I got sick earlier today

I lack the experience in everything but so far I am doing pretty d*mn good. I am actually impressed with myself and that hardly ever happens. I am doing whatever scares me, facing my fears and letting go of the past. Every day is a good day, another opportunity to go for what you have always wanted to do.
I just shed a tear bruh!
Originally Posted By DanielleGreen⏩
Invited a guy I like to a festival this weekend, hopefully he wants to go. I really want to make a move, but I'm scared as Fcuk. YOLO Crew.
Originally Posted By DanielleGreen⏩
Scared of getting my feelings hurt and being embarrassed. We have mutual friends. I kinda just want to tell him, "hey I like you.." Maybe a kiss at the end of the night...
If you don't make yourself vulnerable, you will never connect with someone. Just move slowly instead to avoid getting hurt. Keeps the men working too if they like you
Originally Posted By DanielleGreen⏩
Well I don't want to give out too much information, but he didn't want to drive. The thing is I have to drive all the time when we meet up for something. I just think that he really didn't want to go nor hangout with me. A few months ago he was blowing up my phone and I was responsive. Now he's cold. IDK man... I just don't get how can a guy go from hot to cold in such a short amount of time.
He prob wasn't too impressed that you may have been hinting that he drive. Your idea, you got to drive. However, yes if he actually was a man he would drive his date to the event. Given you always go to him, he just ins't that interested and possible has other options. Invest your time in somebody who is more interested. Hot n cold can only mean he is losing interest or has other options. Smells like the latter on this one to me given he agreed to see you, then bailed when he had to drive.
Originally Posted By pondus_levo⏩
Date last night was going extremely well. She's really hot so all the guys were constantly checking her out and staring, LOL. Good conversation, being playful, lots of touching, holding hands.... up until mid date when we were walking to change venues and I tried to kiss her. She expressed that all this was too much and she needed her bubble, like she didn't even want me to put my arm on her back or touch her or anything. Things got a bit stale after that, so I suggested I just take her home. We were walking back to the car and she starts opening up to me about her ex that she left two years ago (father of her two kids) and then I remembered why I didn't pursue her stronger last year, which was I could tell she was still hung up on him back then, and she's still hung up on him now. We ended up talking for another hour and a half in my car about it and I gave her a ton of advice which I think really helped her. I'm 100% going to stop pursuing her again, but I told her If she needs to talk about any of it and get some clarity that she can always call me. I might invite her to hang out a few more times as friends because I think she really needs it.
Wtf. Maybe she is the "don't kiss on first date" type. Surely you went in for it because you were feeling it? I suspect she wants some leverage over your alpha @ss, don't give in homie. She could also be filtering out pump/dump type guys. Without putting pressure on it (and eventually letting her know you don't mind), banter her through text how she ran away from your kiss lol. Will alleviate any "kissing anxiety" if you choose to go on another date.
post 1515632011 08-14-2017, 12:18 PM
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Originally Posted By Nedo⏩
I pull the plug early, but you do even earlier lol. I put in the effort the first few times we meet and if I haven't left a good enough impression in that time, then I will move on as she ain't interested. Some women like to know you are interested too so they wait for YOU to text as well. They see it just like we do; lack of text = lack of interest. I will only conclude this if lack of text is still persistent after meeting 3 times or so. Historically, yes, the ones that are very interested are texting steady but I have also turned mild texters to often texters as well once they got to know me so don't pull the plug too early. Anything can happen, I argued on the first date with the girl i'm seeing now because she couldn't take a joke.
I'll start sending our feelers when I think she's losing interest just to be sure. But for the most part, my intuition has been pretty spot on.
Wtf. Maybe she is the "don't kiss on first date" type. Surely you went in for it because you were feeling it? I suspect she wants some leverage over your alpha @ss, don't give in homie. She could also be filtering out pump/dump type guys. Without putting pressure on it (and eventually letting her know you don't mind), banter her through text how she ran away from your kiss lol. Will alleviate any "kissing anxiety" if you choose to go on another date.
Nah, this one is legit lost and still hung up on her ex AND she doesn't sleep around. It was our fourth date overall. It sucks because we get along really well, but she's just not ready.
Forever alone? Attraction and keeping the girl chasing you - http://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=131498033

You will never know your limits, unless you push yourself past the imaginary lines you have drawn in the sand.

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post 1515676551 08-14-2017, 06:24 PM
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Originally Posted By pondus_levo⏩
So, one thing I have noticed about myself is that if I see even the slightest hint that a woman is not interested, I basically just put the ball in her court and shut down on her and won't try to contact her again. A few times she will have contact me a few weeks later and been like, "where did you go? You just disappeared." And I'll just be a bit dumbfounded because I would have literally said, "hit me up when you want to do something." before going NC and they don't.

I'm starting to wonder if I am giving up too early, but I refuse to initiate when I sense a lack of interest. I know that I could, and probably get a few more dates out of it, and maybe my instincts were wrong, but I don't feel it's worth it, since there's always another option out there.

Thoughts?
I would try a little more if I were you, as women like to be chased and hold back in fear of screwing things up. My current boyfriend thought I wasn't into him on date number two and sort of gave up, wasn't going to ask me out on a third date until days later he decided to take a chance anyway and we literally texted each other at the same time. In the meantime I had no idea that I came off as uninterested to him.
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post 1515680091 08-14-2017, 07:01 PM
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Originally Posted By Bhruninha⏩
I would try a little more if I were you, as women like to be chased and hold back in fear of screwing things up. My current boyfriend thought I wasn't into him on date number two and sort of gave up, wasn't going to ask me out on a third date until days later he decided to take a chance anyway and we literally texted each other at the same time. In the meantime I had no idea that I came off as uninterested to him.
Ok? How did you come off as uninterested? Let me guess, you gave him one worded responses during the date and he had to carry the entire conversation.
post 1516009541 08-17-2017, 11:24 AM
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Originally Posted By pondus_levo⏩
One of the text game tactics I use is putting off actually asking a woman out right away, but suggest all the cool things we can do together until eventually they go, "So when are we going to go do these cool things?" Sometimes I throw in a dis-qualifier like, "but we can do that yet because I don't want you to fall in love with me too quickly." It totally gets the riled up because I'll choose to say that to an idea that they appear to have the most interest in, so I'll say maybe date two or three. This also lets them know that I'm not just looking for a easy score. And if, "they play their cards right." We will eventually get to doing that. With text game, you cannot be afraid to push the boundaries. If you are just being playful and they are getting offended, they are most likely dull in person and you probably want to push them to the back burner anyway.

Sounds like you have no problems networking. That is good. With the girl, just play it by ear. Women don't msg you out of the blue for no reason. You just have to figure out if she is doing it because of interest or because she just wants validation. Let us know how it goes.

Update:

Date last night was going extremely well. She's really hot so all the guys were constantly checking her out and staring, LOL. Good conversation, being playful, lots of touching, holding hands.... up until mid date when we were walking to change venues and I tried to kiss her. She expressed that all this was too much and she needed her bubble, like she didn't even want me to put my arm on her back or touch her or anything. Things got a bit stale after that, so I suggested I just take her home. We were walking back to the car and she starts opening up to me about her ex that she left two years ago (father of her two kids) and then I remembered why I didn't pursue her stronger last year, which was I could tell she was still hung up on him back then, and she's still hung up on him now. We ended up talking for another hour and a half in my car about it and I gave her a ton of advice which I think really helped her. I'm 100% going to stop pursuing her again, but I told her If she needs to talk about any of it and get some clarity that she can always call me. I might invite her to hang out a few more times as friends because I think she really needs it.
That sounds like a good tip with texting, although I was always under the impression that you should try to try setup a date within X amount of texts. I had a look back at some of my old messages from when I was previously single and I agree that I have not been pushing the boundaries as much as I did do previously, so I'll be looking to work on that going forward. It won't be long until I move back to university now so I think the next 2 weeks are a good way to be testing some new game without fear of any consequences.

Girl stopped replying to messages but continues to send me snapchats of random crap like her sister's new car. Got a feeling this is another smokeshow but I'll probably follow up with the invite closer to the time when I move in. Beach was fun, only problem was the only single girls there were out of shape and smoked so no thanks Geoff. Might be going out with sister again this week but with her wider friends group who of which some are quite decent. Has anyone here ever had issues with getting with a relatives social circle because you are a relative of their friend? Sometimes I feel that they're more hesitant to reciprocate interest because they are good friends with my sister when I have pursued before.

Shame about the girl who still isn't over her ex, must be a big mess in her head if she's still down after 2 years. You think there is any chance of possibly getting with her in the future after she has sorted herself out?
post 1516018321 08-17-2017, 12:29 PM
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Originally Posted By Bhruninha⏩
I would try a little more if I were you, as women like to be chased and hold back in fear of screwing things up. My current boyfriend thought I wasn't into him on date number two and sort of gave up, wasn't going to ask me out on a third date until days later he decided to take a chance anyway and we literally texted each other at the same time. In the meantime I had no idea that I came off as uninterested to him.
I don't know about pondus, but everytime I've "tried a little more", they just ran away more. disinterested is usually dinterested.

It's hard. we want to protect our emotions. being continually rejected sucks major ass. As someone who is in a relationship with a great girl now, my previous mental state with regards to women took a tremendous beating. I cannot believe the things that happened, over and over. I finally feel somewhat "normal" again with regards to it. I finally have a girlfriend where there is mutual attraction, after not having that for years and years. these are things that the vast majority people are experience just going about their daily lives.
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post 1516021251 08-17-2017, 12:51 PM
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Originally Posted By mhrreturns⏩
That sounds like a good tip with texting, although I was always under the impression that you should try to try setup a date within X amount of texts. I had a look back at some of my old messages from when I was previously single and I agree that I have not been pushing the boundaries as much as I did do previously, so I'll be looking to work on that going forward. It won't be long until I move back to university now so I think the next 2 weeks are a good way to be testing some new game without fear of any consequences.

Girl stopped replying to messages but continues to send me snapchats of random crap like her sister's new car. Got a feeling this is another smokeshow but I'll probably follow up with the invite closer to the time when I move in. Beach was fun, only problem was the only single girls there were out of shape and smoked so no thanks Geoff. Might be going out with sister again this week but with her wider friends group who of which some are quite decent. Has anyone here ever had issues with getting with a relatives social circle because you are a relative of their friend? Sometimes I feel that they're more hesitant to reciprocate interest because they are good friends with my sister when I have pursued before.

Shame about the girl who still isn't over her ex, must be a big mess in her head if she's still down after 2 years. You think there is any chance of possibly getting with her in the future after she has sorted herself out?
Definitely don't make choices out of fear or doubt. I make it a rule to always act as though there is no doubt she would want to me to do, say, X or Y. As a man, I think it's better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.

I've never gone for any of my sister's friends, but she is older. If she was younger, I probably would have leveraged that.

As for the woman with the ex, I'm really not sure I want to pursue that. She's made some pretty poor choices that makes it hard for me to respect her and the fact that she allows her ex to still manipulate her and string her along is a pretty big turn off. I'm looking for a strong woman that would never put up with that kind of BS, but at the same time, it's kind of a turn on with how loyal she is. She's a ******** friend now and I'll keep in touch, but I think friends is the farthest I will ever go with her.

Who knows, she's a woman, so I also can't put it past her that she told me all that just to let me down easy. LOL. Can't dwel on this kind of stuff to much, it will drive ya crazy and if you find the right match, there shouldn't be any doubt.
Originally Posted By psychosylocibin⏩
I don't know about pondus, but everytime I've "tried a little more", they just ran away more. disinterested is usually dinterested.

It's hard. we want to protect our emotions. being continually rejected sucks major ass. As someone who is in a relationship with a great girl now, my previous mental state with regards to women took a tremendous beating. I cannot believe the things that happened, over and over. I finally feel somewhat "normal" again with regards to it. I finally have a girlfriend where there is mutual attraction, after not having that for years and years. these are things that the vast majority people are experience just going about their daily lives.
Right. trying a little more will only work if she is actually still interested. I've had a string of quite a few dates now that have really gone no where. At least not where I want it to be, and it is discouraging, which is what promoted the question. I've followed up with a couple of them and realized that my intuition is correct and I need to stay the course.

Just to be clear. I left my wife more than two years ago now and I've been single this entire time. Ton's of failed attempts, most of it has been me, but I've been rejected numerous times as well. It is a normal part of the processes. If you can consistently get into relationship after relationship, then you have no idea what you really want in a partner. In no way shape or form is it possible for every person you go on a date with be a possible LTR. My psychologist had stated at one point that he thinks finding 1 in 100 possible women is reasonable. It's hard to stay the coarse, because yeah, I am lonely and would like to find someone, but I will never settle and sacrifice my happiness ever again. I'm too aware now.
Forever alone? Attraction and keeping the girl chasing you - http://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=131498033

You will never know your limits, unless you push yourself past the imaginary lines you have drawn in the sand.

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post 1516067171 08-17-2017, 07:29 PM
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Enjoyed reading this log up until this point.

Long story short about myself is I'm now separated from my wife and fear even getting back into the dating world. Reading around the misc it seems like just a cesspool unfortunately lol.
My training log: https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=178464441
post 1516069161 08-17-2017, 07:47 PM
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Originally Posted By Anthony21⏩
Enjoyed reading this log up until this point.

Long story short about myself is I'm now separated from my wife and fear even getting back into the dating world. Reading around the misc it seems like just a cesspool unfortunately lol.
I strongly feel that if you are healthy, you will attract healthy women. Pretty sure my ex-wife is BDP, and I noticed that at first I was still attracting BPDs. I have not gone out with a single woman that I suspected to be BPD since those first 5 or so dates. I have gone out with a lot of really good women, it's just hasn't been working out. They are definitely out there, even on tinder. The social scene has been kind of a bust for me because I attract younger women in the wild and of course they have yet to start a family and are still looking to, which is a no go for me.

It's going to be a journey to find yourself again and it's going to drive you crazy when a woman does something that triggers you and you can't figure out of it upsetting you because of your wife, or she is really doing something you don't like.
Forever alone? Attraction and keeping the girl chasing you - http://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=131498033

You will never know your limits, unless you push yourself past the imaginary lines you have drawn in the sand.

Knee Dragger - '06 GSX-R750
post 1516071631 08-17-2017, 08:09 PM
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Originally Posted By pondus_levo⏩
I strongly feel that if you are healthy, you will attract healthy women. Pretty sure my ex-wife is BDP, and I noticed that at first I was still attracting BPDs. I have not gone out with a single woman that I suspected to be BPD since those first 5 or so dates. I have gone out with a lot of really good women, it's just hasn't been working out. They are definitely out there, even on tinder. The social scene has been kind of a bust for me because I attract younger women in the wild and of course they have yet to start a family and are still looking to, which is a no go for me.

It's going to be a journey to find yourself again and it's going to drive you crazy when a woman does something that triggers you and you can't figure out of it upsetting you because of your wife, or she is really doing something you don't like.
It is going to be rough man and as sad as it sounds it's a fear I have, eventually finding someone or getting back into dating. First I have to get over this situation before even looking down the road though.

Pardon my ignorance but what does BDP and BPD stand for?
My training log: https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=178464441
post 1516071841 08-17-2017, 08:11 PM
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Originally Posted By Anthony21⏩
It is going to be rough man and as sad as it sounds it's a fear I have, eventually finding someone or getting back into dating. First I have to get over this situation before even looking down the road though.

Pardon my ignorance but what does BDP and BPD stand for?
Borderline Personality Disorder.
post 1516073761 08-17-2017, 08:28 PM
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Originally Posted By BlackScorpio91⏩
Borderline Personality Disorder.
Ahh good looking out.
My training log: https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=178464441
post 1516170841 08-18-2017, 02:56 PM
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Originally Posted By pondus_levo⏩
I'll start sending our feelers when I think she's losing interest just to be sure. But for the most part, my intuition has been pretty spot on.




Nah, this one is legit lost and still hung up on her ex AND she doesn't sleep around. It was our fourth date overall. It sucks because we get along really well, but she's just not ready.
She'll never be ready. It's the father of her kids, she looks at them every day and it's a constant reminder. Not your fault.
post 1516171961 08-18-2017, 03:04 PM
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Seeing that i'm being thrown back into the dating world. What are your thoughts on women with kids and if you start to talk to one, then find out she has a kid?

I have two kids on my own and i'm not interested in meeting a chick with a kid. Sorry if it's a random question.
My training log: https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=178464441
post 1516176371 08-18-2017, 03:44 PM
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Originally Posted By pondus_levo⏩
Definitely don't make choices out of fear or doubt. I make it a rule to always act as though there is no doubt she would want to me to do, say, X or Y. As a man, I think it's better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.

I've never gone for any of my sister's friends, but she is older. If she was younger, I probably would have leveraged that.

As for the woman with the ex, I'm really not sure I want to pursue that. She's made some pretty poor choices that makes it hard for me to respect her and the fact that she allows her ex to still manipulate her and string her along is a pretty big turn off. I'm looking for a strong woman that would never put up with that kind of BS, but at the same time, it's kind of a turn on with how loyal she is. She's a ******** friend now and I'll keep in touch, but I think friends is the farthest I will ever go with her.

Who knows, she's a woman, so I also can't put it past her that she told me all that just to let me down easy. LOL. Can't dwel on this kind of stuff to much, it will drive ya crazy and if you find the right match, there shouldn't be any doubt.
Naturally I am a problem solver which tends to lead me to over analysing things, especially with women. I like that rule. being ruthless also sounds like a quicker way to get rid of smokeshows too.

Yeah my sister is a few years younger so it's an option if needed I guess.

That is a shame then, anyways plenty more out there.
post 1516227961 08-19-2017, 02:41 AM
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Originally Posted By Bhruninha⏩
I would try a little more if I were you, as women like to be chased and hold back in fear of screwing things up. My current boyfriend thought I wasn't into him on date number two and sort of gave up, wasn't going to ask me out on a third date until days later he decided to take a chance anyway and we literally texted each other at the same time. In the meantime I had no idea that I came off as uninterested to him.
were you actively showing interest? not actively showing interest = disinterested
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post 1516237021 08-19-2017, 07:21 AM
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Originally Posted By pondus_levo⏩
let's them know I'm not just looking for a easy score...
Good, just change it to a more neutral remark e.g. "fine, we'll pick that up next month." Don't imply that she'll need to jump through several hoops during your following dates in order to experience those extra fun stuff that you proposed and which she took interest in then.

Well done with moving on / leaving the ball completely in her court after your second attempt to set up a date and her refusal to go with it. Your time, attention and energy is valuable and so should be (yours and) hers to her.

Also good that you seek for women with children themselves. It's the best solution imo when being single with kids to look for a partner with kid(s) as well, you both are on the same page in life then, you have and handle responsibility for children; and you enrich each others lives with experience, knowledge and people.

PS: Regarding the term used by many of the "best option", one should be aware that usually and practically no one will meet his / her best option ever. It's about meeting a good option, whom one wants to live and enjoy ones life (or periods of it) with.

PPS: And don't forget to flash her with those nice, big, baby-blues eyes of yours; work with what mama and papa gave ya ;-).

~~~

@Legend, oh wow, what a change of tune, congratulations, glad to hear that you found a womanfriend and you have a nice relationship with her and yourself as well.
~~~ Children of seeds:
https://youtu.be/T112cNgGiGY

~~~ Adopt, don't shop:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9pJpMJ0IxE&t=29s
~~~ Countries for winners and losers:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbpY-2nOYRI&t=3s
~~~ Say no to porn and prostitution:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRJ_QfP2mhU
post 1516239651 08-19-2017, 08:07 AM
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My male friend is very jealous with me, but I don’t have any other friends to go out for drinks, I don’t have any social circle either. This guy he is an extroverted person and he has mad game with women, but when we go out together he avoids to approach women. When he is out there solo he constantly approaches random girls, and I know that because our spot is a specific place (bar – restaurant) and the guys and girls who they’re working there they inform me about his actions.

Personally I don’t cold approach frequently women but by accident recently I invited 2 girls to stay with us, me him and yet another guy. I brought the girls to our table but the result was a disaster for me. My friend he started to 'hit up' the girl who I was trying to warm up the situation, he even laughed many times with irony for something that I said to her. This cokcblock was astonishing, but the next day when I tried to explain to him that he acted disrespectful towards me he didn’t admit it.

This wasn’t the first time on which my friend makes stupid things when I’m talking to women and it is not that he is thirsty for women, no, his problem is me, he get mad every time he see me to talk to women.
So what do? I can kick his ass and avoid him, but I don’t have any other person to go out together. I don’t have any social circle ether. When I go out solo I feel depressed and I just drink my beer staring at couples and generally other people who seem very happy but, I’m not…
post 1516241491 08-19-2017, 08:39 AM
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So you have to choose between:

1. Staying in touch and going out with your non-friend, being ridiculed and cockblocked by him, and then you getting and staying mad because of it all, stressing your emotions / emotional grid and your health.

Or

2. Give him the boot instead asap, be another, but improved kind of alone for a while (since you've already been alone for a while now) and by that free your time, better your emotions and stabilize a positive mindset, in order to meet and bond with other, positive, supportive people, hence to have the chance to form friendships and potentially a relationship with a woman you like and who likes you back.

Tough choice ;-).
~~~ Children of seeds:
https://youtu.be/T112cNgGiGY

~~~ Adopt, don't shop:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9pJpMJ0IxE&t=29s
~~~ Countries for winners and losers:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbpY-2nOYRI&t=3s
~~~ Say no to porn and prostitution:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRJ_QfP2mhU
post 1516245891 08-19-2017, 09:39 AM
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Originally Posted By MeFromG⏩
So you have to choose between:

1. Staying in touch and going out with your non-friend, being rudiculed and cockblocked by him, and then you getting and staying mad because of it all, stressing your emotions / emotional grid and your health.

Or

2. Give him the boot instead asap, be another, but improved kind of alone for a while (since you've already been alone for a while now) and by that free your time, better your emotions and stabilize a positive mindset, in order to meet and bond with other, positive, supportive people, hence to have the chance to form friendships and potentially a relationship with a woman you like and who likes you back.

Tough choice ;-).
Thanks man,

Sometimes in life we tolerate things because we don’t want to be completely lonely…

But, on the other hand right now I’m feeling that it doesn’t worth it to receive all this negative energy and disrespectful behavior from him. It is not about women it is all about him and me. He always tries to put me down in general…and I can feel his negative energy.
post 1516248531 08-19-2017, 10:17 AM
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Originally Posted By nice17⏩
Thanks man,

Sometimes in life we tolerate things because we don’t want to be completely lonely…

But, on the other hand right now I’m feeling that it doesn’t worth it to receive all this negative energy and disrespectful behavior from him. It is not about women it is all about him and me. He always tries to put me down in general…and I can feel his negative energy.
You're welcome. Now you're much more lonely (and constantly upset in addition) than you think you will be after you let him go.

You reach your limits, you become seriously fed up; this is a very good thing, because now change of your behaviour and habits can occur at any time, meaning you find courage and increasing love in / for yourself to protect yourself, your future and the posibilities and chances coming with it, you start to guard it from him (or anybody else bad in future - this / your upcoming lesson is universal and forever valid), his destructive and demeaning conduct.

PS: Have you ever spoke to him about his abuse / foul act? If so, did he care and react then in the short-term?
~~~ Children of seeds:
https://youtu.be/T112cNgGiGY

~~~ Adopt, don't shop:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9pJpMJ0IxE&t=29s
~~~ Countries for winners and losers:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbpY-2nOYRI&t=3s
~~~ Say no to porn and prostitution:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRJ_QfP2mhU
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