yeah it was cool for awhile for sure, especially when we had nothing to do the next day and could just go and have fun. but other times, I could definitely go without it. and I am a super morning person and I haven't met someone who can match my intensity in the morning yet.

for anyone wondering, girl 6 (k) sent me a text a few minutes ago. it was a recording of this song we both like playing in her car.

i can't explain how I am feeling lately but I have been in complete isolation the past two weeks and it has felt so good.

ya, my guy works super long hours too, so I am ready to accept a lag of communication. Guess it just comes with the lifestyle
well, how does it feel receiving that recording? I know you said you appreciate isolation, but how do you feel about socialization?

For some reason I felt good too by reading those last 2 lines.

When they feel my warm baby soft skin/body on them and my arms wrapped, this is comfort in itself IMO.

I guess so. Sometimes the space is good, though. A lot of girls I meet and have been with needed constant contact and it sometimes rubs me the wrong way unless I can get really interested in what we are talking about.

As for the text, eh, I dunno. I think she just misses my attention since we used to see each other daily at the gym. I haven't responded. Would I still like to do things with her? Absolutely. But she's younger than me and it's probably not worth the effort. So I should probably just keep my yap shut and get back to how I've been lately.I'm confused. Are you feeling good because I feel good? If so, then good! It has been weird being so quiet and straying from my normal routine as of late, but what I have found is that I have much more time for myself. Which is good and bad. I fear I may not be going on many dates in the future or meeting new people like the last log due to the comfort I have found in my new lifestyle.

Lol...that's funny. I'm usually the soft one. I actually don't mind, and am in fact attracted to men with rougher hair. It exudes masculinity
yep, this happens to me every time! #boredcrew

I was imagining that receiving that message must have felt nice.

You mean just for the sole fact that I have been swiftly ignoring her for about two weeks now and yet she still has texted me at multiple points this week?

It's a good song, so I jammed out at my desk for a sec then got back to work.

Nevermind, bro. Got it now. I thought you were actually building something nice with this girl and she was treating you. Nevermind.

Nope! Just someone who seems into me at times and not into me at other times that I decided to leave in the dust.

Have no options right now and nothing even remotely close to developing.

Update:Took 8+/10 girl I smashed on saturday out again. she was completely different, grabbed dinner at this place/bar that love, she mentioned how tired she was. just ended up dropping her off. asked her whats up - she started acting all evasive/not answering. saying stuff like "I don't know, I don't know whats going". Just left after that.

What's crazy about the situation is that she did a complete 180 on me. smashed a bunch of times on sat/calling me pet names etc. asked for me to stay over. texted each other the next day. she even facetimed me out of the blue one night because she wanted to chat, ended up talking for an hour. for me that was even too much. Let my guard down a little and set up the date last night.


back to the drawing board. Not sure wtf happened there? extremely confusing.

Back off a little. Make her wonder what you're thinking. Ignore that FaceTime garbage, be a bit of a dick. It's what works.

Even if she throws pussy at you, you still gotta have other shiit going on. Can never be too anxious with these women.

Still glad you made it, knew you would. Don't think too much of it. After sex, you have literally all of the power. Make her chase you.

this was a huge 180. nothing like I've expereinced before. I assumed I had all the power after the sex and all the communication she was doing, and let my guard down. I paid for drinks last night, she texted me this morning offering to pay half of it because she felt bad after I basically laid into her last night that you can't act all disinterested and decide you want to go home 30 minutes into seeing each other (after we phukked multiple times and acted all interested and stuff, a complete change from before), and then pretty much foot me with the bill at the end of the night. her behavior last night signaled that she completely lost all attraction towards me and I did not want to be taken financially advantage of.

Apparently I did not have the power after sex lol.

Anyways, still glad I made it, no regrets. have another date scheduled with someone else this weekend

I mean, you have the power after sex, but that power eventually fades. You only keep that power if you keep showing little interest after sex.

One eventually gets so tired of this bull**** that straight out NCs a woman after minimal signs of lack of interest coming from her.

Once you get do this, women will once again get very interested in you romantically, because it shows fortitude. It's somewhat insane, if you think about it, really.

JFC, dude. **** test failed on multiple levels. When will you learn. You went from supplicating chump to whiny bitch.

You and Otaku react the same way to these situations and wonder why it all falls apart so fast.

Glad you got laid, but **** dude, I'm pissed.

I don't show crazy amount of interest out of sex. my philolosphy is that I jsut go on with my goals/plans/life and don't let a girl take over them. I may still respond/etc. It's more of a mindset than saying "I will text twice as well as normally I would". maybe to her it was "too much interest", but I'm not going to sit here and hyper analyze what is the appopriate amount to text/call after sex, I just do. the irony of putting energy into purposely holding back is that you are still putting energy into her.

and I went NC after last night. if she wants to pursue me she can. She is a zero time and energy investment on my part. If she wants to see me again, she will have to prove it to me.

It's not likely she will pursue because you acted out. She won. Next time you bang, back off for a few days and don't be so available. It gets parroted around here but it's the truth. You had the power and you gave it up via constant contact and supplication. It happens, not a big deal.

EDIT - Actually I can see her reaching out because you actually stood up for yourself but in the future I'd be sure to just make them really, really work for that kind of attention.

I still do not understand this concept at all. what is "backing off". am I supposed to purposely not send her things and purposely ignore texts? Example - the next day I saw something that reminded me of her, so I texted it to her in a cheeky message. just one message. is that "too much"? keep in mind, she was contacting me, so it was NOT a one sided thing at all.


how did I "fail". If she was the one initiating most of the stuff after we had sex, and I responded, how is that a failure? am I supposed to purposely ignore communications to appear less "needy". I still do my own chit, it is not like I hover over my phone waiting for her to respond. You know me man, I am very into my career/hobbies/lifting - I'm not some guy harping over a single women all day.

I got pissed because it was all fine until literally the second I picked her up. it was a completely 180, and then she decided to financially take advantage of me despite it. that is what set me off. in my mind, it was ALREADY over, so of course I laid into her. I had nothing to lose and she had to hear it, because women (like her) are probably used to getting away with it all the time.

what I am doing now

Doesn't matter. He will **** it up again.

I'm done with FA's. They are all going on ignore.

Every time I tell them what they are doing wrong, all they do is justify their actions. It's pointless.

Ummm...

why?

ok Pondus, what would YOU have done in this situation after sex? how would you of had behaved.

Because in mind she lost attraction for me, and there is no use in investing time and energy into her. not only that, she tried to take financial advantage of me. so if she wants to hang out again, I'm not going to jump on it all enthusiastically, becuase of her actions in the past.

Nope, sorry. Ask someone that is still willing to help you.

She shouldn't "remind you" of shiit so soon into the relationship is what I'm saying. That has a needy vibe to it. Men don't send those messages. I got that exact kind of message from a chick I am leaving behind a few hours ago.

Texting is for logistics only. If you're going to respond, make sure it's funny, flirty, and/or brief. Make her keep working.

Act how a prize would. A prize wouldn't offer opportunities to speak to them that early in the relationship. They'd be too busy to remember. Sad, but true. It's what works.Make her wait hours for a response. I don't care if youcanrespond so soon, make her wait a while. And if she isn't acting right next time, just take her back and go cold on her. Tell her you aren't going to tolerate it and let her know right then and there that shiit ain't okay. You let it happen to yourself and decided to deal with it after, which is not the behavior of a man who values his time.

I will likely just ignore it. It'll just devolve into mindless chatter again anyway so fuuck it.

umm, idk why you're back to the 'drawing board'. why wouldn't you stick with her?
BIG MISTAKE. That'd be like ME assuming I all of a sudden have all the power just cuz we fcked. it doesn't work like that in real life...
so you're pissed about the drink bill, or her blatant disinterest in you?

why can't you just subtly and tactfully communicate to her whether she's interested in continuing to see you or not?

This all seems so phukked up. If you have your life together and your chit together and are doing your own thing, how does taking 1 min to send a reply signal that you are needy? It simply doesn't make any sense to me. how do women come up with these assumptions? If I am not busy, I respond to almost all text message as soon as I can, NOT because I am needy, but because I will ACTUALLY FORGOT to get back to people because I am SO BUSY and it has pissed people off in the past that needed confirmation from me for something.

so what this whole thing comes down to, is that the things that women assume I do are "needy" and driving them away, even if I am not doing them because I am actually "needy".

Ok, you and Pondus win, next time this happens (maybe this weekend), I will make it a point to purposely not text after smashing, not text anything that "reminds" me of them, and only call/text to chat about logistics. personally, I think it kills the natural chemistry and conversation, but I will just give it a shot because it can't be worse than what I am doing now.


drawing board = learning from my experience and applying it to other situations. not her.more of what Xvick is saying more than anything. although I partially agree as well. women respond emotionally more after sex than men.A little bit of both, but mostly because of how stand off ish she was acting after being seemingly interested. It would be like if you met up with someone you had a great date with, then for the second date they are acting kinda of bitchy/standoffish, and then to put the icing on top, basically throwing out signals they don't want to see you again and want to leave, and then footing you with the bill. if you know that you will not see someone again, to the point where their presence around you makes you squirm, why would you make them pay for everything? it comes across as taking advantage of the other person.because I don't waste time on girls that show zero interest. whats the point?

This I disagree with.

I definitely feel as if in the early going, once a man has sex with a woman he has complete control of the situation. And I think this for a few reasons:

1) He already got what he wanted so if that's all he was after, he can just stop contacting her.
2) If she wants more than that, then she will have to initiate and contact more and more and communicate how she feels first. This will give him the opportunity to take it and run with it or shut it down. It puts him in a position of power.
3) She is likely more vulnerable now that she had sex with him and she will have to actually put in work to see what's going on with him.

All he really has to do is sit back and wait and ultimately how she really feels will be revealed. If he doesn't hear anything or she rebuffs his plans to see her again, he knows. That's powerful. Before sex, I feel as if women have the upper hand, but in this situation I feel like psycho definitely did before letting it get away from him with too much correspondence and tolerating that whack ass behavior of hers and confronting her after the fact.

It's basic human psychology, man. People want others more who don't want them as bad. Everything we do has a motive to it. You've experienced it before, for sure.

These women have tons of options nowadays. Most women have at least 4-5 dudes in their phone they can call up and get pipe from if that's what they want. The best way to ensure you close the deal is to make yourself different from most of the people they talk to. It sucks but it is the only way. You need to be a constant challenge or it's a wrap for your ass.

I switch it up all the time. Being open with them and vulnerable, and being closed out. Not initiating. "Busting their balls", semi ignoring them and etc."Being a constant challenge". I'd had girls reply with "lol" when I try to used the game I've seen Vick use. None of that trash has ever worked. You act as is most men are always consciously battling and aware of "chit tests" and that isnt the case. I see the most dependent, whiny, clingy losers manage to maintain relationships. You over think this.


At this moment In time I'm actually talking to a girl and things seem to be going ok. I can only attribute this to her education level. However I'm just being me, chillin, and she appears to be going with it. kinda cute and not obese so Im ok with this. As a libertarian conservative I run into a lot of weird static with a large chunk of millennials and minority women. I'd argue my location, race, personality, and beliefs just created a crock pot of a guy that isn't deemed attractive. Recently learned most black girls I know think I'm the devil because I don't think Trump is the worst thing to ever happen.

Vick, this is a very good point.

If purposely waiting to text, backing off a ton after sex works, why do I personally know MANY relationships that started with the guy calling every day, falling over her, etc, even after having sex during a one night stand. one of my college female friends ended up marrying a guy whom they hung out one night, had sex. he called her the next day during lunch to chat for an hour, then every day after that. she was exclaiming how sweet/special it made her feel, and that it seperated him from other guys. I'm not saying I would DO THIS, but how do you explain this? shouldnt all these girls be running for the hills because of this "neediness".
Sounds like an immaturity level thing. I agree it happens to me too, but not as much, since I don't have time to harp over someone that shows no interest, something I've gained over the years.

the need to appear less needy, even if you are less needy and have your chit together, to appeal to women who have this warped sense of reality of your situation, is just phukking ridiuculous. There are men that are actually needy, and men who are busy and have their chit together AND take the time to respond. it doesnt mean they are NEEDY. but apparently women don't care. It is obvious now why dating is so phukked up nowadays and you have women who are perpetually single.

And then suddenly when I chat with girls when I am overseas, everything changes. (I travel). Suddenly all the chit I do that is apparently "needy", they seem to find endearing/etc.