Girl who I went on 2 dates with blew me off for lunch today. I gave her a 5 hour window for lunch because I had to work in the late afternoon and I told her I'd work around her schedule for food. She said she wouldn't be able to make it. Wouldn't be able to make a 5 hour window......lol.

I didn't even bother responding. This is after she was suuuuuuper into me and inviting me to all sorts of things a few days ago. My guess.....she found someone else on tinder. I could be wrong, doesn't really matter.

Still supposed to hang out with the girl I met at the group setting on Saturday even though I'm trying to figure out a way not to do it. This chick is out of a 10 year relationship and I think it's going to end badly if I take her out. Maybe I'll just get her to try trivia night with a group so I'm not alone with her and then I'll let her down easy after. Haven't thought too much about it yet.


Anyone know of any dating sites that aren't complete garbage? I've only tried tinder, bumble, okcupid and they were all equally terrible. I'm guessing they're all the same now because of modern dating and the attention whoring but maybe someone hear knows of a better one.

Work/school 6 days this last week so it's hard for me to approach anyone when I'm too busy to even cook meals half the time.

Tinder really went to **** man and the others dating sites just lol, they're ok for hookups. If your looking for someone to actually date I would reccomend any of those sites. Of course you can come across a diamond in the rough but majority of the time that's not the case.

Paid sites.

for starters maybe trying to approach girls in real life as what a 34 y/o is supposed to be able to do.. you'll get much better puss

Yeah, I noticed this as well. Hell, even 8-10 months ago Tinder wasn't this bad. It's really gone to **** recently, crazy how that works.This is what I'm thinking too. I might have to give Match or <gasp> eharmony a try. Fuark.

So far this whole thread seems to be a fail. Alot of Ls being taking. Vick's dating log is getting more success. Hopefully I'll see some Ws from you.

Hey USR, you shredded? If so make a craigslist post in the 'men seeking women' section, be sure to mention in it that you'll only respond to emails with pics, and watch the messages roll in.

A few years ago I made a CL post with a pic similar to my avi (didn't even include my head in the pic) and got flooded with non-bot messages. Give it a go. If you're just looking to smash, post in the 'casual encounters' section as well (srs).

I met my bf on e-harmony. we have been together for almost 3 years now.

with my experience, all of the women I have been with had no idea they can squirt until they dated me.

I'm hoping so too brah. I stay positive in day to day things, sometimes gets a bit frustrating at night before bed when there's no more daily grind to worry about. Chick who blew me off this weekend (after 2 REALLY good dates) hasn't sent one text or anything so I"m guessing there's maybe a 5% chance I'll hear from her again. Such is the life of a girl on tinder though, she's figuring out her A, B, C and D options.

I have a free day Thursday so I'm going to try cold approaching somewhere. First day off in awhile so I'm pumped for that, hopefully I can pull a W instead of an L.This can't be serious lol. Why would these women be looking on Craiglist instead of just tinder/bumble/etc when it's 10x easier there?Details?

It sucks you're going through this $hit but at least it's a learning experience for me and it helps us younger guys know what to do or what not to do by reading a log from an older, more experienced guy

Srs. Some women still use CL. It allows them to browse anonymously (not saying this is a good thing).
Had a few good smashes off there.

Make a quick post bro. What have you got to lose?
Also, stay safe OP.

Thanks bud.

I've found that the dating game has changed exponentially in the last few years. Social media/dating apps/volume of people has completely changed the landscape in a way where I think a lot of guys (myself included) can't keep up with it. I have a few attractive friends that are women and every time they show me the volume of messages they receive on whatever platform they're on, it's ridiculous. I've never seen so many men beg for sex. Literally beg. Not figuratively, literally. It's crazy. This has warped the entire dating game.

For instance, this girl I went out with twice recently is by all accounts a solid, well put together, well mannered, decent girl. She has a good family, brothers and sisters that make sure she doesn't take herself too seriously, has to work for everything she has, etc. Yet because of something like tinder she has so many options that really having 2 amazing dates means jack ****. The "well, I really had a good time with him and we get along great but this guy might be better" mindset is always going to be there with the amount of options available. ****, we even both worked Africa and not too far from each other. We both work in the same career field, we both even want to get into the same area of our careers in the future. It's crazy how much we had in common. She even mentioned how she wished she had a personal trainer in the gym and then I told her I was a trainer for 5+ years and she was super excited about it. All these dots being connected and then you can STILL get blown off because "Well, I still need to go out with guy 2, 3, 4, 5, etc to make sure they aren't the one" before I give this guy another shot.

It's such a strange landscape we're dealing with now. This happened with a recent girl I dated for a few months as well. Got along extremely well. Never argued. I saved her dogs life in a raging river and almost got myself killed doing it. (srs) And then she breaks up with me because she saw no future. I randomly saw her on Match.com looking for Mr. Right recently. (I check online dating to make sure I don't know a bunch of people before signing up for anything) It makes me wonder....what the fck are these women looking for? And this one is 35 and worried she's not going to meet someone in time to have kids. Lmao. Well ok....

I guess it's like addiction. Keep trying the next thing before you settle. Then you turn a certain age and realize you rode the cawk for 10+ years and didn't find what you're looking for. But then, when no decent guy you'd think would want you, you find a bunch of single guys who have had zero luck willing to settle for anything in order to not be alone. This is what separates guys with common sense (like myself) from a lot of others. I won't settle for someone who only wants me because they're used up and emotionally damaged. I hope any of the younger guys here take note on that as well. If you take a lot of L's in life, don't settle for a chick who's only with you because she's done doing the YOLO thing at 37 years old or some crap like that. Have more respect for yourself. Some might see that as common sense but when you get to my age, you notice a lot of people who are defeated and broken and willing to take anything they can get. This is especially true when you get blown off by single moms with 3 kids who lives with her grandparents and works at Chilis. You start to feel like maybe you don't offer much even though it's not true.I just looked at Craigslist. Jesus those women are gross. Are they the ones hitting you up? You like 400+ pound girls?

Keep in mind, though, that US_Ranger is going out with a LOT more girls than I am due to his position in life compared to mine, so that will open up the opportunity for taking L's tremendously. I think him and I both are more so creating our logs for teaching younger/less experienced members of this forum how things usually work while at the same time opening ourselves up for criticism to help us and other members improve continuously.

I think both are great tools because he is 34 and I am 25 and we are both at very different places both geographically and personally. I am in NY, he is in CA. I am employed full-time and travel a lot, he indulges in his hobbies and seems more like a free-spirit in that he is searching for things that will make him happy. Just a lot of similarities and differences for people to connect with.

Negative. 90% of the girls who hit me up, did not have their own posts. Just shut up and make a post already. Thank me later.

Dang man, sounds like my situation I just went through. Really just remember that if she was into she'd drop everything. OR have an alternative. Had great date too then girl does 'oh so busy!' ok bye...

Ive tried eharmony and match, eharmony is an utter joke, match was better but nothing happened out of there either.

My friend met her husband on e-harmony. Both are software engineers and below average looking per misc standards. But they are freaking happy with a son and a couple of estates.

You said women are looking the next best thing because of so many options. What if you had many women options. Wouldn't you want to pick the best one for yourself?

I don't know how you look like but from what you described of yourself and reading Vick's log, the bad luck seems to happen to good-looking men. My male and female friends are average/below average looking and most of them are married or have a gf/bf.

I don't really consider myself unlucky; in fact I've been extremely lucky and fortunate throughout my life in 95% of the sticky situations I have found myself in. I just think this is the state of dating in 2016, for both USR and myself. Lots of options in this day and age and likely a fear of long-term relationships in many.

Excessive options breeds confusion and uncertainty.
"Yeah Chad is great and all, but I better test drive Jamal and Tyrone as well. Hmm, Jamal's BBC really does the job... K, I'll pick him... Oh hey Rico!"
Women choose the best option, then monkeybranch when a better one comes along (which doesn't take long in 2016).People are only as faithful as their options. Your female friends who are average/below average are way more likely to monkeybranch than their male counterparts, who are more likely to forgive her when she sloots it up and comes crawling back after Chad/Jamal/Tyrone/Rico pump and dump her.

Do I think for a second that my current gf won't swing to the next cawk the moment something she perceives as better comes along?
Nope. Enjoy the moment, and remember... she's not yours; it's just your turn.

Ok... I did not ask to give me examples of how women choose the best option.

My question IS as a man, would you not want to pick the best woman option for yourself if you had a lot of options. A simple yes or no would suffice.

Wow you know my friends so well even though you have not met them. Here I am thinking I know them after 18 years of friendship. Well good luck to you and your gf!

It would depend on what I was looking for at the time. For a girlfriend, absolutely yes. In other instances, not necessarily.

I've had plenty of full time jobs before. I've made 6 figures before. I found it wasn't worth it because I wasn't happy so I packed up and moved on. So now I'm in a career change (at 34) and moving towards something that is more my style. I indulge in a lot of hobbies, hell I have probably have too many, but it's just odd that 95% of the women I go out with have zero hobbies. No, instagram, shopping and drinking aren't hobbies. Sorry.

We are in different places, figuratively and literally, and it's just odd that there's such a string of L's to go along with my side of the fence. Oh well, on to the next.Yeah, I don't play the chase game so if a chick blows me off, it's her turn to set something up. The odds of that happening are the same as a giant asteroid wiping the planet out so maybe in 65 million years it'll happen. A few times I've received a text weeks later saying something like "Why did you stop talking to me?" or something stupid like that. In my younger days I'd remind them that I tried over and over and over and over and over and over to set something up but now I don't even bother. And STILL, in the entitled mind, you're somehow not making enough effort. That's the part that kills me. It's almost like an injustice how so many women can't seem to self-reflect enough to understand they dropped the ball. It happens, accept it and move on, but at least understand that the guy can't put 99.9999% of the effort in all the time. At some point, a woman has to reciprocate.Would I pick the best option? Well, let's see. Consider that the deal breaks for me are

-attractive
-into fitness
-into health
-no substance abuse issues
-not a complete loser

I'd say that I'll give anyone who fits that category a real chance. And even the attractiveness part is up in the air. If a chick is a 6 but is really cool, I'll absolutely go out with her and see where it goes. As it is now, I notice that I've met a lot of women where I have a ton in common and the theme that happens over and over again is that they blow me off for other options. Sometimes it's understandable, maybe they want the 6'3 jacked guy who lives on mommy's trust fund and drives a brand new bmw. I get it. But when someone works in the same field, worked in the same area of Africa, has a lot of the same hobbies, same sense of humor, etc and then they blow me off, it makes me understand that meeting 28/30 in the criteria range isn't good enough for modern dating. They just need that extra little bit and they're going to ride dick until they damn well find it.

Hell, let's look an ex of mine. We get along great for months. I save her dog's life. She thinks I'm the best thing since sliced bread. Then she dumps me saying she sees no future. Ok. Then she's on Match.com looking for someone because she'd like to have kids. (she's 35) What was wrong with me? I don't know, she wouldn't tell me. Just give me something to work with here....nope. She said I was amazing but no future. And meanwhile she's scared ****less that she won't meet anyone to have kids with at her age.

I don't condone settling with someone when you aren't happy but if you get along great with someone and you genuinely think they're amazing, goddamn, give it a fcking shot at least...

Not in modern dating though. TOO MANY OPTIONS. MUST TRY THE NEXT ONE!!!!See above

Exactly.

Also, mencreatetheir options. Women just have them by default.

[QUOTE=US_Ranger;1468109491]Yeah, I don't play the chase game so if a chick blows me off, it's her turn to set something up. The odds of that happening are the same as a giant asteroid wiping the planet out so maybe in 65 million years it'll happen. It's almost like an injustice how so many women can't seem to self-reflect enough to understand they dropped the ball. It happens, accept it and move on, but at least understand that the guy can't put 99.9999% of the effort in all the time. At some point, a woman has to reciprocate. /QUOTE]

Last one I went on was this feminist going on and on about how women need to put in the effort as well into a relationship. Telling me how she was going to text me, and that its dated the guy does the chasing, nothing wrong with being aggressive.
Do I get texts or date set ups after date?
Of course not.

Oh brah I didn't mean to say you were unemployable or a bum or anything. By "searching for things that make him happy" I meant the career change since I know you dive and have a history of high earning from previous posts, etc. Just to clarify.

No worries man. Even if you did call me a bum, it's fine by me lol. I get it a lot, especially from women. When they hear I'm 34 and I quit a 100+ a year job just to do something I'd be happier in, a lot of them lose instant respect in regards to long term potential. You can literally see the moment in their eyes where they write you off after learning something. It's almost fun to watch it happen.

That being said, I know guys care less about this than women do so I didn't think you were ragging on me. But if you were, I trust your judgement and opinion so lay waste to my ego if you want.

Went out tonight to try and clear my head.

Had a 6 hour meeting with the VA today about school crap. All the current veterans in our program have been completely fcked by the VA and we aren't getting any of the money/stipend promised to us through contract so it's been a rough couple months. So today I sat through 5 hours of orientation, lecture, bull****, paperwork, etc all to have a 3 second meeting with a counselor where he told me to basically go fck myself.

So I left.

And then tonight I went downtown to meet some people to watch the World Series. I give zero fcks about baseball but there's a cute bartender there. I think the L's caught up with me as well as the 6 hours of wasted life listening to someone tell me to fck off when it comes to my future and money that's owed to me that I'm no longer getting now. I couldn't even bother to hit on the bartender even though she was being really nice. I went for a walk, got some thai food, brought her some coconut curry too. She was really thankful but I didn't even capitalize. She said "you look really tired" and that hit me in the gut a bit. She followed up with "I mean not in a bad way" but that was more damage control than anything. I ended up just leaving while her group of friends was distracting her for a minute.

Time to get some rest, shrug off my passionate hatred of the US government and get my head back on straight. Long day tomorrow.

I'm so sick of seeing this. It's nothing but a victim mentality cope. Women have ALWAYS had options.

You were just not the right fit for her for whatever reason.

My ex wife could have had any man she wanted, but she still chose me. I had options, but I chose her.

My current girl could have any man she wants, but she still chooses me. I have options, but I still choose her. This could change, but it wouldn't be because of "options."

All the other girls I dated and didn't work out because either they were not the right fit for me or vise versa. I never pass on a woman because I have other options, I pass because something is off.

So coming from a man that has options, I can say first hand your theory is wrong. That's just not how it works. Everyone is looking for the glass slipper. If a woman moves on, it's because you are not it and there is a probably 100 reasons why and most of them are subconscious.

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/...m_source=atlfbI see you like using misc lingo when it doesn't fit as well. Seems to be the standard around here. It's not cope you fcking tard. It's about settling and giving something a shot vs thinking there's always something better and moving on. No **** women (and men) have always had options. No one said anything differently. In modern dating there seems to be some ADD attribute attached to it. You just throw around words like "cope" when it doesn't even fit. No one is trying to cope with anything, it's about finding reasons behind the shift in dating so you can understand it better. The mass availability of options through online dating and seeing fake highlight reels (********, instagram, etc) of people's lives has shifted perception of healthy relationships and instead of settling for someone that meets 3/4 of your criteria, it's much easier to hold out for the person who matches 9/10 except that often doesn't happen like in the case of my ex who's still searching for Mr. right to have kids with instead of just giving it a shot with someone.

People have done large research papers about this very thing, hell, there's two posts just here from the Atlantic about it. Yet Pondus the resident narcissist has all the answers.