Also, just matched with some older woman, says she’s 40 but I think she’s a bit older than that & have a feeling she might even be married. Could be a bot as well.

She asked for my number but I’m not sure if it’s even a real profile. I don’t know what someone can do with my number if they’re a fake.

I might be wrong about this, but I feel like I'll never truly get over my ex unless I find a "better" woman. I know when I found her, I got over the last girl, and I remember thinking wtf was I even thinking with her.

I'm feeling the same way. Hugs Luc1. Finding a better guy/girl will be extremely difficult. It's also summer and most people are in relationships. I think when fall/winter hits it will get a bit better. Crossing fingers.

1. what was she like
2. how did you two meet
3. what happened

Same here. I have ptsd from mine and every day is hard for me. In fact I'm starting to lose my attraction to women all together because she was like a 9 and it would be hard for me to find anything like that again.

Stop saying you have ptsd from your ex. You can miss her and maybe not be over her but ptsd is srsly stretching it...

Ive long ago accepted the negatives and positives of online dating but this right here is by far my biggest annoyance. Obviously you might need more than a couple messages to decide if you want to hang out. But dont respond and lead us on if you have NO INTEREST in hanging out from jump.

No it won't. When fall/winter hits, it will be even harder to date cause not a whole lot of people would want to go outside. Summer is almost ending, now's the time to find someone.

lmfao you're a pathetic clown.

I’m wondering if this woman I matched with before is a bot or not on Bumble. She asked for my number after like 3 messages. And her second message seemed like it sent really quick like she copied & pasted it. Basically saying that she doesn’t like texting & if I wanted to grab lunch sometime. If I give her my number I’m not sure if I’d be at risk of them doing something if it’s not who they say they are. Just can’t tell if they’re lying or not.

Y'all know that people sort by a lot of stuff other than looks right?

Money - Most people want to be with someone that isn't that far off from them.

If you are middle class not too big of a thing, but if you are very poor or very rich your "in group" is smaller. And, duh, I'm not saying that a very poor person wouldn't want to or couldn't marry someone middle class, just that is much less likely due to different life experience/social circles.

Intelligence - Roughly 16% of people have a sub 85 (aka: below normal range) IQ and not many people that are average or higher are likely to choose them.

On the flip side there is a theory that about 30 points either way is the limit for comfortably communication so if you are a person at the top of the scale the entire pool of people that falls into your 30 point range is something like 2% of the population and more male than female.

Religion - pretty straight forward. If you only want to be with someone that has the same religion that will naturally eliminate a lot of people.

Parents marital status - If you are hoping to play it safe and only want to marry someone with parents that didn't divorce you are probably reducing your potential dating pool by at least a third.

Political affiliation - Yeah, see religion.

Personality disorder - I read an estimate that about 10% have a cluster B personality disorder, not sure what percentage may be antisocial. I think most of us would like to give that a pass.

Substance abuse - In the US they think 1 in 8 (12.5%) are alcoholics, something like another 4% are drug addicts.

So when you see two people and one is prettier than the other it could be other things than just money, or that the better looking one is "settling".

Some potential mates may strike out on multiple of these so there has to be some overlap, but it isn't like your potential pool is "all people in this age range of this gender" which is what looks boils it down to.

Some good points but I think most people probably think that if the guy isn’t that good looking but the woman is than most people think that it has to do with money. I admit I jump to that conclusion myself since sometimes I see couples where the woman is so far out of the guy’s league that the only thing I can think of is the guy has money. On the flip side I rarely see a good looking guy with a woman that’s not good looking.

Yeah but looks are like 40-50% of attraction for women and probably 70-80% of attraction for men. That's a huge chunk. The most important thing is looks, then personality and then everything else.

Obviously there are exceptions but relationships cannot work or even get started without physical attraction.

Also aren't a lot of dudes on here in good shape, intelligent, don't drink etc?

If a girl suddenly stops responding after a few messages, does anyone ever follow up?

I don't ever, but wondering if there's anything to lose (aside from pride and time) with one bump. Like is there ever anything to gain.

I asked my friend this the other day & he said he doesn’t bother if they either take forever to respond or stop responding.

Exactly this. The dude is insulting combat veterans, war refugees, and rape/torture victims every time he utters that nonsense. Reminds me of pampered kids in the suburbs talking about getting triggered over innocuous nonsense.

Maybe I'll try a couple as an experiment.

Go for it. Give the thread results on what happens.

Physical attraction is absolutely a big factor and men are more visual in their attraction.

So it is more common to see the good looking girl/less attractive guy because women don't rank looks quite as high in importance - at least not for anything long term.

I think the intelligence/communication factor might play into successful super smart guys with plain wives. I guess the Tesla guy has tried to get with hot women? And it hasn't worked out so great?

From what I've read if a person is, say more than 30 points over/under a group's average, then they are seen as "other" or almost as an enemy and are outcast.

I don't think most people actually work from a specific checklist (except Lucifer). You just know what your must have and nice to have and hell no traits are. The more selective you are the more you will probably need to be flexible on some traits to find a partner.

True, she probably won’t respond at this point since it’s been like 4 hours since she asked for my number. Might just say I was busy & that I’m not comfortable giving my number out right away & ask if they have snapchat?

Most women don’t realize how much of a difference this makes. I have so many girl friends looking for men to date and they’re all complaining no one ever asks them out even if they’re making eye contact, etc.

Making eye contact is just being a normal person with decent communication skills. Most men (and women) don’t assume slight lingering eye contact is a sign of interest unless they're delusional.

The one year I took off of dating, I know my body language changed toward men, the switch was off in my head, I was not looking to date so men just didn’t matter. During that time period, maybe a total of 3 guys approached me at the gym and 2 more asked me out at work. This was over 10-11 months.

I relocated and was ready to date again. I was a lot more interested in what men around he had to say and actually flirt with ones I thought were attractive. And I think my normal “look” changed too. Literally within 3-4 weeks had half a dozen guys approached me at various places (gym, grocery store, work conference, work) and straight up asked me out.

I am 100% not “hot”, I’m decent looking and fit, but there isn’t anything about me that would really stand out physically. So this means that it was all just my change in attitude. It’s a wonder how if you actually let men know you think they’re cute, they stop being complete autists and do something about it.

This is a disaster. I'm on the dating apps looking for someone just like my ex; looking for her without the personality issues. I'm looking for a fcuking unicorn right now and that's fukked.

Alltrapbrah you're right, I don't have options at her level of attractiveness. I feel like I fukked up.

Edit: Sorry, having another rough night.

I tried it once when I was on Tinder, didn't work. Most of the time I just moved on when a woman stopped responding or took forever to respond.

Why waste time on someone who's not interested in you?

everyone i know who is primarily looking for a solid relationship from online is not having a good time.

With online you should have more patience given the competition. If you have her number and she does this, next.Got a hunch you'll be back with ex. You are comparing everyone to her. Is she still messaging you?

You're not ready to go back to dating imo.