You know what, **** you. I don't need to explain **** to you. Go back and hang out with the other miserable kids.

You've been super bi-polar the last couple weeks, most notably today. Hope things are alright with whatever you have going on.

That being said, my point stands 100% and you know it. If this chick legit thinks you're a player and you're falling for her, you are a certifiable idiot. I doubt that's the case so pull your head out of your ass and think straight.

We all saw what happened with whatever her name was in the last thread. There's no reason to go full retard like that again.

Please, gents.

Thread doesn't need to be low-test Vick. Sometimes guys need tough love, this is one of those times. All the times I've made changes in my life (for the better) was after someone slapped some reality into me. Everyone has a subjective view of themselves that isn't necessarily the right one and people tend to be too much of a pussy to call each other out. When I started my thread, I had some serious hate, some of it justified and some of it not. The standard annoying trolls mad that I actually go on dates and then the dudes who put some perspective into why things happen the way they do. Even people I don't necessarily think I'd get along with in real life (like AJ or whatever her name is) say things that need to be said and if I can't handle it then that's on me.

Pondus has been here roasting fools for months now, he needs some of the filet he dishes out, especially when he makes stupid ass comments like falling for a chick who's telling him he's a player or like what happened with the last chick he was head over heels for.

It happens to all of us and we're men, not women. We need to hear it even if we don't like it.

I'm bi-polar because I spend too much time on these forums trying to help people that ask for help but only take advice from people that agree with them. Nothing more, nothing less, but okay, here I go wasting my time defending myself again. Yay!

1.) I was not HOH with Leti. I was working out some issues that I needed to figure out were because of her or me because of some fallout from my marriage. That is the only reason I did not dump her sooner. I was constantly detaching myself from her and that's what was getting to me. I figured it out, I've made adjustments, done deal.

2.) She's JOKED twice about me being a player. Not because she thinks I am playing games or will use her, but because I always seem to say the right things at the right time. But, behind ever joke is the truth. Everyone knows that, so obviously my charm is throwing up some kind of flag for her because in her experience men with as much charm as I have, probably are players. I've said many times, most women think I am a player in the beginning. My ex-wife said as much, even Leti said it, but I'm not, it's just my personality, so I'm not worried. I just need to tone back the charm otherwise I will just make things harder on myself.

3.) Yes, I like her a lot. I'm not afraid to say it. Not because of text on a screen. I'm not living in some fairy tale world. She is legit a pretty amazing person, If you knew her, you all would agree. I don't like her more than I should for knowing her for two weeks. I like her enough to want to keep getting to know her and not **** it up in the mean time. Pretty standard ****.

Satisfied?

Just because I enjoy dating exclusively doesn't mean I'm committing. If anything, I'm somewhat a commitment phobe. I just think the modern dating scene is a complete mess, and dehumanizing at the same time.

Asking her to be your G/F or asking to be exclusive is committing to her...you are taking yourself and her off the market, neither of you are free to see other people... I don't see how that could be seen any other way.

I guess we would see a video of how you interact in public?

Do you check your phone often when you are with a woman?

There was a guy at the gym who was aesthetic, 6'4, CPA, played college basketball, etc. but he had awkward nonverbal communication and always checked his phone nonstop. He seemed like such a catch but was still single at 32, so I assume it's due to his nonverbal communication.

Just like interviewing coaches will tape you so you can see your nonverbal communication, and how to improve it. Even verbal communication like pitch of voice is important, because early dating is essentially like a job interview.

OR

Perhaps she really was tired after working all day? I took a nap from 6-7pm last night. The darkness really affects my fatigue. But then if you chewed her out for being tired, that would make her feel even worse and not feel emotionally attached to you.

In Dialectical Behavioral Therapy we call this "Check the Facts". You made an assumption that she was not interested because she was tired and wanted to leave after 30 minutes. Then you assumed that she was trying to take advantage of you financially and laid into her. What evidence did you have of this?

In this case I would think one to be mellow and say OK she is tired, tonight was a short night but at least she made an effort to come and didn't flake? Then see how the next date goes?

How much money did you pay on drinks, and was it worth an argument?

Depends on how you define commitment.

Dating a girl who is potentially romantically engaged with other guys at the same time is disgusting to me. And most people's defense is to try date multiple people too, rather than have the balls to call out the system.

I think the dictionary definition is what everyone usually uses: an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action.

I just don't get why you think you need to lock a woman down so quickly. If she's your type of woman, she's not going to be dating anyone else anyway...I wouldn't date a woman that is in a semi-serious, sexual relationship with another man either...

Just a word of advise, that tactic worked one time and it will never work again, so if you actually like a woman, don't ask her to be exclusive with you on the first date. She will most likely think you are an insecure creep, especially at our age.

How do you know she isn't dating anyone else?

Also, I agree it would come off as insecure and weird if delivered in the manner you're imagining.

Ask. There's no reason you can't have that conversation after the first date if things went well and you want to continue to see her. If she has an issue with it then you don't want to date her anyway, so this is an excellent filter for you.

Plus, I don't think as many people multi-date as you think they do. They might bbe talking to and going on a bunch of first dates around the same time, but they aren't maintain serious relationships.

Damn, i'm already behind on this one now.. had just barely got caught up on the first rendition.

but in anyway

You fish any lakes up nord bro?He reamed her out for paying for her. This will put her off and make her feel worthless, whereas previous men didn't bat a lash. Just LOL.She is a airhead bud, just "and you?" Mind you, most chicks are like this I find so I've adapted. I actually want to meet a extrovert.

Since I asked her what she does for a living before and she ghosted me I fell back on that. She plans rec activities for patients in a long term care home so I threw in a nice compliment of how it sounds like she really makes a difference in their lives, good on her, etc and she hasn't responded yet. Seems flakey. Too many options when you are a smoke show. Won't be picking it up again if she doesn't respond, I thought for certain she would appreciate that compliment and respond right away. Meh.You're right on the money. I get accused of being a playa/knowing how to charm too and its only because of our smooth witt and sarcasm. I just hit them back with something like "why, because I like to have fun with women I talk to, you boring or what? Don't make me reconsider my options" Always throw it back at them and make them feel stupid lol.Commitment phobe yet you tell your current gf you want to be exclusive on date 1. Not adding up holmes! Majority women today would run after hearing that, JSYK.

used to wayyyy more. Started a landscaping business last summer and have really not been able to say no to the constant money/work coming in

no, I don't check my phone often when I am with people period, I think it is rude. I sometimes get nervous during first meetups, but I had already had sex with her so I was feeeling nervous?

Here is why I believe she lost attraction: she was very excited over text etc about hitting about these two places that night. then when I pick her up, she is normal for a little bit, then she starts getting standoffish - just the vibe I got from her. then after around 30 minutes she is suddenly "tired". It was very clear to me she wanted to leave and that something changed in her mind. I think maybeee our communication styles are so much different. I'm not sure. I'm am INTJ engineer type and she is a typical (former) sorority girl. our life experiences and what we think and talk about, along with HOW we talk, are just so different. She showed me her instagram - legit like 10,000 followers, etc. I am more introverted/deep and not as animated. she is a fast, loud, succinct communicator in public. she basically thinks out loud and asked questions out loud, whereas I think about things a litltle first. It was hard for me to keep up with, not because I was nervous, but because it was just a lot of energy.maybe that came across as me being "insecure". she told me she could not hear what I was saying a lot - I was getting exhausted talking.

Drinks were around 50 bucks - I just felt like she was thinking "meh, this guy is not that exciting in person....I'll just go...he can pay and Ill just go". Maybe she needs that very outgoing kind of guy. I'll never really know. I'm not the kind of guy that is going to be extremely animated/outgoing talking to someon else, only in breif spurts if I am passionate about something. I can see her putting on a massive subconcious **** test that I have to level 99 PUA skills and master frame to pass, but if that is the case, I don't want that ****. I'd rather be with a 6-7/10 normal girl that I dont have to keep on my toes every second.

I got into that "Argument" with her because I knew attraction was gone and she thought she could take advantage of me, based on the kind of person I thought she was (very attractive girl that gets everything handed to her from men).

wtf the other log reached 10,000 posts?

no it didnt

No, 2000. But I was changing my philosophy on dating slightly and it became a little cluttered.

Your'e new philosophy centers around more just living your life and "letting them come to you". Do you think your activities and daily environment are conducive to that? Do you get approached often?

I can tell you, if I took this approach I would never get laid, since I'm never around women, except for the gym. I have to make an effort to go places I would normally not go to.

played in a metal band = mostly guys
work in engineering = mostly guys
work out = every girl is hyper focused on her workout and has headphones in


The question is, is it worth if for me to do a new activity that combines my interests with there being more girls around, just to get more opportunities.

I am really confused as to the timeline of events here. She is standoffish yet she let you stuff her? Provide a timeline of how chit went down. The quoted above suggests personality issue to me, shocker.

Doesn't matter. If she is giving you IOI, you approach.

You get faded out haircut yet? How many times am I going to ask you this question before you actually answer?

I get approached all the time. Sometimes directly, sometimes indirectly. I count an approach as a woman putting herself in front of me and initiating with me in addition to giving me indications that she is interested and that she wants me to approach her.

Here is my daily routine on a weekday: At work from anywhere between 8 and 9 to 6-6:30, then I go to the gym, then I go to a lounge and smoke, and then I am home at 10 every single day. On the weekend I usually get up early-ish, go to the gym, and then do whatever weekend plans I have conjured up. Usually I'm just doing something active, traveling, or some other solo activity. I rarely drink and rarely go out unless I am in a group. My daily lifestyle is in no way conducive to meeting women. If I want to meet women then I just have to go out and do it.

I do not anticipate going on many dates, if any, over the next several weeks and months. I prefaced this early in the thread. The last log helped me realize that what I am looking for is not going to be an easy find in the age demo I prefer combined with the city I live in. Many women here have kids and lack ambition from an early age. So I just need to keep biding my time.

Oh hey guys haven't checked the thread in a while what's going o---hhhhhhhh lawwwwd

Pass the popcorn, there goes my Friday morning

I was really gonna get work done today too.

as in cigar or bun one?

WTF is everyone so flustered for? Nothing is going on. Same ol G's teaching lessons, but for nothing it seems.

timeline cliffs:

Sat:
1pm: Get blasted with drinks, she gets pretty tipsy. makeout at bar. Easy.
6pm: She asks if I want to go back to her place, we uber back. She pretty much takes her clothes off without me even trying. Smash right away. asks me to stay over, watch a movie etc/chill

Sun: Leave and go do my stuff after smashing again in the morning. Don't mention to hang out again. just left. Text a little later.

Monday: text a little. I'm about to head to bed and she facetimes me out of the blue and we chat for like an hour. I can tell in her eyes she is acting "cutesy" smiling at what I am saying. you catch my drift. You know when someone is into you, basically.this is when I let my guard down. I end the convo first saying I have to go bed, then give her chit that she owes me coffee the next day for keeping me up.

Tuesday: text a little. set up plans for wed. tell her I am going to take her to this place she will like. nothing fancy.

Wed: she is excited about the prospect of hanging out via texts. I pick her up, she is how she was the first 30 minutes. then she started to change. we are at the bar, she is talking up a storm, just getting to know me more, etc. I am doing the same to her. she starts talking to the girl randomly next to her for like 5 minutes/etc. then she mentions she is "tired" and that she should go back soon. This is when I can things are starting to veer off. I grab the bill since she doesnt seem interested in splitting it. so I naturally think maybe she is just tired. But then when I drop her off she literally just thanks me and leaves the car without anything. that's when I called her asking her whats going on and got pissed. it felt like a first date where the girl becomes completely disinterested and wants to leave, except we had already phukked before.I thought I had HAD her prior, and her actions totally threw me off. she was also a little more "submissive" and feminine in her actions prior, whereas in the second date she seemed more standoffish

To me, she was going into full dating/relationship mode FAST after we had phukked, and I let my guard down because of it. not a lot, just a little. meaning I was willing to text a little more. Basically, I though I had HAD HER, especially after she facetimed me and HOW SHE ACTED during it. Yet, at the same time, I felt like she was way above my league (since I had never been with a girl like her before) and was wondering what was going on. She might have liked me for a quick bang, but the fact that she was texting/etc and calling me after made me think she actually liked me, which confused me.

My head is a little bit clearer today - so the above is probably more objective portrayol of what happened



Good realization. I love staying active and working on myself. Maybe its partially because I have not found someone to fill that time and I hate laying around. maybe if I had found someone a few years ago I would not of been as accomplished. not sure. It's not that bad not going on dates/meeting women for 3-4 months, but then it starts to wear on you, at least in my experience. Then you start noticing more women and becoming more frustrated, if you keep yourself in shape and have healthy testestorone. Basicallly, what I have learned is that you really cannot run away from m your biological instincts, especially if you are healthy male

I smoke everything except cigs. I usually smoke a cigar every day and have been for quite some time. They help me steer clear of some of the things I have dabbled with in the past that are extremely unhealthy.

This sunk you, even if you were and admittedly had reason to be flustered. You must have put her off with something during the convo bud. Did you offend her or anything or say something stupid/creepy?

For the future, perceive this as lack of interest and just pull back a bit and take her less seriously, don't show her it bugs (she needs to think you don't care as you have other options). I would have dropped her off, not made contact for a few days (feel HER out if she does) and then act as if nothing happened and text her again, banter a bit and try to set up another date (if I was interested in trying to salvage the sitch). Personally in your sitch, I would go NC unless she reached out to me first. I (and you) are high value and I ain't got time fo dat.

So its been radio silence since you freaked out on her? Lessons learned, no more dinner dates early on (unless money ain't a thang which is the case for you lol) and dates after 8PM only (after lunch/dinner time). Some more tips for future when the girl doesn't offer to pay: in an obvious joking tone: make fun of her for being cheap and tell her she is using you for your benefits (this only after you've paid like 3 times in a row though), in convo mention how you don't typically pay for women and how you have found they do chip in and how you appreciate it and believe that things should be fair. I did this with one kunt and she goes "I like a man's man who pays for me". I said "I believe in being fair so this prob won't work out" lol. I found out early she was a entitled gold digger, fukkkk outta here.

My recent failed date with the lawyer cost me $5 at Starbucks. No fuks given, its 5$. Had it of been 150$, yeah, I'd be shook too lol. See my point?

Answer the question: did you experiment with the faded haircut?

I love taking a day to lay around, since I am out of the house from like 7 to 10 every single day. If it's a Sunday and the weather sucks I have no problem getting a workout in and laying around with my dog all day. Do I like going on dates with women I find attractive? Absolutely. However I am giving in to the fact that what I want is not really easily attainable here and I can't force someone into being who I want them to be. I don't think it'll wear on me too much, however it is certainly possible. I will definitely get the itch to date again, however it will just devolve into the same cycle of shiit where I meet a cute girl and she's still talking to an ex, has a kid, is taking part time classes in her mid twenties, has a job which pays close to min. wage that she works at for 20 hours a week, etc. It's usually one of those things so instead of forcing it, I'm just going to accept it and move on with my life.

I wouldn't call it running away from biological instincts. There is no biological instinct that drives us to marry. All it drives us to do is procreate. That release can be handled quite easily. Will you have to lower your standards? Yep! And that's not fun at all. So you can ignore it and just wait for the right situation like I do.

Why does noticing women frustrate you? I notice women every day. I look at 'em, usually identify something I like about 'em, and go about my business.