That analogy is flawed.

No she said it is a good thing because a girl can teach and train you, show you what she enjoys the best. It sounded really good but atm she is not down. Maybe one day though who knows.

Hooters waitress was cool, she was nice but she was a petite girl with a push up. She reminded me of someone I use to know. Idk what to say about the CEO thing, if I got a number just to hang out I could have met a few of her friends to which would expand my circle, help me aquire more social skills and increase my chances.

You're unbanned?

Yeah man! The main event is back in town. I hope everything is going well with you.

OK bad analogy. How about expecting to be the star of a film when you just graduated acting school.

In other words, a Hooters waitress isn't what I would think would be someone to make a virgin comfortable.

***********************

This period of withdrawal from the constant texting SUCKS. I know it will get easier after a few weeks. I just hate that I get sucked back in to the constant texting 20-50 times a day with a guy, so that when I make it stop and block everyone, then my brain keeps looking "where is the text, where is the hit". Drives me crazy. I just keep telling myself that withdrawal sucks living hell the first week, then gets better.

The answer is simple, put yourself outside your comfort zone. You will tingle with amazing sensations, srs. Tell yourself, today is the day I am going to do it and don't back out regardless of how much you want to. You need to start somewhere and this is the only way, by doing it. You will repeat this a couple times and then realize it ain't so bad and should be on your way.Terrible approach, stop asking. Just go with the flow and DO it. That is how you will learn. It dries her up to know she has to teach you. Start reading (I learned alot of what I know by taking the time to read) and even pay for it a few times since you are so stuck in your own head.

You are one poster who just seems like such a weak person. Wahhh I'm tired, not feeling good, etc. You sound 90 years old. Stop being a bish, toughen up and be a man bro.

Her theory is that I have been missing on on female friendships, and she is right. So many women are busy being Moms that I feel bad to reach out and offer to do something. An interested man replies back right away because it's limerence too. But it's temporary and always ends as quickly as it starts.

If the woman is busy or tells me she'll get back to me tomorrow, I feel sad.

So my homework is to reach out to certain women and ask to do activities (healthy women, not the ones who post a million selfies on social media and have drama).

She also wants me to build self-esteem so that I don't get too clingy and needy when I actually am single.

I fear that because I know myself, and know that my relationships with men are usually very unhealthy, with me either being obsessed and men tell me I over text them. I tell them that their constant texts keep dieting when I'm stressed at work. She doesn't want me to rely on an external person, plus I shouldn't be dieting anyways.

Like this guy at the gym we have a history of 4 years now, back when he played college basketball and I played tennis at the same college his coach did. So he said it was cool that I understood what it was like to play a college sport, to travel and dedicate that much time to your sport while keeping up with your studies.

When I block him on my phone, he tells me that he completely panics, then he creates a female account on ******** to write me.

I feel bad blocking him there because that looks so bad. I haven't gone to that level of creating a man's account to add a guy who blocked me, but I can imagine the pain and desperation he must feel. And I feel terrible causing it.

His Dad sees me at the club and I can see the mad stare. He has told me that his parents don't like me at all, thinks he needs to find a girl his age (he's 25). So I blocked him again last week at therapist's urging, and of course he wrote with that female ******** account. It's not healthy for him or for me so he said I have to be the strong one and resist him.

She said if I resist the urges to communicate, it will build my self esteem and that we are learning emotion regulation in group.

Emotions like (I cannot block him, he will feel abandoned like I do when someone blocks me) are just waves that feel like I can't control them, but they do pass with intensity if I ride it out and stay strong. I tell myself that there is no way this would be future relationship because his parents are stronger than me and they won't allow it.

Plus I know he wants a family, and I'm done with that part of my life, nor do I want to be a parent again. I have to keep thinking of the logic and not the emotions of why would I block a man who is so good looking, that I feel bad creating pain for him, etc. but he has to move on from me because all I will create for him is grief and pain, and it hurts him, his parents and me. Just pull back to wise mind and check the facts, don't make decisions based on emotion but bring more logic into my decision making.

Because I know if he wasn't attractive, I would have blocked him years ago and not even thought twice.

It's nice to know that I CAN control my emotions because they feel so overwhelming and out of control at times!

Update:

Chatting up 3 new women. They all msgd me first.

Lunch date with one tomorrow. She's 41, but I'm kind of in "**** it" mode.

Another is 37 and we pretty much grew up together, went to the same schools, but she was one year behind me, so our paths never really crossed.

Another is 32, smokin hot, former fitness competitor, but she is just recently divorced and just testing the waters, and lives about 60 miles away.

Lol subtle brag spotted. Why do you feel the need to say that they all messaged you first? I'm legitimately curious.

Not bragging. If you kept up you'd know that I've lost motivation. I was just pointing out that I wasn't out looking for it.

Narcissim at its finest. That's why we clash.

Narcissists and BPD/HPDs are attracted to one another, but they fight like cats and dogs

Whatever you say dude. Doesn't sound to me like you have lost motivation or that you aren't "looking for it" because you are going out on a date with one of them.

What do you mean by "**** it mode?"

Gotcha, good mindset, low expectations.

However, there must be some interest because you are taking the time to go out on a date with her. Unless you just see her as a potential friend and not as a potential partner.

I don't care either way. I never pass up an opportunity, though, because you never know what could happen.

Good point. If wonder if I have low test cause of the amount of potential opportunities that I have passed up due to laziness and apathy. I'm gonna get my T-levels checked soon anyway.

It's not from low test.

So, what could it be doc? Enlighten me.

That is vile and disgusting. How dare you even say such a thing.

No wonder you have trouble keeping women, as you have zero Empathy.

UNLIKE MANY ON THIS FORUM I GET PROFESSIONAL HELP. Even more so lately going to weekly DBT group and individual therapy. I feel like it's a 2nd job.

So go stick it where the sun don't shine.

You need serious pharmaceutical assistance as well as a lobotomy. You are fully cooked out of your mind.

Any empathy I had for you turned to pity a long, long time ago.

All you do is pay someone to talk to, the only person that can help you, is you.

If you can't help yourself, then you need to check yourself into a program that forces you to. IE: mental facility and drugs.

Pondus you did not just imply you want to put d in her mouth.. please clarify.

I did not just imply I wanted to put my d in her mouth...

you on the other hand....

Relax white knight, you already are in contact with like 8 women, that not enough for ya? Oh wait that's right, you never "pass up on an opportunity."

To each his own.

I sense jealousy.

Ur senses are wrong here.

I would rather stay a virgin for life than spend one day in your shoes.

Cheeky, what inspired your avis pose?


And pondus, smooth, I can be T25.

It just came to me, I am a visionary. Did the movie Hairspray inspire your hairstyle? You trying to go for the Amanda Bynes' look?

Dude is a complete fruit loop if he thinks that a woman with a very high stressful, tech job that most people would love to have, needs to go into an institution.

NEWSFLASH: You probably are a huge fan of Ronald Reagan, and he got rid of the mental institutions years ago in CA. No one goes into those places except ones who commit crimes like murders and are placed into institutions.

Not even the thousands of people on mental health disability go into institutions. People with schizophrenia, severe bipolar disorder. I have NEVER been on mental health disability. I have ALWAYS worked in a technology for over 20 years!! I started working in advertising for Apple in 1993 and my career grew from there.

I do something that Pondus can't comprehend or fathom during the day because he's always on here: I WORK! I'm too busy to post during work hours.

Meanwhile this nutball posts all day about dumb Tinder broads while he's on the company clock.

I rest my case.

Let's quote an ad campaign I worked on in 1997:

"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status-quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify, or vilify them. But the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."



Some may say crazy, I prefer to be called: genius.