So my fiance of 8 years and mother of my child split and one big issue was no sex in the relationship. At all, like ever. Several instances of 6+ months no sex. Highest we ever had sex was once a month for a year which was her trying. No blame on her it's a two way street but a lot of negative feelings about myself and resentment to her. We're still friends and get along well but I'm sort've in the tinder game atm. Problem is I was 130+kg because of low self-esteem. Back down to 94kg, aiming 85kg then bulking back up.

Problem is, at this point, only likes I get are girls I would never date. I am torn between taking the opportunities given to me due to years of getting nothing and just waiting until I get more dialed in and can likely get better girls. I feel like the answer is to wait a bit longer, but also having had such long dry spells I am just pent up. I don't want to regret getting with girls I don't like, but also regret not taking opportunities. Before my last gf I was 96kg lean and rejected a lot girls in hindsight I wish I hadn't. Answer is probably wait, and maybe just try and find one girl that is half-decent and just fwb her as I level up and recover my appearance and focus career, but I guess just trying to get some thoughts from others.

Also is this board alive still? I heard in my garage guy bought it and gutted it.

People usually state what they're looking for on their profile so if it's someone you'd never date and they're looking for long-term/serious then don't waste their time.

Otherwise you're doing nothing wrong by engaging in something casual/short-term.

But ya if you have a kid, career, social life, and you lift then it doesn't leave a ton of time for dating so don't let it affect the more important things in your life.

Just find something on there to tag in the short term

Doesn't matter how aesthetically pleasing they are if youre not parading them around in public - so long as they don't smell and you can get treatment for any diseases they may give you, they're just practise for the big game

Cheers boys for the advice. I think I'll just hone in on one that's semi-decent and make the most of it.

I definitely need to make the most of it. I sense my ex will want to get back together in the future and since I want more kids I'll probably fall for it. That means a dead sex life some day on the horizon so I've got to make hay while the sun is shining.

Lol this seems like a much bigger problem than how to approach Tinder.

You think you'll just "get it out of your system?"

If anything it'll probably make you desire it more and make you realize how important it is to be connected to your partner in that way.

You're right on both fronts. We've gone around this bush so many times that I've made it clear if we get back together it would only be if I have sex on the table somewhere. As long as I'm transparent about what I need beforehand then it's a much more navigable problem if we did get back together. I would obviously want my kids to have a complete family, but I need a stress release and if she's not willing to provide it to me I've made it clear I would get it elsewhere. I know it's not picture-perfect or ideal, but we both have to be realistic. We like each others company but there is no spark. It could be a ****show but I'd probably take it to have another kid thats in the same family with my son then start over somewhere else. But yeah, a disaster zone in some respects.

To each their own.
Does she have any sexual desires or nah?
Did she gain weight or go on anti-depressants in the last few years?

Went through something similar years ago.

Your situation may be different, this is how mine went.

We split and she had no problem dating and sleeping with other people.

Pretty much i had to accept that she wasnt attracted to me sexually.

Hard pill to swallow at first with all of the work i was putting into the relationship trying to make it work.

Thinking back, i would have ended it as soon as any sexual problems started.

Also, I used this on two chicks a few nights back - would have mentioned sooner but I was banned :rollyes:

"You look like the kind of girl whose mother used to warn her about guys like me" - one blocked me, the other asked me what the warnings were about - I said something about how her mother wants me too and somehow that resulted in a conversation that led to number exchange; going out on Friday for a drink with her

Hope she brings the mother

Tinder is all about facial aesthetics, guys like Thom strijd can take a pic of them committing a murder and get 99 likes in 1 hour