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Forum » More General Categories » Misc. » Dating/hook-up apps are toxic
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Thread: Dating/hook-up apps are toxic

post 1598825441 03-01-2020, 02:42 PM
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Dating/hook-up apps are toxic

My baby brother came in to town and last night took me as his +1 to the wedding celebration of a college friend. The couple eloped so instead of a formal reception they rented out a biergarten downtown, served bbq, hired a great band, there were firepits, bourbon & cigars - a perfect party for their majority single early 20s/late 30s friends.

I was prepared to write a huge post offering my female perspective on what I witnessed as my brother and his buddies, all attractive, professional, reasonably charming guys, attempted to engage with various single women.

Instead I have decided to apologize for the silent judgements I have made regarding some of you. I can’t imagine being single in today’s superficial, detached dating environment driven by these toxic apps. They are destroying real world connections and romantic opportunities and y’all are just doing the best you can given the circumstances.
post 1598826561 03-01-2020, 02:58 PM
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care to elaborate?
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post 1598826841 03-01-2020, 03:03 PM
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First of all, what is the link to your spoon pics?

B. No one wants your pity or gives a chit about your judgements.

That is all.
“The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.“

PS: Don't eat poop, just don't let the idea of it stop you from living life to its fullest.
post 1598826851 03-01-2020, 03:03 PM
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There are no such things as "dating" apps. They are all hook up apps. Ya need to accept the difference.
post 1598827681 03-01-2020, 03:15 PM
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Originally Posted By LtGoose⏩
There are no such things as "dating" apps. They are all hook up apps. Ya need to accept the difference.
Fuk man, I met a chick on bumble last week, we went to dinner. Tonight she offered to make me dinner, so I guess I'm getting laid.

I thought we would start dating after this, but I guess I'm just going to hook up.

oh well
post 1598828131 03-01-2020, 03:22 PM
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Originally Posted By Phenmo93⏩
care to elaborate?
These guys are theoretically exactly what single women say they’re looking for but when approached in real life they are distracted & vapid. I saw so many young women habitually checking their phones, taking selfies, & I actually saw two swiping on apps while surrounded by plenty of decent, eligible men! It was ridiculous.
post 1598828221 03-01-2020, 03:24 PM
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Originally Posted By freyja15⏩
These guys are theoretically exactly what single women say they’re looking for but when approached in real life they are distracted & vapid. I saw so many young women habitually checking their phones, taking selfies, & I actually saw two swiping on apps while surrounded by plenty of decent, eligible men! It was ridiculous.
yep fuking ridiculous clown world. Hate people anymore
post 1598828461 03-01-2020, 03:27 PM
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Originally Posted By freyja15⏩
These guys are theoretically exactly what single women say they’re looking for but when approached in real life they are distracted & vapid. I saw so many young women habitually checking their phones, taking selfies, & I actually saw two swiping on apps while surrounded by plenty of decent, eligible men! It was ridiculous.
The average woman is just a reflection of society. Society is sick, primarily due to media influences and technology driven cultural decline. The women are by and large on serotonin pills just to cope with what is perhaps the easiest life that anyone has ever lived, so obviously it's not working out too well for them either.

My immigrant friends have way better lives than the average American it seems to me. They have close knit family structures, they have friends they actually care about, a cultural identity that hasn't been destroyed, shared experiences on the regular that they still value. Fuk, even the Islamic dudes I know have a way healthier cultural identity than mainstream Americans, and I used to harbor a lot of animosity towards their worldview.
post 1598828571 03-01-2020, 03:29 PM
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Originally Posted By freyja15⏩
These guys are theoretically exactly what single women say they’re looking for but when approached in real life they are distracted & vapid. I saw so many young women habitually checking their phones, taking selfies, & I actually saw two swiping on apps while surrounded by plenty of decent, eligible men! It was ridiculous.
And you simply made a post about it online. Man, you are so much better than most people
“The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.“

PS: Don't eat poop, just don't let the idea of it stop you from living life to its fullest.
post 1598828721 03-01-2020, 03:32 PM
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Originally Posted By freyja15⏩
These guys are theoretically exactly what single women say they’re looking for but when approached in real life they are distracted & vapid. I saw so many young women habitually checking their phones, taking selfies, & I actually saw two swiping on apps while surrounded by plenty of decent, eligible men! It was ridiculous.
maybe its true that these men are "what theyre looking for", but maybe theyre not looking for them that night. i find that a lot of girls dont settle down until they hit the wall, and then high quality men dont want them, or dont want to start a relationship with them that late in life.
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post 1598828941 03-01-2020, 03:36 PM
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You know what the funniest part is?

Women end up miserable themselves,

so much selection, so many options but many end up single in their late 20's holding out for the "Chad", extremely high ego, Extremely high standards - having hooked up with so many in their 20's, expecting the best and feeling entitled to the best only to end up single or in a bad marriage (Settling).


And what to women offer us? Love, companionship, sex?

And what do we give them? Our time, resources, attention, money, etc with the risk of a divorce, losing assets, children , broken heart and sanity.



Sad society we live in boys.
post 1598829111 03-01-2020, 03:39 PM
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Originally Posted By freyja15⏩
I was prepared to write a huge post offering my female perspective on what I witnessed
Yeah you could have made a good thread instead you leave us wondering wtf is this about
post 1598829201 03-01-2020, 03:40 PM
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so basically OP is mad her little brother has hot single male friends and none of them tried to hit on her?

Got it.
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post 1598829541 03-01-2020, 03:47 PM
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Saw username
Saw post count
Read 1 line

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post 1598830011 03-01-2020, 03:57 PM
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Originally Posted By freyja15⏩
My baby brother came in to town and last night took me as his +1 to the wedding celebration of a college friend. The couple eloped so instead of a formal reception they rented out a biergarten downtown, served bbq, hired a great band, there were firepits, bourbon & cigars - a perfect party for their majority single early 20s/late 30s friends.

I was prepared to write a huge post offering my female perspective on what I witnessed as my brother and his buddies, all attractive, professional, reasonably charming guys, attempted to engage with various single women.

Instead I have decided to apologize for the silent judgements I have made regarding some of you. I can’t imagine being single in today’s superficial, detached dating environment driven by these toxic apps. They are destroying real world connections and romantic opportunities and y’all are just doing the best you can given the circumstances.
Absolutely true except it's past tense. It's destroyed.
~ In a world where you can be anything, be kind ~
post 1598830211 03-01-2020, 04:00 PM
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Dating apps only suck if you’re an ugly loser
post 1598831101 03-01-2020, 04:20 PM
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Originally Posted By meanstringbean⏩
Dating apps only suck if you’re an ugly loser
No, they suck if you actually want to date and find a relationship. If all you want is sex they're great.
~ In a world where you can be anything, be kind ~
post 1598831141 03-01-2020, 04:21 PM
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Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
Absolutely true except it's past tense. It's destroyed.
I disagree. I think dating apps are just as much "real world" connections as meeting someone at a wedding. It's not the "real world" middle aged and elderly people are used to, but it is the "real world" young adults are used to, and its spawning a LOT of the % of very successful relationships and marriages.

Just because its not the way older people did it and its a new concept doesnt mean it is worse, in fact, I think online dating has TONS more advantages over happenstance proximity meetings.

Online dating you are picking from a wide mix of people not constrained to relative proximity and timing, you get to TALK to the person after gauging initial attraction before having to go invest on a date with them, and you STILL have to go meet up with them in person, it just offers a better selection process of that in person meetup.
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post 1598831261 03-01-2020, 04:24 PM
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Originally Posted By Jestbrah⏩
I disagree. I think dating apps are just as much "real world" connections as meeting someone at a wedding. It's not the "real world" middle aged and elderly people are used to, but it is the "real world" young adults are used to,and its spawning a LOT of the % of very successful relationships and marriages.

Just because its not the way older people did it and its a new concept doesnt mean it is worse, in fact, I think online dating has TONS more advantages over happenstance proximity meetings.

Online dating you are picking from a wide mix of people not constrained to relative proximity and timing, you get to TALK to the person after gauging initial attraction before having to go invest on a date with them, and you STILL have to go meet up with them in person, it just offers a better selection process of that in person meetup.
Yes it's good for meeting people without a doubt but the instant gratification and ease to meet new people means that most people won't be happy or will get very bored being in a relationship - for both men and women - probably women more so because of how easy it is for them to get something new and shiny and better than what they have.

Also aren't divorce rates on the rise? and more people are single than in past generations?
post 1598831281 03-01-2020, 04:25 PM
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Two apps I would never delete are bumble and dominos.

Order from both, hot and ready to my place within an hour. Both have great menus and plenty of variety.

The dominos app drains my bank account more and usually I don’t feel great the next morning after using either.
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post 1598832041 03-01-2020, 04:41 PM
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Originally Posted By Jestbrah⏩
I disagree. I think dating apps are just as much "real world" connections as meeting someone at a wedding. It's not the "real world" middle aged and elderly people are used to, but it is the "real world" young adults are used to, and its spawning a LOT of the % of very successful relationships and marriages.

Just because its not the way older people did it and its a new concept doesnt mean it is worse, in fact, I think online dating has TONS more advantages over happenstance proximity meetings.

Online dating you are picking from a wide mix of people not constrained to relative proximity and timing, you get to TALK to the person after gauging initial attraction before having to go invest on a date with them, and you STILL have to go meet up with them in person, it just offers a better selection process of that in person meetup.
This is only true from a female perspective, and Chads' perspective.

Most men, by definition, are average or below average in looks. Those men are a 'no' when it comes to online dating. And when they run into these tinder chicks irl, they will still be a no.

As a cold approach og, it's funny see how things have flipped. Women used to be much more receptive if you tried to strike up a conversation irl, and found it weird/creepy if a guy was into online dating. Now it's the opposite.
Never take it personal, even when it is.

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post 1598832051 03-01-2020, 04:41 PM
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Originally Posted By sandman2019⏩
Yes it's good for meeting people without a doubt but the instant gratification and ease to meet new people means that most people won't be happy or will get very bored being in a relationship - for both men and women - probably women more so because of how easy it is for them to get something new and shiny and better than what they have.

Also aren't divorce rates on the rise? and more people are single than in past generations?
theres many many reasons for that, the highest one being womens ability to live independently now. In the 70s and before it was MUCH harder and there were WAAAAAYYYY more negatives for a woman to leave her husband.
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post 1598832091 03-01-2020, 04:42 PM
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Originally Posted By Imaneya⏩
This is only true from a female perspective, and Chads' perspective.

Most men, by definition, are average or below average in looks. Those men are a 'no' when it comes to online dating. And when they run into these tinder chicks irl, they will still be a no.

As a cold approach og, it's funny see how things have flipped. Women used to be much more receptive if you tried to strike up a conversation irl, and found it weird/creepy if a guy was into online dating. Now it's the opposite.
i dont think men are a no because they are on online dating, i think men on online dating find themselves in a "no" situation because they shoot higher in looks in online dating than they do in person.
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post 1598832481 03-01-2020, 04:50 PM
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Originally Posted By meanstringbean⏩
Dating apps only suck if you’re an ugly loser
Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
No, they suck if you actually want to date and find a relationship. If all you want is sex they're great.
Both of these are true
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post 1598832891 03-01-2020, 04:58 PM
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Originally Posted By Jestbrah⏩
i dont think men are a no because they are on online dating, i think men on online dating find themselves in a "no" situation because they shoot higher in looks in online dating than they do in person.
An average looking guy who has never tried online dating is still likely to get a no from a tinder girl irl. She has no reason to give him a shot when she has 50 matches from Chads/Tyrones waiting for her on her phone (regardless of her own looks level).

There is an increasing number of tinder girls, and to them there's nothing worse than romantically engaging with a sub 7/10 male. For a lot of these guys, they either have to settle for 3/10 looks women or don't bother.
Never take it personal, even when it is.

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post 1598833171 03-01-2020, 05:06 PM
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yeah no sht, also a cesspool of stds and self-loathing yaaaaaaaaay
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post 1598833421 03-01-2020, 05:10 PM
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At the end of the day,
i've met a tonne of women from tinder

and EVERY SINGLE one of them, had some issue. I'm not after the perfect girl nor have high standards BUT every single one of them had some major issue

- come from broken family/poverty
- uneducated
- high sexual partner count (very obvious)
- mental issues
- drinks/drugs/smokes

etc etc

every single one
post 1598834261 03-01-2020, 05:27 PM
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Originally Posted By sandman2019⏩
At the end of the day,
i've met a tonne of women from tinder

and EVERY SINGLE one of them, had some issue. I'm not after the perfect girl nor have high standards BUT every single one of them had some major issue

- come from broken family/poverty
- uneducated
- high sexual partner count (very obvious)
- mental issues
- drinks/drugs/smokes

etc etc

every single one
your number 1 and 3 are your own problem, those dont mean anything for who a person actually is and how good of a partner they can be. That just your personal preference.

One of the most loving, loyal, professional successful, gorgeous and intereting females I have dated had a high slay count and told me she got spit roasted by twins before. That past had 0 carryover into our relationship or the person she was other than she had a healthy sex drive and let me do whatever I wanted in the bedroom with her.
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post 1598834381 03-01-2020, 05:29 PM
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Originally Posted By Jestbrah⏩
I disagree. I think dating apps are just as much "real world" connections as meeting someone at a wedding. It's not the "real world" middle aged and elderly people are used to, but it is the "real world" young adults are used to,and its spawning a LOT of the % of very successful relationships and marriages.

Just because its not the way older people did it and its a new concept doesnt mean it is worse, in fact, I think online dating has TONS more advantages over happenstance proximity meetings.

Online dating you are picking from a wide mix of people not constrained to relative proximity and timing, you get to TALK to the person after gauging initial attraction before having to go invest on a date with them, and you STILL have to go meet up with them in person, it just offers a better selection process of that in person meetup.
To the bolded, I disagree that it's spawning successful relationships and marriages. How many people do you know that met online and are still married 5-10 years later? Just because people get married doesn't mean it's a successful marriage. A successful marriage is only one that lasts long term and ends in one person dying. Even then it may not necessarily be successful as online dating sites are fill with married people looking to cheat.

Also, what's the point of conversing with someone who's not in close proximity? You're most likely not going to be having a relationship with someone who lives across the country or out of the country. I had guys messaging me on online dating sites from Europe. WTF?
Originally Posted By Jestbrah⏩
theres many many reasons for that, the highest one being womens ability to live independently now. In the 70s and before it was MUCH harder and there were WAAAAAYYYY more negatives for a woman to leave her husband.
Nope. Women were independent in the 80's and 90's and most people got married.
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post 1598834871 03-01-2020, 05:38 PM
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Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
To the bolded, I disagree that it's spawning successful relationships and marriages. How many people do you know that met online and are still married 5-10 years later? Just because people get married doesn't mean it's a successful marriage. A successful marriage is only one that lasts long term and ends in one person dying. Even then it may not necessarily be successful as online dating sites are fill with married people looking to cheat.

Also, what's the point of conversing with someone who's not in close proximity? You're most likely not going to be having a relationship with someone who lives across the country or out of the country. I had guys messaging me on online dating sites from Europe. WTF?



Nope. Women were independent in the 80's and 90's and most people got married.
wait what? my response is to why divorce was on the rise, not why women got married in the 80s or 90s... reasons people got married VS divorced is two different things completely. The reason DIVORCE rose so rapidly is women became able to more easily provide for themselves and their children and were no longer demonized for leaving their husband.


When i said proximity i mean only meeting people you physically see and can touch at that time, and on dating apps i still mean within reason (say 60 miles). Theres a big difference in all single women within a 60 mile radius on an app VS the single women in your age range whom you are attracted to that you come in contact with in your day to day life Proximity.
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