Hi guys. I had a distressing incident the other day and I'm wondering if anyone can help me. The first thing I have to say is that I'm totally new to this world of bodybuilding. The second thing is that I'm serious here so please don't nobody laugh at my situation. We all have to start somewheres, right? Ok, here it is. I'm 5' 8" and weigh 114 pounds. I know I'm extremely skinny for a guy but for reasons I'll explain I'd like to keep my body the way it is while getting at least a little bit stronger. There's no easy way to say the next bit so I'll come right out with it, ok. I'm a transvestite and I spend at least a couple of nights a week and usually the whole weekend dressed as a woman. I'm not on here to talk about that and I only mention it to explain why I don't actually want to put on any body mass, especially on my arms as I like wearing sleeveless dresses and I can't stand the idea of having big muscular arms. It's such a terrible look for starters. I suppose it's fair to say that I haven't done any exercise on my arms since I was about 11 when I started to realise how important being able to look like a girl was going to be. As you can imagine my dad gave me ten shades of hell until he finally gave up on me. My mom was sympathetic but would get mad when I wouldn't lift any heavy shopping bags (Cheerios and other light stuff, no problem). So, I guess it's fair to say that I consciously avoided using my arms for much of anything besides typing so I could keep them slender and feminine looking. Before you start jumping to any conclusions can I just say I most certainly am not gay. I'm totally into girls and I hope one day to meet one who'll accept me for the person I am. Anyway, to get to my original question. The other weekend I was travelling with my mom on the train to visit her sister and she asked me to put her small overnight bag up on the rack. I got such a shock. When I went to lift it I could barely get it to chest height. I asked what she had in there and she said just her usual stuff. I really couldn't believe it. I lifted it again, this time almost throwing it into the air. Both my arms buckled and I went tumbling backwards. I'd have smashing into the ground except this big quarterback type guy caught both me and the bag. In case you're thinking it, can I just add that I wasn't dressed like a girl at the time. My mom doesn't mind me wearing girl's things round the house or when we go shopping at the mall but when we're travelling or doing other stuff she generally asks that I turn up as a guy. Fair enough. Right. So I hope you're still with me. The trouble was that I felt thoroughly humiliated by the incident. The big guy lifted my mom's bag like it was a packet of popcorn. All the passengers around me were sort of giggling and laughing at me. I realised immediately that something has got to change. So, please, can one of you experienced guys help me out here. What can I do in the gym to keep my body much the way it is and yet get much much stronger? I figure I can't go through life not being able to lift a small bag above my head. I'm sure I will end up in other situations where some arm strength will come in handy. Somebody mentioned something called callisthenics. Would this work for me" I'm well aware some of you guys will be laughing at this post and thinking it's some sort of a joke. I assure you it's not so please someone point me toward the right exercises. Thanks in advance. Wilhema. ps. That is not a girl's name btw. It's Austrian. I'm named after my great grandad, ok.

Just doing a basic weight training routine will result in more strength - most of which will occur without noticeable muscle growth in the first couple of months. This may be enough for your goals (look at Fierce 5 in the sticky threads).

By the way, plenty of women lift weights and (apart from some extreme cases who are probably using drugs), do not look any less feminine.

Thanks for the helpful advice, SP. I guess I'm just worried that, as a guy, I'll start putting noticeable muscles on my arms.

Even for guys who try very hard to do exactly that, it's not easy and will not happen by accident.

geez wall of text... Arms won't normally grow without a lot of isolation. Building a basis of strength and never targeting arms, will get them to grow a bit, but to really increase their size. You have to isolate them, so don't worry.

Just posting to confirm that women lift weights and it doesn’t make us any less feminine

You are not going to get significant musculature without significant training

Your priority should be to become a normal functioning human being

Google fitness women and perhaps change your aesthetic aspiration to that physique instead of wraith ...your long term health and your physical attractiveness as both a man and a women will thank you

probably one of the strangest threads ive come across here

uhhh cliffs?

i read like 1/4 of it but getting big arms doesn't happen by accident.

strength gains will vastly outpace muscle gain initially but at some point if you are looking to get stronger you will need to get bigger, and likely your arms will grow a little bit in that process. But most people don't get optimal development (or big arms unless they have relatively good genetics) unless they do isolation exercises. pick a novice program like stronglifts or something.

Thanks for the advice, Junsuiakai - and apologies for the wall of text. I just wanted to explain myself and not come across as insincere. Great to know I can gain some strength and remain much the same size. Thank you.

Thanks for the wise informative reply, Rabbitjb. I agree with everything you say, especially about health. Your words have really focused my mind on the importance of foregrounding that. Just to be clear, I'm not the transgender type who wants to be a female. I'm 100% male. It's just that I like wearing make up and stuff and looking like a girl.

Thanks for the advice, Sooby. Stronglifts. Is this like something you can organise to do at home or would I need to attend a gym with all the right equipment? I'm a little bit intimidated by the idea of exercising in amongst a group of pros.

poignant

most people dont mind reading a lot, but you have to learn how to use the return / enter key dude :P


Also, as long as you aren't gaining weight (meaning you aren't eating more calories than you need per day) most of your training will be strength gains... you have muscle already that isn't trained / connected to be used... your brain has to lay down those neural paths before much muscle growth can occur... and without a proper bulking diet, it's much more difficult.

Just keep in mind, which hasn't been mentioned, you will look bigger in the gym, when working out... this is called a "pump" and it lasts maybe 30 minutes, so don't freak out your first day

There are also places like Planet Fitness which cater to people who feel intimidated by strong people. But, honestly, strong people don't give a crap how weak you are, and if anything will admire / respect you for being there, not think poorly of you... actually, most people in the gym are just focused on their workout, and won't give you a second glance... unless maybe you show up in leggings and a wig

You don’t need a gym you’d be fine with a decent bodyweight programme and eating sufficient calories and protein to enable cell repair ...I assume you’re underweight or borderline

This is decent beginners programme you can do at home ..

https://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/beg...-build-muscle/

I don't necessarily disagree, but there are many functional benefits to barbell training... IMO everyone should know how to deadlift, because everybody picks something up the wrong way at some time, then has to go to the hospital or be out of work.

Also, something like Overhead Press trains similar motor patterns such as putting luggage overhead.

Pushups and dips and etc will build strength if overloaded properly, but the functional aspects IMO are lacking when every-day strength is concerned.

I work some as a mover, and barbell training has made me much stronger and safer than my old routine of pushups, dips, and machine work ever did.

This is true but I think he has a way to go until he can hit weighted work ..he can’t even lift a weekend bag above his head and says he’s never carried a shopping bag

I think he’s well below normal functional strength just for normal living ..I just think going to the gym right now may be a step too far but it absolutely should be in the future

That’s if this isn’t a troll thread of course
:shrug:

Thanks FluidZ. Points taken and I apologise again fror my overlong post. Please understand that I'm kinda feeling my way here as a newbie, learning the ropes. Gotta give a shout out - this community is really great - everyone has been helpful and sympathetic. The Planet Fitness idea sounds cool. While I'm 100% confident as a girl, understandably I'm pretty nervous as a guy, especially around other guys. Lots of bullying and stuff in the past. The strange thing is that, in my girl mode, guys are usually kind and nice to me - and, believe it, the very first thing I tell anyone I meet is that I'm a guy dressed as a girl. I'm not out to deceive anyone. But as guy, I get lots of hassle. Crazy! As for a wig, I don't need one. I've got lovely long thick supermodel blonde hair. Weekends, I'd probably have to go the gym as a girl as I always have my hair done at the salon early Friday evenings.I suppose the best thing is to check beforehand if the gym would be cool with me as a girl at weekends.

Wow. Thanks Rabbitjb. That's more like it. Some of this I cvan manage I think. Not sure what jumping sacks are though? Is it like the things you use at school for the sack race? Thanks again for taking the time out to reply.

unless you are genetically blessed, your arms won't grow very big, just doing compounds. I only recently started isolating arms because I want to be proportionate and increase overall strength.

Compounds alone didn't do much for arm development for me, even doing dips and chins ups, didn't lead to much growth.

OP is transgender? Why is that even relevant? So confused why you brought that up...

I'm straight, really important and relevant information, op

Did you misread jumping jacks



Also in terms of aesthetic feminine aspiration try channeling more like this rather than waifs ... they are still very slim

http://www.trimmedandtoned.com/wp-co...ter-videos.jpg

http://www.beautifulwomenpedia.com/i...ness-model.jpg

These are good points too.. I did notice that OP was medically underweight, but figured it was probably intentional...

I think given all of the circumstances, perhaps starting out on an at-home routine may be ideal... Can start with the plyometric stuff, and pick up a $30-$40 barbell set from walmart can work on some of the basics like deadlift, or goblet (plate) squats... Could also learn to clean it up for OHP, or get a few DBs.


OP just keep in mind if you do go to a gym, it's always a little daunting even for people who've been going for a while. Just settle in, find your groove *everybody fumbles around learning new equipment*, and ultimately remember nobody really will be paying you much attention... even if you are in the clothes that make you comfortable.

Strength is strenght, and self-improvement is self-improvement... everyone at the gym will respect that, and ignore you completely :P unless they need a "spot" or something



... and no gym will turn you away for being trans (gender or vestite).. .that is kind of federal law.. You can go late at night if you want (pick a 24hr gym) and probably nobody will be there... weekends are usually pretty sparse as well IMO

probably not, unless you buy equipment like a barbell, a bench, a power cage, etc. It's probably more feasible to pay for a monthly gym membership.

But you did receive some solid advice from rabbitjb so i'll leave it at that, perhaps working out with dumbbells is an option better suited for you until you build up your general strength and confidence to the point where you can do barbell movements in the gym. Even a DB program like this may be feasible for you. Just get some bands and adjustable dumbbells.

Hell, honestly you can start with your bodyweight on exercises like split squats, reverse flies, calf raises, lunges, romanian deadlift, abs and curls. For bench, OHP and DB Rows I think you can probably manage starting light with 5 lb dumbbells in each hand. Practice good form and when you're ready to add weight, add weight.

Wow. Many thanks for the links, Rabbitjb. Jen Selter. What an amazing look and presence. Thanks also for clearing up the 'jumping' confusion. Honestly, if you check that Nerd site you'll see that there's a typo. I guess anyone else on there would have spotted that... doh.

Your advice has made the most sense to me. I'm gonna start from Monday working at home. Initially I'll stick to exercises that I can manage. I think if I could do full on exercises and look even remotely like Ms. Selter, I would. As a genetic guy, I do have to be careful due to my gender. Life is full of hard choices but I'd like to keep enjoying my lifestyle and my love of dressing up and living like a girl. Still, I got pretty shaken up by that train incident. It brought home to me just how much I'd let things slide in pursuit of my personal aesthetic. I'm gonna turn this one around.
Lately, I know I must come over as a bit eccentric (tell me about it!) but I'm absolutely not on here to troll. Shame on those losers who do.

I want to comment on the confidence-in-the-gym portion of this thread. My gym is on a military base so there are a lot of jacked males in there, along with intermediate males, beginner males...point being, all sorts, but very few women.

I’m a beginner female doing a Stronglifts 5x5 program I found on this site. I read and watched the online tutorials and spent a couple days practicing my form in a secret room I found at the gym with lots of lightweight bars (less than standard weight dumbells).

Anyhoodles, I ventured into the free weight portion of the gym last week to really start my program, and I was self-conscious, but now after doing my workout for only the third time in there, I feel way more confident. Don’t let intimidation keep you away from the gym! And I recommend the side ponytail to keep your mane from snagging on the bar or creating an uncomfortable lump when you’re laying on the bench.

Junsuiakai - you're right that gender isn't an issue here - which can only be a good thing as far as I'm concerned. As it happens, I'm not a transgender. I'm quite happy being a guy and, even if I spend most of my time dressed as a girl, it doesn't mean I want to become a woman - if that makes sense. The only reason I mentioned my gender was to help explain my original question as I felt, in this one case, it might be useful to give an explanation of why I'd like to get a bit stronger without developing any muscle mass on my arms. It's not simply about vanity either although I do admit to liking the way my arms currently look when I'm in girl mode. I happen to own quite an extensive wardrobe and really can't afford to replace all my costumes. But I've realised I've got to do something urgently to increase my arm stremght so thanks again to everyone for the great and generous advice.
OP is transgender? Why is that even relevant? [/QUOTE]

vVanTine - many thanks for the ponytail suggestion. Funny how guys miss important details like thatAt the moment I tend to do an elaborate chignon when I need to wear my hair up - or if I go jogging with my girly friend (as in friend - not girlfriend) I wear a twist knot headband or scrunchies. Or even a hat if it's cold. Question - do you have any tips for looking after your nails when you're working out? Like my hair, I wear mine fairly long and pay probably too much good money having them shaped and lacquered. I always worry about accidental chipping.