I scoured the internet for plans and couldn't find any. The best I got was pictures/drawings so I'm going to wing it.

TLDR:
Spoiler!

Approximate dimentions are 120mm x 120mm x 400 high, but I always make atleast one mistake in my drawings so it may get bigger/ smaller.

It will have 4 internal levels with an open platform on the top. The bottom level will have a battering ram and the 3/4th level will have a draw bridge to get over castle walls

I will update the thread as the build progresses. I know atleast some of you de-gens like this kind of stuff so I hope you enjoy it


Getting started - I will be using recycled rimu (red pine) for the majority of the build. These boards used to be a kitchen cabinet.




Drilling the holes for the axles and shaping the wheels






Wheels looking rough and ready. 6mm steel rod for the axles




Time to size the boards for the main structure, these are about 10x10




Glueing the main uprights to the bottom floor, the tower will have a slight taper.




I will add cross pieces to make it look more authenic (and help keep it together)




I cut these little mitres by hand on the framing saw




It's starting to look like something




More updates soon, and as usual AMA

Damn

Originally Posted By Thunderpants⏩

I mean I’m going to ask the obvious question which is can this thing be used to gain leverage on a plunger while attempting to unclog a toilet that has been attacked by a HTC lady and the fudgey abomination she extruded after a double chipotle burrito bowl lunch

Lmao, glad you showed up brah.

I am open to suggestions as to what I should put on the end of the battering ram. I was thinking the head of a toy ram, or dinosaur, or something cool.. I guess I could put a plunger on it

Originally Posted By Kiop⏩

start a youtube channel

Im not trying to monetize it or anything and I don't want to be a Youtard. Plus I'm constantly being called away to help my sons drill a hole or something on whatever they are working on, so it wouldn't make great TV

Damn

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Everything can be rated outta 10


Make Misc Great Again Crew - MMGA

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Originally Posted By gwg77⏩

Looking awesome, Jandels! I love your projects and looking forward to updates.

Thanks mate

Originally Posted By CremeFraicheBro⏩

Tower’s lookin thick solid and tight, keep us updated on how thick solid and tight that tower gets.

What kinda wood you using brah! Mirin workshop

Thank you, the wood is Rimu which is a red pine. It's a NZ native tree, the early settlers cut down most of them. It's a reletivly difficult wood to work - it tends to split, has a blunting effect on tools and the dust is irritating to your throat and eyes. But no pain no gain!

Originally Posted By Rem0⏩

This srs, will appeal to multiple audiences and can make you some beer money, don't even have to show your face

Nah, I'm sweet bro.

Originally Posted By BrosefMengele⏩

What? Not a REAL siege tower? I am disappoint.

Lol, NZ is all hills brah, it wouldn't get far.

Originally Posted By bov188⏩

That's fuking sick (srs)

Thanks for sharing.  Here's my gift to you

Mirin hard! Thats awesome

Originally Posted By multiplemiggs⏩

In on epic thread. Always mirin your work brah.

Thanks brah, stay tuned. Hopefully it works out.

Originally Posted By SuperHercules⏩

I can't even draw a straight line with a ruler and this guy casually makes blueprints for a siege tower then starts building it


FML

Lol, it's not that technical really. I try to make plans, but if something doesn't fit I just cut it smaller

Damn

Always close your eyes before you blow.

I got a bit more done this morning.

I glue the wood on baking paper so it doesn't stick to my work bench. Time to scrape it off. I want to remove ALL the glue as its very obvious and ruins the look, I'm not too worried about gouging too far into the wood, any mistakes will be authentic battle damage!




Looks decent standing up, the top platform is in the bottom right.




While the glue dried, I cut down some more lengths, you can see the slight bullnose on these so the finished timber will be slightly uneven - which I think will look more realistic than a perfectly flat surface.




Finished lengths for the siding & floors (middle) the larger stuff on the left will probably be used for the draw bridge. The small pieces on the right will be used somewhere, maybe a flag pole.. nothing will be wasted.

Damn

Would kick em in the nuts

Originally Posted By Antoine99⏩

Wish I was that handy (no homo)

It's never too late to learn new skills brah. I started off small with few tools of my own and made heaps of mistakes. Those bullnose boards above were cut that way by accident - before I had my table saw I would screw my circular saw to the underside of some plywood and clamp other boards down as a fence. Needless to say it wasnt very accurate!

I'm glueing one side of the axles into the undercarrage, so I can still pull it apart to put the wheels in. I'll leave it overnight to make sure the glue is dry before moving it.



Time to think about that battering ram

Damn

***NEUTRAL CREW*** ™

Originally Posted By PermaNoob⏩

This.

Im flattered

Originally Posted By Muscle2021⏩

What kind of a bish ass country still has lockdowns?

New Zealand

Damn

Heres a rough 1:1 scale drawing of the battering ram. I'm not 100% happy with how its hanging, I'll probably end up adding more bracing. I will use a 30mm dia. stick, instead of doweling, so it will look more like a real tree and waxed polyester cord for the rope

Damn

Virtue is its own reward.

Damn

Cobra Kai Crew

srs

For every man, there is a sentence, a string of words, that has the power to destroy him
"The strong do what they can, and the weak suffer what they must" -Thucydides
Shall not be Infringed. FUK CHINA.

Originally Posted By stupid000⏩

That's cool bro. My buddy did something like this but when he was done he ended up building a dog house.

Neat, but does this mean his wife kicked him out?

Originally Posted By AWillis⏩

damn missing out on those easy dollars on youtube

would be getting 100k views per vid

You guys are srs about this youtube stuff huh.

Originally Posted By PepperedAngus⏩

Ram cawk up ass of castles.

Put a dildo on there.

Lol, some of those old fashioned dildos did look like weapons.

Originally Posted By krioro⏩

Neat.gif

Progress update.

This is the stick I will use as the battering ram, it'salmoststraight




Scraping the bark off with the back of the knife




I thought about using the pencil sharpener to make my point, but I went with a knife instead to give it a hand made look. I also got the cross piece supports for the floors sized down. Now we wait for the glue to dry.

Damn

- Be patient and wait for the glue to dry.

All the beams are now glued in, and drying. I've started cuting the siding down to size - see pic. This will cover the east and west sides completely and the back will be open.



The front is more complicated - the bottom level will be mostly clad, except for an opening for the battering ram. The second and third levels will have small windows for archers and the 4th level will have the draw bridge.

Next step will be the battering ram, flooring and internal ladders.

Damn

Originally Posted By stupid000⏩

Damn, dude, looking good. How many hours you put into it now?

Thanks man. Each progress update is probably 2 hours work. I'm stranded on lockdown so I'm not taking any short cuts. If I'm not happy with something now, I won't be happy with it in the future




I've added extra floor supports for the internal ladders and am glueing in the supports for the ram. When using wood glue, it's not enough to just place the piece on top of the glue as it can 'travel'. I try to clamp stuff down as best I can, this is an awkward looking one.

Damn

Those little scrappy offcuts I had came in handy for the ladders




All glued, drying for tomorrow

Damn