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Forum » TIL: Conflict Pairs
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Thread: TIL: Conflict Pairs

post 1687052573 07-23-2023, 02:08 PM
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  1. katya422
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TIL: Conflict Pairs

For those with an interest in MBTI.

Not sure how I never came across this before, or at least never thought much about it, but it seems that each MBTI type has a nemesis- a type with which there are no shared traits for common ground. And marrying your conflicting type...well it could be challenging.
A conflict pair is by nature two personalities who don't share a single ego function, and also have the other person's hero function as their Trickster Function. In my case my wife has Te Trickster, so logic and rationale doesn't govern her world view, and I have Trickster Si (no personal memory) which is what she constructs her sense of self from. Practically speaking, when I make decisions I use logic and rationale, which only lands if it fits her sense of self from memory, which is like trying to shove a cannonball down a sink. Trickster Te in itself isn't world ending, but when no other functions are shared, it's just apples and oranges. There should be a law against unsuspecting conflict pair unions.

In a conflict pair, none of these can be seen, or if they're seen, they're invalidated outright. Your Hero function, the biggest part of you, falls in the worst possible slot for the other: The trickster function.

This promotes an environment of perpetual invalidation, worthlessness, lack of appreciation, or in some cases resentment, anger, and feelings of rejection. Whatever others might see, value, and appreciate about you is not seen, valued, or appreciated with your conflict pair, often quite the opposite, it's typically demeaned, rejected, and invalidated, for both partners.

You can have the greatest intentions and desire to love the other, but you have no (functional) tools to actually do so, keeping the relationship running on the most shallow levels, superficial interactions and formalities. That's not to say you can't exhibit acts of service, physical touch etc. it's saying that when you do there's no deeper intimacy or bond underneath it.
^^^
So maybe avoid that?

The Myers-Briggs® Personality Types who Conflict with Each Other

https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/the...th-each-other/

There are tips at the link for relating to someone who is your conflicting type if it turns out that is something you have to do.























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post 1687052833 07-23-2023, 02:15 PM
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  1. DolphinPilot
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INFP, and it looks like my nemesis is just someone who hates I use my imagination.

Pretty lame nemesis if you ask me
post 1687053143 07-23-2023, 02:23 PM
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  1. katya422
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Originally Posted By DolphinPilot⏩
INFP, and it looks like my nemesis is just someone who hates I use my imagination.

Pretty lame nemesis if you ask me
Do you find that you take on a sort of therapist role with friends and acquaintances? That's supposed to be an INFP thing.
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post 1687053513 07-23-2023, 02:32 PM
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  1. jtaylor2010
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INFJ crew reporting for duty and confirming that ESTJs are a bunch of slack jawed phaggots.
post 1687053523 07-23-2023, 02:32 PM
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  1. DolphinPilot
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Originally Posted By katya422⏩
Do you find that you take on a sort of therapist role with friends and acquaintances? That's supposed to be an INFP thing.
A little bit, yeah. I've had people come to me for advice but I've also overheard others (usually co-workers) going through something and I feel some itch to play therapist for them, as conceited as that sounds. I mean I already have an idea how to fix their problems but I'm just waiting for them to ask me for my opinion.

Now that you mention it psychology and sociology have been things I've taken an interest in especially the last few years. Dissecting human behavior and human interaction; why people do what they do, and learning more about the human experience that way.

Although I think based off what you posted in the OP that might fall under INFJ, so maybe I'm that instead. I dunno.
post 1687054233 07-23-2023, 02:50 PM
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Originally Posted By DolphinPilot⏩
INFP, and it looks like my nemesis is just someone who hates I use my imagination.

Pretty lame nemesis if you ask me
Sup fellow INFP brah
.:MiscMarioBrahs:.
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post 1687054983 07-23-2023, 03:11 PM
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  1. katya422
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Originally Posted By jtaylor2010⏩
INFJ crew reporting for duty and confirming that ESTJs are a bunch of slack jawed phaggots.
Supposed to be one of my better pairings. ENTJ too.
Originally Posted By AvengeMe⏩
Sup fellow INFP brah

Originally Posted By DolphinPilot⏩
A little bit, yeah. I've had people come to me for advice but I've also overheard others (usually co-workers) going through something and I feel some itch to play therapist for them, as conceited as that sounds. I mean I already have an idea how to fix their problems but I'm just waiting for them to ask me for my opinion.

Now that you mention it psychology and sociology have been things I've taken an interest in especially the last few years. Dissecting human behavior and human interaction; why people do what they do, and learning more about the human experience that way.

Although I think based off what you posted in the OP that might fall under INFJ, so maybe I'm that instead. I dunno.
Oh I think it's an INFP thing. My daughter is an INFP. Way clearer on interpersonal stuff and can be a bit of a mother hen type with her friends.
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post 1687060323 07-23-2023, 04:58 PM
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  1. weiss1967
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so, Katya, everything is typed out, cant break away, nailed to the board to be something with a tag attached, eh? Get real. Such level of abstraction is unstable. People live and learn and drift away from their previous them.

What you call "pairing" is forged by living real life and maturing together, going through shared experience.
post 1687070453 07-23-2023, 08:27 PM
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  1. katya422
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Originally Posted By weiss1967⏩
so, Katya, everything is typed out, cant break away, nailed to the board to be something with a tag attached, eh? Get real. Such level of abstraction is unstable.People live and learn and drift away from their previous them.

What you call "pairing" is forged by living real life and maturing together, going through shared experience.
I agree with that. We definitely change with experience, hopefully by improving areas of weakness.

The bit I quoted at the beginning was part of a longer answer and the author doesn't say that it's an impossible thing, just that having such a mis-match in style is very challenging.
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