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Why does the thought of marriage scare me so bad?
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02-03-2026, 09:39 PM
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#1
- edwardhaskell
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Why does the thought of marriage scare me so bad?
You have to be someone's only person forever....they have to be yours. The person has to fulfill multiple roles for possibly 40+ years....your best friend, confidant, give and release all your sexual energy, stay dynamic enough to not get boring, your most trusted financial partner, mother/father for kids, possible caretaker, etc, etc.
That's a lot of pressure on me and a lot of pressure on the other person.
That's a lot of pressure on me and a lot of pressure on the other person.
02-03-2026, 09:42 PM
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#2
- p7nk
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- p7nk
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You could just become a rotter and rot alone or rope. or get cats or dogs and live alone till someone finds you half eaten by your pets. they say cats usually eat your tongue and eye balls first
💋👨🏽🍳🇨🇴
AP4 Crew
02-03-2026, 09:49 PM
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#3
- LargePeter
- Fuck off, Lahey!
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- LargePeter
- Fuck off, Lahey!
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Originally Posted By p7nk⏩
aka GMiscer, ZoomerPsycho, BrosefMengele, AKD....
You could just become a rotter and rot alone or rope. or get cats or dogs and live alone till someone finds you half eaten by your pets. they say cats usually eat your tongue and eye balls first
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02-03-2026, 09:51 PM
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#4
- DonVonDuck
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You're probably terrified of having to perform sexual acts on your wife once she becomes a dusty old hag. The obligation. And watching her looks slowly wither away; knowing there's not a damn thing you can do about it other than stick it out. She'll put on weight, get really lax about personal grooming, start sagging everywhere....it's the inevitable. And you're stuck there, my friend.
R.I.P. Bert
02-03-2026, 09:53 PM
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#5
- edwardhaskell
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Originally Posted By p7nk⏩
Why not just be a glutton for variety knowing everything you have is yours...always being open to flirting with single chicks, nobody demanding or micromanaging your time for things you mostly aren't interested in, no nagging, house decorated how you like it, each day somewhat of mystery, full on erections when having sex albeit not as regular, etc.
You could just become a rotter and rot alone or rope. or get cats or dogs and live alone till someone finds you half eaten by your pets. they say cats usually eat your tongue and eye balls first
I went 4-5 years with 2 women and frankly they got a little ehh after 2-3.
02-03-2026, 10:00 PM
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#6
- edwardhaskell
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Originally Posted By DonVonDuck⏩
most definitely 100% that is a huge fear. being closer to single keeps me in the "grind" for what's behind the next door. it doesn't help that 95% of married dudes i've known were with women that i probably couldn't bust a forceful nut with after 3-4 years and/or the women got into their 40s. it seems like that hard unspoken reality could be behind many dudes having erectile difficulties with age. I mean imagine trying to have sex with the same pucci you've been in 1000s of times even when you're no longer physically attracted to the woman. Perhaps that process in a way makes accepting death a bit easier?
You're probably terrified of having to perform sexual acts on your wife once she becomes a dusty old hag. The obligation. And watching her looks slowly wither away; knowing there's not a damn thing you can do about it other than stick it out. She'll put on weight, get really lax about personal grooming, start sagging everywhere....it's the inevitable. And you're stuck there, my friend.
02-03-2026, 11:56 PM
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#7
02-04-2026, 12:41 AM
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#8
- edwardhaskell
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Originally Posted By ectobruh⏩
even then though...you don't KNOW how someone will be years later. I mean plenty of people could be into staying reasonably fit until whatever age (for women it's mostly not eating too much) and once they get years into a marriage who knows what they'll look like.
This and divorces. Could never put my dink in anyone that doesn't take care of themselves. I only deal with women that hit the gym and have a decent education. You're waisting life if you don't. Srs
I've seen HS cheerleaders blow up and stay that way after the first youngin....like huh...you were prime of your life ~40 months ago. point is - marriage can change people and you never know how people will respond longer term to one that's good or bad or anything between. look at the men who marry at 23-24 and "turn" 40+ only 5 years later. supposedly women claim to be more into personality so perhaps they can handle that better...as a man i have a penis that needs blood flow and a visual trigger has always been part of it....lose that and blood won't flow well...or it'll be half arsed. that will trigger the lingering feeling that something is missing in my life.
02-04-2026, 02:00 AM
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#9
- LargePeter
- Fuck off, Lahey!
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- LargePeter
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So basically you're scared of marriage because your penis may stop working?
Wow
Imagine being a woman trying to get turned on by a skinnyfat swimmer while you consider it to be peak perfomance
Stop for a moment and ask your questions from the womans point of view and how unattractive you will be at the same age
Wow
Imagine being a woman trying to get turned on by a skinnyfat swimmer while you consider it to be peak perfomance
Stop for a moment and ask your questions from the womans point of view and how unattractive you will be at the same age
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02-04-2026, 02:56 AM
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#10
- MoistQueef
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- MoistQueef
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strong everything, and it resonates a bit. all it takes is one mistake boyos. some countries laws are way more brutal than others. white men, you're better off getting a overseas poor wife, keeping her there, and make sure she has her mom and sisters and brother there to keep her pure. srs
Absolutely Queefening... smack out!
02-04-2026, 03:08 AM
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#11
- edwardhaskell
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Originally Posted By LargePeter⏩
I have a top 10% physique for my age that's built for longevity...basically that of your average lower level college swimmer with ~5-10 extra pounds of fat. and it's essentially impossible for me to get fat even eating whatever i want as I always have. 🤷♂️
So basically you're scared of marriage because your penis may stop working?
Wow
Imagine being a woman trying to get turned on by a skinnyfat swimmer while you consider it to be peak perfomance
Stop for a moment and ask your questions from the womans point of view and how unattractive you will be at the same age
Wow
Imagine being a woman trying to get turned on by a skinnyfat swimmer while you consider it to be peak perfomance
Stop for a moment and ask your questions from the womans point of view and how unattractive you will be at the same age
regardless, I was led to believe women have an easier time with not needing as much visual to be sexual turned on by a marriage partner.
02-04-2026, 05:28 AM
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#12
- wasp9166
- straight out da bronx
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- wasp9166
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Its not for everyone
My parents split and I was on the street at 18
I was in an 18 yr rel,she wanted marriage and kids
I told her she was free to go and id understand, she stayed, and in the end, I ended it
Probably various reasons for me ,but I've seen too many guys either miserable or lose everything
I miss her and its been 16 yrs
Basically
I never wanted a day in my life where i was backed into a corner by a woman
Having lived on the street, and busted my ass ,it would get ugly fast if anyone tried taking anything
Granted ,its just money, but there's more to it for some people
Is that smart or selfish?
Depends on the day
Kids are another topic ,you can instill everything in them ,but at a certain point you just have to watch and hope for the best
Seems like a pointless experiment
But if you have kids ,when youre on your death bed ,you'll be richer than me
Its a double edged sword
Nothing in life is without sacrifice
Only you know what will work for you
My parents split and I was on the street at 18
I was in an 18 yr rel,she wanted marriage and kids
I told her she was free to go and id understand, she stayed, and in the end, I ended it
Probably various reasons for me ,but I've seen too many guys either miserable or lose everything
I miss her and its been 16 yrs
Basically
I never wanted a day in my life where i was backed into a corner by a woman
Having lived on the street, and busted my ass ,it would get ugly fast if anyone tried taking anything
Granted ,its just money, but there's more to it for some people
Is that smart or selfish?
Depends on the day
Kids are another topic ,you can instill everything in them ,but at a certain point you just have to watch and hope for the best
Seems like a pointless experiment
But if you have kids ,when youre on your death bed ,you'll be richer than me
Its a double edged sword
Nothing in life is without sacrifice
Only you know what will work for you
02-04-2026, 07:58 AM
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#13
- edwardhaskell
- Join Date: Jan, 2026
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Originally Posted By wasp9166⏩
So many moving parts to life....hard to know one gal will be entertaining 10 years from now...20 years....seems like you just bite the bullet and grit it out because getting married is just what "people do". Perhaps in a capitalistic society there's extra incentive to make people feel this way since the whole process of finding/keeping spouses generates so much money (dates, rings, wedding dresses, honeymoons, etc).
Its not for everyone
My parents split and I was on the street at 18
I was in an 18 yr rel,she wanted marriage and kids
I told her she was free to go and id understand, she stayed, and in the end, I ended it
Probably various reasons for me ,but I've seen too many guys either miserable or lose everything
I miss her and its been 16 yrs
Basically
I never wanted a day in my life where i was backed into a corner by a woman
Having lived on the street, and busted my ass ,it would get ugly fast if anyone tried taking anything
Granted ,its just money, but there's more to it for some people
Is that smart or selfish?
Depends on the day
Kids are another topic ,you can instill everything in them ,but at a certain point you just have to watch and hope for the best
Seems like a pointless experiment
But if you have kids ,when youre on your death bed ,you'll be richer than me
Its a double edged sword
Nothing in life is without sacrifice
Only you know what will work for you
My parents split and I was on the street at 18
I was in an 18 yr rel,she wanted marriage and kids
I told her she was free to go and id understand, she stayed, and in the end, I ended it
Probably various reasons for me ,but I've seen too many guys either miserable or lose everything
I miss her and its been 16 yrs
Basically
I never wanted a day in my life where i was backed into a corner by a woman
Having lived on the street, and busted my ass ,it would get ugly fast if anyone tried taking anything
Granted ,its just money, but there's more to it for some people
Is that smart or selfish?
Depends on the day
Kids are another topic ,you can instill everything in them ,but at a certain point you just have to watch and hope for the best
Seems like a pointless experiment
But if you have kids ,when youre on your death bed ,you'll be richer than me
Its a double edged sword
Nothing in life is without sacrifice
Only you know what will work for you
02-04-2026, 08:50 AM
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#14
- WoofieNugget
- Join Date: Jun 2010
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I thought after my divorce I'd never get married again, and dove straight into a serious manwhore phase. Banged dozens of women, did total degen stuff, was a bull for hotwives, swinger parties, dom/sub, all the stuff.
Turned out I just had to meet the right person to even think about it. When I met my now wife I had three girlfriends and was totally open about how I was, she was down to just be another member of the roster. But then I got to know her and things changed, plus the sex was off the charts good. She had a stable family, good career, no red flags, had only been with a few guys before a 20 year marriage, no kids of her own. Like totally ideal for where I was and wanted to go in life. I don't miss my old life at all because she's awesome and meets all my needs.
I guess the tl:dr is you can definitely find the right person eventually, you just have to be really clear on what you want.
Turned out I just had to meet the right person to even think about it. When I met my now wife I had three girlfriends and was totally open about how I was, she was down to just be another member of the roster. But then I got to know her and things changed, plus the sex was off the charts good. She had a stable family, good career, no red flags, had only been with a few guys before a 20 year marriage, no kids of her own. Like totally ideal for where I was and wanted to go in life. I don't miss my old life at all because she's awesome and meets all my needs.
I guess the tl:dr is you can definitely find the right person eventually, you just have to be really clear on what you want.
02-04-2026, 09:13 AM
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#15
- edwardhaskell
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Originally Posted By WoofieNugget⏩
so how did being married change things? did the act of marrying her instead of just being together send a tingle down your spine?
I thought after my divorce I'd never get married again, and dove straight into a serious manwhore phase. Banged dozens of women, did total degen stuff, was a bull for hotwives, swinger parties, dom/sub, all the stuff.
Turned out I just had to meet the right person to even think about it. When I met my now wife I had three girlfriends and was totally open about how I was, she was down to just be another member of the roster. But then I got to know her and things changed, plus the sex was off the charts good. She had a stable family, good career, no red flags, had only been with a few guys before a 20 year marriage, no kids of her own. Like totally ideal for where I was and wanted to go in life. I don't miss my old life at all because she's awesome and meets all my needs.
I guess the tl:dr is you can definitely find the right person eventually, you just have to be really clear on what you want.
Turned out I just had to meet the right person to even think about it. When I met my now wife I had three girlfriends and was totally open about how I was, she was down to just be another member of the roster. But then I got to know her and things changed, plus the sex was off the charts good. She had a stable family, good career, no red flags, had only been with a few guys before a 20 year marriage, no kids of her own. Like totally ideal for where I was and wanted to go in life. I don't miss my old life at all because she's awesome and meets all my needs.
I guess the tl:dr is you can definitely find the right person eventually, you just have to be really clear on what you want.
i think some people just "have to" be married ultimately and perhaps you are one of those considering you've done it twice so far. i would think 95% of marriages involve people that found "the one"....obviously the one at any given time doesn't necessarily stay the one considering people and relationships change with time. i know some people on their 3rd and 4th marriages...one that was married 3x is still open to finding what I guess you'd call "the one". i think statistically 2nd marriages (and i assume 3rd, 4th, 5th, etc) have a 70+ percent divorce rate.
02-04-2026, 09:37 AM
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#16
- WoofieNugget
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Originally Posted By edwardhaskell⏩
I'm also an oldcel at 51. At some point in your life, marriage makes more sense even from a financial/companion standpoint. Plus I have two kids and they are involved as well. I'd rather they have a dad with a stable, good relationship on at least one side of the coin. We had been dating for five years and lived together for two, so it made sense.
so how did being married change things? did the act of marrying her instead of just being together send a tingle down your spine?
i think some people just "have to" be married ultimately and perhaps you are one of those considering you've done it twice so far. i would think 95% of marriages involve people that found "the one"....obviously the one at any given time doesn't necessarily stay the one considering people and relationships change with time. i know some people on their 3rd and 4th marriages...one that was married 3x is still open to finding what I guess you'd call "the one". i think statistically 2nd marriages (and i assume 3rd, 4th, 5th, etc) have a 70+ percent divorce rate.
i think some people just "have to" be married ultimately and perhaps you are one of those considering you've done it twice so far. i would think 95% of marriages involve people that found "the one"....obviously the one at any given time doesn't necessarily stay the one considering people and relationships change with time. i know some people on their 3rd and 4th marriages...one that was married 3x is still open to finding what I guess you'd call "the one". i think statistically 2nd marriages (and i assume 3rd, 4th, 5th, etc) have a 70+ percent divorce rate.
Again, you have to make sure the person is the right one in many aspects. Values is a big one, lifestyle, sex drive, health, finances, etc.
02-04-2026, 09:49 AM
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#17
- MiscDetective
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It's because you are so vastly superior to everyone on the planet. You have the physique of a college swimmer despite not even trying. You know everything, you're a successful businessman, and you retired in your 20s. You're a God-fearing man with perfect virtue.
To marry someone you have to take them as your equal. But it's obvious from your posting history that you have no equal Eddie. Anyone you settle with would be lucky for the opportunity.
To marry someone you have to take them as your equal. But it's obvious from your posting history that you have no equal Eddie. Anyone you settle with would be lucky for the opportunity.
02-04-2026, 09:52 AM
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#18
- edwardhaskell
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Originally Posted By WoofieNugget⏩
yeah i get that people say "make sure they are the right person" but essentially everyone says that and people/relationships aren't static over the course of years or decades. it seems like you essentially have about a 1 in 4 chance that a marriage will be a net positive long term (50% divorce and for probably 25% it's net neutral overall or they become unhappy and stick it out until death). That's a terrifying proposition. Maybe less so if you're both broke/no kids involved.
I'm also an oldcel at 51. At some point in your life, marriage makes more sense even from a financial/companion standpoint. Plus I have two kids and they are involved as well. I'd rather they have a dad with a stable, good relationship on at least one side of the coin. We had been dating for five years and lived together for two, so it made sense.
Again, you have to make sure the person is the right one in many aspects. Values is a big one, lifestyle, sex drive, health, finances, etc.
Again, you have to make sure the person is the right one in many aspects. Values is a big one, lifestyle, sex drive, health, finances, etc.
02-04-2026, 10:23 AM
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#19
02-04-2026, 10:29 AM
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#20
- WoofieNugget
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Originally Posted By edwardhaskell⏩
I'd say the stupid ones are the people who don't learn from the reasons their first marriage didn't work out. There's also a certain amount of self-awareness and responsibility that you should put on yourself, it is rarely just the other person's fault. People also change over time as a natural course of things. It's up to the two people involved to regularly sit down and be real about how they feel and what needs to be adjusted so they can both be happy.
yeah i get that people say "make sure they are the right person" but essentially everyone says that and people/relationships aren't static over the course of years or decades. it seems like you essentially have about a 1 in 4 chance that a marriage will be a net positive long term (50% divorce and for probably 25% it's net neutral overall or they become unhappy and stick it out until death). That's a terrifying proposition. Maybe less so if you're both broke/no kids involved.
02-04-2026, 10:32 AM
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#21
- edwardhaskell
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Originally Posted By leoaa777⏩
You're comparing the risk of walking outside to the risk of being married to a modern woman and having it be a net negative or net neutral experience that doesn't enhance your life?
Don’t walk outside because you might die. Don’t be a pussy and dive head first. Let the chips fall where they may.
02-04-2026, 10:33 AM
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#22
There is absolutely no reason to get married.
After going through one divorce all I can tell you is that you'd be better off having a bastard child and hoping you can make it work with the girlfriend. If not you marry her, she divorces you and you're in the same situation except you lose half of your property and pay child support.
After going through one divorce all I can tell you is that you'd be better off having a bastard child and hoping you can make it work with the girlfriend. If not you marry her, she divorces you and you're in the same situation except you lose half of your property and pay child support.
02-04-2026, 10:35 AM
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#23
- edwardhaskell
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Originally Posted By WoofieNugget⏩
i mean you're saying what a therapist would say which isn't wrong, but real life is real life.
I'd say the stupid ones are the people who don't learn from the reasons their first marriage didn't work out. There's also a certain amount of self-awareness and responsibility that you should put on yourself, it is rarely just the other person's fault. People also change over time as a natural course of things. It's up to the two people involved to regularly sit down and be real about how they feel and what needs to be adjusted so they can both be happy.
02-04-2026, 10:35 AM
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#24
- MiscDetective
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Originally Posted By IAMBEE⏩
You'll pay child support either way dude. Having children out of wedlock is normally not a smart move.
There is absolutely no reason to get married.
After going through one divorce all I can tell you is that you'd be better off having a bastard child and hoping you can make it work with the girlfriend. If not you marry her, she divorces you and you're in the same situation except you lose half of your property and pay child support.
After going through one divorce all I can tell you is that you'd be better off having a bastard child and hoping you can make it work with the girlfriend. If not you marry her, she divorces you and you're in the same situation except you lose half of your property and pay child support.
02-04-2026, 11:28 AM
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#25
- ExPatriot
- This is the end...
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- ExPatriot
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Originally Posted By MiscDetective⏩
It's because you are so vastly superior to everyone on the planet. You have the physique of a college swimmer despite not even trying. You know everything, you're a successful businessman, and you retired in your 20s. You're a God-fearing man with perfect virtue.
To marry someone you have to take them as your equal. But it's obvious from your posting history that you have no equal Eddie. Anyone you settle with would be lucky for the opportunity.
To marry someone you have to take them as your equal. But it's obvious from your posting history that you have no equal Eddie. Anyone you settle with would be lucky for the opportunity.
See ShakeBrah's signature
02-04-2026, 11:39 AM
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#26
Originally Posted By MiscDetective⏩
I actually get paid child support from my exwife , sure its only a few $100 a month that I never touch but its still a victory.
You'll pay child support either way dude. Having children out of wedlock is normally not a smart move.
I wouldn’t like the idea of having a bastard child but let's do the math.
Option 1.
Bastard child support per month-$$$
Option 2.
Divorced dad child support per month-$$$ + attorney fees, and loss of half of your personal property.
Option 1 will cost you less financially/emotionally/physically
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