I met Christina Applegate at a party in 1991 when I was 20 at Scott Bratcher’s garage in Grover City, California and told her about my idea for the Riddler in a Batman film. She was impressed and offered me a writing job at her show Married with children, but I asked for a different job writing for a variety show. She said she would introduce me to Jim Carrey from the Fox show In Living Color.

The next day he arrived at Scott’s house, and we hit it off. I came up with the concept of Time Taxi, and wrote the first installment of that series. I signed a contract indicating that I could not ask for autographs or receive gifts from stars. He said I would only get paid for what I had written down, not for stories I wrote verbally.

After a period of time, I started getting paid $700 per week by one of the black actors, then Jim Carrey started paying me. Every time this happened, one of the teenagers hanging out at Scott’s garage would contact the police on another phone located inside the house and say I stole the $700 from them, and the police would believe them. This went on for some time. Every time I got paid, I got robbed by the Grover City police department. After a certain point, it had happened so many times that the police considered the other times priors. It was impossible to convince them that I was the one being robbed. If I didn’t hand over my money, I would get shot.

After a certain period of time, a guy I went to high school with named Preston Scharf organized a gang made up mostly of his cousins, and robbed me every time I got paid on Fridays at my apartment in Arroyo Grande. I lived behind a McDonald’s and got $40 a week for groceries. These robberies went on for three months.

Because of these robberies, I was unable to buy groceries or do laundry. My job with 20th century Fox was in jeopardy. If I couldn’t show up clean and presentable, Jim Carrey wouldn’t take me to Hollywood.

Preston’s gang would come to my door on Thursdays and taunt me. They claimed that they were planning on robbing me the next day. Meanwhile, I was going 6 to 9 days without eating food at all. At 5’-11” I went from 160 pounds to 110 pounds!

One time, after not eating for 2 days, Jim Carrey came and picked me up and took me to the studio where In living color was filmed. I worked and composed skits for the show, but wasn’t paid or fed and Jim Carrey drove me back to my apartment in Arroyo Grande.

He picked me up a week later, and at that point I had gone 9 days without eating. The same thing happened, I went to work at the studio, wasn’t paid or fed, then Jim Carrey drove me home.

The following week, it had be 16 days since I had eaten food. Jim Carrey came to pick me up again, but I insisted that he buy me food. He bought me 20 hamburgers from McDonald’s across the street from my apartment complex, and a quart of chocolate milk. Trying to get him to buy me food was like trying to squeeze blood from a stone. He was very angry that he had to buy me food to get me to work for him, he said I was like a leech.

He was trying to save up $10,000,000 by 1995, so he was obsessed with saving money. During times when I told him not to pay me because the money would just get stolen, he seized that opportunity to avoid paying me entirely. When I was at Scott Bratcher’s garage, there were at least a dozen criminals who wanted to steal my money from me.

One time I asked him to pay me and take me somewhere away from the people at that garage, and he refused to let me enter his car. He acted like I had an urge to ride in his car because he was a celebrity, and that he was annoyed by that. The only reason I wanted a ride was to avoid getting robbed. If he did take me somewhere he made me tell him in advance, in front of the people who were robbing me. One time, I had him take me to McDonald’s, and the police showed up and tried to shoot at us. The kids in Scott’s garage had called them because they over heard Jim Carrey asking me where I wanted him to take me.

At one point he knew that if he offered to pay me to write a comedy skit for the show at Scott Bratcher’s place, that I would tell him to keep the money. Once he saw that as a pattern, he capitalized on it so he could keep the money and not pay me. He did this multiple times, getting free work out of me without paying me. The only reason I refused the money was because I didn't want the thieves to get it.

On one occasion, Jim Carrey drove me to Sacramento to the department of human statistics to get my birth certificate, so I could get a California identification card and a bank account. I was on probation in San Luis Obispo county and I was born in Los Angeles county, so it was difficult to obtain because I wasn't permitted to leave the county. When Jim Carrey took me to Sacramento, I hadn't eaten in 8 days and didn't have any money. He took me to the office 5 minutes before they closed and gave me no money, so I wasn't able to get it. He expected me to have cash on hand. When I told him I had been getting robbed, he thought it was a performance.

I kept getting arrested. I would offer to do chores for people in exchange for money, and when I was done working they would call the police and say that I broke in. When I was in court, they would show up and sue me for $200 and the female judge would grant them that. This kept me in a constant state of poverty. I would go 6 to 9 days without eating, get sued, then have to pay the people who sued me with whatever money I got. If I didn’t pay them all of my money, they would try to shoot me with a gun. Most people in the area where I lived had heard through the grapevine that they could sue me and this female judge was a soft touch and they could file a frivolous lawsuit against me and they would win. People were standing in line to sue me because of this.At one point I was in San Luis Obispo county jail, and a crooked prosecutor had paid a woman to lie about me and claim she saw me robbing people. There were 5 instances that were printed in the newspaper, but the dates of the first three instances were on dates when I was incarcerated. So if I got locked up on September 16th and released on September 21st, they were claiming that I was out robbing people on September 19th. This would’ve been impossible, because I would’ve had to break out of jail, don civilian clothing, commit the crime, then change back into my jail clothing and return to the jail. All 5 dates they claimed I was robbing people were lies. According to the female judge, the prosecutor who did this wasn’t a crook. She said all lawyers lie. The court was eager to convict me because they thought it was a slam dunk that I was guilty. When I tried to explain my situation, they would spit in my face.

At one point, I was having health issues because I hadn’t eaten in so long. I had gone around 16 days without food. I collapsed in San Luis Obispo county court, and couldn’t lift my body, so they kicked me and beat me until I was unconscious and they dragged me out of the courtroom. When I returned to the jail, I still had trouble standing upright, so one of the guards beat me and I fell on the ground unconscious. When I awakened, there was blood in the concrete from a wound on my head.Eventually, I had a friend help me nail the criminals who robbed me. They were caught on videotape planning the robberies. The people working in the courtroom regretted this, because the people robbing me were blondes. One woman even said, "You're like young lions, I feel bad for what he's doing to you!"

Eventually, they were charged and convicted and sent to prison for life. Preston Scharf, the ring leader, got away with his crimes and is still free today.

I ended up quitting working for 20th century Fox. Why work if my money just gets stolen?

Until my mother’s dying day she never believed I worked for the Fox network because I had no money to show for it.The newspaper refused to exonerate me, so there are still police officers in San Luis Obispo county who think I’m guilty of robbing kids.

Wizard

Maybe it would be better in comic book form

Would have been better if it had never been.

Didn’t read a single word srs brah

Kimmy what we baking??





SKeet skeet

How do you pronounce your username?

Nada...I got 2 ham and cheddar hot pockets and a jelly donut for dessert.

Fawk yeah...