May you buy the biggest container of the worst tasting whey protein powder you’ve ever tasted, and you’re too poor to throw it away.

May someone else always grab the barbell you were about to use before you can get it.

May the likelihood of dropping a dumbbell on your phone and cracking it be directly proportionate to the cost of the phone

May someone always start using your equipment when you step away to re-fill your water bottle at the water fountain

May there always be confusion when someone asks how many sets you have left, if you say four sets, they think you mean four reps, and they take over your equipment before you're done

May someone bigger than you ignore you and start using your equipment before you're done with your workout

May a hot chick distract you and give you an erection at inopportune moments, and may the size of your erection be directly proportionate to how many people are watching you

If a piece of equipment is out of order, may it always correspond with whatever muscle group you're working that day

If you're using cable machines, may the cables break just before you reached a PR!

If you only have an hour to squeeze a work out in, may all the benches in your gym be occupied for two hours!

The next time you puke from a strenuous workout, may it be when you're trying to impress a member of the opposite sex!

May your favorite gym towel get accidentally donated to the Goodwill by well-meaning but misguided friends/relatives/girlfriend

If you're doing cardio, may the belt/track of the treadmill break exactly .06 miles before reaching your target distance and stop completely, erasing your workout

On a day when you only have an hour to work out, about five minutes into your workout, may the fire alarm get pulled and nobody is allowed back into the gym for an hour and five minutes until they get clearance from the fire department.

May your gym charge you bank account $45 that you weren't expecting during a month when you have a lot of expenses and can't pay it, like December

May your favorite whey protein company go out of business

May you find an awesome deal on gym equipment/gym membership/supplements but because of some clause in the fine print, you don't qualify, even though 99% of the general population does.

May your credit card or debit card be declined over a misunderstanding that isn't your fault when you're online after finding a one day a year Black Friday deal on supplements. It gets straightened out on that following Monday, but too late for you to get the Black Friday deal.

May there be a holdup in a business in the shopping center where your gym is located, and the standoff lasts for several hours, so you can't work out that day at all because the police have cordoned off the entire area

When the gym is full of 9/10 HBB's you're trying not to notice, may the one whale in the group complain to the management of your gym that she feels uncomfortable because you're "checking her out"

May the odds of the air conditioning at your gym going on the fritz be directly proportionate to how hot a day it is

If someone accidentally breaks a mirror at your gym by being careless with the equipment, may there be multiple people who claim they "saw you do it" even though you're innocent, and your gym management believes them and won't let you work out until you pay for the mirror.

Brb $1,000 mirror that's like 10' by 15' and may the guy responsible be impossible for you to reach him so you can straighten this out. (and may you never learn his real name, so you can't ask people if they know him or how to get a hold of him)

I fixed it

May your gym only sell RTD's that you know are made by a popular company that are known to contain lead, arsenic, and cadmium (toxic metals) because you've researched them online, but nobody who works for the gym cares or does anything about it when you warn them.

May your injuries always outpace your recovery time

May a gym always be out of reach when you have free time to lift, and may there be gyms a plenty whenever you're too busy to work out

If weekends offer the best time for you to schedule a workout, then may you join a fantastic gym that is closed on weekends

If Costco has a killer gym membership deal, may it be to a gym that doesn't have a branch within 50 miles of where you live

May your favorite locker at your gym (#13, or #7, etc.) always be in use by someone else whenever you go there to work out.

May someone always approach you and ask how many sets you have left so it interferes with your concentration, starting with your first set, and a different person approaches you and asks the same question every other set

May someone accidentally drink out of your favorite water bottle

May your personal trainer have breath that smells like shit, and he breathes over your shoulder while he explains how to perform a movement

If you were using bad form on your 12th rep, may a personal trainer who didn't witness your perfect form on your first eleven reps call you out on using bad form and use you as an example to his client of what "not to do"

If you ever take a break in between sets to go take a leak in the gym bathroom, may all the urinals be occupied just long enough so you don't get back to your workout until someone has taken over whatever equipment you were using during your absence

May there be a guy who is always at your gym whenever you're there to work out who blocks the barbell rack while he curls right in front of it, and while you're waiting for him to finish, someone else snags the barbell you were going to use...

May you find a large sum of cash at your gym that is equal to the same amount of cash another gym member reported missing, and you're spotted with the money and blamed for the theft and you get kicked out of your gym

May your favorite personal trainer always be detained by illness or car troubles on the days he is supposed to train you

Can you guys think of more?

Cliffs?

I'm assuming it's something to do with tiny, atrophied, balls.

I think they have implants for that now.

Each curse is a different situation you definitely wouldn’t want to experience, you might wish these on your enemies

Have you and midget undergone some kind of autistic mind fusion or something?

I came up with these on Old Misc a long time ago, I posted them on Newmisc and now I’m posting them here

And in all that time you never thought to add cliffs...

How do I add cliffs to something like this? There are close to 100 curses. You don’t have to read them all, just a few to get the idea

Just put a few very short ones in the cliffs?

No you really didn't

m8 ur nearly 60....

lmao u still takin ur stack boyo

I’m 55

Only 55? ur a spring chicken