Met a girl at a bar and we hit it off. Drank all night and went back to her place. We started smooching and I took her bra off and to my dismay she had a long ass nipple hair.

Still did the deed. Oh god

Banged a fat chick sober.

Meh at 17 a hole was a hole.

sloot asked if she could pee on my face


I was handcuffed to the bed srs



Engaged in watersports against my will



Tried to get blackout drunk in order to forget but it didn't work



Woke up next day smelling like chit, and threw up everywhere, had full memories of the night, cried a bit in the shower

Went camping with 2 buddies and their gf's and a 3rd girl. 3rd girl and I hit it off, she's cute, we end up sharing a tent. We bang, I have whiskey dick, 45 mins later i'm still pumping away and buddies are ragging on me to come out and drink more. pull out, toss condom, zip up, and get drunker.

She gave you the golden shower?

A girl once gave me a BJ while I was laying down and her dog jumped up and started licking her ass

Sure.

Friday had a tinder hookup. Pics were clearly 2+ years old, she was borderline whale status and had abused myspace angles.

Got a room and smashed, felt like a god because I made her cum five times but it was like banging a chubby dwarf.

-be me 2 years ago during the summer
-day drunk in Boston on a Saturday cause that's what we do
-go to bar near Fenway park, all the hbb's go to this bar
-I'm smashed, petite blonde starts offering me shots, we do about 3 or 4
-we decide to leave, take uber to her apartment
-on the way there, finger blasting sugar walls
-finally at her place, I have dat der whiskey dick, tell her to blow me
-she gives the GREATEST blowie ever, suddenly she stops
-blondie throws up EVERYWHERE including my dink and stomach
-I throw up from disgust and booze
-holy fuk the bed is just a puke sponge
-drunkedly grab her shirt and wipe myself off, she's crying and I'm laughing hysterically
-I call an uber outta there, reeking of booze and puke and make my great escape
-uber driver almost kills us driving me home as I recreate the story


good times good times.

Chick took me back to her (parents) house. Mother was a hoarder who moved out, dad was away.

The house was absolutely empty and there was boxes of chit everywhere. They ad like 10 animals, so there was all this chit everywhere.


So we go to the bedroom, messy af, do the deed.. I go to get my clothes and one of her dogs had its period on my pants. Surprised I wasn't murdered in that place.

any girl from fenway is a gross beer hog lol

Dogs don't get periods....

I banged this girl in hs she was hot but she had webbed feet or toes whatever you call them. Could never do it again it was like banging a mutant.

-be me 2 years ago during the summer
-day drunk in Boston on a Saturday cause that's what we do
-go to bar near Fenway park, all the hbb's go to this bar
-I'm smashed, petite blonde starts offering me shots, we do about 3 or 4
-we decide to leave, take uber to her apartment
-on the way there, finger blasting sugar walls
-finally at her place, I have dat der whiskey dick, tell her to blow me
-she gives the GREATEST blowie ever, suddenly she stops
-blondie throws up EVERYWHERE including my dink and stomach
-I throw up from disgust and booze
-holy fuk the bed is just a puke sponge
-drunkedly grab her shirt and wipe myself off, she's crying and I'm laughing hysterically
-I call an uber outta there, reeking of booze and puke and make my great escape
-uber driver almost kills us driving me home as I recreate the story


good times good times.

Red rocket =/= dog period

I'm not local in boston, but maybe an hour out.

girls in boston are hbb's compared to Nh's lol

-met up with girl on halloween
-get hammered at bar for about 3 hours
-go back to her parents (her brother is driving back)
-go up to her room start going at it
-start munhcing box and booty
-bang in numerous positions
-hit from behind and pull out to put in her pooter
-she immediately pulls away in pain as im dying of laughter

-go to sleep
-wake up get a quickie in
-she drives me home about 45 min away
-havent seen since



should go back doe, great sex, box and booty

ugh similar story bruh I feel you






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Black out drunk and go to girls shore house
Start to smash and her friend walks in the room
She goes outside but is crying saying she needs help
Girls goes to help her friend I lay down and end up passing out
Wake up 2 hours later with the girl laying on top of me.... something warm running down my leg
She is peeing on me
Too drunk to comprehend what is going on
Next morning she wakes up and asks why the bed is so wet. I just look at her... she gets up and changes the sheets. She knew what she had done

Age:90 How are your hips holding up from hitting it doggy

I said horrible not awesome

Have had many of them. Everything from gross to exceptional. No ragrets.

use my walker for stabilitytrue! other stories seemed decent imo so i forgot

Girl cries about her nips being mutilated from old piercings. i'm sitting there WTF'ing. She finally calms down.
Gives 10/10 head, doesn't let me finish
Put it in and I minute man it.
She looks at me with the biggest look of disappointment ever
I pass out. Wake up, tell her I owe her one. She shoots me down and leaves.

Lowest point in my sexual career.

This ones more creepy than disgusting.Was going missionary and heard her bedroom door creak and it's her ghey azz brother peaking at us. I was around 19 at the time and he had to be like 35. She yelled at him but he did it like 5 more times

Come on give the nasty

Meet random sloot trolling myspace while in town visiting
She agrees to meet up
She was a 5/10, so as soon as she gets in my car I just say "nice shoes, wanna fuk?" thinking I have nothing to lose lol
She says sure!
Pull over in a dark area
smash in back seat
Go to get dressed
She asks to turn on the overhead light because she can't find her panties
Blood all over my back seat...
"Oops, didn't think that would happen for another day or two..."


At the bar with a bunch of people
See this total smoke show, and decide to make it happen
She calls me out, saying she could drink me under the table... bish please.
After about 8 shots I ask if she wants to bail
She makes some joke about beating me, but says she could beat me again. Beat me again? Yeah, you wouldn't be able to keep up in bed...
We get a ride back to my place, she says she has to go to the bathroom BAD.
I direct her to the bathroom, but she says it's cool, goes into my backyard and fukking pisses out there (bish I clearly marked that back yard as mine...)
I hear a thud, but then she comes in a minute later.
Go up to my room, take off her clothes, and once the panties came off I realized what the thud was...
She fell while taking a piss, she had grass clipping all over her cooter lol.
I am beyond chit faced, and she was a solid 9/10, so I had to do it. Don't even remember if it was good or not.
BUT
Wake up in the morning and I feel wetness all around me. I had a water bed at the time, so I was freaked out that it popped.
I jump out of bed and start looking for a hole.
She slowly rolls over, lifts up the comforter, and says "oh chit, looks like I pissed your bed, sorry. I'll buy you a pizza before I leave."
She packs up her stuff, calls her friend to get her, and on the way out we pass my uncle who was coming over to borrow my edger.
Once she is gone he says "nice walk of shame" and I say "oh she has a LOT more to be ashamed about than that lol"



This is kind of long, and sounds cool at first, but just stay with me for the M Knight twist...

I think I was 21;

At a kick back during winter break
Sloot comes over with a friend
My buddy is trying to get with Sloot
I'm ready to go, chit to do in the morning
Sloot asks if she can come to my place until her ride can pick her up
My buddy shrugs and gives me the go ahead (I literally hadn't spoken one word to her the entire night)
Other buddy is gonna come with, so sloot and her friend come over
We keep drinking at my place, and after a few shots in a few minutes, sloot grabs my hand and shoves it down her pants...
We go upstairs and start going at it. I hadn't kissed her yet, and when I did she tasted like a fukking ash tray...
Once we're ready to go to pound town she says "When you're ready, cum on my tits, I'm not on birth control" and of course I'm not wearing a condom lol
Vag LOOKED beautiful, but it was cavernous AF. Like in all my years I have NEVER experienced anything like that.
Combine her ashtray mouth, no birth control, cavernous vag, and my apparent whiskey dikc, I can barely get a 3/4 chub going.
But I'm a soldier and somehow power through it all
Finally her ride is here, I walk her to the door, she kisses me and puts her number in my pocket and whispers in my ear "Dont call me, just text, don't want my fiance to find out..."
It gets better, find out the next day that sloot is 17 years old and a senior in HS...

meet sloot off of POF (oh lawd)
have her come to my house
making out gives me a blowie and tells me to go down on her before we do the deed
i oblige and make her cum like 4 times (srs)
i try to get ontop to insert pen0r and she stops me gets up puts her pants on says thank you and leaves

i got used just for a girl to get a nut...YES!!!

Jesus fawkin Christ can these sloots not just try and be faithful

I've had some whale experiences which are always terrible, to me the worst are the ones that go stage 5 clinger after just one drunken fumble.

pepper your angus.




-Friend hooks me up with her bf's cousin. texts me and we chat for a few minutes
-Get her snapchat to send me pics and this chick is a total slump buster. 4/10 at best.
-Man up, dont abort mission, tell her to come over.
-having second thoughts when she arrived. has a kardashian ass so i wing it.
-Gives me head first and asked if she wanted me to cum in her mouth. she said no. on her tits.
-Tell her im about to bust, im laying down, she pulls her dick out of my mouth and points it directly up at me.
-Bust huge load on my ****ing face and bed.
-I yell out "what the **** !", get up, run to the bathroom and start the shower. pissed.
-she comes into bathroom to get in the shower with me and tells me shes sorry and will make it up to me
-tells me to pee on her. never in my life....nasty bish.
-so im peeing on her in the shower, all over her face. she opens her mouth and gets some in her mouth and gags
-****ing PUKES all over my tub, my feet, etc. she starts crying.
-gets out the shower, says how sorry she is, gets dressed and leaves. Never heard from her again.
-Friend never found out about it and asked how night went. just told her "we didnt click." and left it at that.