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ยป Self improvement is a massive waste of time
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post 1540904671 01-17-2018, 05:42 AM
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Self improvement is a massive waste of time

Let me explain.

I reached to this conclusion after I read many of these "self-help" books and sites like AOM. I felt like I was productive for the time being. About 30 books in, I realized they ain't worth it. Period. There is a book called 'How to Win Friends and Influence People ' that I read, then applied 0 of the given advices, because the world just doesn't work that way. If you want to improve at something, you do it, not read about doing it. You only improve by leaving your comfort zone, and reading books about it isn't leaving it.

My advices:
- Read up on deliberate practice
- If you feel bad mentally, read Marcus Aurelius's Meditations (or any book from the Stoics) for maximum benefits
- If you have a problem you want to solve, pick one material, and APPLY the stuff - don't start reading seemingly beneficial books/articles/whatever
- Read misc posts by older brahs about their life regrets, and avoid making those mistakes
Never settle
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post 1540904771 01-17-2018, 05:45 AM
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books are not for action, they are for ideas
post 1540904871 01-17-2018, 05:49 AM
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This thread is a waste of my time..
post 1540904891 01-17-2018, 05:49 AM
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Originally Posted By wasp9166
books are not for action, they are for ideas
The right use of books

"Don't just say you have read books. Show that through them you have learned to think better, to be a more discriminating and reflective person. Books are the training weights of the mind. They are very helpful, but would be a bad mistake to suppose that one has made progress simply by having internalized their contents."

If you apply the stuff you learned, good for you. I didn't apply anything, because there was no applicable situation.
Never settle
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post 1540905081 01-17-2018, 05:53 AM
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Originally Posted By Dumika
The right use of books

"Don't just say you have read books. Show that through them you have learned to think better, to be a more discriminating and reflective person. Books are the training weights of the mind. They are very helpful, but would be a bad mistake to suppose that one has made progress simply by having internalized their contents."

If you apply the stuff you learned, good for you. I didn't apply anything, because there was no applicable situation.
you're 22 , get back to this when you're 52

i was applying while you were on the bus stop kid

and i still haven't found the meaning to life , why?

because there is none

just be the best you you can be today

it will be over before you know it
post 1540905111 01-17-2018, 05:53 AM
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Most self-help books are useless. Research had shown that they let the readers reap the emotional reward of accomplishment before even doing anything.
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post 1540905121 01-17-2018, 05:54 AM
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I tend to agree, OP. I've read my fair share of self help books, and I've realised that they're a load of bollocks. One of the biggest cons around in my opinion. Prey on the needy and self conscious by promising the solution to their problems, only to spend most of the book talking chit and not really giving any meaningful advice.

If there's one book I've read/sort of read that's actually had a positive impact on me, it's been Mel Robbins' 5 Second Rule. The book is a bit needless because she takes so long to tell you something that could have only taken less than five pages, but the basic principle is: Relying on motivation is wrong. You'll never be motivated for the entirety of your life, and most of the time you just won't feel like doing it (it being whatever you want to improve). So, she proposes that you use her 5 second rule, which is basically, as soon as you get a thought about doing something, whether it's good or bad, you start counting down from 5. When you reach one, you MOVE, you physically move with the intent of acting in the favourable way. I.e. If you see a pizza and you're cutting, you're looking at it thinking 'I want that, but I really shouldn't...' You then think, OK, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...walk away from the pizza. Or when you're trying to get up in the morning, the alarm goes off and you think 'I could just snooze one more time', when counting down from 5 and jumping out of the bed gets it done.

There's science behind this approach as well, and it's to do with engaging the prefrontal cortex of the brain to stop us from going into autopilot and taking the path of least resistance everytime.

If you're interested, this TED talk is excellent, and she goes into brief detail about the rule:



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp7E973zozc
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post 1540905161 01-17-2018, 05:55 AM
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everyday self improvement is the point of life
op is a soyboy ******* that hoped reading a book will make him less of a beta dyel nerd just lol
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post 1540905321 01-17-2018, 05:57 AM
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Originally Posted By wasp9166
you're 22 , get back to this when you're 52

i was applying while you were on the bus stop kid
I'm not saying all of these books are bad, but the majority of the books under the self-help banner is ****. I think you could get more value out of biographies and such. Those books are written by people with proven experiences, not some self help author.
Never settle
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post 1540905891 01-17-2018, 06:11 AM
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Originally Posted By Hctap
I tend to agree, OP. I've read my fair share of self help books, and I've realised that they're a load of bollocks. One of the biggest cons around in my opinion. Prey on the needy and self conscious by promising the solution to their problems, only to spend most of the book talking chit and not really giving any meaningful advice.

If there's one book I've read/sort of read that's actually had a positive impact on me, it's been Mel Robbins' 5 Second Rule. The book is a bit needless because she takes so long to tell you something that could have only taken less than five pages, but the basic principle is: Relying on motivation is wrong. You'll never be motivated for the entirety of your life, and most of the time you just won't feel like doing it (it being whatever you want to improve). So, she proposes that you use her 5 second rule, which is basically, as soon as you get a thought about doing something, whether it's good or bad, you start counting down from 5. When you reach one, you MOVE, you physically move with the intent of acting in the favourable way. I.e. If you see a pizza and you're cutting, you're looking at it thinking 'I want that, but I really shouldn't...' You then think, OK, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...walk away from the pizza. Or when you're trying to get up in the morning, the alarm goes off and you think 'I could just snooze one more time', when counting down from 5 and jumping out of the bed gets it done.

There's science behind this approach as well, and it's to do with engaging the prefrontal cortex of the brain to stop us from going into autopilot and taking the path of least resistance everytime.

If you're interested, this TED talk is excellent, and she goes into brief detail about the rule:



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp7E973zozc
5 second rules is dumb. I'd be like "5, 4, ah chit I lost it. What was I counting down for again? I'm going to eat some donuts."

The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg is far better. It teaches how to actually develop habits. I liked the true story of Billy who had dementia at an old age. He couldn't remember a thing. He just sat at home in the same spot all day long. He was at risk of heart disease because he ate the same junk food day in and out. Whenever his wife tried to feed him healthy food he'd reject it like a chid. His wife let him out one day. She lost him. She thought she would never find him again. Eventually he came back. She was surprised by it because he couldn't remember how he came back. What happened was that his brain figured out how to come back due to habits. (It's the Amygdala that does this) So Dr. Squires carefully studied him due to ability to do things due to habits. Eventually Billy did die of a heart attack. His brain is now being used for scientific research.

THe Power of Habit teaches Habit = Cue + Routine + Reward.

Cue-You put your shoes next to your bed.
Routine-You go for a run.
Reward-Runner's high.

Far better to develop habits rather than just motivation.
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post 1540906531 01-17-2018, 06:21 AM
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Agree to disagree , books are really worth your time and investment, there will always be books that will do not much for you in any perspective, just because your personality and life experience does not fit with their ideas.

Ask a 20 year old who is ready to explore life to read Nietzsche who thinks that progress is the result of struggle , sacrifice and suffering, then ask a war veteran or a disabled person to read the same, you will get different opinions.

I think you should be reading because you want to improve, not to read only to contradict the theories, if you fight everything in life, everything works against you.

LE: I red the 7 habits of effective people, you're talking about Covey which is a professor when it comes to human behaviour and how to progress.
10/10 recommend the book
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post 1540906951 01-17-2018, 06:28 AM
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I thought about trying out self help books when I was a teenager. Then I saw the type of dude that read them and figured they weren't for me.
post 1540907111 01-17-2018, 06:30 AM
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"Self Improvement is a waste of time"

...he posted to a BodyBuilding forum, with no sense of irony.

OP it sounds like your issue is analysis paralysis, not books themselves. Read a book then apply it. At some point you're wasting your time reading "Runner's World" looking for more "tips", endlessly debating over the perfect running shoe etc... you'd be better served by getting off the couch and going for a run, however crappy.

Learning isn't a waste of time, unless that's ALL you do.
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post 1540907241 01-17-2018, 06:32 AM
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Just because you read a self-improvement book doesn't mean your situation will improve unless you start doing things to improve it.
Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit softly.
post 1540907511 01-17-2018, 06:37 AM
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self help/self improvement industry is pure trash
post 1540907561 01-17-2018, 06:37 AM
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Says reading about self improvement isn't usefull, then goes on and advices people to ... read things so you can improve yourself. Ok then.

Reading IS helpful. Why? Because getting aware of something is the first step you make towards improvement. Take a book like "7 habits of succesfull people" where the author shows 'ideal and non-ideal' behaviour. By understanding and being aware of your faults, you can start to work on them.

You need to make an effort though, I agree. Just reading about it ain't gonna solve things.
post 1540908021 01-17-2018, 06:45 AM
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Originally Posted By MrBourbon
"Self Improvement is a waste of time"

...he posted to a BodyBuilding forum, with no sense of irony.

OP it sounds like your issue is analysis paralysis, not books themselves. Read a book then apply it. At some point you're wasting your time reading "Runner's World" looking for more "tips", endlessly debating over the perfect running shoe etc... you'd be better served by getting off the couch and going for a run, however crappy.

Learning isn't a waste of time, unless that's ALL you do.
Makes me think of one scripture that says โ€œfaith without works is dead.โ€ The Bible is the best self-help book anyone could ever read IMO, just have to put it to good use.
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post 1540908061 01-17-2018, 06:46 AM
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Originally Posted By Ozzieturk
rds improvement. Take a book like "7 habits of succesfull people" where the author shows 'ideal and non-ideal' behaviour. By understanding and being aware of your faults, you can start to work on them.
If you're not aware of your own faults then the problem is your own self-awareness. A book ain't gonna help with that.
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post 1540908171 01-17-2018, 06:48 AM
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Originally Posted By gwg77
it took 30 self improvement books to realize they are nonsense? hahahahahahahahahahahaha. fukkin dumbass.
This. Lol @ ******* OP
post 1540908221 01-17-2018, 06:48 AM
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you say "Self improvement is a waste of time", and then refer to self-help books? what?

Self improvement is what it's all about man just because you started reading Dale Carnegie 2 years ago and are still a FA beta Miscer doesn't mean that it doesn't work if you internalize it and apply the strategies adequately
post 1540908621 01-17-2018, 06:56 AM
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Originally Posted By RoxyFoxy22
LE: I red the 7 habits of effective people, you're talking about Covey which is a professor when it comes to human behaviour and how to progress.
10/10 recommend the book
I had to take his whole 'seminar' for work when we got a new CIO. Most useless thing ever. Just a list of 7 habits with buzzword titles to make me think Covey thinks I'm too dumb for adult words, 'Sharpen the Saw', 'Put First Things First', etc... It's like the guy just took cliche saying and added some definition.

Also, 'Begin with the End in Mind' - dies in a bike accident because he was going to fast or something. Bet that wasn't the end he had in mind. Also happened when I was in the seminar, made me lol. Although it did leave me with great productivity jokes to make in meetings.
post 1540908761 01-17-2018, 06:58 AM
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Reading to learn is never a waste of time. Reading 30 cliched books that you don't glean anything valuable from is.
post 1540909351 01-17-2018, 07:07 AM
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Maybe if you spent more time applying it and less time posting you would think differently
Any posts made are purely fictional in nature and by no means is anything I say to be taken seriously. Any and all pictures I post are pictures widely available on the internet and any discussions I am involved in are purely hypothetical or are commentary in nature and should not constitute advice or be considered advice
post 1540909721 01-17-2018, 07:12 AM
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I remember when I was 22 and thought I knew things
post 1540909961 01-17-2018, 07:16 AM
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Originally Posted By wisdommaster1
I remember when I was 22 and thought I knew things
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post 1540910121 01-17-2018, 07:19 AM
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certain ones are a waste of time.


if the says reads something like: how to make friends, how to make a million dollars overnight, etc etc, they're a waste of time.


Other books that help you change your mentality, like teaching you how to stay more calm, or teaching you how to budget, thosea types of books are of value
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post 1540910351 01-17-2018, 07:22 AM
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Def not useless, you just have to apply them properly.

Anyone can read a book, feel motivated, then go back to being lazy on the couch. But say you read a book that changes your perceptive on your career and inspires you to take action? That's a whole different ballgame. I used to listen to motivational speeches like crazy and get pumped up about where I was going in life, but the reality is that I would be pumped up/motivated yet take no course of action. Whereas now, I've taken the action to work 2 jobs, go to school, and continue my degree to get into physical therapy school. Do I feel motivated all the time? Fcuk no. But reading some books that have taught me effective time management, studying habits, and consistency over motivation have helped tremendously.

Imo the biggest flaw isn't the self help books, its the reader who thinks theres a magic genie inside that will turn he/she into everything they ever wanted to be. The right books can give you a roadmap and directions, but you have to be willing to actually drive the vehicle to the destination. Motivation without action and knowledge without application is all bs. The books can give motivation and knowledge, its up to the reader to take and action and apply the knowledge.
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post 1540911011 01-17-2018, 07:30 AM
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age 22
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post 1540911121 01-17-2018, 07:32 AM
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Originally Posted By WillBrink
age 22
Hungary
Reads "How to Win Friends and Influence People", published in 1932

Gives life advice on the misc...
- Age is irrelevant
- My country is older than the US
- Some old texts are relevant even today
Never settle
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post 1540911241 01-17-2018, 07:33 AM
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What is ironic is that I don't know any successful people that actual read or have read self help books...

In my personal opinion if you have to look outside of yourself for "self help" you aren't going to make it. Your character is the foundation success is built upon and not motivation and or self help.

100% of my friends that are ALWAYS talking about success but never getting there are caught up in the motivation and self help rackets..
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