01-17-2018, 05:42 AM
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#1
- Dumika
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- Dumika
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Self improvement is a massive waste of time
Let me explain.
I reached to this conclusion after I read many of these "self-help" books and sites like AOM. I felt like I was productive for the time being. About 30 books in, I realized they ain't worth it. Period. There is a book called 'How to Win Friends and Influence People ' that I read, then applied 0 of the given advices, because the world just doesn't work that way. If you want to improve at something, you do it, not read about doing it. You only improve by leaving your comfort zone, and reading books about it isn't leaving it.
My advices:
- Read up on deliberate practice
- If you feel bad mentally, read Marcus Aurelius's Meditations (or any book from the Stoics) for maximum benefits
- If you have a problem you want to solve, pick one material, and APPLY the stuff - don't start reading seemingly beneficial books/articles/whatever
- Read misc posts by older brahs about their life regrets, and avoid making those mistakes
I reached to this conclusion after I read many of these "self-help" books and sites like AOM. I felt like I was productive for the time being. About 30 books in, I realized they ain't worth it. Period. There is a book called 'How to Win Friends and Influence People ' that I read, then applied 0 of the given advices, because the world just doesn't work that way. If you want to improve at something, you do it, not read about doing it. You only improve by leaving your comfort zone, and reading books about it isn't leaving it.
My advices:
- Read up on deliberate practice
- If you feel bad mentally, read Marcus Aurelius's Meditations (or any book from the Stoics) for maximum benefits
- If you have a problem you want to solve, pick one material, and APPLY the stuff - don't start reading seemingly beneficial books/articles/whatever
- Read misc posts by older brahs about their life regrets, and avoid making those mistakes
Never settle
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01-17-2018, 05:45 AM
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#2
01-17-2018, 05:49 AM
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#3
01-17-2018, 05:49 AM
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#4
- Dumika
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Originally Posted By wasp9166⏩
The right use of booksbooks are not for action, they are for ideas
"Don't just say you have read books. Show that through them you have learned to think better, to be a more discriminating and reflective person. Books are the training weights of the mind. They are very helpful, but would be a bad mistake to suppose that one has made progress simply by having internalized their contents."
If you apply the stuff you learned, good for you. I didn't apply anything, because there was no applicable situation.
Never settle
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01-17-2018, 05:53 AM
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#5
- wasp9166
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Originally Posted By Dumika⏩
you're 22 , get back to this when you're 52The right use of books
"Don't just say you have read books. Show that through them you have learned to think better, to be a more discriminating and reflective person. Books are the training weights of the mind. They are very helpful, but would be a bad mistake to suppose that one has made progress simply by having internalized their contents."
If you apply the stuff you learned, good for you. I didn't apply anything, because there was no applicable situation.
"Don't just say you have read books. Show that through them you have learned to think better, to be a more discriminating and reflective person. Books are the training weights of the mind. They are very helpful, but would be a bad mistake to suppose that one has made progress simply by having internalized their contents."
If you apply the stuff you learned, good for you. I didn't apply anything, because there was no applicable situation.
i was applying while you were on the bus stop kid
and i still haven't found the meaning to life , why?
because there is none
just be the best you you can be today
it will be over before you know it
01-17-2018, 05:53 AM
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#6
- Azn00Superman
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Most self-help books are useless. Research had shown that they let the readers reap the emotional reward of accomplishment before even doing anything.
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01-17-2018, 05:54 AM
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#7
- Hctap
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I tend to agree, OP. I've read my fair share of self help books, and I've realised that they're a load of bollocks. One of the biggest cons around in my opinion. Prey on the needy and self conscious by promising the solution to their problems, only to spend most of the book talking chit and not really giving any meaningful advice.
If there's one book I've read/sort of read that's actually had a positive impact on me, it's been Mel Robbins' 5 Second Rule. The book is a bit needless because she takes so long to tell you something that could have only taken less than five pages, but the basic principle is: Relying on motivation is wrong. You'll never be motivated for the entirety of your life, and most of the time you just won't feel like doing it (it being whatever you want to improve). So, she proposes that you use her 5 second rule, which is basically, as soon as you get a thought about doing something, whether it's good or bad, you start counting down from 5. When you reach one, you MOVE, you physically move with the intent of acting in the favourable way. I.e. If you see a pizza and you're cutting, you're looking at it thinking 'I want that, but I really shouldn't...' You then think, OK, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...walk away from the pizza. Or when you're trying to get up in the morning, the alarm goes off and you think 'I could just snooze one more time', when counting down from 5 and jumping out of the bed gets it done.
There's science behind this approach as well, and it's to do with engaging the prefrontal cortex of the brain to stop us from going into autopilot and taking the path of least resistance everytime.
If you're interested, this TED talk is excellent, and she goes into brief detail about the rule:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp7E973zozc
If there's one book I've read/sort of read that's actually had a positive impact on me, it's been Mel Robbins' 5 Second Rule. The book is a bit needless because she takes so long to tell you something that could have only taken less than five pages, but the basic principle is: Relying on motivation is wrong. You'll never be motivated for the entirety of your life, and most of the time you just won't feel like doing it (it being whatever you want to improve). So, she proposes that you use her 5 second rule, which is basically, as soon as you get a thought about doing something, whether it's good or bad, you start counting down from 5. When you reach one, you MOVE, you physically move with the intent of acting in the favourable way. I.e. If you see a pizza and you're cutting, you're looking at it thinking 'I want that, but I really shouldn't...' You then think, OK, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...walk away from the pizza. Or when you're trying to get up in the morning, the alarm goes off and you think 'I could just snooze one more time', when counting down from 5 and jumping out of the bed gets it done.
There's science behind this approach as well, and it's to do with engaging the prefrontal cortex of the brain to stop us from going into autopilot and taking the path of least resistance everytime.
If you're interested, this TED talk is excellent, and she goes into brief detail about the rule:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp7E973zozc
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01-17-2018, 05:55 AM
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#8
- SerbianSickKant
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everyday self improvement is the point of life
op is a soyboy ******* that hoped reading a book will make him less of a beta dyel nerd just lol
op is a soyboy ******* that hoped reading a book will make him less of a beta dyel nerd just lol
degenmaxx
01-17-2018, 05:57 AM
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#9
- Dumika
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Originally Posted By wasp9166⏩
I'm not saying all of these books are bad, but the majority of the books under the self-help banner is ****. I think you could get more value out of biographies and such. Those books are written by people with proven experiences, not some self help author.you're 22 , get back to this when you're 52
i was applying while you were on the bus stop kid
i was applying while you were on the bus stop kid
Never settle
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01-17-2018, 06:11 AM
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#10
Originally Posted By Hctap⏩
5 second rules is dumb. I'd be like "5, 4, ah chit I lost it. What was I counting down for again? I'm going to eat some donuts."I tend to agree, OP. I've read my fair share of self help books, and I've realised that they're a load of bollocks. One of the biggest cons around in my opinion. Prey on the needy and self conscious by promising the solution to their problems, only to spend most of the book talking chit and not really giving any meaningful advice.
If there's one book I've read/sort of read that's actually had a positive impact on me, it's been Mel Robbins' 5 Second Rule. The book is a bit needless because she takes so long to tell you something that could have only taken less than five pages, but the basic principle is: Relying on motivation is wrong. You'll never be motivated for the entirety of your life, and most of the time you just won't feel like doing it (it being whatever you want to improve). So, she proposes that you use her 5 second rule, which is basically, as soon as you get a thought about doing something, whether it's good or bad, you start counting down from 5. When you reach one, you MOVE, you physically move with the intent of acting in the favourable way. I.e. If you see a pizza and you're cutting, you're looking at it thinking 'I want that, but I really shouldn't...' You then think, OK, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...walk away from the pizza. Or when you're trying to get up in the morning, the alarm goes off and you think 'I could just snooze one more time', when counting down from 5 and jumping out of the bed gets it done.
There's science behind this approach as well, and it's to do with engaging the prefrontal cortex of the brain to stop us from going into autopilot and taking the path of least resistance everytime.
If you're interested, this TED talk is excellent, and she goes into brief detail about the rule:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp7E973zozc
If there's one book I've read/sort of read that's actually had a positive impact on me, it's been Mel Robbins' 5 Second Rule. The book is a bit needless because she takes so long to tell you something that could have only taken less than five pages, but the basic principle is: Relying on motivation is wrong. You'll never be motivated for the entirety of your life, and most of the time you just won't feel like doing it (it being whatever you want to improve). So, she proposes that you use her 5 second rule, which is basically, as soon as you get a thought about doing something, whether it's good or bad, you start counting down from 5. When you reach one, you MOVE, you physically move with the intent of acting in the favourable way. I.e. If you see a pizza and you're cutting, you're looking at it thinking 'I want that, but I really shouldn't...' You then think, OK, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...walk away from the pizza. Or when you're trying to get up in the morning, the alarm goes off and you think 'I could just snooze one more time', when counting down from 5 and jumping out of the bed gets it done.
There's science behind this approach as well, and it's to do with engaging the prefrontal cortex of the brain to stop us from going into autopilot and taking the path of least resistance everytime.
If you're interested, this TED talk is excellent, and she goes into brief detail about the rule:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp7E973zozc
The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg is far better. It teaches how to actually develop habits. I liked the true story of Billy who had dementia at an old age. He couldn't remember a thing. He just sat at home in the same spot all day long. He was at risk of heart disease because he ate the same junk food day in and out. Whenever his wife tried to feed him healthy food he'd reject it like a chid. His wife let him out one day. She lost him. She thought she would never find him again. Eventually he came back. She was surprised by it because he couldn't remember how he came back. What happened was that his brain figured out how to come back due to habits. (It's the Amygdala that does this) So Dr. Squires carefully studied him due to ability to do things due to habits. Eventually Billy did die of a heart attack. His brain is now being used for scientific research.
THe Power of Habit teaches Habit = Cue + Routine + Reward.
Cue-You put your shoes next to your bed.
Routine-You go for a run.
Reward-Runner's high.
Far better to develop habits rather than just motivation.
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01-17-2018, 06:21 AM
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#11
- RoxyFoxy22
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Agree to disagree , books are really worth your time and investment, there will always be books that will do not much for you in any perspective, just because your personality and life experience does not fit with their ideas.
Ask a 20 year old who is ready to explore life to read Nietzsche who thinks that progress is the result of struggle , sacrifice and suffering, then ask a war veteran or a disabled person to read the same, you will get different opinions.
I think you should be reading because you want to improve, not to read only to contradict the theories, if you fight everything in life, everything works against you.
LE: I red the 7 habits of effective people, you're talking about Covey which is a professor when it comes to human behaviour and how to progress.
10/10 recommend the book
Ask a 20 year old who is ready to explore life to read Nietzsche who thinks that progress is the result of struggle , sacrifice and suffering, then ask a war veteran or a disabled person to read the same, you will get different opinions.
I think you should be reading because you want to improve, not to read only to contradict the theories, if you fight everything in life, everything works against you.
LE: I red the 7 habits of effective people, you're talking about Covey which is a professor when it comes to human behaviour and how to progress.
10/10 recommend the book
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01-17-2018, 06:28 AM
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#12
- residesinAZ
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I thought about trying out self help books when I was a teenager. Then I saw the type of dude that read them and figured they weren't for me.
01-17-2018, 06:30 AM
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#13
"Self Improvement is a waste of time"
...he posted to a BodyBuilding forum, with no sense of irony.
OP it sounds like your issue is analysis paralysis, not books themselves. Read a book then apply it. At some point you're wasting your time reading "Runner's World" looking for more "tips", endlessly debating over the perfect running shoe etc... you'd be better served by getting off the couch and going for a run, however crappy.
Learning isn't a waste of time, unless that's ALL you do.
...he posted to a BodyBuilding forum, with no sense of irony.
OP it sounds like your issue is analysis paralysis, not books themselves. Read a book then apply it. At some point you're wasting your time reading "Runner's World" looking for more "tips", endlessly debating over the perfect running shoe etc... you'd be better served by getting off the couch and going for a run, however crappy.
Learning isn't a waste of time, unless that's ALL you do.
Smooth Seas don't make Strong Sailors. Keep your head up.
MrWhiskey24 for jolly cooperation (PS)
01-17-2018, 06:32 AM
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#14
Just because you read a self-improvement book doesn't mean your situation will improve unless you start doing things to improve it.
Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit softly.
01-17-2018, 06:37 AM
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#15
- midcoastking33
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self help/self improvement industry is pure trash
01-17-2018, 06:37 AM
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#16
- Ozzieturk
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Says reading about self improvement isn't usefull, then goes on and advices people to ... read things so you can improve yourself. Ok then.
Reading IS helpful. Why? Because getting aware of something is the first step you make towards improvement. Take a book like "7 habits of succesfull people" where the author shows 'ideal and non-ideal' behaviour. By understanding and being aware of your faults, you can start to work on them.
You need to make an effort though, I agree. Just reading about it ain't gonna solve things.
Reading IS helpful. Why? Because getting aware of something is the first step you make towards improvement. Take a book like "7 habits of succesfull people" where the author shows 'ideal and non-ideal' behaviour. By understanding and being aware of your faults, you can start to work on them.
You need to make an effort though, I agree. Just reading about it ain't gonna solve things.
01-17-2018, 06:45 AM
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#17
- JaymzJ
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Originally Posted By MrBourbon⏩
Makes me think of one scripture that says โfaith without works is dead.โ The Bible is the best self-help book anyone could ever read IMO, just have to put it to good use."Self Improvement is a waste of time"
...he posted to a BodyBuilding forum, with no sense of irony.
OP it sounds like your issue is analysis paralysis, not books themselves. Read a book then apply it. At some point you're wasting your time reading "Runner's World" looking for more "tips", endlessly debating over the perfect running shoe etc... you'd be better served by getting off the couch and going for a run, however crappy.
Learning isn't a waste of time, unless that's ALL you do.
...he posted to a BodyBuilding forum, with no sense of irony.
OP it sounds like your issue is analysis paralysis, not books themselves. Read a book then apply it. At some point you're wasting your time reading "Runner's World" looking for more "tips", endlessly debating over the perfect running shoe etc... you'd be better served by getting off the couch and going for a run, however crappy.
Learning isn't a waste of time, unless that's ALL you do.
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Every minute, every day
Fight the good fight every moment
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01-17-2018, 06:46 AM
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#18
- Azn00Superman
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Originally Posted By Ozzieturk⏩
If you're not aware of your own faults then the problem is your own self-awareness. A book ain't gonna help with that.rds improvement. Take a book like "7 habits of succesfull people" where the author shows 'ideal and non-ideal' behaviour. By understanding and being aware of your faults, you can start to work on them.
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01-17-2018, 06:48 AM
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#19
01-17-2018, 06:48 AM
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#20
- TheAnemois
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you say "Self improvement is a waste of time", and then refer to self-help books? what?
Self improvement is what it's all about man just because you started reading Dale Carnegie 2 years ago and are still a FA beta Miscer doesn't mean that it doesn't work if you internalize it and apply the strategies adequately
Self improvement is what it's all about man just because you started reading Dale Carnegie 2 years ago and are still a FA beta Miscer doesn't mean that it doesn't work if you internalize it and apply the strategies adequately
01-17-2018, 06:56 AM
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#21
- soaponarope1
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Originally Posted By RoxyFoxy22⏩
I had to take his whole 'seminar' for work when we got a new CIO. Most useless thing ever. Just a list of 7 habits with buzzword titles to make me think Covey thinks I'm too dumb for adult words, 'Sharpen the Saw', 'Put First Things First', etc... It's like the guy just took cliche saying and added some definition.LE: I red the 7 habits of effective people, you're talking about Covey which is a professor when it comes to human behaviour and how to progress.
10/10 recommend the book
10/10 recommend the book
Also, 'Begin with the End in Mind' - dies in a bike accident because he was going to fast or something. Bet that wasn't the end he had in mind. Also happened when I was in the seminar, made me lol. Although it did leave me with great productivity jokes to make in meetings.
01-17-2018, 06:58 AM
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#22
01-17-2018, 07:07 AM
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#23
- Fit1NYC
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Maybe if you spent more time applying it and less time posting you would think differently
Any posts made are purely fictional in nature and by no means is anything I say to be taken seriously. Any and all pictures I post are pictures widely available on the internet and any discussions I am involved in are purely hypothetical or are commentary in nature and should not constitute advice or be considered advice
01-17-2018, 07:12 AM
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#24
- wisdommaster1
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I remember when I was 22 and thought I knew things
01-17-2018, 07:16 AM
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#25
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Originally Posted By wisdommaster1⏩
Username checks outI remember when I was 22 and thought I knew things
01-17-2018, 07:19 AM
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#26
- rainieravesouth
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certain ones are a waste of time.
if the says reads something like: how to make friends, how to make a million dollars overnight, etc etc, they're a waste of time.
Other books that help you change your mentality, like teaching you how to stay more calm, or teaching you how to budget, thosea types of books are of value
if the says reads something like: how to make friends, how to make a million dollars overnight, etc etc, they're a waste of time.
Other books that help you change your mentality, like teaching you how to stay more calm, or teaching you how to budget, thosea types of books are of value
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01-17-2018, 07:22 AM
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#27
- LoganBrown
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Def not useless, you just have to apply them properly.
Anyone can read a book, feel motivated, then go back to being lazy on the couch. But say you read a book that changes your perceptive on your career and inspires you to take action? That's a whole different ballgame. I used to listen to motivational speeches like crazy and get pumped up about where I was going in life, but the reality is that I would be pumped up/motivated yet take no course of action. Whereas now, I've taken the action to work 2 jobs, go to school, and continue my degree to get into physical therapy school. Do I feel motivated all the time? Fcuk no. But reading some books that have taught me effective time management, studying habits, and consistency over motivation have helped tremendously.
Imo the biggest flaw isn't the self help books, its the reader who thinks theres a magic genie inside that will turn he/she into everything they ever wanted to be. The right books can give you a roadmap and directions, but you have to be willing to actually drive the vehicle to the destination. Motivation without action and knowledge without application is all bs. The books can give motivation and knowledge, its up to the reader to take and action and apply the knowledge.
Anyone can read a book, feel motivated, then go back to being lazy on the couch. But say you read a book that changes your perceptive on your career and inspires you to take action? That's a whole different ballgame. I used to listen to motivational speeches like crazy and get pumped up about where I was going in life, but the reality is that I would be pumped up/motivated yet take no course of action. Whereas now, I've taken the action to work 2 jobs, go to school, and continue my degree to get into physical therapy school. Do I feel motivated all the time? Fcuk no. But reading some books that have taught me effective time management, studying habits, and consistency over motivation have helped tremendously.
Imo the biggest flaw isn't the self help books, its the reader who thinks theres a magic genie inside that will turn he/she into everything they ever wanted to be. The right books can give you a roadmap and directions, but you have to be willing to actually drive the vehicle to the destination. Motivation without action and knowledge without application is all bs. The books can give motivation and knowledge, its up to the reader to take and action and apply the knowledge.
Strong mind, strong body.
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01-17-2018, 07:30 AM
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#28
- WillBrink
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age 22
Hungary
Reads "How to Win Friends and Influence People", published in 1932
Gives life advice on the misc...
Hungary
Reads "How to Win Friends and Influence People", published in 1932
Gives life advice on the misc...
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01-17-2018, 07:32 AM
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#29
- Dumika
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Originally Posted By WillBrink⏩
- Age is irrelevantage 22
Hungary
Reads "How to Win Friends and Influence People", published in 1932
Gives life advice on the misc...
Hungary
Reads "How to Win Friends and Influence People", published in 1932
Gives life advice on the misc...
- My country is older than the US
- Some old texts are relevant even today
Never settle
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01-17-2018, 07:33 AM
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#30
- Scarrdbutsmartr
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What is ironic is that I don't know any successful people that actual read or have read self help books...
In my personal opinion if you have to look outside of yourself for "self help" you aren't going to make it. Your character is the foundation success is built upon and not motivation and or self help.
100% of my friends that are ALWAYS talking about success but never getting there are caught up in the motivation and self help rackets..
In my personal opinion if you have to look outside of yourself for "self help" you aren't going to make it. Your character is the foundation success is built upon and not motivation and or self help.
100% of my friends that are ALWAYS talking about success but never getting there are caught up in the motivation and self help rackets..
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