Dude, i’m gonna type as sober as possible, that honestly looks fcking pathetic and disgusting compared to my meal. and I’m being one hundred percent serious. Sorry we dont cook sht that was previously in cans. you’re a fuking joke dude, and im dead fuking serious. get a real family that cooks good food, drinks beer and wine and winecoolers and has a good fuking time, and has a million dollar house on the beach, im seriously.. dont ever post your fuking poverty dinner on these forums ever the fuk again bro, and by bro i mean never my bro, fuking *******.

What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

I see wut u did there

Awesome pics. Great size. Look thick. Solid. Tight. Keep us all posted on your continued progress with any new progress pics or vid clips. Show us what you got man. Wanna see how freakin' huge, solid, thick and tight you can get. Thanks for the motivation.

u are 1 ****ing cheeky kunt mate i swear i am goin 2 wreck u i swear on my mums life and i no u are scared lil bitch gettin your mates to send me messages saying dont meet up coz u r sum big bastard with muscles lol ****in sad mate really sad jus shows what a scared lil gay boy u are and whats all this crap ur mates sendin me about sum bodybuildin website that 1 of your faverite places to look at men u lil ****in gay boy fone me if u got da balls cheeky prick see if u can step up lil queer

*As long as the balls don't touch........no homo*

Hey friends

I'm looking to purchase a fine mower for $150.00. Please call, I'll come get it tomorrow. You have my word as a Schons.

I don't do business without talking to someone though. I'm easy to talk to, and appreciate the opportunity to meet you besides. We're all in this world together and I believe in having friends at all points on the map. It makes your struggle in life easier. My grandfather told me long ago, "If you don't have a core group of friends you can trust and they can trust you, life can kick your butt every day of your life..... if you do have this core of loyal friends, life is good." Just letting you know my intentions.

Have a nice day and I hope the best for you and yours.

Sincerely,

S.S.

negged for life

and even if you get banned, ill make sure i find out what your new account is and neg you for life there

and if you move forum, guess what? ill find out what forum you've moved to, ill build my reputation there, and fukin neg the fuk out of you for life there

your life is fuked, do you understand? your life is actually fuked.

xTUNAx

Haha awesome seein all these copy pastas. The nostalgia.

forgive english, i am russia...

So I was driving with one of bros, and I accidentally grabbed his leg instead of the gearstick. We both laughed and I unzipped his pants. We parked the car and I started to fondle his balls. He started laughing because he knows it's all just a joke. I started sucking his dick in the empty parking lot, and I almost choke because I'm laughing so fukking hard. My friend is also laughing his ass off too, because this is the greatest prank ever. He starts making train noises while yelling, "BROJOB! BROJOB! CHOO CHOO!". When he cums, I swallow it like I'm some big *******. I kissed him and call him a big ******* while laughing.

Laughed my ass off at this one 😂

So I was driving with one of my bros, and I accidentally grabbed his leg instead of the gearstick. We both laughed and I unzipped his pants. We parked the car and I started to fondle his balls. He started laughing because he knows it's all just a joke. I started sucking his dick in the empty parking lot, and I almost choke because I'm laughing so fukking hard. My friend is also laughing his ass off too, because this is the greatest prank ever. He starts making train noises while yelling, "BROJOB! BROJOB! CHOO CHOO!". When he cums, I swallow it like I'm some big *******. I kissed him and call him a big ******* while laughing.

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I never bought any of that "size matters" crap until my junior year in college. I lived in the dorms with two roommates, David and John. David was a pretty ordinary looking guy, kinda quiet - but John was tall, lean, muscular and (according to him anyway) was hung like a bull. He used to joke about it a lot - even around my girlfriend, Amy. Amy was a sophomore and was petite, shy and somewhat quiet. I didn't like it when John would make his "big dick" comments and jokes around Amy, but she told me she didn't pay any attention to him and truth be told, she really couldn't stand John.

I have a 5.5" dick and with Amy being so petite, it always seemed to do the trick. I was only the third guy she'd ever been with and only her second boyfriend - maybe my guard was just down but who knows.

Anyway, one Friday night, Amy and I were hanging out in my dorm room drinking, smoking some weed and watching TV. David and John had both gone home for the weekend - or so we thought. At about 1AM (Amy and I were pretty toasted by then), John walked in. He'd ended up hanging out with some of his friends off campus and had decided to just drive home in the morning since his parents only lived about an hour and a half away.

He could see that Amy and I were both pretty hammered. He grabbed a beer and sat down and we smoked somem more weed with him. Amy was pretty drunk and started giving John ****. John seemed to get a kick out of it and I could see him kinda flirting with Amy. Then I noticed (and hoped that Amy wouldn't) that John wasn't wearing any underwear.

But Amy started massaging my dick through my jeans and being so ****ed up, I just laid my head back and enjoyed it - I couldn't believe she was doing that right in front of John! I heard John get up to pass Amy the joint we were smoking and I heard her gasp, long and deep and she suddenly stopped stroking my dick. I opened my eyes and saw John standing righ tin front of Amy with a HUGE ****ing bulge in his pants - just inches from her face. The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

He just stood there and I could feel her hand tremble and hear her breathing quicken. when she slowly looked up at him, almost in awe and respect, I could feel my heart start to pound in my chest. Then she softly whispered "ohhhhhhhhhhh" as she gingerly reached up to brush her finger tips across that massive knot in his pants. When she touched it, it throbbed - **** I could see it throb thorugh his pants - Amy just gasped again and looked up at him.

"What?" John asked her and just kinda laughed. Amy did NOT laugh. Instead, she softly asked "can i see it?" John stopped laughing, looked at her very seriously and told her to take it out. Amy never even hesitated - or looked back at me for an "OK" - just just obeyed him and began to open his jeans. I coudl see her nipples rock hard under her t-shirt and I could tell she was practically panting.

She opened his jeans and his big thick dick just fell out...and he had NOT been kidding. That cock was strong, thick, heavy and muscular. The head was a big purple mushroom that sat on top of the thickest shaft i'd ever seen. He was semi-hard and was HUGE compared to me. Amy just gasped and kept whispering "ohmygod..ohmygod...ohmygod". When she wrapped her hand around it, her brow just knotted in disbelief and she almost laughed at how thick he was - her fingers couldn't even touch.

John just stood there watching my girlfriend worship his magnificent cock. Slowly shaking her head in disbelief, she two-fisted him - one hand next to the other...and there was STILL a few inches left - and he was getting rock hard, too.

Amy smiled and patted the couch next to her and John sat down, his cock standing straight up. Honestly he had to be almost 10" (judging from the size of Amy's hand). I opened my pants and took my own cock out. Amy took my cock in her left hand and John's in her right - but there was little doubt whose cock was getting more attention. She couldn't take her eyes off his cock and her hand only occasionally stroked my dick...but John's she pumped with long, purposeful strokes until she finally couldn't help herself any longer and knelt in front of him, kissing his cock and rubbing it against her soft pale skin.

She sucked his dick until SHE came - just from sucking him! I stroked the whole time until he pulled her toward him, peeled off her pants (she didnt even make the slightest attempt to stop him) and sat her on his lap, her back to his chest - the two of them right next to me. She just rolled her head back to kiss him as he squeezed her tits through her shirt. Her hands went down and pushed that big cock against her pussy and she groaned so loud when it touched her that I thought people outside would hear.

John's dick was so ****ing big that he easily penetrated her from behind with her sitting on his lap. She arched up so she could take as much of it as she could and they started to **** right there next to me. It shocked me how easily her petite little body accomodated that horse cock of his. John pounded her in positions that i physically CANNOT do for over an hour - I have no idea how many times she came - she was even in tears a few times (though she never once told him to stop).

He asked her if she was on the pill and when she said she was on the patch, he told her that he was going to cum inside of her to mark her - which only made her cum again! when he finally came, he had Amy on her back, her legs shaking violently as they both came together - and true to his word, John dumped his seed deep up inside my girlfriend's pussy right in front of me. But **** - he didn't even lose his damn hard on! They ****ed for about another 40 minutes and he came twice more. Amy was a wreck by the time we all went to bed.

I will never forget the look on her face - like she was afraid of him and in love with him all at once - the whole time they ****ed. She later told me that there were no words to describe it - it was incredible but even that didn't seem enough. To my knowledge they never ****ed again and Amy and I dated for about another year before we finally broke up. I always wondered if she ended up with him or some other big dick guy.

But one thing I know for sure - she NEVER ****ed me like she did John and the things she said about John - the way she looked at him - and the way she was around him after that night (almost shy and meek) convinced me that a big dick makes a difference.

Amy told me that she "HAD to respect him" even if she didn't like him...and that she almost felt like he "had a right to her". So there ya go.


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liam neeson is known to be THE most hung guy in hollywood, possibly one of the biggest in the world. his cock has been described as "like an evian bottle", with gargantual thickness that would rival shane diesel and shorty mac. im estimating his size to be at least 8.5" bone pressed, with OVER 7" of girth. he would have absolutely destroyed portman's pussy.

they would have spent hours and hours on foreplay, getting herself wet enough just so she can take it. i can just imagine her begging for it, with liam barely able to force it past the knob, and portman moaning and squirming, demanding him to force it in deeper. she would have orgasm'd within seconds of taking the entire length, being filled and stretched right up to her cervix.. the orgasm would have been powerful, with her vaginal muscles clamping down on liams throbbing monstrosity, her whole body quivering in euphoria...
i bet she still masturbates to the memory of it

Are you aware that there are people in this world that have a severe medical condition which causes them to be that way? My mother for instance is one of those people. She is a truck driver that has bad knees and a bad back from driving the truck but you probably do not care about that case either. Oh well I am not one of those people I am 6'4" 245lbs and I exercise every day. I would love to see you say something like to my mother in front of me. Probably never happen though you are probably just an internet tough guy. I doubt very seriously you would say that to someones face. Just my thought.What do you think. Oh I am sorry you probably do not have a brain. I on the other hand will be happy to buy you a plane ticket to come here and see if you have the nerve to say that to someone I know.

I can confirm, I am house.

i am indian and let me tell you, being indian is actually a great thing. we have beautiful people and we have ugly people. just like any race. I for 1 am a great person, have great friends, and i take care of every one that is in my life and i am glad to do it, and for that i have people that love me around me. also, indian parents are one of the best parents you can have. sometimes they can be really strict, but they will take care of you no matter what, and they will buy you what ever it is that you need. as long as your not a selfish ****head. Also, we all have great jobs, lots of money and a family that we all love and take care off. suck my dick op suck my dick.

What the **** did you just ****ing say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the **** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my ****ing words. You think you can get away with saying that **** to me over the Internet? Think again, ****er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're ****ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little ****. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ****ing tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will **** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're ****ing dead, kiddo.

stuck that pasta in my comberd

*SoClose*

wann grab u kiss u dhen get on ma knees nd kiss ure juicy yummy pussy dhen eat it till u squirt while im eatin u i pky w ure nipples dhen i suk ure cum nd eqt it more nd suk it till u dont cum twice dhen go up to ure chest finger ure ass hole while sukin nd eatin ure teddies dhen tke ma dick out nd tease u w it dhen.imma fuk ure teddies till i cum

On a cold Friday afternoon, I had come home from school. I had been thinking of the gym all day. I was hungry, didn't have any lunch. In fact, I didn't eat because I spent the money. For the past month I was saving up for something. Something special which I bought at GNC. I was surprised they didn't ask for ID; I was pretty sure the cashier noticed how nervous I was. Anyways, my mom asked my how my day was when I got home, but I ignored her. I have more important things to do. I run to the bathroom and unpack my bag. In my school bag is a white plastic bag from GNC. I open the bag, first removing the receipt and flushing it down the toilet to get rid of the evidence. My heart was racing now. I unpack the creatine monster from the bag.

I wonder what people will be asking me when they see that I will be 50lbs heavier. Should I say I was just eating a lot? I remove the label from the tub and tear it into a thousand small pieces. I flush that down the toilet, too. It is time now. I run up to my room when my mom ask me what I am holding. I panic, sweat drips down my forehead and my teeth chatter. "Mom, it's just for a school project". "What project?" "I don't know mom I just started it!". A tear runs down my cheek. I run upstairs and open the creatine, scooping upservings into a clear water bottle. What have I gotten myself into? I fill it with water and drink it. There is no turning back now. The creatine monster is inside me now, it will control me. What should I do if I die? I cant let my family know about this.

I open the creatine tub and throw it all out the window; a white cloud of mysterious dust sparkles into the wind so graciously. I feel the substance taking control of me; I am now the monster. I walk downstairs, its time to work out; time to get big. Now I worry, I don't want to get too big; people will think I use steroids. I do use steroids. No I don't. Creatine. All I see is the weights now, I am almost downstairs when I hear "Do you want a cookie I just baked". I know I do not have time for this **** now. "No mom I do not want a cookie" I walk in the basement and drop to my knees before the weights, tears running down my cheeks. I turn to the right and look at myself in the mirror. Oh god, what have I done?

They served turkey there you stupid piece of chit

I've seen what getting jizzed on by a group of people does to a man, it is not pretty. I wasn't a part of it but when I was 12 or 13 I went to a sleep away summer camp and this is like when we were starting to discover porn and jacking off. Some kid brought some playboys and naked playing cards, sh*t like that with him. Anyway, one kid in our cabin was a huge tool, stole stuff like food and money from other people in our cabin. So half a dozen kids decided one night to wake up in the middle of the night at like 3 a.m and take turns jacking off in the bathroom, running out before they finished and blowing their load on the kid when he was sleeping. Literally 6-8 kids did this, all over his face, sheets, upper body, and hands, one kid also did it in his shoes. So everyone else wakes up the next morning and we all knew what had happened but this kid couldn't figure out why he was all sticky for like 15 minutes until a counselor forced it out of a kid. When the kid found out he went absolutely nuts, like certifiably crazy mental breakdown. He had to leave the camp for psychiatric treatment, worst part was after he took a shower and went to leave he stepped in the jizz shoes and also like 6 of my friends I never saw again because they got kicked out.

watchout your comments bro^^

It went like this:

I'm sitting there, and I get a huge wiff of ass.

Me: Hey babe, you smell that? Smells like ass.

Her: I've been getting wiffs of ass for a while now.

Me: Seriously? Oh damn, is it my ass?

Her: I don't think so.

I go to the bathroom the check out the situation.

Me: Oh god, it's my ass.

I walk back out to the living room.

Me: Hey babe, it was indeed my ass.

Her: Really? Oh.

Me: Yeah I am gonna go take a shower.

Her: Ok.

I take a shower.

I walk back out to the living room.

Her: How is your ass?

Me: It's alright. Sorry I got swamp ass in your presence.

Her: Eh it happens.

Me: It does.

*sits back down at laptop*

Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy and pasted it to word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells."

I wood berry my dick so far inside that ass whoever pulled it out would be crowned King Arthur

Good evening,

During the course of this year I have done extensive research on the misc. I put forward a paper for review at my university, currently it is under scrutiny. However, I would like to share with you my findings. Please note this is one hundred percent scientific fact. I present the cliffs in no particular order:

1) OP is always a *******. Some disagreements arise, but generally it is an accepted truth that the OP is a *******.

2) The poster above you, and the poster below you, always lifts more than you. Whether it is bench press or the squat, the majority of miscers will lift more than you.

3) Following on from point (2) above; Miscers generally lift either 50-150lbs more than you lift - OR - lift your weight for at least twice as many repititions.

4) Following from the above it may seem like there exists a paradox, that all miscers are stronger than you are no matter how strong you seem to be. This is not true. Research indicates that in the Misc paradoxical situations do not exist.

5) All Miscers regardless of weight, status, class, race, etc have "smashed" at least 3 'legit' 9/10's. Furthermore, most Miscers are experts on women, which nicely introduces the next point...

6) Miscers believe there is no such thing as a 10/10. This may be true, for beauty is subjective, but the difference in the Misc is that in fact most women are not even 7's. Research data indicates that most women are 6's, and very few women go above this number. This is because...

7) Miscers are all extremely attractive and/or have the best game. Those miscers who admit otherwise cannot legitimately call themselves miscers because they either leave or are never accepted. The method of not being accepted is commonly called the "neg train".

8) Reps/Negs is directly proportional to either:
- Intelligence
- Knowledge on a given topic
- Lifting ability
- Awesomeness.

This is absolutely true. Those with high reputation are always better than you in some way or another. Similarly, those in "the red" are not to be taken seriously and should be shunned.

9) Putting the word "serious" (or "srs") legitimately makes a certain thread or statement an absolute truth or indeed a 'code red' matter than has no element of hilarity or falsehood about it. This "srs" tag over rides all logic.

10) Similarly, "no homo" immediately makes others aware that the poster is not homosexual no matter what the content. Indeed, a real life example would be to engage in homosexual practise with the phrase "no homo" written on ones forehead and walk away with public opinion being that you are not in the slightest homosexual.

11) Genetics are everything. This is especially true for black people.(no racist)

12) Steroids are everything. This is especially true if you're physique is extremely good.

13) Putting "natty" in your thread immediately validates you as a natural bodybuilder. Again, even if tests were to be done, this word over-rides science.

14) Pictures and gifs settle all arguments. They do what no words could ever do, and generally a picture is really worth a thousand words.

15) Anything that is not said within a sentence or two is too long and will not be read. Research suggests that at some point in the future all posts will be a mere 5 letters long.

16) All Miscers have a penis size of at least 8 inches, though this falls on the smaller end of the scale.

17) Repping is a two way street. Getting reps without ever giving is a no no. One should always give back reps to those who repped you. Otherwise, you are stingy and/or a *******. However, repping just to be repped back is extremely ******* behavior. Repping whilst quoting rule 17 is discouraged.

18) The likelihood of new members receiving negative reputation points simply for creating a new thread - however valid or interesting - is very high.

For example, a new member with 0 reputation points and few posts might create an entertaining or highly informative thread that generates several pages of constructive responses. However, if one were to later check the OP's reputation points, one would notice that she/he is now in the deep red.

Based on this phenomenon, we can extrapolate the following axioms:

1) It is highly advisable for new members to not create any new threads until they have firmly established positive reputation.

2) The above may be accomplished by "laying low," so to speak - remaining "under the radar" as it were - by minimizing inflammatory or nonsensical comments and restricting new posts to insightful or comedic observations.

3) None of this applies to threads containing pictures of 3/4's-naked women.

19) Posting that which has already been posted shall immediately place special emphasis on point #1. Further more, miscers are duty bound to call "Repost" and attempt to string together "R..", "E..", etc. until "REPOST" is spelled in consecutive posts. OP is subject to ridicule and negs until the thread is deleted or quietly falls to page five.

20) All new female accounts are to be regarded as fake. All posts by said female accounts are to met with responses such as "Get the **** back in the kitchen", "Who let you out of the kitchen", and "****, you better make me a sandwich". Validity of the new female accounts is not to be recognized by male misc members until said female heeds the commands of the required response "Spoon pic of tits or gfto" by all male miscers. The chance of females members folding to the demands of male miscers to post nudes can be regarded as a scientific constant at 100%, because all females are attention hungry **** shavers. Monetary gain courtesy of misc white knights for posting nudes is not unheard of, see Sam08 for reference material.

21) No matter how much of a good point a new Miscer makes when insulting and/or negging a poster; new Miscer will be outranked by older Miscer and negged. For example please see post #33 and the response in post #35.

22) Every so often some new Miscer gets really keen on the whole "Misc comradery" and starts a thread similar, but not limited to, the following:
- I really like the Misc, thanks guiz
- Let's start a Bro Code 4da Misc please contribute
- Misc I'm so glad I'm here

Some posters take it easy on such miscers; some neg into oblivion for being a "*******". Research suggests that (1) [above] plays out and the "neg train" phenomenon occurs.

23) Threads about or related to "The Misc sucks now"/ "Misc used to be so epic"/"Anyone with a join date of XX" are always created to draw attention to a members join date and are, in fact, not about the quality of the misc.

24)AVI Spam: Whenever a user has picture of a beta ******* (usually assumed troll) Users will copy their profile pic and spam the thread with it. In most cases the pic being spammed will have the users face included too. In most cases you will be scrolling the topic for a long time looking at the same pic over and over. and most likely people will call out the troll in the pic for being a beta *******.

25) It is deemed fundamental for any OP to post pictures of any and all females mentioned in the OP. Failure to do so will be met with demands and humorous responses as to why they are unable to see such pics, failure to deliver said pics by the second page will always result in negs and/or thread derailment. Most, if not all, threads with pictures must include the tagline 'pics'.

26) 350, also commonly expressed as "Tree Fiddy" is regarded the infallible amount pertaining to any question that can be answered numerically. For example:

Q: Misc how much do you bench? A: Tree Fiddy
Q: How much does Whey Cost? A: Tree Fiddy
Q: How much would 50cent and an Evergreen weigh together? Tree Fiddy (wait wut? word play *******)

27) People who make posts/threads on specific topics and have stats which are laugh worthy, will ALWAYS be posted, no matter what the subject is. Stats in this regard are important. Particularly when the respective Miscer is giving advice on working out and/or negging someone based on something to do with nutrition/bodybuilding/working out/etc. Posting stats is a trump card and wins all arguments; overriding gifs and jpgs. For example:

Miscer: STFU ******* squats don't do shiit
Miscer #2: Stats 6'2" 160lbs

28) Useful information pertaining to Clive: 18 inch biceps (or "cliveceps") are the universal standard benchmark for all biceps. Speculation exists in some academic circles about the nature of Clive's biceps as to whether or not even Ronnie Coleman himself would admire Clives biceps.

29) Any thread, no matter the content, will reach 4-5 pages if made by a well-known user or troll - Germanic, Zyzz, franchise16, Forge3 for example. In fact, an untested Hypothesis says that a thread created by Zyzz containing just the letter "I" will reach 5 pages within 4 minutes in the Misc. This is sometimes called the Z-Page phenomenon.

30) All Miscers are professional fighters in at least one discipline. UFC, Karate, Boxing are the usual favourites. Similarly, all Miscers are able to beat each other up in a fight. Some Miscers claim to be 8th degree black belt from the shaolin temple of Affliction.

31) Spoons must accompany pictures or authenticity is questionnable.

These are just my findings, please feel free to add more.

Thank you for your time.