“That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even death may die.” - The Nameless City by HP Lovecraft
"The higher the prevalence of infectious diseases the higher the probability of totalitarian political attitudes."
-Dr. Jordan Peterson Sept 2017
"The search for a moral equivalent of war continues to define American Liberalism to this day."

-Not a mall Santa, but played the part at craft shows and school functions for a few years when I was in high school. Yeah, I know, a teen playing Santa in a drama club-caliber outfit sounds like a bad idea, but you would be amazed how many kids bought the line that my real suit was being cleaned to prepare for Christmas and that I needed a fake beard because I shaved for vacation with Mrs. Claus, but the real one would grow back by Christmas.

The two most memorable asks were at the same craft show, maybe 30 minutes apart. The second one came from a kid who was visiting with a group from, I think, a local home for folks with developmental disabilities. There were five or six kids in the group and most asked for pretty standard things, but the last one asked if I could make sure their dog got better. I panicked because, you know, Santa can handle bikes a whole lot easier than veterinary medicine.

I looked at one of the chaperones who was with him and she gave me a nod and a thumbs up, so I told the kid that I would do my very best, and if he kept being good then it would help his dog get better even faster. He lit up like a decorated tree! After we took a photo, the chaperone came over and told me that the dog was okay, but needed some procedure or another and would be back in a few days. It didn’t even hit me until later that he had asked for the dog to get better rather than something for himself. It was a very sweet and memorable ask of a very panicked Santa.

-6 years old, “I want to be happy.”

-I’m not a mall Santa, but I was Santa’s elf for 2 years when I was younger. I was the helping set up kids and getting them to smile, not the one taking pictures. The request thy brought tears to my eyes and that I still remember 10+ years later is the kid (6-7 years old) that asked if Santa could cure his mom’s cancer and make her happy again.

This kid didn’t want his mom to hear, so he’d asked me to get his mom to stand further away. Santa told him he didn’t think that was something the elves could make, they weren’t doctors after all. The kid just looked at him and told him he trusted him and the elves. Santa was a pretty stand-up guy, but even he looked stunned.

-So as a middle school teacher (6th-8th grade) – I have the prerequisite beard to be teaching history. Every year (before covid of course) I would spray/dye my hair, eyebrows, and beard white in order to put on a Santa costume and walk to the pre-k kids and hand out presents (that their parents already bought – and if not we bought for them). It was always the cutest thing and I loved doing it! I had the voice, the laugh…. the belly…. down to a pat! One year tho – as I walk in and do my normal “ho ho ho,” a little boy just looks at me and starts crying. Of course I could not let this stand, so I walk up to him, kneel, and ask what was wrong. He explained to me that he had hit his brother yesterday, and that his mom told him that Santa was going to put him on the naughty list and he wasn’t getting any presents. It took every ounce of me not to break character – so I joyfully laughed and asked if he apologized and was sorry – and he nodded vigorously. So I asked his name – and reached into my red sack and said “well golly look at this – it’s almost like I knew you were good all along.”

The smile on his face and the hug that followed will be something I will always remember and hold close to my heart.

-Not a mall santa but the equivalent in Belgium: Sinterklaas.

Once a kid asked me to stop bringing daddy beer. It was heartbreaking.

“That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even death may die.” - The Nameless City by HP Lovecraft
"The higher the prevalence of infectious diseases the higher the probability of totalitarian political attitudes."
-Dr. Jordan Peterson Sept 2017
"The search for a moral equivalent of war continues to define American Liberalism to this day."

6'2"

OMAD results: 2/15/19-235, 10/13/19-190

OHP-205 Bench- 245 Squat - 405 C&J - 245

2021 Spring cut: 195lbs starting weight

“That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even death may die.” - The Nameless City by HP Lovecraft
"The higher the prevalence of infectious diseases the higher the probability of totalitarian political attitudes."
-Dr. Jordan Peterson Sept 2017
"The search for a moral equivalent of war continues to define American Liberalism to this day."

do not read my posts and weep, i am not there i do not sleep
i am the thousand greens that rep, i am the ban bet dutifully kept
of memes and trolls in toasted breads, i am not there, i am not dead.

“That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even death may die.” - The Nameless City by HP Lovecraft
"The higher the prevalence of infectious diseases the higher the probability of totalitarian political attitudes."
-Dr. Jordan Peterson Sept 2017
"The search for a moral equivalent of war continues to define American Liberalism to this day."