First day off in 7 days, I wake up at 8:45am and head to the kitchen to make my first cup of coffee. We’re rocking a stainless steel french press, using dark Italian espresso beans for our caffeine high today.
We start by boiling .75 of a gallon of water on the stove top, and adding 1 cup of beans to our grinder.
Once the water is bubbling and our beans are freshly grounded, we pour the grinds into the French press and begin to pour the boiling water onto our coffee grounds.
All is well, your nasal cavity is engulfed in strong smelling, hair raising, blood pumpingly strong coffee.
As you begin to put your body weight in the plunger and the disk delves deeper into the French press, extracting glorious oils from the grounds, the air that “should” be released from the French press, instead becomes clogged from course grains.
Pressure builds in the press, with no where to go, but the open hole is the only option (unfortunately aimed at your body).
Burning, bubbling, steaming hot water shoots from the French press canister and onto my bare chest and arms.

Definite 2nd degree burn, the pain is rising every hour. Only relief I get is by applying a bag of frozen 8lb chicken wings to my chest and I’m 1.25 bottles of wine deep at 1:39pm to help ease the pain. My wrist is already inflamed and swollen and my purple chest is soon to follow. Pus filled blisters will engulf my body by tomorrow, no doubt.



My body is ready
I know it doesn’t look too bad, but goddamn this pain is gnarly

Dude go to a hospital lmao

If you say the pain is bad enough they might even hook you up

yeah that **** is going to suck for a while bro lol

burns are no fun

I really thought about heading to the ER, but it truly doesn’t look that bad, just purple at this point. If it’s not 3rd degree I reckon they’d just laugh at me and call me a poosy.

Yeah m8, probs won’t be able to hit the gym in a week or so unfortunately. Just when I got back in the 5day/wk grind too, fuk

If blisters form you're at a high risk of infection fyi

Holy schit brah, looks sore AF

Oh yeah bud. That’s gunna be fun tomorrow haha

Got bad burns on both hands a few months ago. Was really fun typing on the computer and lifting lol

Lmao this guy just repped me

“You’re supposed to bench press, not French press”


Thanks for the laugh m8

lol at baristacels, just do coke like a man.

Das it mane


Where’s brad when you need him