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Forum » holy chit the bible got some phukked up stories
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Thread: holy chit the bible got some phukked up stories

post 1636192783 04-14-2021, 11:13 AM
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holy chit the bible got some phukked up stories

so i got bored and started watching vids about the bible and this on part of the book of judges was phukked up

cliffs of the book
-guys concubine runs off back to her home
-guy goes and gets her back
-on the way back they stop at a town owned by the benjamites
-the town wants to rape the guy but he throws his concubine out instead
-they rape and torture her all night and she dies
-guy chops her up and sends it to other 12 tribes
-they all wage war on the benjamites and nearly wipe them out
-saddened by nearly wiping out one of the tribes they decided to wipe out another village that didnt come fight to get some sloots for the remaining benjamites to repopulate
-they also allow the ones who didnt get a wife to kidnap some sloots from a festival
-and the whole book was to push for a reason for a jewish monarch
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post 1636193113 04-14-2021, 11:16 AM
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There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled.

Ezekiel 23:20-21
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post 1636193783 04-14-2021, 11:24 AM
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post 1636194283 04-14-2021, 11:30 AM
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The OT is some brootal Iron Age war band chit all the way.

About the same time it was being written, the Israelites' neighbors (Assyrians) were covering their temples in flayed human skin. Shows you where their head space was at.
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post 1636195763 04-14-2021, 11:45 AM
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That's the master morality of the Old Testament.

For example, King David is often thought as wise, noble and kindly, but the truth is that he was ruthless and cold-blooded. His sling merely knocked Goliath unconscious, he then took Goliath's sword and beheaded Goliath. And I believe he also used Goliath's sword to kill Goliath's family.
Everything I post is satire.
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post 1636196013 04-14-2021, 11:48 AM
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Originally Posted By keyboardworkout⏩
There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled.

Ezekiel 23:20-21
Just lol if you aren't hung like a donkey and cum like a horse.
post 1636196083 04-14-2021, 11:49 AM
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Originally Posted By N0stradamus⏩
That's the master morality of the Old Testament.

For example, King David is often thought as wise, noble and kindly, but the truth is that he was ruthless and cold-blooded. His sling merely knocked Goliath unconscious, he then took Goliath's sword and beheaded Goliath. And I believe he also used Goliath's sword to kill Goliath's family.
Didn't he also kill one of his generals so he could fukk his wife?
post 1636197673 04-14-2021, 12:10 PM
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Originally Posted By FA*******⏩
The OT is some brootal Iron Age war band chit all the way.

About the same time it was being written, the Israelites' neighbors (Assyrians) were covering their temples in flayed human skin. Shows you where their head space was at.
JFL if you're not doing this to your house every weekend
post 1636197873 04-14-2021, 12:12 PM
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Bible is a good read actually. No religious.
post 1636198213 04-14-2021, 12:16 PM
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Wait till you get a look at Job.
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post 1636198593 04-14-2021, 12:20 PM
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lmao

There are some people out there that genuinely believe this horseschit too. Think about that. Grown adults with a fully formed cortex believing some bearded dude captured 2 ofevery single animalon this planet and that some sky daddy flooded the world. People actually look for the arc. That's how fuking stupid some human beings are.

Some interesting writing in the bible, though. Interesting read, pure fiction
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post 1636199193 04-14-2021, 12:28 PM
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Originally Posted By shoelaces⏩
Didn't he also kill one of his generals so he could fukk his wife?
I think he didn't personally kill him, just sent him on a suicide mission so he could pretend to be innocent of it all
Here's to swimmin' with bow-legged women.
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post 1636199453 04-14-2021, 12:33 PM
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Originally Posted By Train57⏩
so i got bored and started watching vids about the bible and this on part of the book of judges was phukked up

cliffs of the book
-guys concubine runs off back to her home
-guy goes and gets her back
-on the way back they stop at a town owned by the benjamites
-the town wants to rape the guy but he throws his concubine out instead
-they rape and torture her all night and she dies
-guy chops her up and sends it to other 12 tribes
-they all wage war on the benjamites and nearly wipe them out
-saddened by nearly wiping out one of the tribes they decided to wipe out another village that didnt come fight to get some sloots for the remaining benjamites to repopulate
-they also allow the ones who didnt get a wife to kidnap some sloots from a festival
-and the whole book was to push for a reason for a jewish monarch
Yeah I remember the speaker going over this passage while I was in church. Everyone was nodding their head like a brainwashed drone while I was like "wtf?"
post 1636199553 04-14-2021, 12:34 PM
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I've always like 2 Kings 2:23-24.

"From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!” 24 He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.
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post 1636199643 04-14-2021, 12:36 PM
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Got a tad bit boner reading that (srs)
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post 1636199663 04-14-2021, 12:36 PM
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Originally Posted By lightsarefallin⏩
lmao

There are some people out there that genuinely believe this horseschit too. Think about that. Grown adults with a fully formed cortex believing some bearded dude captured 2 ofevery single animalon this planet and that some sky daddy flooded the world. People actually look for the arc. That's how fuking stupid some human beings are.

Some interesting writing in the bible, though. Interesting read, pure fiction
With all the rape, slavery, pimping (see the story of Lott and the sodomites) it seems part of it may be true, minus the supernatural elements. Humans have been savagely raping and murdering (not always in that order) each other with great dedication for quite some time now. In the Old Testament there were descriptions of the slaughter of non-combatants to the point where "not even a cat was left alive." Sounds like the misc. Most of y'all are very first world and busy clutching your pearls over "sloots" wearing clothes or some chit, but I see y'all latent savagery every time one one of y'all tries to call me a troll (in the context of me telling the balls to the wall truth of my lived experiences.)
post 1636199683 04-14-2021, 12:36 PM
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Read the story of Lot. Daughters get him drunk so they can get pregnant.

Lol at taking these books as anything more than a Game of Thrones episode.
post 1636199973 04-14-2021, 12:40 PM
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Originally Posted By MegaSloot⏩
With all the rape, slavery, pimping (see the story of Lott and the sodomites) it seems part of it may be true, minus the supernatural elements. Humans have been savagely raping and murdering (not always in that order) each other with great dedication for quite some time now. In the Old Testament there were descriptions of the slaughter of non-combatants to the point where "not even a cat was left alive." Sounds like the misc. Most of y'all are very first world and busy clutching your pearls over "sloots" wearing clothes or some chit, but I see y'all latent savagery every time one one of y'all tries to call me a troll (in the context of me telling the balls to the wall truth of my lived experiences.)
I read that sloots naturally get wet as fuk when being raped. It's a defense mechanism but from years and year of brahs raping sloots. Das it mane.
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post 1636200723 04-14-2021, 12:49 PM
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Originally Posted By pengh⏩
I read that sloots naturally get wet as fuk when being raped. It's a defense mechanism but from years and year of brahs raping sloots. Das it mane.
rape typically causes damage cause they dry af and dude jams it in anyways.
post 1636201573 04-14-2021, 12:59 PM
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Didn't one of the OT prophets summon a bear to eat a group of kids alive because they made fun of him?
post 1636208713 04-14-2021, 02:30 PM
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Originally Posted By bradroepke⏩
I've always like 2 Kings 2:23-24.

"From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!” 24 He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.
lmao u gotta watch out for the baldcels
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post 1636208953 04-14-2021, 02:34 PM
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Originally Posted By N0stradamus⏩
That's the master morality of the Old Testament.

For example, King David is often thought as wise, noble and kindly, but the truth is that he was ruthless and cold-blooded. His sling merely knocked Goliath unconscious, he then took Goliath's sword and beheaded Goliath. And I believe he also used Goliath's sword to kill Goliath's family.
Not to mention king David sent his best friend into battle to die so he could have sex with his wife. David was a ruthless figure but is held in high regard.
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