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Forum » Here is the biggest career cope I have ever head [srs]
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Thread: Here is the biggest career cope I have ever head [srs]

post 1637740443 05-04-2021, 10:38 AM
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Here is the biggest career cope I have ever head [srs]

"I am in business."

- Timothy, Audit (Excel)

- Jack, Corporate Finance (a bit less Excel?)

- Gerald, Compliance (assistants of in-house lawyers)


If you recognise yourself, it is HIGHLY advisable that you rope.
communist until you get rich
rightwing until financially secure
atheist until the plane starts falling
slootist until you get married
muslim after you get married
post 1637740573 05-04-2021, 10:40 AM
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#2
  1. rjthegreat10
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Doesn’t beat sandwich artist.
post 1637740703 05-04-2021, 10:42 AM
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  1. Beast92
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“I am in big tech”

- kumar, Tech support analyst (contract work) for ******** in Bangalore
- John, SWE intern for DoorDash in Austin
post 1637741003 05-04-2021, 10:46 AM
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  1. Polaris
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Yeah, audit and finance are spreadsheet tradies.
post 1637741183 05-04-2021, 10:48 AM
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Post deleted by user
post 1637741223 05-04-2021, 10:49 AM
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  1. lolatpaniccels
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Originally Posted By Beast92⏩
“I am in big tech”

- kumar, Tech support analyst (contract work) for ******** in Bangalore
- John, SWE intern for DoorDash in Austin
yeah, and you're a "Chief Human Resources Officer for a Fortune 500" right?
post 1637741383 05-04-2021, 10:51 AM
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#7
  1. N0stradamus
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Yes, I'm an office-cuck excel goon... but hey, as long as I get a paycheck for wiggling my mouse every 15 minutes, I'm fine...
Everything I post is satire.
Tricknology Grand Master.
post 1637741393 05-04-2021, 10:51 AM
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  1. atgbrahsrs
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Originally Posted By Beast92⏩
“I am in big tech”

- kumar, Tech support analyst (contract work) for ******** in Bangalore
- John, SWE intern for DoorDash in Austin
Absolutely brutal supplemental material in this post.


"Accounting is good for some people like me"

- Brad, who realises that although accounting can seem preppy, it is neurologically impossible to be satisfied with the day-to-day of that thing (for most people) as it is structured, repetitive and has a cog-in-machine existence
communist until you get rich
rightwing until financially secure
atheist until the plane starts falling
slootist until you get married
muslim after you get married
post 1637741783 05-04-2021, 10:55 AM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
At this point I just lmao at any career.

Only exception is if you make BIG bank AND get out after short to medium term.
do you live on welfare?
communist until you get rich
rightwing until financially secure
atheist until the plane starts falling
slootist until you get married
muslim after you get married
post 1637741903 05-04-2021, 10:57 AM
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Independent Business Owner - Amway cuck
post 1637741943 05-04-2021, 10:57 AM
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Originally Posted By SuperHercules⏩
"I'm in finance"

- Brad, telemarketer cold calling businesses
came in to post this, minus the Brad part bc he's the homie


(ded fkn Srs)



"I'm in finance" or "I'm in real estate" - - 9/10 times these these guys are accountants or brokers who want to kill themselves
~focus on what you can control crew~
~flaccid cummer crew~
~you are who you surround yourself with crew~
~mum was an escort crew~
~nothing is permanent so just enjoy the ride crew~
~2.5 inch dink crew~
~Forgive yourself crew~
~Accused of incest by extended family crew~
~It's up to you to fix your life crew~
~deep, sustained sexual eye contact with your own nephew crew~
post 1637742443 05-04-2021, 11:04 AM
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Originally Posted By atgbrahsrs⏩
do you live on welfare?
she gets pumped and dumped by different losers and probably stays at their place with each cuck until they realize what a horrible person she is and kick her out. Then hops onto the next loser.
post 1637743163 05-04-2021, 11:15 AM
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Originally Posted By lolatpaniccels⏩
she gets pumped and dumped by different losers and probably stays at their place with each cuck until they realize what a horrible person she is and kick her out. Then hops onto the next loser.
jesus, imagine the life of the average american corporatecel

you have to delude urself you are some high flyer in finance but you are in treasury

then u date silencespeaks - a crusty smelly anglo abomination

has China won?
communist until you get rich
rightwing until financially secure
atheist until the plane starts falling
slootist until you get married
muslim after you get married
post 1637744323 05-04-2021, 11:30 AM
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#14
  1. atgbrahsrs
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Originally Posted By RealLifeAlpha⏩
came in to post this, minus the Brad part bc he's the homie


(ded fkn Srs)



"I'm in finance" or "I'm in real estate" - - 9/10 times these these guys are accountants or brokers who want to kill themselves
what is even a broker|?

srs

I don't understand the corporate world it is incredibly confusing probably to lock you down and break you

brb sales brb finance brb insurance

JFL!
communist until you get rich
rightwing until financially secure
atheist until the plane starts falling
slootist until you get married
muslim after you get married
post 1637745343 05-04-2021, 11:42 AM
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Sanitation Engineer - Janitor at Mcdonalds.
post 1637745693 05-04-2021, 11:47 AM
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Originally Posted By atgbrahsrs⏩
do you live on welfare?
She lives on alimony from her ex that left her.
post 1637746263 05-04-2021, 11:54 AM
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just lol if you are anything other than "Chief Diversity Officer"

just lol if when you interview for Chief Diversity Officer the convo doesn't go as follows:

CEO: Why should we hire you as CDO?
You: You shouldn't. I want your job n***a
CEO: hahahaha
You: [bert stare]
CEO: [realizes you weren't joking, gets very nervous] uh, haha, yeah, well I definitely think you are qualified and maybe we can start you here and in a few years once you get integrated into the office culture we can work on transitioning me out and getting you in as CEO.
You: [bert stare]
CEO: [very nervous at this point] I definitely think we want to get you on the fast track for my job, as that is the right thing to do to right all of the years of wrong and oppression
You: [bert stare]
CEO: ummm, oh yeah, we also want to increase your salary 50K above what we posted and offer you some equity. Will you pleeeease take the job??
You: aighhht, see you monday


*Note the above only works if you are a POC
** Note, for maximum effect, have a bachelors degree in Sociology from a state school with a median GPA, and have no clue about business etc.
mo e
post 1637747083 05-04-2021, 12:04 PM
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Secretary - You gotta pretend like you do stuff but actually you just gotta bend over the desk or suck off the boss at command.
post 1637747323 05-04-2021, 12:06 PM
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jakes on you everybody on misc is on dat dere ceo $10k/day
post 1637747463 05-04-2021, 12:08 PM
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Aren't most employed people 'in business' if they use the terminology this loosely.

A maconalds worker can claim he's 'in business'
post 1637747633 05-04-2021, 12:10 PM
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#21
  1. atgbrahsrs
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Originally Posted By TappingTheZen⏩
Aren't most employed people 'in business' if they use the terminology this loosely.

A maconalds worker can claim he's 'in business'
pretty much


accounting is a data scientist tbh
































of pivot tables
communist until you get rich
rightwing until financially secure
atheist until the plane starts falling
slootist until you get married
muslim after you get married
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