Me and my girl were discussing this recently. We both have had a harder time connecting like we used to with our high school/college friends for whatever reason. Still hang with them occasionally, nothing like it used to be, but honestly the things we like to do arent the same as them anymore.

Plus I'll be honest most of our friends are white, and they just aren't into the same chit as we are. They want to go to breweries constantly, or play Cornhole with their neighbors, or play coed softball and drink beer. Idk those things are fun, but not my vibe as I get older


Who can relate on any sort of level?

What are friends?

This is the beginning of the end. Sounds like you're outgrowing your peer group.

You have two options.
1. Break up and find a chick with some cool friends
2. Get married, have kids, and chill with married folks w/kids.

Option 2 seems like the direction most go towards. Chit is terrible

A lot of my close friends are building their life in other parts of the US. Sad to say my closest friends probably live the furthest away from me. I've noticed it's harder to meet up with friends because life and its priorities get in the way so you have to MAKE time for your friends. That's why occasions like weddings, bachelor parties, etc I've been making more of an effort to attend them and also travel to spend time with friends and their milestones in life.

Day to day though you have to make friends with those in your community. For the most part I'm satisfied with the group of my friends. Honestly the older I get the less white friends I have to your point for one reason or another. Politically my friends are across the spectrum but not extreme in any way. Most of my guy friends are dedicated to their family, career, etc. Conversations surround investing, side endeavors, projects which I like. Female friends tend to be in serious relationships or married. I prefer to be around people who intellectually challenge me and force me to grow into a better person.People self segregate. I have single friends but it seems like I do more couples stuff because it's easier I guess if you have a family and are in a similar phase of life it's easier to build a social circle. I still invite my single friends out if we do stuff that is more sociable and not a date but some decline. When I was single I'd see my married friends with kids only when there was a birthday or a kid's birthday so it became a family event.

I will still do stuff 1:1 with friends but our activities have become more couples stuff, like tonight my GF and I are going to a slam poetry event with another couple. I think my friends outside of that I meet through hobbies whether shooting, lifting or other stuff. She has her cycling friends.

Jaydawg it sounds like you've outgrown your friends and their activities.

I agree with this, the hardest part is now having to MAKE time to hang instead of always having it. People got wives, kids, careers.. gone are the days of just casually coming over after work or for the game.

Couple things is now the go-to. But not getting invited to a friend's kids 5th bday cause we don't have any kind of sucks but is life.

Honestly I’ve been blowing them out for a few months now

Lockdown made me a couch potato and i just don’t really wanna socialise

Too much effort when you live with people you enjoy tbh

Feels

I use to do hang out with one person all the time. Met him as interns in a job as college and we both went to the same college. Over the years, he became a whiny sensitive lil hypocritical bitch. He would complain about stupid **** like, I don't look at him when I talk even if I listened to him but then he would do the same thing to me. He would also make racist jokes but then if I made one back, he would call me the racist instead.

And then when we disagreed on politics it was over and he removed me from all of his social media, even removed connection on LinkedIn lol.

You guys are a better friend group than all my old childhood friends. Most turned into degenerate alcoholics. They type of Toxic People you just need to cut out of your life.

My friends from childhood pretty much all moved up in social class and don't seem to want to talk. Understandable since there are people who would be unjust, and why trust some person from your past? I get it, I guess. There are some I haven't' been able to locate. ******** got started right after I graduated from high school so I kind of missed out on the experience of growing up online with others. It's hard for people to get what life was like before everyone had a cell phone. For me, turning 18 was a hell on earth because the dude I was living with no longer had to register as a sex offender. I became a social pariah because I spoke the truth about how I grew up.
I think a change of scene might change up my life. Or maybe not. I'm ready to be disappointed again, but it stands to reason that going from the boonies into a more populated area would have a big impact on one's ability to integrate with others. The ratio of unkind people to people one likes stays the same, but because there are more people there are more nice people. I kind of hope I can move sometime. I have some tentative plans after wasting 21 years of my youth in a place I don't particularly like.
OP, sometimes one has to kind of cannon ball right into a social scene. It's not always fun because people can say such hurtful things, but maybe its worth it to give your friends more of a chance. Sometimes if you let yourself get into a game of sports it can be fun. If that doesn't work, the failsafe is football. You could literally not have a brain and still be able to enjoy watching a game of football with someone else. Maybe try that. But don't fade from view.

my closest group sucks. just found out these ****ers have a separate text group and essentially have alienated me due to jealously. i knew something was up 5 yrs ago. i started to distance myself and built a life that i'm happy with. they reach out the other day and we hung out. different vibe though. having a good job will do wonders to the people around you. fuk em

Why did they do that? What would spark the jealousy?

I have one friend from high school that I'm willing to put in the effort to stay in touch with. I've picked up a number of acquaintances since then, but no one I regularly stay in touch with. There are a bunch of old high school friends that I will talk to for hours, given the chance if I happen to run into them, but only the one I talk to regularly.

It's ok with me. I really don't have the time to maintain friendships with more people. Between work and family my time is pretty booked up.

The only use for having friends, is to use them for your own personal gain

Most compatible group are scattered across the US.

My 3 closest friends are all fathers now (last 1 will be in a few months). 1 of them has completely bailed on anything outside of group texts.


Other friends like going to clubs and getting trashed hardcore. I still go out with them but I can't keep up anymore. Limit myself to seeing them once a week.

4/10

hnng

It's tough. My homies from the neighborhood all grew up and while they aren't losers, they are just kind of dorks. All of them are single. I only have basically two friends I do couples things with me and my gf. Two of them are mid 30s and still live at home single, dont even try to change their lifestyles. I just feel bad honestly and wish I could help but at this point it's like hopeless.

They basically just hang out and smoke weed every day. This summer we all got into electric skateboarding which has been great cause at least it gets their stoner asses outta the garage.

I also feel like I don't relate to my friends who have had kids cause me and my gf don't want kids. So it's weird. My gf and I mostly hang out together at this point since we fall in between the friends who are single and boring and the friends who have kids and are too busy or just don't invite us cause it's kid stuff.

We've done some more organized fun group activities this summer tho which has been cool. Hoping these nerds come out of their shells a little bit.

A lot have come and gone over the years. Even my closest friends or relatives I only see once or twice a year it seems. But when I do see old friends, it's like time hasn't passed which is a nice feeling.

Have always struggled to find new friends or connections, so the friends I do make are pretty special to me and I appreciate the quality time spent when it happens for sure. I really only keep around the best of people and friends that are friends for a reason, not just to party or drink. Every now and then I don't reach out to people if I don't feel like quality time was spent or they don't seem to value their time and sure enough, those people fade out of your life.

But Quality>Quantity.

Very much prefer being alone, as long as I have a woman or two I’m set. Whatever part of the brain enjoys socializing I was born without it

do your white friends know you're a racist?

As in not going out

Chit, that’s twice in one day

I said loads earlier (meaning many).

You lot should learn to speak English

Don’t have any friends, even my family hates me. Not even sure what friend means. Never had a friend crew (srs)

I don't have friends either. That's why I misc 🙃

Lol @ needing friends as an adult. Everything is a transaction.

I used to have a friend zone in high school and college but im 27 now and its currently a ghost town lol