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Forum » What's a useful but uncomfortable truth you wish somebody told you? (srs)
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Thread: What's a useful but uncomfortable truth you wish somebody told you? (srs)

post 1644019663 07-31-2021, 07:33 PM
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What's a useful but uncomfortable truth you wish somebody told you? (srs)

For me it's that relationships with acquaintances and coworkers, people you may not necessarily like, matter a lot.

Throughout most of college I never talked much to my professors because I always figured asking for help was a sign of weakness.

Midway through my junior year the guy who was #1 in the class above me told me the secret to his excellent grades was always going to office hours.

He said professors would often straight up give him the answers to homework and even tell him what would be on the test which blew my fukking mind at the time.

Tried it for myself and it was true. It's easy to get good grades when the professor's mentoring you 1-on-1 and wants to see you succeed.

Same thing goes for office relationships.

I'm a boss myself and it's extremely difficult to give a bad evaluation to someone you know personally and like, and extremely easy to give a mediocre evaluation to someone who busts their ass but has poor interpersonal skills.
post 1644019853 07-31-2021, 07:35 PM
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How diametrically differently people in different classes act.

I would forget my ideas and focus on connecting to and working in networks of similar classes of people to myself or classes I would want to work with.

There is no trick or way to game yourself to change the demographics of the people around you as much as slotting in with demographics you find suitable.
post 1644019943 07-31-2021, 07:37 PM
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post 1644020073 07-31-2021, 07:39 PM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
Marriage/divorce is a financial transaction and should be treated as such

He’s not yours it’s just your turn

Sloots gonna sloot
Common Sense
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post 1644020433 07-31-2021, 07:47 PM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
Marriage/divorce is a financial transaction and should be treated as such

He’s not yours it’s just your turn

Sloots gonna sloot
That's exactly why it didn't work out

This is coming from someone raised in a traditional household

For many, marriage is a sacred thing and the foundation of a family
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post 1644020523 07-31-2021, 07:50 PM
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Originally Posted By iloveus⏩
Common Sense
Not that common really.

Seems like a lot of people I know just settle down with whoever they happened to be with in their late 20s

Or whoever they knocked up/got knocked up by

Or whoever fukked them the best (before the emotions went away and the sex dried up)

Most people seem to get married because they like they other person at the time. They don't think about things like shared values, child-raising philosophies, levels of ambition,money and their partner's habits surrounding it.
Originally Posted By BeanGainClovis⏩
That's exactly why it didn't work out

This is coming from someone raised in a traditional household

For many, marriage is a sacred thing and the foundation of a family
Just because its sacred doesn't mean it's not transactional. There's nothing wrong with selecting your partner based on shared levels of wealth, class, similar experiences. If you're getting married you had better go in with your eyes open about they way you both are going to spend money and spend time with kids/family.
post 1644020713 07-31-2021, 07:54 PM
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top 99% of women go for the top 1% of men.

bottom 99% of men compete for the bottom 1% of women
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post 1644020783 07-31-2021, 07:55 PM
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Here are some uncomfortable truths that are hard to accept:

The government is corrupt.

Money does not buy happiness.

Success is difficult.

Good things require hard work.

Lies have repercussions.

Dat dere OJ has nasty sides and will take years off your life.
Beans. Cleans. Gasoline.
post 1644020983 07-31-2021, 07:59 PM
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Originally Posted By BLOATMOGGER⏩
Just because its sacred doesn't mean it's not transactional. There's nothing wrong with selecting your partner based on shared levels of wealth, class, similar experiences. If you're getting married you had better go in with your eyes open about they way you both are going to spend money and spend time with kids/family.
If it's transactional then it's not sacred or even about love.

Getting married for money just sounds like a recipe for unhappiness.

Remember it's your choice in who you marry and why.

Of course a man should provide for his kids, but the marriage shouldn't be about money.

This is why so many people have unhappy marriages, because they place materialism/money/status/etc over love.

That's the same reason why divorce rates are so high among wealthy people.
Beans. Cleans. Gasoline.
post 1644021193 07-31-2021, 08:04 PM
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That women are hoes and gotta be treated as such. I was raised being told the complete opposite and it took too damn long to find out
post 1644021273 07-31-2021, 08:05 PM
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Writing is a craft, not a hustle. People who get into writing for money usually always fail. People who write for the love of the craft are usually better writers.

That being said, there comes a point when being motivated by money can help you to write consistently. If no money was involved, you would procrastinate. When you know you’ll make money from your writing, you’re more likely to write consistently.
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post 1644021353 07-31-2021, 08:07 PM
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Originally Posted By JuicedMayhem⏩
That women are hoes and gotta be treated as such. I was raised being told the complete opposite and it took too damn long to find out
A hoe is a more polite word for whore, and that's a woman who trades sex for money.

Would you use that word to describe your mom?

Hoes are a dime a dozen, but one good woman is worth a million hoes.
Beans. Cleans. Gasoline.
post 1644021433 07-31-2021, 08:08 PM
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Originally Posted By BeanGainClovis⏩
A hoe is a more polite word for whore, and that's a woman who trades sex for money.

Would you use that word to describe your mom?
.
In a sense yes
post 1644021533 07-31-2021, 08:11 PM
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Originally Posted By BeanGainClovis⏩
If it's transactional then it's not sacred or even about love.

Getting married for money just sounds like a recipe for unhappiness.

Remember it's your choice in who you marry and why.

Of course a man should provide for his kids, but the marriage shouldn't be about money.

This is why so many people have unhappy marriages, because they place materialism/money/status/etc over love.

That's the same reason why divorce rates are so high among wealthy people.
Like it or not, marriage is first and foremost a business transaction.

If you love someone you can live with them forever, have kids with them, spend your life together without getting married.

While there are some other changes,the primary effect of going to the courthouse and signing on the dotted line is a change in the way your assets, taxes, and debts are treated by the government
post 1644021583 07-31-2021, 08:12 PM
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Originally Posted By TheFitLord⏩
Writing is a craft, not a hustle. People who get into writing for money usually always fail. People who write for the love of the craft are usually better writers.

That being said, there comes a point when being motivated by money can help you to write consistently. If no money was involved, you would procrastinate. When you know you’ll make money from your writing, you’re more likely to write consistently.
I write purely for money, and I approach it as a craft and not a creative art form.

I only succeeded because I got into it for money, not trying to push my pet creative writing project.

People who write for the love of writing definitely produce great creative works, and they don't have to make money on it.

I definitely enjoy my work, but in the end it's work. To me, work is about making a living. A craft is about making a living as well.

I can respect people who approach it as artists, but I don't write fiction myself.
Beans. Cleans. Gasoline.
post 1644021703 07-31-2021, 08:15 PM
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Originally Posted By BLOATMOGGER⏩
Like it or not, marriage is first and foremost a business transaction.
This is the saddest thing I've read all week, go ahead and live your life your way and see how that works out for you.

I will just live my life my way, because I get my values from my family and traditions and not strangers on the internet.

Maybe one day you will see that not everyone lives or thinks the same way as you do.
Beans. Cleans. Gasoline.
post 1644022243 07-31-2021, 08:24 PM
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Agree with that point. I got my internship due to having a good relationship with my professors - which in turn also made me the top student in almost every class lol.
post 1644022293 07-31-2021, 08:25 PM
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post 1644022673 07-31-2021, 08:35 PM
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1. Social relationships are glorified transactions (I'll give you my time if you give me entertaining conversation). People only care about what you can provide for them, and if something changes and you can no longer provide that, you'll be discarded in the same way as a broken watch.

2. Money and appearance matter a lot more than we're told as children. Personality is what matters, but personality traits are perceived differently depending on how rich/ attractive you are

3. Genetic determinism largely opposes free will. Free will gives you decisions, but the magnitude and scope of those decisions are limited by genes. Genetic predisposition to depression can mean that you'll be depressed even if you have no apparent reason to. People only see the outside you, not the inside you, and so they probably won't understand and just assume you're weak.
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post 1644022823 07-31-2021, 08:38 PM
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to add:

Jordan Peterson's best advice is decent.

Hedge yourself because lots can go wrong in the tragedy of life.
Stop saying things that make you weaker.

I will add, do not put off life for the future. Not like an uncivilized criminal, just, realize your development, life and future is now. Do not accept a compromise to put this off.

The main thing is still to connect to the right network. Nothing beats demographics.
post 1644023033 07-31-2021, 08:42 PM
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Originally Posted By mesobuild⏩
Jordan Peterson's best advice is decent.

Hedge yourself because lots can go wrong in the tragedy of life.
Stop saying things that make you weaker.
Woah, I actually read that in my head with his cracked voice, voodoo
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post 1644023233 07-31-2021, 08:45 PM
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Originally Posted By BLOATMOGGER⏩
For me it's that relationships with acquaintances and coworkers, people you may not necessarily like, matter a lot.

Throughout most of college I never talked much to my professors because I always figured asking for help was a sign of weakness.

Midway through my junior year the guy who was #1 in the class above me told me the secret to his excellent grades was always going to office hours.

He said professors would often straight up give him the answers to homework and even tell him what would be on the test which blew my fukking mind at the time.

Tried it for myself and it was true. It's easy to get good grades when the professor's mentoring you 1-on-1 and wants to see you succeed.

Same thing goes for office relationships.

I'm a boss myself and it's extremely difficult to give a bad evaluation to someone you know personally and like, and extremely easy to give a mediocre evaluation to someone who busts their ass but has poor interpersonal skills.
there are many truths i wish i had been told from the very beginning, and this is one perfect example. if you want to succeed you need to be able to work with people you may not necessarily like. and its incredibly beneficial if you can make them like you.
Originally Posted By JuicedMayhem⏩
That women are hoes and gotta be treated as such. I was raised being told the complete opposite and it took too damn long to find out
i get the point youre making but imo it would be better to say people in general are just selfish. if youre a simp women will use you and you should never be dependent on anyone else for happiness. treat a girl like shes youre #1 priority and shel lose interest real fast. treat her good but have an edge of apathy and distance and shel obsess over you, especially if you put self improvement as a priority above her.
Originally Posted By BeanGainClovis⏩
Here are some uncomfortable truths that are hard to accept:

The government is corrupt.

Money does not buy happiness.

Success is difficult.

Good things require hard work.

Lies have repercussions.
this too, but money is necessary to live a good life.
Merica

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RIP YGST
post 1644023733 07-31-2021, 08:55 PM
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Mcdonalds is garbage
post 1644023843 07-31-2021, 08:56 PM
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Originally Posted By vulgoo⏩
Mcdonalds is garbage
I don't think anyone should have to tell you this one...
post 1644024023 07-31-2021, 08:58 PM
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Most people don't care about you. In fact they rather see you hurt. It's not because they are bad people but seing you fail or hurt makes them feel better about their situation.

Going above and beyond doesn't get you ahead. Management promotes who they like.
post 1644024533 07-31-2021, 09:08 PM
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Post deleted by user
post 1644024603 07-31-2021, 09:09 PM
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Originally Posted By Jasonw1178⏩
Most people don't care about you. In fact they rather see you hurt. It's not because they are bad people but seing you fail or hurt makes them feel better about their situation.
100% of unsuccessful will do this.
post 1644024773 07-31-2021, 09:11 PM
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Unless you own the business, you are just working to make someone else rich

Ownership isn't just the thing
It's the only thing
post 1644024963 07-31-2021, 09:13 PM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
Ya I got married for love and look how that turned out. Now I’m in my forties and divorced. Love is just not enough for marriage.
Shut the fuk up no one cares.
Why you do you have to make every God dam thread about yourself you washed up wrinkly thot

Get over it. You are used goods. Washed up. Done. No one wants that ****
post 1644025383 07-31-2021, 09:22 PM
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People only ever care about how you make them feel - if you can figure somebody out and make them feel good, you're golden.

Inverse is also true where if you don't make somebody feel good, they actually won't like you.

Hence why people struggle socially, etc.
"It's hard to be yourself in a world filled with haters" - WiseOldApe.

"Why be anything when you can be an influencer?" - WiseOldApe.

"It's not about what is said - it's about who it is said by" - WiseOldApe.
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