Forum
»
Having problems out of our son, discipline?
- Results 1 to 23 of 23
-
Page 1 of 1
01-05-2022, 06:28 AM
-
#1
- progressive
- Registered User
-
- progressive
- Registered User
- Join Date: Apr 2003
- Age: 43
- Posts: 2,089
- Rep Power: 1830
-
-
Having problems out of our son, discipline?
For the past few months since he started 8th grade we've noticed a change. He's 14 btw.
It started out by hanging with the wrong guys, he came home and could smell alcohol on him this was in the fall when he wentto a bonfire. Recently found Marijuana in his bag from school. Found condoms in his bag which are the least of my worries.
Where should I start? What should I do? My dad would have taken a belt to my ass before it got to this point? Should I try corporal punishment? Would it help in anyway...I'm doubtful. But will try anything.
It started out by hanging with the wrong guys, he came home and could smell alcohol on him this was in the fall when he wentto a bonfire. Recently found Marijuana in his bag from school. Found condoms in his bag which are the least of my worries.
Where should I start? What should I do? My dad would have taken a belt to my ass before it got to this point? Should I try corporal punishment? Would it help in anyway...I'm doubtful. But will try anything.
I AM THE MAN!
01-05-2022, 06:36 AM
-
#2
- DesiredUserphag
- 1:12TilTheDayIFukinDie
-
- DesiredUserphag
- 1:12TilTheDayIFukinDie
- Join Date: Sep 2014
- Posts: 40,176
- Rep Power: 397140
-
-
Since a belt to the ass is now child abuse (I got belted/spanked and it worked wonders)... I would talk to him about how the road he's going down isn't a good one and he needs to realize the consequences of doing drugs/drinking/etc at a young age.
Another reason I'll never have kids. Best of luck boyo
Another reason I'll never have kids. Best of luck boyo
𝗣𝗨𝗥𝗘𝗕𝗟𝗢𝗢𝗗
ωσяℓ∂ тяανєℓєя ȼяєω ₅₀/₁₉₅
𝕬𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖙𝖎𝖈𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖞 𝕮𝖚𝖙 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕽𝖆𝖈𝖊 ®
ᗪIᔕᑕᖇIᗰIᑎᗩTIOᑎ E᙭ᑕᒪᑌᔕIOᑎ IᑎᗪOᑕTᖇIᑎᗩTIOᑎ
01-05-2022, 06:37 AM
-
#3
- dontstopbelief
- Registered User
-
- dontstopbelief
- Registered User
- Join Date: May 2019
- Age: 56
- Posts: 5,203
- Rep Power: 21420
-
-
Lack of alpha male father in the house to lead the son on the right path.
Username "progressive' checks out, cuck confirmed.
Username "progressive' checks out, cuck confirmed.
01-05-2022, 06:43 AM
-
#4
01-05-2022, 06:46 AM
-
#5
- SteinerSteve
- Tanned
-
- SteinerSteve
- Tanned
- Join Date: Mar 2018
- Posts: 1,302
- Rep Power: 12413
-
-
welcome to the new genration of teens
its already too late to just talk him into being a better kid. if you have the wrong friends already you either get bullied for quitting their friendships or you have to do everything they do to stay in the group.
if you really want to do something, you'd need to make a DRASTIC change.
First would be punishment at home, like cutting his internet off and giving him a retro phone were you could only sms and call (works wonders these days kids gonna be all kind of nice to get their fuking smartphones back)
Second is to look out for another school because of the above problem. He can't just quit with the people he's already in. And those seem to most likley have a dealer in their social circle too.
But to be fair you have to make sure he never ever gets in touch with the wrong people again. maybe you should set him up, so he sees they don't care about him if its going rough.
Good luck OP I'm glad I don't have kids these days srs
its already too late to just talk him into being a better kid. if you have the wrong friends already you either get bullied for quitting their friendships or you have to do everything they do to stay in the group.
if you really want to do something, you'd need to make a DRASTIC change.
First would be punishment at home, like cutting his internet off and giving him a retro phone were you could only sms and call (works wonders these days kids gonna be all kind of nice to get their fuking smartphones back)
Second is to look out for another school because of the above problem. He can't just quit with the people he's already in. And those seem to most likley have a dealer in their social circle too.
But to be fair you have to make sure he never ever gets in touch with the wrong people again. maybe you should set him up, so he sees they don't care about him if its going rough.
Good luck OP I'm glad I don't have kids these days srs
Veni Vidi Vici MMXI
01-05-2022, 06:48 AM
-
#6
01-05-2022, 06:48 AM
-
#7
- exxtracool
- Registered User
-
- exxtracool
- Registered User
- Join Date: Jan 2018
- Location: Canada
- Age: 34
- Posts: 20,766
- Rep Power: 77972
-
-
Military school
01-05-2022, 06:52 AM
-
#8
- rectifryer
- enlightened
-
- rectifryer
- enlightened
- Join Date: Sep 2012
- Posts: 25,634
- Rep Power: 208783
-
-
Eh you gotta keep your kid engaged. Maybe you did that and he still found the wrong group?? Moving may not help with that if he just finds the same people again, but if you move AND keep him distracted you have a chance.
Boycott foodservice industry crew
01-05-2022, 06:56 AM
-
#9
He doesn’t respect you, take him into the streets & have a knife fight to determine the alpha of the house. Don’t worry, it’s “mutual combat” & perfectly acceptable.
ANTI ANTIFA WORLDWIDE - DESTROY THE RED SCUM
01-05-2022, 06:57 AM
-
#10
- kcadrenalin
- Permanent Vacation
-
- kcadrenalin
- Permanent Vacation
- Join Date: Jun 2007
- Posts: 24,727
- Rep Power: 349124
-
-
At 14 it's probably a little too late to start using corporal punishment if you haven't been doing it all along. I think I was 12ish was when my dad quit using a belt for punishment and switched to things like grounding me, removed things that I enjoyed, etc.
Loss of freedom for me was the worst punishment's I could get. Way worse than taking a beating. Good luck. There are no easy answers. Whatever you decide to do, be consistent.
Loss of freedom for me was the worst punishment's I could get. Way worse than taking a beating. Good luck. There are no easy answers. Whatever you decide to do, be consistent.
________
MFC
________
Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote. -Benjamin Franklin
Tits and Beer
01-05-2022, 07:08 AM
-
#11
- EagleOfWar
- Registered User
-
- EagleOfWar
- Registered User
- Join Date: Feb 2011
- Posts: 15,643
- Rep Power: 107090
-
-
Idk about everyone but my dad used to beat tf out of me with a belt very often and when I got around that age I still did that stuff. It’s 100% the people he’s hanging out with.
This body holding me, be my reminder here that I am not alone.
Makes me feel eternal, all this Pain is an Illusion.
01-05-2022, 07:08 AM
-
#12
try lifting with him srs.
get him in the gym, around people with actual goals, and get him to recognize that drugs & alcohol aren't going to help him reach any goals in life and especially as he goes into high school next year all of his actions (or inaction) are going to affect the next years of his life tremendously.
if that doesn't work - tell him if he's gonna drink, then he's going to do it at home where you know he's safe or you're going to beat his ass.
get him in the gym, around people with actual goals, and get him to recognize that drugs & alcohol aren't going to help him reach any goals in life and especially as he goes into high school next year all of his actions (or inaction) are going to affect the next years of his life tremendously.
if that doesn't work - tell him if he's gonna drink, then he's going to do it at home where you know he's safe or you're going to beat his ass.
Positivity crew
01-05-2022, 07:10 AM
-
#13
- SteinerSteve
- Tanned
-
- SteinerSteve
- Tanned
- Join Date: Mar 2018
- Posts: 1,302
- Rep Power: 12413
-
-
Originally Posted By Komisch⏩
Inb4 taking Roids with 15try lifting with him srs.
get him in the gym, around people with actual goals, and get him to recognize that drugs & alcohol aren't going to help him reach any goals in life and especially as he goes into high school next year all of his actions (or inaction) are going to affect the next years of his life tremendously.
if that doesn't work - tell him if he's gonna drink, then he's going to do it at home where you know he's safe or you're going to beat his ass.
get him in the gym, around people with actual goals, and get him to recognize that drugs & alcohol aren't going to help him reach any goals in life and especially as he goes into high school next year all of his actions (or inaction) are going to affect the next years of his life tremendously.
if that doesn't work - tell him if he's gonna drink, then he's going to do it at home where you know he's safe or you're going to beat his ass.
Veni Vidi Vici MMXI
01-05-2022, 07:13 AM
-
#14
- jmal2000
- Short for a Manmore
-
- jmal2000
- Short for a Manmore
- Join Date: Mar 2009
- Location: Arizona, United States
- Age: 39
- Posts: 9,658
- Rep Power: 55128
-
-
I wasn't really discipline for a kid but I do remember thinking I wish my parents had punished me for getting bad grades.
You are your thoughts. Life is perception, thoughts are perception, perception is reality ergo thoughts are reality, I think therefore I am.
08/08/2011. the day the aesthetics died. never forget.
(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ・。*。✧・゜゜・。 ✧。*・゜
░▒▓█ Read my paper █▓▒░
https://www.reddit.com/r/SchoolOfShadows/comments/1awjjjb/paper_on_life_life_is_addition_theory_v15/
01-05-2022, 07:14 AM
-
#15
- Silencespeaks
- Banned
-
- Silencespeaks
- Banned
- Join Date: Aug 2015
- Posts: 114,138
- Rep Power: 0
-
-
Post deleted by user
01-05-2022, 07:16 AM
-
#16
- JUGGERNAUT1333
- Vin Diesel Brah
-
- JUGGERNAUT1333
- Vin Diesel Brah
- Join Date: Jun 2014
- Posts: 27,542
- Rep Power: 292873
-
-
That is a hard spot to be in at 14. I can't give you advice because every child is different. I have two kids and I have to approach discipline completely different ways based on whats effective for each.
If I was in your spot, I would sit down and have a very serious conversation with him. I wouldn't be as concerned with the alcohol/weed by itself, but mixing with the wrong crowd is the area I'd focus on. Explain that it isn't the booze/weed that has you concerned, it's the fact that he's hanging around with poor influences.
Hang around 5 wealthy people and you'll most likely become a wealthy person..... hang around 5 scumbags you become a scumbag....It's very hard to get this chit across to young kinds who can't see past tomorrow and think they are invincible. We've all been there. If your kid isn't the type to respond to a respectful discussion, then maybe harsh punishment/loss of freedoms is whats needed.
It just really depends on the kid
If I was in your spot, I would sit down and have a very serious conversation with him. I wouldn't be as concerned with the alcohol/weed by itself, but mixing with the wrong crowd is the area I'd focus on. Explain that it isn't the booze/weed that has you concerned, it's the fact that he's hanging around with poor influences.
Hang around 5 wealthy people and you'll most likely become a wealthy person..... hang around 5 scumbags you become a scumbag....It's very hard to get this chit across to young kinds who can't see past tomorrow and think they are invincible. We've all been there. If your kid isn't the type to respond to a respectful discussion, then maybe harsh punishment/loss of freedoms is whats needed.
It just really depends on the kid
6'1 - 240lbs
<HTC>
01-05-2022, 07:26 AM
-
#17
- Duckliver
- Offal
-
- Duckliver
- Offal
- Join Date: Jun 2013
- Location: Washington, United States
- Posts: 32,174
- Rep Power: 347469
-
-
Honestly man
You need to get closer to him
I ran away at 15 around the same time I started doing somthing similar. I lied and hid thing and cut myself off from my parents the years following. Beating my ass wouldn’t of worked, putting me in wilderness programs made it worse, etc..
I’m a father now and my oldest is only 7 here’s my advice from a kid who went the wrong way who currently thinks about how to save his son from the same fate constantly.
Tell your son you are concerned he’s going down a path of hiding things from you and cutting you out from being able to help him, from being his father. Spend time with him, talk to him and listen, give dad advice. Don’t turn the time into punishment, just spending time with you is punishment enough for a 14 year old most likely.
But set aside some time where you can talk to him and empathize and give advice. Let him know some hard lines and how you can’t support him doing things against the house rules you love him and will be reasonable with mistakes as long as he is upfront and honest and doesn’t start hiding and lying to you.
You need to find the space where it’s ok to give him room and even explore boundaries you might not be “ok” with. But he maintains respect for the household and you.
Come down hard on lying to you. On abusing your trust. The punishment for going to a party should be mild compared to lying to you about where he was type thing. The relationship is what’s important. You should have a bond stronger then friendship and fear won’t get you there, love and respect will.
You need to get closer to him
I ran away at 15 around the same time I started doing somthing similar. I lied and hid thing and cut myself off from my parents the years following. Beating my ass wouldn’t of worked, putting me in wilderness programs made it worse, etc..
I’m a father now and my oldest is only 7 here’s my advice from a kid who went the wrong way who currently thinks about how to save his son from the same fate constantly.
Tell your son you are concerned he’s going down a path of hiding things from you and cutting you out from being able to help him, from being his father. Spend time with him, talk to him and listen, give dad advice. Don’t turn the time into punishment, just spending time with you is punishment enough for a 14 year old most likely.
But set aside some time where you can talk to him and empathize and give advice. Let him know some hard lines and how you can’t support him doing things against the house rules you love him and will be reasonable with mistakes as long as he is upfront and honest and doesn’t start hiding and lying to you.
You need to find the space where it’s ok to give him room and even explore boundaries you might not be “ok” with. But he maintains respect for the household and you.
Come down hard on lying to you. On abusing your trust. The punishment for going to a party should be mild compared to lying to you about where he was type thing. The relationship is what’s important. You should have a bond stronger then friendship and fear won’t get you there, love and respect will.
01-05-2022, 07:46 AM
-
#18
- JoshSP1985
- Anti-Circumcision
-
- JoshSP1985
- Anti-Circumcision
- Join Date: Aug 2009
- Location: Franklin, Indiana, United States
- Posts: 66,936
- Rep Power: 214514
-
-
Good luck, once he's embedded in **** tier friends groups like that it's going to be a huge battle. You can't just change friends in high school. The easiest option to try to change friends groups is team sports.
*PUREBLOOD CREW*
*DAD CREW*
*SUPER STRAIGHT*
*NATURAL DICK CREW*
*CCW*
01-05-2022, 07:58 AM
-
#19
- rectifryer
- enlightened
-
- rectifryer
- enlightened
- Join Date: Sep 2012
- Posts: 25,634
- Rep Power: 208783
-
-
Originally Posted By JoshSP1985⏩
My friends parents got all the friends over, culled whoever sucked.Good luck, once he's embedded in **** tier friends groups like that it's going to be a huge battle. You can't just change friends in high school. The easiest option to try to change friends groups is team sports.
eventually formed a lifelong group of trust worthy friends.
In alabama we call this southern hospitality. Thanks for reminding me. I think I've seen parents in the north do this instinctively as well.
Boycott foodservice industry crew
01-05-2022, 08:14 AM
-
#20
01-05-2022, 08:24 AM
-
#21
- donblaximus
- Registered User
-
- donblaximus
- Registered User
- Join Date: Jul 2010
- Age: 50
- Posts: 12,396
- Rep Power: 70954
-
-
Originally Posted By Duckliver⏩
This is a great post/advice. The question in my head while I was reading OP's post - "What is/was the relationship like between father and son leading up to this point?"Honestly man
You need to get closer to him
I ran away at 15 around the same time I started doing somthing similar. I lied and hid thing and cut myself off from my parents the years following. Beating my ass wouldn’t of worked, putting me in wilderness programs made it worse, etc..
I’m a father now and my oldest is only 7 here’s my advice from a kid who went the wrong way who currently thinks about how to save his son from the same fate constantly.
Tell your son you are concerned he’s going down a path of hiding things from you and cutting you out from being able to help him, from being his father. Spend time with him, talk to him and listen, give dad advice. Don’t turn the time into punishment, just spending time with you is punishment enough for a 14 year old most likely.
But set aside some time where you can talk to him and empathize and give advice. Let him know some hard lines and how you can’t support him doing things against the house rules you love him and will be reasonable with mistakes as long as he is upfront and honest and doesn’t start hiding and lying to you.
You need to find the space where it’s ok to give him room and even explore boundaries you might not be “ok” with. But he maintains respect for the household and you.
Come down hard on lying to you. On abusing your trust. The punishment for going to a party should be mild compared to lying to you about where he was type thing. The relationship is what’s important. You should have a bond stronger then friendship and fear won’t get you there, love and respect will.
You need to get closer to him
I ran away at 15 around the same time I started doing somthing similar. I lied and hid thing and cut myself off from my parents the years following. Beating my ass wouldn’t of worked, putting me in wilderness programs made it worse, etc..
I’m a father now and my oldest is only 7 here’s my advice from a kid who went the wrong way who currently thinks about how to save his son from the same fate constantly.
Tell your son you are concerned he’s going down a path of hiding things from you and cutting you out from being able to help him, from being his father. Spend time with him, talk to him and listen, give dad advice. Don’t turn the time into punishment, just spending time with you is punishment enough for a 14 year old most likely.
But set aside some time where you can talk to him and empathize and give advice. Let him know some hard lines and how you can’t support him doing things against the house rules you love him and will be reasonable with mistakes as long as he is upfront and honest and doesn’t start hiding and lying to you.
You need to find the space where it’s ok to give him room and even explore boundaries you might not be “ok” with. But he maintains respect for the household and you.
Come down hard on lying to you. On abusing your trust. The punishment for going to a party should be mild compared to lying to you about where he was type thing. The relationship is what’s important. You should have a bond stronger then friendship and fear won’t get you there, love and respect will.
01-05-2022, 08:33 AM
-
#22
01-06-2022, 07:51 AM
-
#23
Originally Posted By Duckliver⏩
Some of the strongest advice ITT so far, and I wanted to mention the lying but couldn't find the right words and it's very dependent on the relationship you have and want to build.Come down hard on lying to you. On abusing your trust. The punishment for going to a party should be mild compared to lying to you about where he was type thing. The relationship is what’s important. You should have a bond stronger then friendship and fear won’t get you there, love and respect will.
Once you have built up some trust on both sides - the fear of DISAPPOINTING or letting down the other person is heavy, he needs to know that he can come to you and simply say - dad, I fk'd up. idk if many father/son relationships can get to that point though.
Positivity crew
Bookmarks
-
- Digg
-
- del.icio.us
-
- StumbleUpon
-
-
Posting Permissions
- You may not post new threads
- You may not post replies
- You may not post attachments
- You may not edit your posts