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Forum » My mother passed away this morning and I was abroad and hadn't IRL seen her in 2.5y
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Thread: My mother passed away this morning and I was abroad and hadn't IRL seen her in 2.5y

post 1658831163 03-30-2022, 10:26 AM
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My mother passed away this morning and I was abroad and hadn't IRL seen her in 2.5y

srs tag

I feel absolutely horrible. Poor thing lost the battle with breast cancer and I was talking to her every other day but due to Covid I didn't want to be physically close.

I feel a lot of grief and regret bros. But what I was supposed to think? This rubbish is still infectious, variants here and there. I don't give a sit about myself but the thoughts of her getting sick as I came home and then becoming a vent user would have been the end of me.

But she was 67, 2 years worth of chemotherapy and a long-time smoker before her diagnosis. So I couldn't take the risk of spreading that **** as her profile was literally the worst for survival. My brother says I did the right thing but I just feel this is not how a mother-son relationship should end.


Horrible blow from life and I am barely functioning.
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post 1658831243 03-30-2022, 10:26 AM
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sorry to hear. sucks.

at least she isn't suffering anymore.
post 1658831423 03-30-2022, 10:29 AM
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look what's done is done, you can't really go back and change how anything transpired, go be with family when you can, you can still look forward to that and you can relive some memories, other than that, just give it some time and you'll get past it, srs
post 1658831853 03-30-2022, 10:34 AM
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Jeez man, I'm really sorry to hear this. It sounds to me like you did the best you could with the chit situation we've all been handed. I will keep you and your family in my prayers - may her memory be a blessing. Vent away and please let us know if we can do anything for you during this time.
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post 1658831883 03-30-2022, 10:35 AM
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Nothing to feel bad about if you were talking to her everyday, sounds like you had a great relationship and she knew you loved her. You did what you thought was right which, at the end of the day, is all that matters. Rather than thinking about what you'd change instead make sure your relationship with everyone else you care about is where you want it to be.
post 1658831903 03-30-2022, 10:35 AM
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Your post doesn't make sense. Why didn't you travel to where she's at, isolate for 10 days, then see her? That's what I would've done.
post 1658831943 03-30-2022, 10:36 AM
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Seems like all you cared about was a 2 year bill and a BS virus over your own mother.
Yes, your guilt is just.
But I can understand that your understanding that too, and I feel for you brother. Im really sorry for your loss
post 1658832013 03-30-2022, 10:37 AM
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Jesus Christ man

I like you OP and I am sincerely sorry for your loss. Have nothing else to say because I've never dealt with anything close to that. I guess if I had to say anything it would be you're going to come out of this strong as fuk and make her proud. I think you did the right thing and I'm sure those convos meant the world to her even if you couldn't see her in person.

All the best dude.
post 1658832253 03-30-2022, 10:42 AM
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You have my deepest condolences. I am sorry for your loss of your mom. Its one of the the hardest things that a person can endure. Try to think of the happy times.

I lost my father 3 days before this last Christmas. I have been a mess for months.
post 1658832263 03-30-2022, 10:42 AM
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I am so sorry about your mom.
~ In a world where you can be anything, be kind ~
post 1658832343 03-30-2022, 10:43 AM
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  1. atgbrahsrs
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Originally Posted By MikeLowrrrey⏩
Your post doesn't make sense. Why didn't you travel to where she's at, isolate for 10 days, then see her? That's what I would've done.
But then I continue going out and I didn't know the status of any tests and whatnot. This whole thing was with dubious info. That includes on severity of a possible infection YES but my mother's profile was literally the worst possible.
Originally Posted By SikoJames⏩
Seems like all you cared about was a 2 year bill and a BS virus over your own mother.
Yes, your guilt is just.
But I can understand that your understanding that too, and I feel for you brother. Im really sorry for your loss
no bills just cheap flight tickets and this was never about it
communist until you get rich
rightwing until financially secure
atheist until the plane starts falling
slootist until you get married
muslim after you get married
post 1658832373 03-30-2022, 10:44 AM
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I am so sorry man. I can't imagine what you are feeling right now.

If you believe in God, may He bless you and your family. If not I hope you find the peace you need.
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post 1658832833 03-30-2022, 10:50 AM
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Sorry for your loss brah
post 1658833443 03-30-2022, 10:57 AM
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Really sorry to hear this.

Please don’t start regretting the past, you spoke to her frequently, seriously as a mum that’s what we want. For you to live your life and still involve us

I’m sorry you lost her so young.

Fuk cancer
post 1658833523 03-30-2022, 10:58 AM
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  1. atgbrahsrs
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Originally Posted By Rabbitjb⏩
Really sorry to hear this.

Please don’t start regretting the past, you spoke to her frequently, seriously as a mum that’s what we want. For you to live your life and still involve us

I’m sorry you lost her so young.

Fuk cancer
full house as father died when I was 12

I have a brother though


I just couldnt bring myself to travel without devils in my mind regarding this, she just fits the elderly + weak immune system

how am I supposed to know what can happen to her and assume that she will have a short cold
communist until you get rich
rightwing until financially secure
atheist until the plane starts falling
slootist until you get married
muslim after you get married
post 1658833633 03-30-2022, 11:00 AM
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I'm sorry for your loss brah
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post 1658833723 03-30-2022, 11:02 AM
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Originally Posted By atgbrahsrs⏩
full house as father died when I was 12

I have a brother though


I just couldnt bring myself to travel without devils in my mind regarding this, she just fits the elderly + weak immune system

how am I supposed to know what can happen to her and assume that she will have a short cold
You can’t know, you just have to decide what’s best. Both my parents are in the end stages of life and it sucks. There have been reasons I haven’t been able to visit or see them and times when I can. You never know what can happen so you make the best decision at the time with the priority being their safety.

no need for second guessing
post 1658834033 03-30-2022, 11:06 AM
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This is why I would never move outside of close proximity of my family.

When my moms goes a piece of me goes.

If she was in the hospital and I didn't make it it would haunt me for the rest of my life.

Memory flashbacks.

Hope you have a quick recovery though the grieving process, bro.
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post 1658835203 03-30-2022, 11:27 AM
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Originally Posted By atgbrahsrs⏩
srs tag

I feel absolutely horrible. Poor thing lost the battle with breast cancer and I was talking to her every other day but due to Covid I didn't want to be physically close.

I feel a lot of grief and regret bros. But what I was supposed to think? This rubbish is still infectious, variants here and there. I don't give a sit about myself but the thoughts of her getting sick as I came home and then becoming a vent user would have been the end of me.

But she was 67, 2 years worth of chemotherapy and a long-time smoker before her diagnosis. So I couldn't take the risk of spreading that **** as her profile was literally the worst for survival. My brother says I did the right thing but I just feel this is not how a mother-son relationship should end.


Horrible blow from life and I am barely functioning.
That suck. Both my parents are very ill and I see them every week. Fuk the virus
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post 1658835573 03-30-2022, 11:35 AM
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Sorry 4 your loss

My mom's been dead for 30 years

She's still alive tho
post 1658836303 03-30-2022, 11:49 AM
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Sorry to hear that bro. Never easy. RIP
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post 1658837393 03-30-2022, 12:05 PM
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Originally Posted By atgbrahsrs⏩
full house as father died when I was 12

I have a brother though


I just couldnt bring myself to travel without devils in my mind regarding this, she just fits the elderly + weak immune system

how am I supposed to know what can happen to her and assume that she will have a short cold
What did she think about this herself? That's the most important part. A lot of stories I hear from the elderly are that they'd rather die 1-2 years earlier than live the last bit of their lives lonely because they can't see and hug their family. Her wishes should've been the most important in this, not your own fears.
post 1658838213 03-30-2022, 12:25 PM
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Sorry for your loss, OP. But don't feel too bad about not seeing her in person before she passed. There was a REASON for it, and you were keeping your distance out of concern for her welfare.

Time will help heal the pain and the good memories from the past will surface.
Cook the man some eggs!
post 1658838323 03-30-2022, 12:26 PM
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That's life, son.
post 1658841913 03-30-2022, 01:35 PM
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So your mom was dying of cancer and you couldn't manage to visit her one time in the span of 2.5 years?
The billionaire and the beggar both have 24 hours in a day.

That's why grandma's apple pie rocks and yours sucks.
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