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» Child Spanking? Yay or Nay?
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post 1670186763 10-27-2022, 06:59 PM
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Child Spanking? Yay or Nay?

Title of the thread. Is child spanking acceptable or not?

I have talked to multiple girls in their 20's who all believe it's abuse and unacceptable under any circumstances.

I personally have a bunch of brothers, and i know we sometimes were hellions and in specific instances there was no getting us to listen to our parents until the threat of being spanked by our dad was used. So to me it doesn't seem like a big deal. We just got smacked on our butt, didn't get a belt or anything like that though.
post 1670187053 10-27-2022, 07:05 PM
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There is supposed to be a better way to communicate verbally and get the correct response



Unfortunately I’m not that good of a parent so I decided I would be good enough to spank the extremely unacceptable (biting etc..) behaviors away. Since like if you can’t successfully navigate the modern path of zen parenting, I still think the old fashioned way is better than letting your kids go unchecked.

Although after like 4 it’s a maybe once or twice a year occurrence.
post 1670187143 10-27-2022, 07:06 PM
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Yes, but never in anger. You must be calm, controlled, and clearly explain the reason for the spanking and it's purpose. It should also only be used when the child is willfully disobedient.
post 1670187563 10-27-2022, 07:12 PM
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Originally Posted By coffey06
Yes, but never in anger. You must be calm, controlled, and clearly explain the reason for the spanking and it's purpose. It should also only be used when the child is willfully disobedient.
I was only spanked twice ever as a child, but that was enough that any future times i was acting out a simple "do you want me to get your father?" from my mom was enough to get me to behave.

I think it's a good lesson to learn early anyways, if a person acts out in disrespectful ways to strangers, there is always the possibility that you would receive a physical response. Better to learn that early than to go unchecked your whole childhood and not realize certain behavior might get you popped in the face.
post 1670187603 10-27-2022, 07:13 PM
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Originally Posted By coffey06
Yes, but never in anger. You must be calm, controlled, and clearly explain the reason for the spanking and it's purpose. It should also only be used when the child is willfully disobedient.
This. Seems more effective with boys though. So far we haven't spanked our daughter. Scolding puts her in tears. My brothers and I all got spanked and we agree we deserved it and it was for the best.
post 1670187613 10-27-2022, 07:13 PM
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I got whupped as a kid but my girl is pretty vocal about not doing that when we have kids

She grew up in a household where it wasn't just getting disciplined there was serious violence

So I understand her perspective, but I still think kids need discipline, I could just find another way

Because loving parents can be hard on their kids but the world is going to be much harder on them

If you just kinda let them do whatever and cave into any demands they will not be prepared for harsh reality
post 1670187803 10-27-2022, 07:17 PM
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Nay. My 205-lb weightlifter dad would spank me so hard I'd fly through the air. He'd grit his teeth & scream as he did it. Sometimes he'd even pull my pants down. He'd even do it in public. It did nothing to "discipline" me. It shamed me and made me resent him.

I was hit in the face on other occasions, but those were more tolerable because it was less humiliating. My parents also beat their dogs mercilessly. I learned with my own animals that hitting them was never an effective form of discipline. The same applies to kids.
post 1670188013 10-27-2022, 07:20 PM
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Originally Posted By Strawng
Nay. My 205-lb weightlifter dad would spank me so hard I'd fly through the air. He'd grit his teeth & scream as he did it. Sometimes he'd even pull my pants down. He'd even do it in public. It did nothing to "discipline" me. It shamed me and made me resent him.

I was hit in the face on other occasions, but those were more tolerable because it was less humiliating. My parents also beat their dogs mercilessly. I learned with my own animals that hitting them was never an effective form of discipline. The same applies to kids.
yeah same with me. it's weird because they say abuse perpetuates abuse.


but it's the exact opposite in my case. I have spanked my kids before due to extreme disobedience but I legit get flashbacks to when I was beaten ruthlessly by my parents. So I stop after a couple light slaps on the butt. I hurt myself when I spank them.

it's distressing.
post 1670188193 10-27-2022, 07:23 PM
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I wouldn't do it. It only made me resent my mother, and want to cave her skull in.
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post 1670188213 10-27-2022, 07:24 PM
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Originally Posted By TheGoldenBull
yeah same with me. it's weird because they say abuse perpetuates abuse.


but it's the exact opposite in my case. I have spanked my kids before due to extreme disobedience but I legit get flashbacks to when I was beaten ruthlessly by my parents. So I stop after a couple light slaps on the butt. I hurt myself when I spank them.

it's distressing.
Same. I spank when needed. Wife uses the Chonkla (flip flop) when needed. Both effective.
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post 1670188263 10-27-2022, 07:24 PM
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Originally Posted By Strawng
Nay. My 205-lb weightlifter dad would spank me so hard I'd fly through the air. He'd grit his teeth & scream as he did it. Sometimes he'd even pull my pants down. He'd even do it in public. It did nothing to "discipline" me. It shamed me and made me resent him.

I was hit in the face on other occasions, but those were more tolerable because it was less humiliating. My parents also beat their dogs mercilessly. I learned with my own animals that hitting them was never an effective form of discipline. The same applies to kids.
Yeah bro that is way overstepping the line of discipline

Can't imagine beating a dog, that makes me angry reading it

My dog is disciplined and loyal but that's because he trusts me

He trusts me because I love him and give lots of affection

He knows that I'm looking out for him always

Maybe that's the key, love and trust
post 1670188413 10-27-2022, 07:27 PM
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Yes but only in rare circumstances and for very poor disobedience.

I believe I was spanked a few times as a kid, but I barely remember it. My dad just used his voice and intimidation. He's 6'7 and a giant so his voice when he yells is bellowing and scary af. My dad was a gentle giant and a goofball but struck fear into everyone. Had a temper but not often. Literally no one fukked with him. I saw that and obviously respected that innately.

Want to know something funny? One time my dad wasn't home (always working) and I guess I was being a huge prick to my mom and said some bad words towards her. She picked me up brought me downstairs to the laundry room sink and washed my mouth out with soap and she explained that we do not say those things in this house and about respect. To this day I still don't swear around my parents besides a few slip ups, and I almost immediately feel disgrace when I say it.
post 1670188493 10-27-2022, 07:27 PM
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My parents hit and spanked me. My dad stopped when I was 13 because he broke his finger punching me in the chest. He was a surgeon and if it was the next finger over he wouldn't have been able to do surgery, so he said I wasn't worth it. I was a headstrong kid and didn't listen to anything my parents said.

I've never hit my kids, I wasn't against it, but never had to when they were young, and my ex had it written into the divorce agreement. Ironically she has hit them, and I haven't. Anyway they are well behaved kids, but my daughter has a lot of my temperment regardless. Maybe it's a firstborn thing.
post 1670188553 10-27-2022, 07:29 PM
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Logged in from lurking just to post. I’m actually relieved that I see the responses here. This has been a really pressing issue for me and my wife recently.

I was beaten as a kid and I hate my parents for it now. That said, it did (at the time) get me to act right, so I did truly question the results and effect of a mere, stern spanking. I did just once spank my daughter when she was a toddler privately, and she never repeated the behavior which warranted the punishment, so it was tough not to use that punishment to reinforce better behavior in the future. But I immediately felt terrible about it afterward.

Our second child, I have yet to lift a finger and not sure I want to, or would ever. I joke with my wife that our first got one so to keep it even our second will get “just one” to know that the possibility for that punishment in the future is “still out there”.

It’s getting harder to find stronger ways to deter ugly childish behavior as the kids get older but that’s part of being a parent. It’s easy to hit a kid. It’s hard to be stronger. And really after reading a lot of dad bros chime in, it’s not the way to hit them… thanks for this, for real, reps to anyone I can who posted before me.
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post 1670188753 10-27-2022, 07:34 PM
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Originally Posted By coffey06
Yes, but never in anger. You must be calm, controlled, and clearly explain the reason for the spanking and it's purpose. It should also only be used when the child is willfully disobedient.
I get the sentiment but I really don't see the issue. If my boy fuks up bad enough to warrant a smack you better believe I'm pissed. I don't get angry quickly, I'm usually the one that tells my woman to chill out. Maybe it's about severity. I'm not smacking my kids because they cussed or spilled a drink.

That said, my dad was whipped with a switch as a kid and despised his old man for that and never hit us. However growing up my mom would verbally abuse the chit out me and hell I think I'd rather have got smacked on the ass for fukking up and be done with it rather than being screamed at every day for being a retard.
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post 1670188853 10-27-2022, 07:36 PM
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Originally Posted By DropTheBS
Logged in from lurking just to post. I’m actually relieved that I see the responses here. This has been a really pressing issue for me and my wife recently.

I was beaten as a kid and I hate my parents for it now. That said, it did (at the time) get me to act right, so I did truly question the results and effect of a mere, stern spanking. I did just once spank my daughter when she was a toddler privately, and she never repeated the behavior which warranted the punishment, so it was tough not to use that punishment to reinforce better behavior in the future. But I immediately felt terrible about it afterward.

Our second child, I have yet to lift a finger and not sure I want to, or would ever. I joke with my wife that our first got one so to keep it even our second will get “just one” to know that the possibility for that punishment in the future is “still out there”.

It’s getting harder to find stronger ways to deter ugly childish behavior as the kids get older but that’s part of being a parent. It’s easy to hit a kid. It’s hard to be stronger. And really after reading a lot of dad bros chime in, it’s not the way to hit them… thanks for this, for real, reps to anyone I can who posted before me.
Yes that's why it she be used rarely if ever and only for very specific reasons. Not everything is just yes or no. A spanking or two done correctly and at the right time for the right reason can bring a desired result. I would never just lash out though and never do it with anger or to cause harm. I think too many people don't know how or when to do it so they should refrain from it. Honestly I know I will probably never spank my kids, but it's not all just bad.

What you did was what you thought was necessary for a desired result at the time trying to the the best parent possible. That is always good no matter if you make mistakes or not. Intent and purpose. As I said my parents did it I think 2-3 times and they never screamed at me or were angry and seething when doing it. It was a lesson. I applaud them for it. Same with the soap thing for swearing and being rude to my mother as a child. One time correctly done was all it took.
post 1670188933 10-27-2022, 07:37 PM
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Originally Posted By Johnez
I get the sentiment but I really don't see the issue. If my boy fuks up bad enough to warrant a smack you better believe I'm pissed. I don't get angry quickly, I'm usually the one that tells my woman to chill out. Maybe it's about severity. I'm not smacking my kids because they cussed or spilled a drink.
Idk if it's ever ok, man. That being said, I was literally beaten over spilling milk before. I also got it in public for calling my sister "stupid" as a 4 year-old. I hope your kid's actually a massive kunt before you give him a smack, or he might fuking hate you for the rest of his life.
post 1670188963 10-27-2022, 07:37 PM
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Originally Posted By Contribution05
Title of the thread. Is child spanking acceptable or not?

I have talked to multiple girls in their 20's who all believe it's abuse and unacceptable under any circumstances.

I personally have a bunch of brothers, and i know we sometimes were hellions and in specific instances there was no getting us to listen to our parents until the threat of being spanked by our dad was used. So to me it doesn't seem like a big deal. We just got smacked on our butt, didn't get a belt or anything like that though.
The idea is that whatever you teach kids, including what you do in front of them, is teaching them what life is about. So, teaching kids that beating people is okay is not a good lesson.

In addition, when mommy and daddy makes a mistake, who is beating them?

No one.

So, the kids learn you are a bully and are beating them because you have control over them. However, when you f@ck up no one beats you.

I have said to parents at work who say they beat their children, "I am bigger, strong, and smarter than you, so I am going to beat you for beating your kids because I think it's wrong" they will get scared.

So, people, I have dealt with who hit their kids are cowards.

The best way to get kids to behave is through explaining rules and building positive bonds, then using guilt. Your kid should understand why not to do negative things and on top of that, they should not want to upset you.

If you beat kids and they see you are a bully, they will figure out ways to undermine you and the whole family which will be a joke to them.
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post 1670189023 10-27-2022, 07:39 PM
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Originally Posted By radrd
This. Seems more effective with boys though. So far we haven't spanked our daughter. Scolding puts her in tears. My brothers and I all got spanked and we agree we deserved it and it was for the best.
Me and my brothers agree that we deserved it too.
Originally Posted By DropTheBS
Logged in from lurking just to post. I’m actually relieved that I see the responses here. This has been a really pressing issue for me and my wife recently.

I was beaten as a kid and I hate my parents for it now.That said, it did (at the time) get me to act right, so I did truly question the results and effect of a mere, stern spanking. I did just once spank my daughter when she was a toddler privately, and she never repeated the behavior which warranted the punishment, so it was tough not to use that punishment to reinforce better behavior in the future. But I immediately felt terrible about it afterward.

Our second child, I have yet to lift a finger and not sure I want to, or would ever. I joke with my wife that our first got one so to keep it even our second will get “just one” to know that the possibility for that punishment in the future is “still out there”.

It’s getting harder to find stronger ways to deter ugly childish behavior as the kids get older but that’s part of being a parent. It’s easy to hit a kid. It’s hard to be stronger. And really after reading a lot of dad bros chime in, it’s not the way to hit them… thanks for this, for real, reps to anyone I can who posted before me.
why do you hate your parents for it? Was it the way in which it was carried out? I always loved my dad and never doubted his love for me. The spankings weren't that severe, just a couple occassions when our behavior was just outright disobedient and no longer listening at all, and just with a bare hand and not that hard, it was more just felt bad/shame/embarrassment that i let my behavior go that far. I don't think a child should be beaten severely or anything, but i am curious why some posters were spanked and still love their parents with no grudges, and others feel like they hate their parents for it.
post 1670189253 10-27-2022, 07:44 PM
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Originally Posted By Strawng
Idk if it's ever ok, man. That being said, I was literally beaten over spilling milk before. I also got it in public for calling my sister "stupid" as a 4 year-old. I hope your kid's actually a massive kunt before you give him a smack, or he might fuking hate you for the rest of his life.
That's horrible man. Never for minor things, rarely and probably never again going forward as my kids have stopped the most dangerous things and can and do listen now.
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post 1670189443 10-27-2022, 07:50 PM
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When I was younger I got spanked with a wooden stick or put in a timeout corner with my hands raised above my head

Middle school years I got punished by doing push ups all day long

Whenever I got bad grades, which was often, my dad would smack me upside the head or pull me by my ear and shove my head down the toilet.

One time I took some rice off my dad's plate as he was eating and he b**ch slapped me across the face and threw me outside. This I deserved.
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post 1670189553 10-27-2022, 07:52 PM
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Originally Posted By Contribution05
Me and my brothers agree that we deserved it too.



why do you hate your parents for it? Was it the way in which it was carried out? I always loved my dad and never doubted his love for me. The spankings weren't that severe, just with a bare hand and not that hard, it was more just felt bad/shame/embarrassment that i let my behavior go that far. I don't think a child should be beaten severely or anything, but i am curious why some posters were spanked and still love their parents with no grudges, and others feel like they hate their parents for it.
Without going too “Dear Diary…” on you, and trying my best to remember the instances which stick out, I really don’t know if the punishment in most cases fit the crime. And I know my mom would be legit angry while she was slapping me, or punching and pinching at my legs from the front seat of the car, or…, or… my father only knew how to yell when he thought someone was wrong and my mom never wanted anything except to know that you should be scared of her.

The other part which makes me spite them, which I’m sure is natural behavior once you become a grandparent but Idgaf, it’s annoying… is how if I discipline or get stern (not physically, just a harsh “no”) with my daughter, and my mother was around, how quick she was to jump in and act like Mother Teresa to my daughter, when a lesser crime that I committed warranted a backhand at the same age.

After I had kids, I started looking at how destroyed a child’s day can become after scolding them harshly, let alone slapping them across the face and smacking them to humiliate them. So I’ve chosen to refrain from that form of punishment now. Why give them that as an excuse or opportunity to resent you? I’m 6’3, 220… it’s just… weak to hit a 2 year old girl who barely weighs 30 lbs and can’t even complete speak her name right. At least that’s my impression.

I ran outta reps but I’m gonna stick around and get everyone when I can. For a forum where I expected a whole bunch of nonsense replies to this type of post and subject matter, I’m genuinely and pleasantly surprised, bros.
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post 1670190063 10-27-2022, 08:02 PM
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Originally Posted By DropTheBS
Without going too “Dear Diary…” on you, and trying my best to remember the instances which stick out, I really don’t know if the punishment in most cases fit the crime. And I know my mom would be legit angry while she was slapping me, or punching and pinching at my legs from the front seat of the car, or…, or…my father only knew how to yell when he thought someone was wrong and my mom never wanted anything except to know that you should be scared of her.

The other part which makes me spite them, which I’m sure is natural behavior once you become a grandparent but Idgaf, it’s annoying… is how if I discipline or get stern (not physically, just a harsh “no”) with my daughter, and my mother was around, how quick she was to jump in and act like Mother Teresa to my daughter, when a lesser crime that I committed warranted a backhand at the same age.

After I had kids, I started looking at how destroyed a child’s day can become after scolding them harshly, let alone slapping them across the face and smacking them to humiliate them. So I’ve chosen to refrain from that form of punishment now. Why give them that as an excuse or opportunity to resent you? I’m 6’3, 220… it’s just… weak to hit a 2 year old girl who barely weighs 30 lbs and can’t even complete speak her name right. At least that’s my impression.

I ran outta reps but I’m gonna stick around and get everyone when I can. For a forum where I expected a whole bunch of nonsense replies to this type of post and subject matter, I’m genuinely and pleasantly surprised, bros.
I think the bolded is the issue. I'm kinda with the poster i'm quoting below. I think a spanking if used correctly can be effective, but your child should know that you love them. It sounds like you didn't get that from your own parents necessarily. Again, i knew my dad loved me, i knew my mom loved me, the couple of spankings i got never made me question that. So maybe the key to effective spanking is first making sure you already have a good loving relationship with your child and only using it very sparingly as a punishment for the most severe unruly behavior.
Originally Posted By DeadlyStriker
Yes that's why it should be used rarely if ever and only for very specific reasons. Not everything is just yes or no. A spanking or two done correctly and at the right time for the right reason can bring a desired result. I would never just lash out though and never do it with anger or to cause harm. I think too many people don't know how or when to do it so they should refrain from it.
post 1670190193 10-27-2022, 08:06 PM
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post 1670190623 10-27-2022, 08:16 PM
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spanking? punches to the head are acceptable to me.
post 1670190743 10-27-2022, 08:18 PM
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JFC imagine hitting a kid… Complete degeneracy.
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post 1670190853 10-27-2022, 08:20 PM
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#27
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Nah, you should be able to get a kid to do as you want without resorting to violence.
When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.
post 1670190913 10-27-2022, 08:22 PM
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#28
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Originally Posted By TheAdlerian
The idea is that whatever you teach kids, including what you do in front of them, is teaching them what life is about. So, teaching kids that beating people is okay is not a good lesson.

In addition, when mommy and daddy makes a mistake, who is beating them?

No one.

So, the kids learn you are a bully and are beating them because you have control over them. However, when you f@ck up no one beats you.

I have said to parents at work who say they beat their children, "I am bigger, strong, and smarter than you, so I am going to beat you for beating your kids because I think it's wrong" they will get scared.

So, people, I have dealt with who hit their kids are cowards.

The best way to get kids to behave is through explaining rules and building positive bonds, then using guilt. Your kid should understand why not to do negative things and on top of that, they should not want to upset you.

If you beat kids and they see you are a bully, they will figure out ways to undermine you and the whole family which will be a joke to them.
When you use the term "beating" do you mean like slapping and punching a child? or a spanking? or all of it? again i feel like there are degrees here and that there is a difference between punching your kid in the face or pulling out the belt to whip them vs a bare hand to the butt cheek.

As for who is beating mommy and daddy if they act out, well a random stranger might do that to mommy and daddy if they threw a temper tantrum in public. Police officer might shove mommy and daddy's face into the pavement if they were acting the way a child sometimes does lol. So that is teaching them what life is about.
post 1670190933 10-27-2022, 08:22 PM
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Originally Posted By jdforsy
JFC imagine hitting a kid… Complete degeneracy.
Originally Posted By Godfrd824
Nah, you should be able to get a kid to do as you want without resorting to violence.
childless miscers detected
post 1670190973 10-27-2022, 08:22 PM
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#30
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Originally Posted By Godfrd824
Nah, you should be able to get a kid to do as you want without resorting to violence.
In a perfect world, yes.

In reality, no.

It is true, that the best parents can have little pieces of chit children. Happens all the time.

Sometimes its the parents, sometimes its the kid, sometimes its both, sometimes its the kids environment.
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