I'm not even joking right now. It's really something I need to do. It's an urge that seems to only be intensifying, guys. I've done a bit of research into camps within range of me and it seems that many of them cap the age at 16. I'm 33 right now. And I don't want to go to some crappy "adult summer camp," I want the real deal. You boys know what I mean? I don't even like most adults.

I shaved my face yesterday just to see how young I looked. I usually sport a 7/16" stubble in hopes of looking older. I've done this for probably a decade or so. Understand, I'm 5'7", don't drink, don't smoke, don't use drugs, never have done any of that. Only a few sips of alcohol once in my teens. And for my entire adult life, I've been forced to eat a very clean diet due to rampant food allergies caused by a massive overuse of the antibiotic Doxycycine in my teens. Doctors had me on it for 5+ years straight for a mild-to-moderate case of acne. Pretty irresponsible, right? Well, it permanently killed my ability to properly digest most foods. Forced me to eat incredibly clean. Haven't had a slice of pizza or a scoop of ice cream in thirteen years, boys. Not worth the nasty immune response. So I believe this is why I look young for my age. Skin looks great now. Hairline holding up very well. It's not crazy to think I could pull it off, fellas.

While running errands today, I asked three strangers to try to guess my age. I asked only women because I thought it was a little strange to ask other men. Figured they may think I was after their loins or something. Trying to use a suave pickup line to have at their buttholes. I asked three ladies at separate locations to guess my age. Tried to ask younger gals. The guesses came in at 22, 25 & 26. While very complimentary, I was a little disappointed that I couldn't get down in the teens. Was really hoping for maybe a 19 or something...? Kind of took some of the wind out of my sails, fellas.

They require a copy of the birth certificate when registering for summer camp, right? What else would they need? Social security number? I'm strongly considering trying this, fellas. As an adult, I've had some deep regrets about never going to summer camp. It haunts me. Especially when I watch summer camp movies or Salute your Shorts. If it fails, could there be any sort of legal action taken against me? Or even if they find out after camps over, could any charges be filed?

It's over, fella

apply to west point. basically the closest thing to adult boy scouts.

Well, that's disappointing to hear.

didnt read a single word but why dont you sign up as a camp instructor?

How old does Dale look? Maybe he can go and you can live vicariously thru him. Summer camp brings back such good memories tho. All those late nite pillow fites, touching, fondling, laughing...I can only imagine what girls do at their Summer camps.

I've looked into it, but from what I understand, most instructor positions end up getting filled by former campers. The job listings are few and far between. I also doubt I'd want to be responsible for a bunch of jackass kids all summer long.Dale looks like a man in his forties. Doesn't really take care of himself at all. I pitched this idea to him and he laughed his ass off. Thought I was joking. Told me I'd instantly become a social outcast because I wouldn't be able to relate to today's youth. Says kids don't want to hear about my favorite episodes of the Waltons or borrow my Boz Scaggs CDs. I understand that perspective, but certain things are universal I think.