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Forum » You know you’re a douchebag if you…
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Thread: You know you’re a douchebag if you…

post 1677249223 02-15-2023, 08:04 AM
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#1
  1. OT2000
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You know you’re a douchebag if you…

Do the following…

Driving:

Go slow in the passing lane.
Speed up in the passing lane when others go around you.
Pull out in front and drive slow.
Slow down when light turns yellow.

Shopping:

Leave your cart in the middle of the aisle.
Talk on your phone when checking out.
Had a thousand coupons and don’t tell the person behind you.
Asking for a manager like it’s the cool thing to do and giving them advice.

Dining out:

Talking loud.
Asking questions that are answered by the menu.
Being rude to the waiter/waitress especially if they are trying.


Just to start.
I probably banged your mom.

Eat the whole animal like a real man.
post 1677249363 02-15-2023, 08:06 AM
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#2
  1. headturner1
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I don’t see “miscing” as part of your list?

But, I guess your list is a work in progress, so it’ll just grow
post 1677249613 02-15-2023, 08:11 AM
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#3
  1. hendrixfreak70
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Every single one is worthy of a fist to the face. Dead serious.
post 1677249663 02-15-2023, 08:12 AM
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This song was goat when I was a kid. Fuk, we were dumbasses.

See BrianDaMans sig.

Rep SoapKing on sight crew.
Semi tradie crew
lol@tradies crew
Certified HTC
post 1677249953 02-15-2023, 08:16 AM
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-jabbed
-coldcel
-yank

to add a few more
Subscribe for extra premium content (no noodz sorry guys)
post 1677254563 02-15-2023, 09:20 AM
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#6
  1. OT2000
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Originally Posted By headturner1⏩
I don’t see “miscing” as part of your list?

But, I guess your list is a work in progress, so it’ll just grow
If you’re a miscer with a lengthy ignore list
I probably banged your mom.

Eat the whole animal like a real man.
post 1677254683 02-15-2023, 09:22 AM
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#7
  1. Retoaded
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Add to shopping:

Leave your cart in the middle of a parking space or push it up on a curb, instead of taking it back to the MOTHERFUKKING CART RETURN TEN FEET AWAY.
post 1677254943 02-15-2023, 09:26 AM
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#8
  1. desslok
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Originally Posted By OT2000⏩
Do the following…

Driving:

Go slow in the passing lane.
Speed up in the passing lane when others go around you.
Pull out in front and drive slow.
Slow down when light turns yellow.

Shopping:

Leave your cart in the middle of the aisle.
Talk on your phone when checking out.
Had a thousand coupons and don’t tell the person behind you.
Asking for a manager like it’s the cool thing to do and giving them advice.

Dining out:

Talking loud.
Asking questions that are answered by the menu.
Being rude to the waiter/waitress especially if they are trying.


Just to start.
Driving:
The idiots that HAVE to pass you on the left lane to get in front of you before the intersection and then turn right, making you almost stop even though there was no one behind you.

The idiots that keep turning left after the arrow turns red, blocking the people the direction from going on their green.
^bonus points if turning into stopped traffic and get stuck completely blocking traffic .
2 time survivor of The Great Misc Outages of 2022

Survivor of PHP/API Outage of Feb 2023
post 1677254953 02-15-2023, 09:26 AM
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#9
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In general use your phone in public without any situational or environmental awareness. People trying to walk by, you're having a private conversation in public, etc.
post 1677254963 02-15-2023, 09:26 AM
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#10
  1. TheAdlerian
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Originally Posted By OT2000⏩
Do the following…

Driving:

Go slow in the passing lane.
Speed up in the passing lane when others go around you.
Pull out in front and drive slow.
Slow down when light turns yellow.

Shopping:

Leave your cart in the middle of the aisle.
Talk on your phone when checking out.
Had a thousand coupons and don’t tell the person behind you.
Asking for a manager like it’s the cool thing to do and giving them advice.

Dining out:

Talking loud.
Asking questions that are answered by the menu.
Being rude to the waiter/waitress especially if they are trying.


Just to start.
I agree.

The one thing many people get wrong is that the "passing lane" is ONLY for traveling the SPEED LIMIT.

So, if you are in a 65 speed limit zone, you are only allowed to pass at 65mph, not 80 or 90.
If you want to ask me a question:

Ask: TheAdlerian

http://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=150655983&p=1000366043#post1000366043

Read my science fiction novel:

http://www.amazon.com/Echelon-Adlerian-ebook/dp/B00RCFFTKC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1419640250&sr=8-1&keywords=Echelon+the+adlerian
post 1677255103 02-15-2023, 09:28 AM
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#11
  1. DanteEdmond
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Originally Posted By OT2000⏩
Slow down when light turns yellow.

.
yellow traffic signal light means "CAUTION: The light is about to turn red." Almost every DMV manual instructs you to slow down at yellow light
post 1677255843 02-15-2023, 09:41 AM
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#12
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Originally Posted By DanteEdmond⏩
yellow traffic signal light means "CAUTION: The light is about to turn red." Almost every DMV manual instructs you to slow down at yellow light
That's also correct.

If you would cause a problem by slowing down, go through, but typically means to slow and stop before the light turns red.
If you want to ask me a question:

Ask: TheAdlerian

http://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=150655983&p=1000366043#post1000366043

Read my science fiction novel:

http://www.amazon.com/Echelon-Adlerian-ebook/dp/B00RCFFTKC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1419640250&sr=8-1&keywords=Echelon+the+adlerian
post 1677256523 02-15-2023, 09:50 AM
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#13
  1. Adam16121
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Ask questions about products while in the front of a long line in the grocery store. Especially if they are stupid questions with the answers on the label.
post 1677256723 02-15-2023, 09:53 AM
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#14
  1. desslok
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Originally Posted By Adam16121⏩
Ask questions about products while in the front of a long line in the grocery store. Especially if they are stupid questions with the answers on the label.
And then tell them you need to cash your welfare check and pay with food stamps.
2 time survivor of The Great Misc Outages of 2022

Survivor of PHP/API Outage of Feb 2023
post 1677256923 02-15-2023, 09:56 AM
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#15
  1. nn586
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Originally Posted By TheAdlerian⏩
I agree.

The one thing many people get wrong is that the "passing lane" is ONLY for traveling the SPEED LIMIT.

So, if you are in a 65 speed limit zone, you are only allowed to pass at 65mph, not 80 or 90.
Bullchit, if you are doing 65 in the left hand lane in a 65 mph zone you're a douche bag. You wanna do the speed limit like a pleb go to the right. Left lane is for moggers who are going at least 10 mph over the limit.
post 1677257443 02-15-2023, 10:04 AM
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#16
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When the first car at a stop light is an entire car length behind the line at the light. The light is a long enough wait and the sensors aren't kicking in because it doesn't know a car is there. Then its another 5 seconds before douchebag reacts to the green and has put the phone down and step on the gas. Pull up to the line Azzhole.
post 1677257693 02-15-2023, 10:08 AM
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#17
  1. Cig Diesel
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Originally Posted By nn586⏩
Bullchit, if you are doing 65 in the left hand lane in a 65 mph zone you're a douche bag. You wanna do the speed limit like a pleb go to the right. Left lane is for moggers who are going at least 10 mph over the limit.
Left lane is for passing, regardless of how fast everyone is going. Speed limit & how fast the other cars are going relative to that speed limit are irrelevant. Use the left lane to pass, then move back over once it's safe to do so.

Left lane cruisers are quite possibly my biggest pet peeve. "I drive in da lef one"..no matter what. They'll come off the ramp and go straight to the left lane regardless of the traffic situation. They will sit in that lane until they reach their next destination. Sure sign of a low IQ
post 1677257703 02-15-2023, 10:08 AM
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Post deleted by user
post 1677257983 02-15-2023, 10:12 AM
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#19
  1. ImpressiveGainz
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Originally Posted By TheAdlerian⏩
I agree.

The one thing many people get wrong is that the "passing lane" is ONLY for traveling the SPEED LIMIT.

So, if you are in a 65 speed limit zone, you are only allowed to pass at 65mph, not 80 or 90.
This is literally illegal in Texas; you will get a ticket for "impeding the flow of traffic" if you're doing the speed limit in the fast lane.
Best thread: http://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=168274783
***Black Crew*** (emeritus)
post 1677258083 02-15-2023, 10:13 AM
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#20
  1. nn586
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Originally Posted By Cig
Left lane is for passing, regardless of how fast everyone is going. Speed limit & how fast the other cars are going relative to that speed limit are irrelevant. Use the left lane to pass, then move back over once it's safe to do so.
That's basically what I was saying but in a different way.
post 1677258283 02-15-2023, 10:16 AM
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#21
  1. paulinkansas
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Driving 20 MPH in a school zone when the sign says "20 MPH when lights are flashing". The lights are not flashing and the speed limit is 30 MPH.
post 1677258293 02-15-2023, 10:16 AM
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#22
  1. darkninja67
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Originally Posted By DanteEdmond⏩
yellow traffic signal light means "CAUTION: The light is about to turn red." Almost every DMV manual instructs you to slow down at yellow light
TRH

It's an automatic fail if you are taking a driving test and go through a yellow light. Does not mean speed up.


You're a douche if you park "BMW style" is a parking lot. Usually gets keyed from where I am from. Your X5 isn't that special really.
rumpler of stiltskins

"I'm not afraid to die, I'm afraid I'll survive and have to watch you suffer" - Thy Art Is Murder

"Life will cease so breathe deep" - Lorna Shore
post 1677258363 02-15-2023, 10:17 AM
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#23
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When you are in the left lane going 20km/hr over the limit already and but it's STILL not fast enough for the ****g0rt behind you who's car is in your back seat. Or when they pass you in the right lane.

****g00rts who are behind you and speed passed you and go in front of you. Congrats idiot, you got to the next red light 2 seconds faster than me, wasted more gas, wasted break pads, and now will wait the same amount of time for the green.
post 1677258483 02-15-2023, 10:18 AM
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#24
  1. lightsarefallin
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Read your OP and immediately heard 'lazy bones'in my mind.
*Look at reflection in car window and flex every time crew*
*Use half the roll to wipe after a poo crew*
*Fart in the gym and blame rotten smell on faulty ventilation crew*
*Fart at home and blame it on the dog crew*
*Watch neutron-star density poop mock me as water flushes around it and it stays put crew*
*Drive 2 minutes in the summer and back of shirt gets completely wet crew*
*Coffee black as midnight on a moonless night crew*
*Fat shame my cat on a daily basis crew*
post 1677258663 02-15-2023, 10:20 AM
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People who walk at a mind numbingly slow pace in public congestion areas and then act like they are seeing a ghost when someone walks around them. Usually fat old women with short hair.

If you choose to grab the dumbells, take a half step back and do shrugs/cuels/whatever 1 ft from the rack/mirror, which stops anyone from putting their chit away until you are done. Bonus points for grounding the dumbells at the base of the rack instead of putting them back in between sets. Always a bloat lord doing 100lb shrugs with made up form that turns it into a weird grip excercise instead of a trap movement. ANything to use the heaviest dumbells. Never seen using heavy barbells with decent form.

People who super set using the squat rack when its busy.

People who smoke, because if you smoke you litter. 100% of the time, never once met a ciggie who didnt throw it on the ground. Watch them in traffic if you dont believe me.

People who make up lists of things that piss them off when they should be working, wait wut?
**Florida Crew**
**Waiting for National Guard Bus Ride to Labor Camp Crew**
post 1677258673 02-15-2023, 10:20 AM
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#26
  1. bradlehman
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Reminds me of the Citizen vs. Civilian distinction in Starship Troopers.
post 1677258863 02-15-2023, 10:23 AM
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#27
  1. BillTheBro
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Sometimes when it's a right on red possibility, I'm just not paying attention. And if some phgt behind me honks his horn, I'll make sure to wait for the light to change and take the slowest right turn of my life and then just coast up the lane looking to my left to see if he wants to engage in a stare down as he passes me.

Lol I guess we both douchebags in that situation.
No Shampoo crew
Always pick #4 crew
Dreamer bulk crew



I only crack stick with my left hand... my right hand? Strictly for buckets.
post 1677258933 02-15-2023, 10:24 AM
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#28
  1. lightsarefallin
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Originally Posted By bradlehman⏩


Reminds me of the Citizen vs. Civilian distinction in Starship Troopers.
fuking lazy bones, am I right?

What a simple test of a$$holery.
*Look at reflection in car window and flex every time crew*
*Use half the roll to wipe after a poo crew*
*Fart in the gym and blame rotten smell on faulty ventilation crew*
*Fart at home and blame it on the dog crew*
*Watch neutron-star density poop mock me as water flushes around it and it stays put crew*
*Drive 2 minutes in the summer and back of shirt gets completely wet crew*
*Coffee black as midnight on a moonless night crew*
*Fat shame my cat on a daily basis crew*
post 1677258943 02-15-2023, 10:25 AM
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#29
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Originally Posted By headturner1⏩
I don’t see “miscing” as part of your list?
its assumed were all douchebags for this one, but we give each other a pass.
For every man, there is a sentence, a string of words, that has the power to destroy him
"The strong do what they can, and the weak suffer what they must" -Thucydides
Shall not be Infringed. FUK CHINA.
post 1677259093 02-15-2023, 10:26 AM
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#30
  1. nn586
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Originally Posted By bradlehman⏩


Reminds me of the Citizen vs. Civilian distinction in Starship Troopers.
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