I had a list but I had to reset my phone.

Snoop Dogg - Drop it like it’s hot

OP is a fraud with many ailments.

List of OP's ailments:

- terminal disease
- retired at 25
- boredom from retirement / too much wealth
- indecision if he should go to college at 26 to bang 18 year olds
- grandma just died
- vomiting cat
- indecision if he should move his aging mother in with him
- avoiding high overhead charities
- fuked up shoulder
- Selling company
- 6'3.5'' / 255 lbs
- only has Audi R8 spyder
- indecision if he should buy a 911 GT3 or GTR nismo
- sold business in the mid 7 figure range
- worked as male model from 18-21
- friends are jealous of his success
- 700lbs deadlift
- killed someone in a 3 on 1 fight
- pondering the meaning of life
- very picky on tinder, not an average guy
- shipping label on fedex package unreadable
- Indecision on which video game console to buy a 12 year old for Christmas
- did calculus in 5th grade
- made 370k last year
- indecision on what PC to buy
- regrets working through his youth
- how can he illegally stream Fox News
- Sent off playstation for repair, fedex sign but Sony says don’t have it
- sending out gifts to randoms via pm during christmas
- indecision if he will pay off random people's layaway dues
- indecision if he should invest in an Indian company
- indecision on what he should do on vacation in India
- banged a midget
- mentally handicapped sister
- has sore throat, sick as ****
- born with a hernia
- knife for close combat. stab then shoot.
- Has a week to live
- Indecision on what to charge people for a new contacts company hes starting.
- Having a follow up procedure.
- Had a weird conversation with my neighbor about mortality
- Going to jail in 4 months for something he didn't do
- Froze sperm after perfect nutrition
- Brother wants to be a beta provider so bought him a 550k house that is now worth 650k
- Smashed 3 nurses in a row
- 10 figures in cash and investments
- can't find sister
- misses Trump
- confused by having to chit when good music is being played
- We're going to have to move to a state that doesn't have taxes
- Fell off a ladder and sprained ankle
- Made dinner gf said she was double stuffed
- Wants to die at 27
- richer than 2 of the 4 main cast members in Seinfeld
- Got bottomed out by a Walmart delivery driver who was beary dreamy
- Performed deep throat to completion
- Drinks his own puke
- Got called a generic -3
- Despite great wealth, neighbors are hispanic who keep playing the same song 3 times a night.
- Use hyperbaric oxygen chamber for peak health, but needs an operation to feel normal
- having a procedure to 'set him free'
- social worker harassing OP and his mom
- Armed security guard is scared of OP
- Stress from realtor flirting with OP
- Moved mom in, and building a guesthouse
- Bought private land for mom to hike on
- Need TV on to keep negative thoughts at bay
- Moms sick
- Had a vasectomy, but girls still call OP claiming to be pregnant
- Tranny banged him so he took a chit in his shower
- scouted as a model during teen years
- so good looking its intimidating for women
- relative created top secret military weaponry - sworn to secrecy
- imaginary bitch gf made burgers
- imaginary gf wants him to propose
- lost 15 lbs and looks like a shredded sick kunt
- made a generous donation to the special Olympics participants
- doesn’t want his son to find out he is an average loser
- imaginary pregnant gf wont put out
- lost 15 lbs and looks like a shredded sick kunt
- made a generous donation to the special Olympics participants
- doesn’t want his son to find out he is an average loser
- 8 months sober, in hell
- bored, because no job and too much generational wealth
- former alcoholic due to stress of being retired in 20's
- Anxiety over peaking, all downhill from here
- no son, no point (despite previous claim 'dont want son to realise im average loser')
- going to use a 6 foot auger to get broken glass out of his sisters toilet
- stabbed a pit bull after he disrespected his cat
- lights out because he didn’t pay electric bill
- wants to see where his autoblow 3000 is manufactured
- pretend, unspecified girlfriend wants me to meet her parents, because dont want to fall for imaginary manipulation
- difficulty spelling hindsight
- concerned over imaginary gfs immaturity
- contemplating cheating on his imaginary gf with a mature imaginary 19 year old
- fell off a roof almost died
- calling it quits first drink in 11 months
-moms cat is skinny
-dying alone drinking
-wants to die
-read the Bible now wants to an hero
-gf made him food in a styrafoam takeout container
-hired a maid named ***** and span

I thought misc detectives were just a joke,

Aw fuk bye