For many years I’ve been feeling like I do too much in my friendships. For example I am the one that plans stuff. People sometimes hint about hanging out but I have to go through the actual motions to get things set up. And I’ve expressed my desire to expand the group so it’s easier to meet new people and I’ve struggled to do so many times. To be fair I got partial help but I felt frustrated how hard it was to do so. And if I leave people be then people rarely contact me to hang out. And I would like to be in friendships where we have a vision of a great friend group and we all put in. And I want to feel understood.

I’ve read about how friends can be one aspect of a great life which I’ve very much wanted for a very long time. But I’ve been telling myself recently it’s just FOMO. So I’ve been working on myself by doing less and less for my friendships in recent months. I figured I’d do a few swan song activities and then maybe I’ll just end up hanging out once a year or something.

Has anyone gone through this? How were you able to close this kind of chapter in your life and be at peace?

how old are you

the older you get the more difficult it is to see friends on a regular bases. family life, gfs and kids can get in the way.

up to your early/mid twenties it's possible. unless you live in an area that has tons of social life where you can all hang out together. you will notice couples just going by doing their own thing

in my mid 20s i used to be the guy that would organise group meals out at all you can eat buffets and some pool or drinks - just to chill and catch up. up to 6 guys (no homo) which was tough as everyone has wives/schedules. they all knew each other from uni and through me. but since i stopped making the effort there is no longer any group get togethers. funny how no one mentions them when i am 1 on 1 catching up. i guess they really don't care, and really never did

that's life son