Now I know the standard advice is "talk to them like they're guys, play it cool, be alpha."

But I have spent a LOT of time talking to guys, and virtually none talking to girls. Nearly all the of the people I talk to are 40yo Indian male engineers, 60yo white male golfers, 60yo white male football fans, or 40yo boomer male miscers.

And I've kind of got my talking to older guys shtick dialed in (no homo). You don't brag about yourself and be self-deprecating, because guys hate measuring dikks with guys "off the clock", and throw in some negative, ain't-it-awful type humor to relate to them. It's very misc-ey.

"I'm not super in to building murder-bots for the military, but I am super in to living by the beach, so fukk it, I sent them an application."
"That ball's a Hitler, it's never leaving the bunker."
"Fukk Gavin Newsom."

But you start talking to women like that, and they go.



Obv I don't pull this chit on my dates. First dates are all smiles and letting them talk 90% of the time and keeping things as upbeat as possible. But talking to like say married girls on a kickball team... it's clear they don't play that game.

So you guys are all miscers. I know what you guys are like with the masks off. How do you put the mask on around women?

Just don’t be weird

Just be yourself.

Are you 12 years old? Talking to girls is not that deep

You should have learnt this in school

They repsond based on how attracted they are to you. The words that come out of your mouth are 100% irrelevant.

Just be confident bro.

Its hard bruh objectively

Practice and experience.

It’s a horribly unhelpful answer but the truth.

It’s like job interviewing. Let’s say you never done a job interview before. Your first few are gonna be nervy and you’re gonna be very inhibited. But after doing 10 or 20 or so, you start relaxing into them a bit more. You’re still trying, but you’re less tense and all that chit. You been there before and heard all these questions before, it’s nothing new.
Now skip forward to having done 500 interviews or so. You legit activate “don’t give a fuk” mode, and you start answering some of the questions with brutally honest “I couldn’t care less” type responses. But oddly the interviewer respects you for it, because A) what you said is what he is thinking deep down anyway, and B) he hasn’t heard an honest word all day from the other candidates. BOOM you get the job.

Same deal with women.

I tend to be more assertive with men. I work around a lot of hard headed tradies and contractors who are always in a time crunch and goal oriented. I don't sugar coat my speech with them. Just tell them how it is and call them out on their bs if they need it... I think I'm more patient with women. I think it's individual though. Obviously I treat my girlfriend a lot differently than some old lady im doing work for.

BRB school.



100% male STEM academy high school crew. 90% male undergrad crew. 98% male grad program crew.

The next time imbored21 makes a thread about texting his hinge matches, open it and take notes

Lol

just sorta talked to a retired army black girl e-7 what she said
lol

This is a "you" question that you are going to have to work out for yourself.

We are all a dozen or so different people stuffed in to one body. You are a son, grandson, brother, friend, colleague etc and each uses different vocabulary, humour, sexual content, assertiveness, deference etc

The "you" that you are trying to discover is that of "romantic/sexual partner" and nobody can tell you who that person is or how to be him. You are looking at a process of trial and error, which most people went through as teens, but you are now having to go through in your late twenties.

The process of trial and error is something that everybody has to go through to become a "sexual being" andnotgoing through it is one of the causes of inceldom. They have psychosexual arrested development and are juststuck, unable to move forwards.

You are just going to have to be a teenager, with the awkwardness, angst and heartbreak that comes with it.

Damn…

Who the fuk are you? Not sure I’ve ever seen you post before but it’s refreshing to see a quality post on the misc.

It's interesting you bring up job interviews, cause I had an interview Friday that went very well. I was smiling, they were laughing, locked up a final round interview for this next week.

I haven't done all that many job interviews in the grand scheme of things - maybe 2 dozen? But the white boomer STEMlord manager that's holding interviews on Friday, is the same dude you find on playing on a golf course Saturday, and the same guy you find watching football in a sports bar Sunday. I've met that guy like 500 different times.

Honestly forget my response. DuracellBunny's post is solid gold and all that needs to be said on the topic.

There are no shortcuts or hacks. Experience is the best teacher. The more you put yourself in these situations the more you will learn. You'll crash and burn a lot but that's life.

You actually have the most important pre-requisite, which is that your command of the English language is pretty impressive. That gives you an advantage over a lot of other guys, at least when it comes to talking. All you're lacking now is the experience.