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Forum » Corporate america is savage. Cot damn
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Thread: Corporate america is savage. Cot damn

post 1694362603 12-04-2023, 03:20 PM
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Corporate america is savage. Cot damn

Found out today that a guy that's been with the company for 27 years or so was let go, without notice. Like one day he woke up and they said today is your last day, sorry.

This was a guy that was very experienced in what he did.

Supposedly it's because of a restructuring.. we are moving into services and that guy was no longer needed.

Year end bonuses were paid last Friday so I'm wondering if they stiffed this guy, but on the flipside I know he got a nice severance package.

That's not the weird part.. weird part is that I've done barely any work the past year and my manager knows this, despite that I still got a $15k bonus and still have my job. Wat.

The decision came from way up on the food chain so I can see why it happened, because they likely barely knew the guy they let go.
Monster0ultra self proclaimed "Chad" face pic looks like vtech school shooter: https://i.imgur.com/z2m6Why.jpg
post 1694362693 12-04-2023, 03:22 PM
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You got a 15k bonus? How about spreading the wealth around boyo...
post 1694362743 12-04-2023, 03:23 PM
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Originally Posted By Getter_done⏩
You got a 15k bonus? How about spreading the wealth around boyo...
I already spread it around via taxes, NYC took $2.5k of that, federal took another $4k
Monster0ultra self proclaimed "Chad" face pic looks like vtech school shooter: https://i.imgur.com/z2m6Why.jpg
post 1694362833 12-04-2023, 03:26 PM
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Originally Posted By TugOfPeace⏩
I already spread it around via taxes, NYC took $2.5k of that, federal took another $4k
Brootal
post 1694362843 12-04-2023, 03:26 PM
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He should have left on his own a long time ago
post 1694362893 12-04-2023, 03:27 PM
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I once laid off an engineer who had been with the company 30 years. He was one of the original guys who put the company on the map. A cornerstone guy.

He cried, telling me about his disabled adult son he still takes care of.
post 1694362983 12-04-2023, 03:29 PM
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Bonuses are not really discretionary anymore.

If a company decides to pay out a bonus, EVERYONE gets a bonus (whether they're a superstar employee or a lazy f/ck). They may get different rates, but EVERYONE must be paid a bonus to avoid discrimination lawsuits.

I work as a finance manager, and every month we accrue a provision for bonus payments. That's cause if the CEO wants to get his bonus, then he must authorize for everyone to get a bonus as well
- even Jamaal and Shannequa who don't contribute sh/t and wouldn't know their ass from their elbow.


This is further proof that only a fool works hard. Your goal as an employee should be to leech off your employer as much as possible while doing f/ck-all at your job.
Everything I post is satire.
Tricknology Grand Master.
post 1694363003 12-04-2023, 03:30 PM
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Always remember that your company doesn't give a chit about you.
post 1694363063 12-04-2023, 03:30 PM
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Originally Posted By ErnieMccracken⏩
I once laid off an engineer who had been with the company 30 years. He was one of the original guys who put the company on the map. A cornerstone guy.

He cried, telling me about his disabled adult son he still takes care of.
You really let a miscer starve?
post 1694363103 12-04-2023, 03:32 PM
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Originally Posted By Anachron⏩
I didn't realize corporations were holding guns to people's heads to work there.

If the guy worked there for 27 years, that's on him, no one owes him anything.
classic mistake of not changing employers if you want to advance and not learning how to bull**** every step of the way

problem is, some people, whether they enjoy their day-to-day or not, are actually not very biologically suited to this configuration

they just want to do a nice day's of work and go home, not think about **** and worry about X Y and Z

bound to never "go far"


on a more general note, in terms of allocating resources efficiently, capitalism is literally one hair better than communism
communist until you get rich
rightwing until financially secure
atheist until the plane starts falling
slootist until you get married
muslim after you get married
post 1694363163 12-04-2023, 03:33 PM
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BTW, if that guy is high IQ, he'd negotiate a contract to come back as a consultant.

If he's been with the company that long, then he's accumulated a wealth of institutional knowledge that could be transferable to other departments.

The company just wants him off the payroll to reduce their Fringe Expense. Most likely they'd be okay with his pay hitting consulting expense instead of payroll.
Everything I post is satire.
Tricknology Grand Master.
post 1694363203 12-04-2023, 03:33 PM
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Originally Posted By Anachron⏩
I didn't realize corporations were holding guns to people's heads to work there.

If the guy worked there for 27 years, that's on him, no one owes him anything.
27 years is a long ass time. I imagine he was salaried on $200k or so. I know what the severance package looks like; it's 1.5 weeks base pay per year of service.

So this guy got a severance package for 27 * 1.5 = 40.5 weeks base pay = $155k or so

If he was somehow making $150k salary he would've still left with $117k

Not bad, not bad.
Monster0ultra self proclaimed "Chad" face pic looks like vtech school shooter: https://i.imgur.com/z2m6Why.jpg
post 1694363213 12-04-2023, 03:33 PM
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Doggy dog world out there, you either survive, thrive or die.

In any job market, no one is safe.
post 1694363263 12-04-2023, 03:34 PM
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Originally Posted By ErnieMccracken⏩
I once laid off an engineer who had been with the company 30 years. He was one of the original guys who put the company on the map. A cornerstone guy.

He cried, telling me about his disabled adult son he still takes care of.
post 1694363343 12-04-2023, 03:36 PM
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Things they don't teach you in school /10
post 1694363483 12-04-2023, 03:37 PM
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Originally Posted By N0stradamus⏩
Bonuses are not really discretionary anymore.

If a company decides to pay out a bonus, EVERYONE gets a bonus (whether they're a superstar employee or a lazy f/ck). They may get different rates, but EVERYONE must be paid a bonus to avoid discrimination lawsuits.

I work as a finance manager, and every month we accrue a provision for bonus payments. That's cause if the CEO wants to get his bonus, then he must authorize for everyone to get a bonus as well
- even Jamaal and Shannequa who don't contribute sh/t and wouldn't know their ass from their elbow.


This is further proof that only a fool works hard. Your goal as an employee should be to leech off your employer as much as possible while doing f/ck-all at your job.
At my company our bonus is a target of our salary.

However, there are multipliers.

Say the business unit does really well, the multiplier for the business unit can be up to 2x.

Individual performance has a multiplier as well, which can also go up to 2x, but can be 0x as well (no bonus).

Maximum payout is 3x.

So for me, my bonus is 7% of base salary. What could happen is that the BU can have a 2x multiplier but if my performance is trash, my manager can tell me to go fuk myself and give me a 0 for individual performance, which means I get nothing.

Or, he can give me a 100 for individual performance and I get 2x my 6% bonus.


This year, somehow despite doing NOTHING, and my manager knows this, I played my cards right and he gave me a 100 for individual performance. Got my bonus. Just hope they don't somehow claw it back this week, if that's even allowed. It really makes me wonder if what you say is true, that bonuses are given to everybody. That's not the case with small companies but for corporations, who knows.

As for your last comment, that's pretty much what I've done the past 5 years. Barely did any work. Not proud of it but I still don't get how I got away with it.
Monster0ultra self proclaimed "Chad" face pic looks like vtech school shooter: https://i.imgur.com/z2m6Why.jpg
post 1694363523 12-04-2023, 03:38 PM
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Originally Posted By ErnieMccracken⏩
I once laid off an engineer who had been with the company 30 years. He was one of the original guys who put the company on the map. A cornerstone guy.

He cried, telling me about his disabled adult son he still takes care of.
THen he's a f/cking moron. Any engineer worth a damn would have realized that engineers are always the first to be let go. Had he any business savvy, he'd have transitioned to more of a managerial role instead of staying as a a design engineer.


Design engineers are the first to be fired as soon as we get a functional prototype. It's the manufacturing engineers who are then tasked with figuring out how to configure the assembly line to produce the unit on a mass scale with the cheapest available component parts.

Design engineers are expendable, manufacturing engineers have slightly more value, but the useless f/cks in finance who don't generate revenue (but leech off the company) are the ones who have most survivability in corporate America.
Everything I post is satire.
Tricknology Grand Master.
post 1694364013 12-04-2023, 03:46 PM
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If he was there 27 years he probably had a way higher salary than the average person on the team.

Imagine he joined in 1996. Let's say he started at $60k base. Assuming zero promotions, zero other considerations like that in general. If he got 3% bumps annually, his base salary would now be $133k. Likely he had promotions, maybe even one time entertained an offer elsewhere then stuck around because of a counter offer further increasing his pay. But even without that, it's likely his salary more than doubled.

Also, if your company is like many others, he probably unlocked some extra vacation hours due to his tenure. IE my company gives you 3 weeks worth of EXTRA vacation by the 25 years mark, versus someone starting out. All that extra vacation, and a larger salary than others, even if he's an expert, his output needs to have caught up with that too for higher ups to not get salty.
post 1694364063 12-04-2023, 03:46 PM
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Best to pay him a good severance or he will come back blasting.
post 1694364083 12-04-2023, 03:47 PM
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Originally Posted By Visel⏩
If he was there 27 years he probably had a way higher salary than the average person on the team.

Imagine he joined in 1996. Let's say he started at $60k base. Assuming zero promotions, zero other considerations like that in general. If he got 3% bumps annually, his base salary would now be $133k. Likely he had promotions, maybe even one time entertained an offer elsewhere then stuck around because of a counter offer further increasing his pay. But even without that, it's likely his salary more than doubled.

Also, if your company is like many others, he probably unlocked some extra vacation hours due to his tenure. IE my company gives you 3 weeks worth of EXTRA vacation by the 25 years mark, versus someone starting out.
For his job title I know he was pulling in $175k+, not including bonus.
Monster0ultra self proclaimed "Chad" face pic looks like vtech school shooter: https://i.imgur.com/z2m6Why.jpg
post 1694364183 12-04-2023, 03:49 PM
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Originally Posted By N0stradamus⏩
THen he's a f/cking moron. Any engineer worth a damn would have realized that engineers are always the first to be let go. Had he any business savvy, he'd have transitioned to more of a managerial role instead of staying as a a design engineer.


Design engineers are the first to be fired as soon as we get a functional prototype. It's the manufacturing engineers who are then tasked with figuring out how to configure the assembly line to produce the unit on a mass scale with the cheapest available component parts.

Design engineers are expendable, manufacturing engineers have slightly more value, but the useless f/cks in finance who don't generate revenue (but leech off the company) are the ones who have most survivability in corporate America.
Corporate finance seems boring as fuk, don't they just stare at numbers on a screen all day
Monster0ultra self proclaimed "Chad" face pic looks like vtech school shooter: https://i.imgur.com/z2m6Why.jpg
post 1694364243 12-04-2023, 03:50 PM
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Originally Posted By N0stradamus⏩
THen he's a f/cking moron. Any engineer worth a damn would have realized that engineers are always the first to be let go. Had he any business savvy, he'd have transitioned to more of a managerial role instead of staying as a a design engineer.


Design engineers are the first to be fired as soon as we get a functional prototype. It's the manufacturing engineers who are then tasked with figuring out how to configure the assembly line to produce the unit on a mass scale with the cheapest available component parts.

Design engineers are expendable, manufacturing engineers have slightly more value, but the useless f/cks in finance who don't generate revenue (but leech off the company) are the ones who have most survivability in corporate America.
when you say finance in a corporation do you mean FPnA and Audit?
communist until you get rich
rightwing until financially secure
atheist until the plane starts falling
slootist until you get married
muslim after you get married
post 1694364313 12-04-2023, 03:51 PM
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Originally Posted By BalognaNbeans⏩
Always remember that your company doesn't give a chit about you.
It’s all about beating EPS estimate so the C suite gets bonuses
----------------------
☆ QUEBEC CREW ☆
je me souviens
post 1694364453 12-04-2023, 03:53 PM
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Worst thing you can do is be at one place that long. With yearly pay rises etc, he was probably being paid far too much for that position. I knew of a receptionist that had been with a builder 20 years and she was on nearly more than management through pay rises etc. They let her go in the end as it was unsustainable for the builder.
HTC

Negging the pest AlfBundy on sight.
post 1694364593 12-04-2023, 03:57 PM
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Fukn lol at spending 27 years with a company unless it’s yours
post 1694365053 12-04-2023, 04:08 PM
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Originally Posted By Destor⏩
Fukn lol at spending 27 years with a company unless it’s yours
Boomers don't know any better, brah.
post 1694366123 12-04-2023, 04:31 PM
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Originally Posted By Destor⏩
Fukn lol at spending 27 years with a company unless it’s yours
IDK, some ppl just want a feeling of security and feel like mutual loyalty that comes with a longer tenure gives them that.

Of course, in 2023, there is no such thing as loyalty and everyone is just ruthless bastards at this point.
mo e
post 1694366183 12-04-2023, 04:33 PM
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Originally Posted By mulletwarrior⏩
IDK, some ppl just want a feeling of security and feel like mutual loyalty that comes with a longer tenure gives them that.

Of course, in 2023, there is no such thing as loyalty and everyone is just ruthless bastards at this point.
capitalism's allocation of resources via corporate structures was never meant for that

lol at thinking it is a loyalty problem
communist until you get rich
rightwing until financially secure
atheist until the plane starts falling
slootist until you get married
muslim after you get married
post 1694366203 12-04-2023, 04:33 PM
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Originally Posted By TugOfPeace⏩
Corporate finance seems boring as fuk, don't they just stare at numbers on a screen all day
The complete opposite. In corporate finance we provide the data, run the models, and advise the CEO on who to let go.

Corporate finance is the GOAT.
post 1694366423 12-04-2023, 04:39 PM
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Originally Posted By GenXTrumpFan⏩
The complete opposite. In corporate finance we provide the data, run the models, and advise the CEO on who to let go.

Corporate finance is the GOAT.
holy ****, this really is SillieBazille


and please, run the models, as if you run anything complex in terms of quantitative analysis

can't deny the close relationship finance modelling has on a business and its balance sheet, which is its lifeline but come on now

you have many services industry that parachute into positions and are much more interesting, like strategy consulting and investment banking

tech also has roles like product managers that end up heavily on the COO function side and can end up a Co-CEO or CEO as much as a CFO

not to mention that in industries that matter, you have corporate development teams that advise on future activities, internal MnA decisions etc, people of such kind go only into FPnA if they hate their careers so much they want to have a ok salary to cushiness ratio
communist until you get rich
rightwing until financially secure
atheist until the plane starts falling
slootist until you get married
muslim after you get married
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