I tell it like it is, you know and I know that you’re not going to meet a girl to date at a carnival or at the aquarium or airport or farmers market.

I don’t care about your fake made up fairy tales that you banged a 10/10 18yo and married her that you met at a video store or furniture store. Don’t write to me, write to Penthouse Forum.

You’re not going to meet a girl to date at the portapotie line at the EDM festival, shes in front of you, youre casually flirting to kill time, finally youre next and as shes leaving you catch a wiff of the massive toilet clogging snake she just dropped as your eyes meet her gaze and you know shes the one. Its not happening.