I'll start with the basics. I'm 5'10'', 170-175 lbs, 10% bf, and 37 years old. I'm also white which I do think matters no racist.

Background:

I'm not autistic like most miscers and I know exactly why I'm in the situation that I'm in. I make no excuses for it and blame being ugly or blame women only wanting Chad because truthfully that's all horsesh*t.

At the moment I have no friends. I used to have friends but getting older you lose them to relationships. The reason I've struggled to get into relationships is multi-factored and it's important to have the context of who I am if you're going to give me good advice.

I always had friends growing up until they started to fall off like I mentioned but I was never good at getting girls. Reason is I'm introverted. Not the socially weird nerdy introvert type. I can actually hold conversations just fine, especially one on one, but I'm on the quieter side naturally especially when I get in groups. I'm a very guarded person is probably the best way to think of me. If there's a criticism I've heard from girls all throughout my life it's always "why don't you talk more" or that I "don't open up". I don't disagree with that; it really takes me time to feel comfortable opening up to people.

Like I said introverted.... at least verbally. I have no problem doing things that would embarrass others and I actually like being the center of attention in those contexts. But I hate talking which is 99% of what you need to be good at to get girls.

That's problem #1 for me. The next problem is that I have very limited opportunities. Even when I was younger and had a social circle I neglected it in favor of working toward accomplishments. I would skip hanging with friends back then in favor of the gym or skip going out drinking. There's been personal benefits to this. I've always been in great shape. People will come up in the gym (aka dudes) and ask me questions pretty frequently or compliment me. I'm not a huge guy as you can tell from my stats, but I'm very lean and have great vascularity. Yes I've run cycles too and have done physique comps in the past. This is not an e-brag, in spite of this strength I'm still FA. I'm also accomplished in my career, make $200k/year and have a senior level position. People look to me for to make decisions. I spent a lot of time building this successful physical and financial life though and what's suffered is opportunities to interact in more social situations with friends, make connections, and ultimately find someone to be with.

This lack of opportunities has become exacerbated as I've gotten older. As I said many of my friends from school have moved on in life and the amount of events I go to now is basically 0. Sadly none of them have ever really had any good connections to hook me up with people they know or their significant others know either.

I share most of this to give the context that most people are genuinely perplexed that I can't find someone interested in me because the reality is I should be able to on paper. I'm not a 10/10 Chad either and I've definitely decline the older I've become. Unbiased rating of my face was probably a 7.5 when I was in my 20s and early 30s. Now it's probably a 6.5 or maybe even a 6. It's possible I'm being hard on myself but I'm a bit of a perfectionist so seeing myself decline is hard to swallow.

Problem #3. It's similar to problem #1 in that I'm introverted but it's slightly different. Problem #3 is that simply put I do not have an entertaining personality. My humor is a bit of an acquired taste that revolves around making fun of things. Where this is an advantage is that I am good at teasing girls. But largely that's the extent of the advantage. The truth is I'm not someone who can entertain a girl especially if she doesn't have anything to offer to the conversation. If it's on me to carry the conversation it's going to be painful for both of us. The girls I do the best are the ones who are overly confident toward me but that's really not most girls. And let's be honest, the overly confident ones also tend to be massive sluts and I will always clash with those types in the end.

But I'm not funny enough or entertaining enough. Remember problem #2 where I've spent most of my life working to accomplish things. That's what I'm good at. My mind is very to the point of wanting to accomplish things instead of enjoying the moment and going with the flow type. I'm doing a poor job of describing this but maybe a better way of thinking about it is that I'm very competitive and have a personality that's fixated on winning rather than being a fun person to be around.


Last few notes. I work remote, so no work friends or work events to socialize. I'm in a co-ed softball league for the last month. Most of the guys are very weird and awkward. The girls are all fat and unattractive. The guys in particular feel like a group of female repellants out and about. At the moment it's really the only angle I've got to solve problem #2 though.

The state I'm in is absolutely on me though and the worst thing about all of this is I've made my situation 100x harder trying to fix it now being older with a declining appearance (but still better than most) and little to no social life. My biggest regret is not focusing on this more in my early and/or mid 20s. I would have had no problem finding a girl if I had put in the effort but I was preoccupied by other things and I neglected it.

But that's the story, so how would you fix this situation? What steps would you actually take if you were me?

Post a pic of your face.

I'm not posting my f*cking face on this site and if that's what you're focused on you're really not interested in giving actual advice. There's tons of guys with girls who are average and even below average looking.

You incel ph aggots need to stop blaming your faces. I clearly do not have a face that has girls rushing up to me. At the same time I also don't have a face that girls look at in total disgust. That means I'm in category 3 where 99% of men fall. It's a face that's not going ot have a dramatically polarizing effect one way or the other.

Sastisfied?

Go on bumble and hope for the best. At your age, it's tough. Since you have your chit together, if you are open to dating younger women, I'd suggest attending local college hangouts and events. You might be able to score some young pussy that way. But if you're like me, and mentally 900 years old, then you won't be able to click with any women. And you're just gonna have to accept that you're gonna be flying solo. Also, try lowering your standards. Fat girls have bigger tits and feel better. Don't rule her out just because she is fat unless you literally cannot get hard.

Best option is to try to meet girls on dating apps if you have a 6.5 face

You won't be getting the hot girls but a 5/10 girl is possible

Why not put yourself out there (bars, hobby groups, etc.?)

If not you make enough money to travel and meet locals wherever you go

I'm happily married. But I've also posted all kinds of pics of my face on here. What's the problem? You aren't important enough to pretend like posting your face here will harm you in any way.

Don't post your face, OP. You could lose your job for being associated with this nazi board.

ive gotten actual face ratings of 3 and 4 from two different raters. yet in real life girls start conversations with me, get close to me, etc. even when im out in public sometimes. doesnt make sense that youre x2 my smv and get nothing.

This. He thinks he's a. 6, but I also think I'm a 6, but I never had much issue with women and women still approach me every once in a while, so IDK what to think here.

10% bodyfat? I dun't belive

i get nothing in online dating though and i look at my pictures and ithink im ugly af. so quite frankly i have no idea how accurate any of these ratings are anymore. but you cant be 7.5 and literally never get an approach or stupid question asked

I'm not posting my face. In high school everyone thought I looked like Matt LeBlanc if you have to compare me to someone. Friends was very popular back then. As I've gotten older I don't think I look as much like him as I used to. My face has become leaner and more defined, less baby faced. A bit of a harder look but I still likely resemble him to some extent too.

I know he's had different looks. His super young look is not the best comparison but this is pretty accurate look of his that I would say is where I compared best.

Godfrd weighs 100lbs more than you OP but is still leaner than you. How is that possible? He’s also smarter, stronger, better looking.

As for how you should get a GF, don’t worry about it. Did you know that Godfrd is better than you? That’s the advice.

You're a hard 3. Srs. You're ugly as fuk.

I mean I objectively make more money than you. What do you want from me? Want me to buy you a hot meal?Thanks bro. I appreciate it.



I think I look pretty good.

Thank you to the following people for actual advice.I've done Bumble/dating apps. The girls are hideous. It's also impossible to get them to meet. In all honestly I don't know how some of you can pull from them. I have a better odds going out solo to a bar and cold approaching. I truly believe apps is playing the dating game on expert mode. These girls have 100s of matches and lose interest very quickly.

Keep in mind I'm not someone who is entertaining. I can have conversations just fine and I'm well spoken but I don't exactly scream this guy is so fun and exciting I need to sleep with him!!!


I'm also not lowering my standards to fat girls. I'm not trying to sound conceited but I would look very out of place with a fat girl. I've tried to give an honest picture of myself. I have an athletic look and am visibly muscular. I really would rather be alone that drop down to dating fat girls so if that's the advice I'm perfectly content doing my own thing and being alone.

If I really believed the problem was I that I'm trying to bat out of my league I'd happily accept it and give up. But my problem is more so that I don't even get at bats, metaphorically speaking. I legit need to strike out about 1000 times with girls I'm attracted to before I would even consider dating a fat girl and I'm not even close to striking out that many times yet.


As for the college hangouts/events... I have thought about this. That was part of my goal with the co-ed softball team. I picked a location near a state university here. Some of the girls are young and a couple are actually grad students but like I said most are fat. My current plan is actually to try to friend zone them so at the moment this one is at least underway to some extent to see if I can network my way to some better options.

I'm open to other ideas where I could connect with that college aged crowd beyond the softball team though. The only other thought I had was to simply go to the college bar road by myself but haven't had the balls to go out by myself doing that just yet. I'm less than confident that will be successful without any kind of friend group.See above responseIf you can be more specific that would be helpful. I have joined a softball team as mentioned. What other ideas would be worthwhile that has a good chance of socializing would you say?


Edit:

I could do a volleyball league and maybe have more attractive options? I feel like I'm stuck trying to sports angle to make friends and work my way to opportunities with girls. That's how I made friends growing up. That and classes. I have also thought about taking a class but most classes seem like it's a one night thing where you don't have repeated exposure to people. I reason the best chance of success is where I see the same people multiple times for some reason or another. I'd literally have to sign up for a class at the university for the type of class where it'd repeat enough but I sort of have this thing called a job getting in the way of that idea, even if I am remote would be tough to swing.

Thanks for the reminder. OP, godfrd paid more in taxes than you made in a year. His home gym is worth more than your house. Did you know that Godfrd is better than you?

I should furthermore add that Godfrd is more humble than you. Godfrd respects women more than you. Where I’m going with this is that godfrd is not just physically, financially, and intellectually superior to you, he is also morally superior to you. He is a good man. Also, did you know that godfrd is better than you?

Don't be mad about it. You can make something of yourself just like I did. First step, move out of your mom's house. And try to not call her next time you get ganked by a hooker.

maybe stop trying men?

How did your face go from a 7.5 to potentially a 6 from 20s to your current age of 37? I know you mentioned being lean, and that will show more wrinkles / aging but still, that seems extreme. You sound like you're lacking confidence.Women love it when you do this. Lean into it and make it playful, not harsh.You're completely wrong about this. You should let her do ~80% of the talking on the first few dates. Ask relevant questions and actually listen (a lot of guys miss this, but it's important) to get her to open up. Women love talking about themselves and it gives you an opportunity to vet them. Don't be judgmental to her face, just let her run her mouth and evaluate if she is someone to have fun with or is actual girlfriend material.

Online dating is your best option without question but I expect your profiles suck and you have a very defeatist mentality about the apps. Succeeding at them is just like any other skill you have where you've become accomplished, you need to be willing to put in the work. I'm speaking from personal experience as a 6-7, introverted, guarded person. It sounds like you have a lot to offer and based on the description of your personality you should be able to pull.

Friend circles and co-ed sports provide an extremely limited pool of potential gfs as you've already discovered. When was your last significant relationship and for how long? What's your history with hooking up? From your post, it's hard to get a sense of exactly where you're running into issues with women. My guess based on limited info is that your problem is in your head, and that can be fixed.