Why do so many guys boast about how much they want to beat off?

-woman posts slutty photo
-guys respond "ho man I'm gonna have sum fun w/myself rn! I ruin soooooo many socks"

guys brag about their porn collection and how much they beat off to whatever porn they watch

I don't get it; if you want to do that, then go right ahead but it's like you're expecting semen-covered high-fives from your fellow j/o bros or something. As if we're all proud of you or supposed to be jealous of you as if we couldn't do that ourselves.

It's just a weird flex. Help me understand this because I am not understanding