Hallo, I'm back from band camp.

It's amazing how I went from a 3 day hold to where I am now which is joy and bliss.

I remembered back in 2018 I found this Navy SEAL Commander's web site about the meditation they do to manage the stress in their jobs. Obviously their livelihood is MILLION times more stressful than my life.

I started the meditation exercises on YouTube and saw that he had a 30 day program for $39. Why not? I struggled as he kept talking about future goals and I had none. I had just lived in misery and somehow just trying to get through each day. Well, the 30 day program changed my life. I learned that I have fear loops playing through my brain all day long which contribute to my severe physical anxiety symptoms. For instance, I watch the news I see how bad the economy is, and then I worry that I will lose my job, and if I lose my job I become homeless, etc. You get the picture.

I learned how to intersect those fear loops with "You've got this, easy day" and then replace it with something positive, "Every day in every way I'm getting better and better, Hooyahay". It works!

So after that i signed up for the 1 year intensive program to really dig deep into these topics.

Every day I start with:

- 12 minutes of box breathing meditation
- 5-10 minutes of visualization
- 10-20+ minute of yoga

The visualization part actually feels better than a drug. I'm taking less medication, moving out into my own apartment this month and excited about a new career!

Now when I open my laptop to 100+ emails and 20 Slack messages I don't feel overwhelmed with burning skin. It's a GREAT feeling. Not that I'm selling his program, nor will I list it, just that I finally found the light at the end of the tunnel.

Oh well

fuk off we're full