I have been addicted to internet forums, video games, tv shows, and porn since I was 13. I'm in my 30s now and I still have those issues.

Recently, I decided to stop it all for a few days. I believe people call this a "dopamine detox".

What I found was that on the third day, it felt pretty painful. I couldn't go on the internet, check instagram, watch tv, or read forums to pass time; I had to be alone with my thoughts. I realized that most of the day, I'm simply alone; working from home alone, going to the gym alone, eating at home alone, etc. The reason it hasn't bothered me much is because I've kept myself entertained with people that aren't actually real.The realization was that I was using the internet to avoid facing the reality of my own lack of social life. Using it as a numbing agent to avoid having to face that reality.

The interesting thing though, is that at nighttime on the third day, I imagined this girl that I thought was really hot, but wasn't sexually attracted to. That night, I actually felt that she was beautiful and my sexual attraction for her was actually there to some extent. I think all this dopamine isn't natural or good for the body. I felt truly at peace without all of it. Relief.

Anyone else feel this is true? It was a hard reality for me to face, but then I started to think about what I'd have to look back on when I'm old. Would I rather have spent my life talking to people face to face, being in public, doing things in real life, or would I rather just do things online? Really made me think.

Probably true. This is why I've been glad to find Discord servers to chat in recently. At least I'm have real time back and forth conversations with people. I know I'm never going to make friends IRL so that is as good as it is going to get.

Why will you not make friends IRL? This is what I mean, that discord stuff isn't real. The people are real, but we are human beings, we aren't meant to be forming connections through anonymous chat rooms.

It all changed in 2012.


This flat earth was better when Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift were together.