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Whirlwindtobias 2.0- No more relationships, only self-development (mountaineering)
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08-20-2024, 12:27 PM
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#1
- WhirlwindTobias
- Man Against Mediocrity
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- WhirlwindTobias
- Man Against Mediocrity
- Join Date: Jun 2012
- Location: Malopolskie, Poland
- Age: 39
- Posts: 14,541
- Rep Power: 101152
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Whirlwindtobias 2.0- No more relationships, only self-development (mountaineering)
Hey everyone. TLDR in response to a breakup I'm returning to the person I was when I thought I'd spend my whole life single. One purely focused on personal development, because if you don't have a family that's all you have left. You know what the alternative is.
Goals (they are repeated in the long version):
-Study Polish and earn EU citizenship (Thanks to Brexit I only have perm. residence entitlement in Poland or UK)
-Go to the highest point in most European countries and perhaps beyond
-Make local friends
-Work more on my physique
-Get better at playing music
Long version:
Spoiler!
I'm going to be sharing my progress not just for potential motivation but to hold myself accountable. I don't imagine this thread will get much traffic, at least to start. It's on me to stay consistent.
Goals (they are repeated in the long version):
-Study Polish and earn EU citizenship (Thanks to Brexit I only have perm. residence entitlement in Poland or UK)
-Go to the highest point in most European countries and perhaps beyond
-Make local friends
-Work more on my physique
-Get better at playing music
Long version:
Spoiler!
As I wrote recently, my 5.5 year relationship ended in May. On top of that my landlord wanted to clear the apartment of residents, so I had to find a new place. Two big life changes.
It was a chitty month, but I felt truly alive having been stuck in a stupor dealing with flatmate bullchit and my (long distance) relationship was on its last legs. I had become complacent and not doing anything to better my situation - We were due to move closer in August, for what it's worth - which also involved moving country.
That's all irrelevant now, I'm in Poland for the foreseeable future and there's no new relationship on the horizon. So what am I doing with it?
In one month I'll have lived here for 9 years, and I never properly studied Polish because my girlfriends had great English (I've had three). It was also more excusable to not have servicable Polish, because I had only been living here for a couple of years. Now if a girl learns I've been here for almost a decade, it's going to be a huge turn off. In addition, my dating pool is more limited as a result.
-Study Polish
My ex girlfriend was a student so she didn't have time or money to go mountaineering or on vacation, so I took a long hiatus from long-distance hiking and climbing. This of course affected my fitness and masculinity. Before I came to Poland and ultimately moved, I had a plan to visit every European country and go to its highest point.
-Go once again on mountaineering trips, summit highest point in every country.
I didn't make any local friends, because I've had relationships one after the other. But relationships end, and then you end up with nothing.
-Make friends in Kraków
I put on some mid-section weight during covid, after losing my appetite for 3 weeks in May I lost said weight but over the years I have lost muscle mass compared to my late 20's/early 30's. I want to be in awesome shape for late 30's, not just slim.
-Actively work on my physique.
I have kept saying for the past 15 years I'm going to learn an instrument, but I get put down by not being consistent. I love music, especially progressive and wish I could play synth/keyboard/piano.
-Practice more on my keyboard.
It was a chitty month, but I felt truly alive having been stuck in a stupor dealing with flatmate bullchit and my (long distance) relationship was on its last legs. I had become complacent and not doing anything to better my situation - We were due to move closer in August, for what it's worth - which also involved moving country.
That's all irrelevant now, I'm in Poland for the foreseeable future and there's no new relationship on the horizon. So what am I doing with it?
In one month I'll have lived here for 9 years, and I never properly studied Polish because my girlfriends had great English (I've had three). It was also more excusable to not have servicable Polish, because I had only been living here for a couple of years. Now if a girl learns I've been here for almost a decade, it's going to be a huge turn off. In addition, my dating pool is more limited as a result.
-Study Polish
My ex girlfriend was a student so she didn't have time or money to go mountaineering or on vacation, so I took a long hiatus from long-distance hiking and climbing. This of course affected my fitness and masculinity. Before I came to Poland and ultimately moved, I had a plan to visit every European country and go to its highest point.
-Go once again on mountaineering trips, summit highest point in every country.
I didn't make any local friends, because I've had relationships one after the other. But relationships end, and then you end up with nothing.
-Make friends in Kraków
I put on some mid-section weight during covid, after losing my appetite for 3 weeks in May I lost said weight but over the years I have lost muscle mass compared to my late 20's/early 30's. I want to be in awesome shape for late 30's, not just slim.
-Actively work on my physique.
I have kept saying for the past 15 years I'm going to learn an instrument, but I get put down by not being consistent. I love music, especially progressive and wish I could play synth/keyboard/piano.
-Practice more on my keyboard.
I'm going to be sharing my progress not just for potential motivation but to hold myself accountable. I don't imagine this thread will get much traffic, at least to start. It's on me to stay consistent.
Into- Mountaineering, running & Djent/Progressive music.
Anti- Lack of accountability. Censorship, fat acceptance, & current wave feminism. That's why I left the UK.
PRs: Highest mt. - 2962m (Zugspitze), Longest day hike - 70km.
08-20-2024, 12:32 PM
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#2
08-20-2024, 12:38 PM
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#3
- WhirlwindTobias
- Man Against Mediocrity
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- WhirlwindTobias
- Man Against Mediocrity
- Join Date: Jun 2012
- Location: Malopolskie, Poland
- Age: 39
- Posts: 14,541
- Rep Power: 101152
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For those that don't know, at 22 years old I felt hopeless at dating and social interaction. I decided to forget all of that noise and dedicate my life to solo projects.
The mountaineering part of that brought me to Poland and changed my life - I made 4 female friends and one of them became a romantic prospect. I had already had more success with dating from 26 y/o thanks to using apps, which gave me the confidence to pull her. That relationship came to an end 8 months after moving, but Poland had become my home at this point. UK culture just doesn't compare, you've seen what UK girls are like and political correctness is impossible to navigate.
Where am I going with this? With dating apps and moving here where girls are more likely to date someone like me, I've spent very little time being single and working on myself like I did at 22. It's 15 years later, several failed relationships - I'm kinda done. That's why there's no dating planned in the OP.
Here's a couple of pictures from my first trip to PL:
The mountaineering part of that brought me to Poland and changed my life - I made 4 female friends and one of them became a romantic prospect. I had already had more success with dating from 26 y/o thanks to using apps, which gave me the confidence to pull her. That relationship came to an end 8 months after moving, but Poland had become my home at this point. UK culture just doesn't compare, you've seen what UK girls are like and political correctness is impossible to navigate.
Where am I going with this? With dating apps and moving here where girls are more likely to date someone like me, I've spent very little time being single and working on myself like I did at 22. It's 15 years later, several failed relationships - I'm kinda done. That's why there's no dating planned in the OP.
Here's a couple of pictures from my first trip to PL:
Into- Mountaineering, running & Djent/Progressive music.
Anti- Lack of accountability. Censorship, fat acceptance, & current wave feminism. That's why I left the UK.
PRs: Highest mt. - 2962m (Zugspitze), Longest day hike - 70km.
08-20-2024, 12:50 PM
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#4
- WhirlwindTobias
- Man Against Mediocrity
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- WhirlwindTobias
- Man Against Mediocrity
- Join Date: Jun 2012
- Location: Malopolskie, Poland
- Age: 39
- Posts: 14,541
- Rep Power: 101152
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Another poor habit I picked up in this long distance relationship was gaming. COVID meant playing video games pretty much all day every day for a year, and it was one of the things we did together as a couple because it can be done online - But I ended up constantly logging into both our accounts and working on them (multi-boxing). Biggest MFing waste of my time in the end, I quit that game immediately after the breakup.
I had waited years to play Skyrim, finally bought it several months back - tried to play it post breakup and got bored after an hour. I have quit video games before, but the feeling of 'what am I even doing on this?' was very palpable. I could download Monster Hunter World today and spend hours on it...but for what? I feel like I have more pressing things RN and keep putting it off.
That's it for now.
I had waited years to play Skyrim, finally bought it several months back - tried to play it post breakup and got bored after an hour. I have quit video games before, but the feeling of 'what am I even doing on this?' was very palpable. I could download Monster Hunter World today and spend hours on it...but for what? I feel like I have more pressing things RN and keep putting it off.
That's it for now.
Into- Mountaineering, running & Djent/Progressive music.
Anti- Lack of accountability. Censorship, fat acceptance, & current wave feminism. That's why I left the UK.
PRs: Highest mt. - 2962m (Zugspitze), Longest day hike - 70km.
08-20-2024, 01:00 PM
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#5
08-20-2024, 01:08 PM
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#6
- alltrapbrah
- Registered User
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- alltrapbrah
- Registered User
- Join Date: Feb 2013
- Age: 41
- Posts: 8,035
- Rep Power: 42639
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I’m sensing a theme of social dysfunction, and I’m wondering whether remaining in Poland is a further hindrance to you rather than a help.
You hate the UK, fine, but have you considered a move to another English speaking country?
Making friends and improving socially is hard enough as it is, let alone throwing a foreign language into the mix. I feel like you may be playing the game on hard mode unnecessarily.
You hate the UK, fine, but have you considered a move to another English speaking country?
Making friends and improving socially is hard enough as it is, let alone throwing a foreign language into the mix. I feel like you may be playing the game on hard mode unnecessarily.
08-20-2024, 01:32 PM
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#7
- monster0ultra
- Join Date: Oct 2020
- Posts: 2,776
- Subscribers: 11
- Rep Power: 767
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I'm kind of with you. I want to focus on gymceling, strict diet, sleeping early, eating clean. Dealing with sloots is the exact opposite, eating trash food, alcohol and other substances, staying up late.
Relationships are even worse, sloots suck the life out of you, not in a good way, in an energy vampire way.
If you want to make babies though, need sloots. Modern society is probably the issue in that regard because sloots want to have fun and be empowered rather than raise kids.
Relationships are even worse, sloots suck the life out of you, not in a good way, in an energy vampire way.
If you want to make babies though, need sloots. Modern society is probably the issue in that regard because sloots want to have fun and be empowered rather than raise kids.
Balding is death. If you have no hair, you have no life.
08-20-2024, 01:43 PM
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#8
Dude you are 37 in what I believe is still a Christian dominant society. You mention your hobby, but what about money and work? If you are not stable financially then work to become so. If you are already financially stable work to become more so and also keep doing things you enjoy but also be open to a relationship. You can still date women under 35 and they can have children.
Don't give up. The evil this world is infested with grows everytime decent people give up.
Don't give up. The evil this world is infested with grows everytime decent people give up.
08-20-2024, 01:56 PM
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#9
- DolphinPilot
- Join Date: May 2015
- Posts: 49,469
- Rep Power: 367822
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Das it mane. There's always plenty of things out there to distract us. Relationships are great but I feel I don't have a whole lot of time as it is, and like you my personal goals and projects suffer.
As we get older time is always of the essence.Always.. Make good use of it no matter what. Good on you, op. Keep it all up and good luck.
As we get older time is always of the essence.Always.. Make good use of it no matter what. Good on you, op. Keep it all up and good luck.
08-20-2024, 02:07 PM
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#10
08-21-2024, 02:16 PM
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#11
- WhirlwindTobias
- Man Against Mediocrity
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- WhirlwindTobias
- Man Against Mediocrity
- Join Date: Jun 2012
- Location: Malopolskie, Poland
- Age: 39
- Posts: 14,541
- Rep Power: 101152
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Originally Posted By Silence2⏩
You're a waste of everyone's time. Bye.This is your own fault for not marrying. After one year dating max you should either propose or move on. LTR without marriage are a waste of everyone’s time.
Into- Mountaineering, running & Djent/Progressive music.
Anti- Lack of accountability. Censorship, fat acceptance, & current wave feminism. That's why I left the UK.
PRs: Highest mt. - 2962m (Zugspitze), Longest day hike - 70km.
08-21-2024, 02:22 PM
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#12
- WhirlwindTobias
- Man Against Mediocrity
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- WhirlwindTobias
- Man Against Mediocrity
- Join Date: Jun 2012
- Location: Malopolskie, Poland
- Age: 39
- Posts: 14,541
- Rep Power: 101152
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Originally Posted By alltrapbrah⏩
Post-Brexit my options are limited. Moving to Norway meant being a "skilled worker" or getting a job there within the schengen period (90 days), then hoping my residency comes through. My ex being Polish meant getting residency was a lot easier and she could stay there as long as she wanted, but it still took two months to set up her bank account, which you need to get residency, and then you have to wait a bit more extra.You hate the UK, fine, but have you considered a move to another English speaking country?
Making friends and improving socially is hard enough as it is, let alone throwing a foreign language into the mix. I feel like you may be playing the game on hard mode unnecessarily.
Making friends and improving socially is hard enough as it is, let alone throwing a foreign language into the mix. I feel like you may be playing the game on hard mode unnecessarily.
I'm an English teacher and I'm pretty much set for life here, there's no shortage of work. And I am able to afford a decent lifestyle even on 15-20 hours a week.
Originally Posted By monster0ultra⏩
There are plenty of girls here that don't take from you...but they don't support you either. They are brought up on the idea that the man should take care of everything except for the in-house duties, meanwhile nothing is stopping them from getting paid more than men, so they could bring in a second income but would rather use it on themselves.Relationships are even worse, sloots suck the life out of you, not in a good way, in an energy vampire way.
Woe betide if you're going through a rough period - you're on your own. Women act like men get paid 10x more than them and so we're not allowed to have problems.
Originally Posted By 1Cthulu1⏩
Thanks for the pep talk. I'm financially stable, average hourly wage here is 42 PLN and I get 75 from B2B, 120 from my personal clients.Dude you are 37 in what I believe is still a Christian dominant society. You mention your hobby, but what about money and work? If you are not stable financially then work to become so. If you are already financially stable work to become more so and also keep doing things you enjoy but also be open to a relationship. You can still date women under 35 and they can have children.
Don't give up. The evil this world is infested with grows every time decent people give up.
Don't give up. The evil this world is infested with grows every time decent people give up.
Native speaking English teachers get good green here especially after 5+ years in the industry.
Into- Mountaineering, running & Djent/Progressive music.
Anti- Lack of accountability. Censorship, fat acceptance, & current wave feminism. That's why I left the UK.
PRs: Highest mt. - 2962m (Zugspitze), Longest day hike - 70km.
08-21-2024, 02:51 PM
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#13
08-21-2024, 02:56 PM
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#14
- WhirlwindTobias
- Man Against Mediocrity
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- WhirlwindTobias
- Man Against Mediocrity
- Join Date: Jun 2012
- Location: Malopolskie, Poland
- Age: 39
- Posts: 14,541
- Rep Power: 101152
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Originally Posted By ymer⏩
Sure I'll just grab some flour and make a few in the kitchen.Cool I guess.
I would make babies if I were you tho.
I would make babies if I were you tho.
What if for whatever reason you couldn't find the right partner? Would you settle?
Into- Mountaineering, running & Djent/Progressive music.
Anti- Lack of accountability. Censorship, fat acceptance, & current wave feminism. That's why I left the UK.
PRs: Highest mt. - 2962m (Zugspitze), Longest day hike - 70km.
08-21-2024, 02:56 PM
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#15
- IlChosenOne
- Biggest loads in the NW
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- IlChosenOne
- Biggest loads in the NW
- Join Date: Jan 2015
- Location: Idaho, United States
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Skyrim > Monster Hunter
* Rawdog crew * Creampie crew * Poverty crew *
Haven't worn a condom since middle school crew
* HTC crew *
08-23-2024, 12:09 AM
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#16
- WhirlwindTobias
- Man Against Mediocrity
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- WhirlwindTobias
- Man Against Mediocrity
- Join Date: Jun 2012
- Location: Malopolskie, Poland
- Age: 39
- Posts: 14,541
- Rep Power: 101152
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Yesterday I went to a climbing centre and had a few objectives in mind:
1. Practice knots and belay action
2. Get feedback on knots and belay action from strangers
3. Belay and climb with strangers
4. Get at least one phone number/FB contact
In the end I got talking to one girl while bouldering, who has a boyfriend but we exchanged details and all three of us will hang out in the future. Her BF is really supportive and not the jealous type.
I also ended up talking to a group of 5, got their details and we climbed together on the top ropes.
So I achieved all my goals. I'm going there again today, but will focus mostly on solo stuff, another friend wil join me in the evening and I should get more belay practice in.
1. Practice knots and belay action
2. Get feedback on knots and belay action from strangers
3. Belay and climb with strangers
4. Get at least one phone number/FB contact
In the end I got talking to one girl while bouldering, who has a boyfriend but we exchanged details and all three of us will hang out in the future. Her BF is really supportive and not the jealous type.
I also ended up talking to a group of 5, got their details and we climbed together on the top ropes.
So I achieved all my goals. I'm going there again today, but will focus mostly on solo stuff, another friend wil join me in the evening and I should get more belay practice in.
Into- Mountaineering, running & Djent/Progressive music.
Anti- Lack of accountability. Censorship, fat acceptance, & current wave feminism. That's why I left the UK.
PRs: Highest mt. - 2962m (Zugspitze), Longest day hike - 70km.
08-23-2024, 12:27 AM
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#17
- ZergHydralisk
- Banned
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- ZergHydralisk
- Banned
- Join Date: Aug 2024
- Age: 56
- Posts: 267
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self developing and doing geeky hobbies at 37.....
tours over son
tours over son
08-23-2024, 01:58 AM
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#18
- WhirlwindTobias
- Man Against Mediocrity
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- WhirlwindTobias
- Man Against Mediocrity
- Join Date: Jun 2012
- Location: Malopolskie, Poland
- Age: 39
- Posts: 14,541
- Rep Power: 101152
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Originally Posted By ZergHydralisk⏩
If trolling is your hobby you have a long way to go to be any good at it sonny.self developing and doing geeky hobbies at 37.....
tours over son
tours over son
Into- Mountaineering, running & Djent/Progressive music.
Anti- Lack of accountability. Censorship, fat acceptance, & current wave feminism. That's why I left the UK.
PRs: Highest mt. - 2962m (Zugspitze), Longest day hike - 70km.
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