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Exactly 1 year from now is my first day in IB - Aware me on a few things pls Misc!
09-07-2017, 03:13 PM
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#31
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Originally Posted By WelshAutist⏩
StructuringCongrats, what role?
Thanks for answer the Qs. Any reasons why?
Thanks for answer the Qs. Any reasons why?
If you are junior and show up with expensive stuff which everybody knows you have no money for you will obviously get mocked
You will be the weird guy in an instant if you don't join and it will seem like you don't fit in the culture. probably also a likely reason why you didn't get an offer after your internship.
09-07-2017, 03:13 PM
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#32
someone explain to me why you would want this lifestyle? you are being cucked by a company that does not give a **** about you, stealing money from retards so you can have a tiny fraction of the wealth your bosses appropriate. meanwhile you dreams rot away. the ultimate cuck.
09-07-2017, 03:15 PM
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#33
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Originally Posted By EmmaW4tson⏩
Thanks for the advice. I know how to deal with professionals in a formal setting. In fact I am sure I am better than most at that.I'm not going to call fraud, you're just stupid.
Stupid as in - you have no class or very little of it, you throw your dick around on internet forums after asking for help from people who are either less well off, better off or on the same level as you.
If your dad is in property then that should have rubbed off on you a bit no? He deals with professionals, tradies, the lenders and other people all out for money and none of this taught you anything about how to hold yourself in front of others and fellow professionals?
I've never worked in IB but I know the types and you'll fit right in as some guy who seeks to impress but has to rely on others to look good. Your priorities as of now are all looks, no substance. If you truly are an autist and you look like American Psycho, guess what, you'll come off as Nick Bateman. I'd say work on your inner self and learn how to interact with people at different levels in life before worrying what some gold digging office whore and your fellow bros will see walking through the door and the parking lot.
PS: if you're going to work in London I suggest not walking around like you're major money. Those moped gangs will target you 100%.
Stupid as in - you have no class or very little of it, you throw your dick around on internet forums after asking for help from people who are either less well off, better off or on the same level as you.
If your dad is in property then that should have rubbed off on you a bit no? He deals with professionals, tradies, the lenders and other people all out for money and none of this taught you anything about how to hold yourself in front of others and fellow professionals?
I've never worked in IB but I know the types and you'll fit right in as some guy who seeks to impress but has to rely on others to look good. Your priorities as of now are all looks, no substance. If you truly are an autist and you look like American Psycho, guess what, you'll come off as Nick Bateman. I'd say work on your inner self and learn how to interact with people at different levels in life before worrying what some gold digging office whore and your fellow bros will see walking through the door and the parking lot.
PS: if you're going to work in London I suggest not walking around like you're major money. Those moped gangs will target you 100%.
It's the social settings that I struggle with. How to talk, what to talk about, why am I sitting in a corner drinking water and not chatting to girls in a bar, why do I take my own packed lunch instead of eating out every day?
Also, since you know London, what would you recommend that I do out of the two options:
1) Live with dad in his house in St Johns Wood and commute to Canary Wharf and save 80% of post-tax salary (similar to now but live with mum)
2) Buy a place in Canary Wharf using my cash as a large deposit, rent out 1 room (let's say I get a 2-bed apartment for 400K putting down 50K upfront) and use the rent to pay off large chunk of mortgage?
3) Rent a rotter pad, become a social alpha Chad, have the brahs around every weekend, make it a social hub, get the big TV, sound system, and become a somebody in the IB junior analyst community?
09-07-2017, 03:15 PM
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#34
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Originally Posted By 5431⏩
lol how many rejections did you get?someone explain to me why you would want this lifestyle? you are being cucked by a company that does not give a **** about you, stealing money from retards so you can have a tiny fraction of the wealth your bosses appropriate. meanwhile you dreams rot away. the ultimate cuck.
09-07-2017, 03:17 PM
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#35
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Originally Posted By 5431⏩
My reason for taking my own brown rice, chicken and broc in a lunchbox and driving a 2012 car and living at home would be lack of job security.someone explain to me why you would want this lifestyle? you are being cucked by a company that does not give a **** about you, stealing money from retards so you can have a tiny fraction of the wealth your bosses appropriate. meanwhile you dreams rot away. the ultimate cuck.
You could last 10 weeks in IB, you could last 10 years. The bottom 10% of performers get fired every year, and you sign a contract saying you can get let go of with 1-day notice and no reason needed for your termination.
09-07-2017, 03:18 PM
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#36
09-07-2017, 03:20 PM
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#37
Originally Posted By WelshAutist⏩
no, I mean the reason you want to do IB. nothing is more shallow. the world is undoubtedly missing out on a lot of good things because smart people decided to go into banking instead of doing something useful with their mind.My reason for taking my own brown rice, chicken and broc in a lunchbox and driving a 2012 car and living at home would be lack of job security.
You could last 10 weeks in IB, you could last 10 years. The bottom 10% of performers get fired every year, and you sign a contract saying you can get let go of with 1-day notice and no reason needed for your termination.
You could last 10 weeks in IB, you could last 10 years. The bottom 10% of performers get fired every year, and you sign a contract saying you can get let go of with 1-day notice and no reason needed for your termination.
09-07-2017, 03:21 PM
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#38
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Originally Posted By WelshAutist⏩
Canary Wharf is boring and dead as fuk at the weekends, you wouldn't want to live there. St Johns Wood is full of middle class liberal kunts and pretty dead too but so close to the west end it wouldn't really matter... Clapham would be your best bet for a chad pad, get one overlooking the common and cash in on the endless HBB's around thereThanks for the advice. I know how to deal with professionals in a formal setting. In fact I am sure I am better than most at that.
It's the social settings that I struggle with. How to talk, what to talk about, why am I sitting in a corner drinking water and not chatting to girls in a bar, why do I take my own packed lunch instead of eating out every day?
Also, since you know London, what would you recommend that I do out of the two options:
1) Live with dad in his house in St Johns Wood and commute to Canary Wharf and save 80% of post-tax salary (similar to now but live with mum)
2) Buy a place in Canary Wharf using my cash as a large deposit, rent out 1 room (let's say I get a 2-bed apartment for 400K putting down 50K upfront) and use the rent to pay off large chunk of mortgage?
3) Rent a rotter pad, become a social alpha Chad, have the brahs around every weekend, make it a social hub, get the big TV, sound system, and become a somebody in the IB junior analyst community?
It's the social settings that I struggle with. How to talk, what to talk about, why am I sitting in a corner drinking water and not chatting to girls in a bar, why do I take my own packed lunch instead of eating out every day?
Also, since you know London, what would you recommend that I do out of the two options:
1) Live with dad in his house in St Johns Wood and commute to Canary Wharf and save 80% of post-tax salary (similar to now but live with mum)
2) Buy a place in Canary Wharf using my cash as a large deposit, rent out 1 room (let's say I get a 2-bed apartment for 400K putting down 50K upfront) and use the rent to pay off large chunk of mortgage?
3) Rent a rotter pad, become a social alpha Chad, have the brahs around every weekend, make it a social hub, get the big TV, sound system, and become a somebody in the IB junior analyst community?
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09-07-2017, 03:21 PM
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#39
Originally Posted By 5431⏩
Nothing more cuck than someone making good money at a company and spends it all on toys to try and impress people and never saving a penny. Completely at the mercy of the company at that point. Prolly would suck a dink to keep up with their BMW paymentssomeone explain to me why you would want this lifestyle? you are being cucked by a company that does not give a **** about you, stealing money from retards so you can have a tiny fraction of the wealth your bosses appropriate. meanwhile you dreams rot away. the ultimate cuck.
09-07-2017, 03:25 PM
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#40
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Originally Posted By theoxinthebox⏩
What is the commute from Canary Wharf to Clapham like? And vice versa at 6-7am in the morning and 6-7pm at night?Canary Wharf is boring and dead as fuk at the weekends, you wouldn't want to live there. St Johns Wood is full of middle class liberal kunts and pretty dead too but so close to the west end it wouldn't really matter... Clapham would be your best bet for a chad pad, get one overlooking the common and cash in on the endless HBB's around there
Also, realistically can I go from FA to alpha social Chad? If not, I don't want to be burning tonnes of money in trying when I could just get myself a 5 min commute, and get a housemate to pay off my mortgage while I build myself a nice portfolio to sell/rent and retire into lower-stress business where someone else runs it, I fund it and I can then travel/write/fish/live the American dream
09-07-2017, 03:31 PM
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#41
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Originally Posted By WelshAutist⏩
Awaiting spoon pics of texas hold 'em for a career in IBGoing to post this again once, but after that, i'm negging every single salty jelly hater on the misc who calls fraud. I've posted spoon pics for every single thing that i've ever claimed.
Originally Posted By WelshAutist⏩
Pretend to be Harvey Specter my boi. That's it.It's the social settings that I struggle with. How to talk, what to talk about, why am I sitting in a corner drinking water and not chatting to girls in a bar, why do I take my own packed lunch instead of eating out every day?
Can't discipline the Miscipline
09-07-2017, 03:35 PM
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#42
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OP, Im sure your dad is a great guy; but when you start bragging about his sucess over an Internet forum, it makes you look pathetic.
09-07-2017, 03:38 PM
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#43
Originally Posted By nn586⏩
exactly. isn't that the IB lifestyle?Nothing more cuck than someone making good money at a company and spends it all on toys to try and impress people and never saving a penny. Completely at the mercy of the company at that point. Prolly would suck a dink to keep up with their BMW payments
09-07-2017, 03:47 PM
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#44
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Originally Posted By Issobolic28⏩
Not a single one of my posts was a brag post. The story of the SL63 AMG callouts started when I got invited to a house party (females mainly) and I asked the Misc on their opinion on taking my dad's car? Simple Q of would it be fun and a good 1-on-1 conversation chance to offer girls a ride but at the same time let them do the bulk of the talking, since I am doing the driving.OP, Im sure your dad is a great guy; but when you start bragging about his sucess over an Internet forum, it makes you look pathetic.
Most people responded with replies like mirin' ingenuinity and it's an aesthetic car so girls would love to see you accelerate in it, it may work if you have really don't have social skills, etc.
But quite a few guys were posting BS, your dad doesn't have that car, lol @ Miscer's parents driving $150,000+ AMG Mercedes', etc.
So simply to shut them up once and for all, I posted spoon pics...
09-07-2017, 03:53 PM
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#45
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Originally Posted By WelshAutist⏩
Let me ask you a question; that hopes to give perspective:Not a single one of my posts was a brag post. The story of the SL63 AMG callouts started when I got invited to a house party (females mainly) and I asked the Misc on their opinion on taking my dad's car? Simple Q of would it be fun and a good 1-on-1 conversation chance to offer girls a ride but at the same time let them do the bulk of the talking, since I am doing the driving.
Most people responded with replies like mirin' ingenuinity and it's an aesthetic car so girls would love to see you accelerate in it, it may work if you have really don't have social skills, etc.
But quite a few guys were posting BS, your dad doesn't have that car, lol @ Miscer's parents driving $150,000+ AMG Mercedes', etc.
So simply to shut them up once and for all, I posted spoon pics...
Most people responded with replies like mirin' ingenuinity and it's an aesthetic car so girls would love to see you accelerate in it, it may work if you have really don't have social skills, etc.
But quite a few guys were posting BS, your dad doesn't have that car, lol @ Miscer's parents driving $150,000+ AMG Mercedes', etc.
So simply to shut them up once and for all, I posted spoon pics...
Does it really matter what a bunch of guys who sit alone at computers all over the world really think of you? Youre trying waaay to hard seek this approval.
09-07-2017, 03:54 PM
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#46
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Originally Posted By Issobolic28⏩
If I cared, I would have claimed it's mine. I told them honestly that it's my dads.Let me ask you a question; that hopes to give perspective:
Does it really matter what a bunch of guys who sit alone at computers all over the world really think of you? Youre trying waaay to hard seek this approval.
Does it really matter what a bunch of guys who sit alone at computers all over the world really think of you? Youre trying waaay to hard seek this approval.
I don't understand why the Misc doubt a man in his 60s who's worked in London all his life can afford an SL63 AMG...
09-07-2017, 03:57 PM
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#47
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Originally Posted By WelshAutist⏩
Looks like you do....its like youre trying hard to get validation.If I caredI would have claimed it's mine. I told them honestly that it's my dads.
I don't understand why the Misc doubt a man in his 60s who's worked in London all his life can afford an SL63 AMG.
I don't understand why the Misc doubt a man in his 60s who's worked in London all his life can afford an SL63 AMG.
09-07-2017, 03:58 PM
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#48
09-07-2017, 04:01 PM
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#49
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Originally Posted By WelshAutist⏩
I've barely read this forum over the last 4 years yet always seem to run into your posts. Here's some legit advice:September 7th 2018, OP will officially be a Year 1 (Equity Capital Markets) Analyst at a London Investment Bank.
There's a one day welcome/induction event on Friday 7th, and then weekend to recover, and role formally begins on Monday 10th September 2018. Induction event will be hotel overnight stay, all you can eat food, all you can drink cocktails/champagne, presentations, talks from board members, privately-hired cars to drive us new intakes to different venues for competitions, introductions, site-visits, meeting clients, etc, and a huge networking fest where the company are forking out in excess of 50K just for that one big congratulations you made it day.
So I have a few questions about going into the IB world in general:
1) Do I need to wear $2,000 suits? An Omega watch? Designer shoes? Silk ties with gold clips/cufflinks? Etc
2) Do I need to buy lunch out with everyone else, or can I take my own healthy macros food?
3) Do I need to buy a brand new 2018 Mercedes/BMW because everyone else will have one?
4) Do I have to go drinking every night after work where people talk about markets/blow off steam?
What are best ways to fit in if you come from an FA, simple background where you wear $200 suits (including shirt, tie, shoes), take your mum's packed lunch from home, drive a 2012 car with 60K on the clock, and don't really drink? Do you really need to do all of those things to fit in? Do managers really judge what clothes you wear, and base promotions on your lifestyle?
My dad has worked in London for many years (though as a real estate & yacht broker) and he basically said I don't have to do any of those things. The people who do are the people who make high salaries but don't save a penny. Rent a penthouse suite, finance a brand new fully equipped 3-Series, wear tailored suits from fancy outlets, and spend the rest of their money on toys, watches, socialising, and basically keeping up with the latest purchase that their neighbour bought (bigger TV, larger fridge, more MP camera, higher spec iPhone, more horsepower car, higher priced watch, etc).
His advice was to make friends with the less-outgoing back office Software/IT/Tech guys who just wear normal clothes, drive old cars, drink only on special occasions and socialise with hobbies like going for hikes, playing games, watching a movie in the cinema, going for a group milkshake/dessert instead of going to expensive cocktail bars, watching live sports, going on track days like the big spenders.
He said that all of the IT guys despite making about half of what the IB guys make have a mortgage on their house, they spend their bonus on family and a memorable rather than drinking vacation/all-inclusive cruise, and their friends are real and happy for each other not superficial and just to try 1 up on each other, all in attempt to try and capture the manager or MD's attention.
He said that ECM will be about 70% back office, and 30% client-facing. So it doesn't matter if you wear a Walmart shirt when you are sitting at your desk doing your work. Just make sure WHEN you present, you dress up somewhat smartly and it's more important to arrive punctually than arrive in a 2017 BMW. Though he did say it was a good idea to wear the best suit/watch/etc for the first induction day as that's one of the rare opportunities that I will be interacting with MDs, senior management at clients, and even Board members at Year 1 Analyst level!
What is your advice Misc? Will honestly rep all good advice
There's a one day welcome/induction event on Friday 7th, and then weekend to recover, and role formally begins on Monday 10th September 2018. Induction event will be hotel overnight stay, all you can eat food, all you can drink cocktails/champagne, presentations, talks from board members, privately-hired cars to drive us new intakes to different venues for competitions, introductions, site-visits, meeting clients, etc, and a huge networking fest where the company are forking out in excess of 50K just for that one big congratulations you made it day.
So I have a few questions about going into the IB world in general:
1) Do I need to wear $2,000 suits? An Omega watch? Designer shoes? Silk ties with gold clips/cufflinks? Etc
2) Do I need to buy lunch out with everyone else, or can I take my own healthy macros food?
3) Do I need to buy a brand new 2018 Mercedes/BMW because everyone else will have one?
4) Do I have to go drinking every night after work where people talk about markets/blow off steam?
What are best ways to fit in if you come from an FA, simple background where you wear $200 suits (including shirt, tie, shoes), take your mum's packed lunch from home, drive a 2012 car with 60K on the clock, and don't really drink? Do you really need to do all of those things to fit in? Do managers really judge what clothes you wear, and base promotions on your lifestyle?
My dad has worked in London for many years (though as a real estate & yacht broker) and he basically said I don't have to do any of those things. The people who do are the people who make high salaries but don't save a penny. Rent a penthouse suite, finance a brand new fully equipped 3-Series, wear tailored suits from fancy outlets, and spend the rest of their money on toys, watches, socialising, and basically keeping up with the latest purchase that their neighbour bought (bigger TV, larger fridge, more MP camera, higher spec iPhone, more horsepower car, higher priced watch, etc).
His advice was to make friends with the less-outgoing back office Software/IT/Tech guys who just wear normal clothes, drive old cars, drink only on special occasions and socialise with hobbies like going for hikes, playing games, watching a movie in the cinema, going for a group milkshake/dessert instead of going to expensive cocktail bars, watching live sports, going on track days like the big spenders.
He said that all of the IT guys despite making about half of what the IB guys make have a mortgage on their house, they spend their bonus on family and a memorable rather than drinking vacation/all-inclusive cruise, and their friends are real and happy for each other not superficial and just to try 1 up on each other, all in attempt to try and capture the manager or MD's attention.
He said that ECM will be about 70% back office, and 30% client-facing. So it doesn't matter if you wear a Walmart shirt when you are sitting at your desk doing your work. Just make sure WHEN you present, you dress up somewhat smartly and it's more important to arrive punctually than arrive in a 2017 BMW. Though he did say it was a good idea to wear the best suit/watch/etc for the first induction day as that's one of the rare opportunities that I will be interacting with MDs, senior management at clients, and even Board members at Year 1 Analyst level!
What is your advice Misc? Will honestly rep all good advice

1) Do I need to wear $2,000 suits? An Omega watch? Designer shoes? Silk ties with gold clips/cufflinks? Etc
No you will look like ostentatious 1st year analyst, your MD will think you're a ****. Navy Suit from TM/Charles T/Suit Supply, shoes from Charles T / Churches / Loakes/ Meemin. TM Lewin 3 for £100 ties are fine. Don't wear a Hermes in the first month unless you want to look like a real tool.
You won't be wearing a tie apart from for client things which will be nearly non existent first year. Cuff links are fine, get the wool looking ones or just plain metal. White / Blue shirts only please.
2) Do I need to buy lunch out with everyone else, or can I take my own healthy macros food?
At the start yes, unless you don't plan on making friends. Gauge the vibe.
3) Do I need to buy a brand new 2018 Mercedes/BMW because everyone else will have one?
This question shows me you know absolutely nothing about banking/finance.
4) Do I have to go drinking every night after work where people talk about markets/blow off steam?
So does this. Drinks happen on Thurs/Fridays.
By the way your whole posts reads aspergers as ****, for your own sake please try and learn some self awareness in the next year before starting. Your posting on a bodybuilding forum about your dads car and your whole post screams subtle brag, something someone with real ego issues would do and of someone who has read WSO and takes everything there for fact. Here's the real talk everyone in ECM will be sucking dick to get an IB role. ECM/DCM kind of sucks imo.
Stats: 2x summers at a French bank and then a BB. I went buy side after uni, now work at a multi-asset fund. No suits, 9-7 and make very similar to my friends still doing the whole sell side banking thing. (no brag)
09-07-2017, 04:06 PM
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#50
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09-07-2017, 04:12 PM
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#51
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Originally Posted By LDNMuscle⏩
If you've run into his posts before then why are you acting like this is real and giving a serious response?I've barely read this forum over the last 4 years yet always seem to run into your posts. Here's some legit advice:
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