What are you hoping to accomplish with this post?

Stop making vague posts that allude to an incoming suicide. These posts are attention-seeking and serve no purpose besides worrying others on here (and this is coming from someone who works in mental health and takes care of people who have far worse lives than you do). Not trying to minimize your pain, but quit it. The mods and posters ITT offering their help aren’t going to realistically help you. You’ve shared your story to numerous people in your life and no resolution ever comes out of it. It’s time to get professional help because you always end up back where you began.

If you feel that you are going to hurt yourself or someone else, you need to check yourself into a psychiatric/behavioral health center. They will stabilize you and set you up with outpatient services upon your improvement and discharge.

If you feel you need help, contact your family medicine doctor and ask for a referral for counseling or google “therapists/counselors in my area” and call them. Alternatively, you can go to the ER because many practices are closed right now. They will see you, set you up with a social worker, and give you the appropriate resources.

And stop whatever drugs/alcohol you’re using because it’s not helping you. You are no longer okay and you need professional help.

Edit: @jamalfudge, feel free to PM me if you have a problem with this post instead of hiding in my userCP. I have far more experience than you in the field of mental health and would love to discuss any of your questions with you.

OP please check in.

Is it possible to tell if he's been online since?

The circle next to his name is green, so he's on right now.

Please don’t do this, bro.

You will cause unbelievable pain to those around you. Fight for them and yourself.

Life is a Rollercoaster OP nobodys life is perfect , but that's what makes it fun... NO pain NO gains!

OP I been there man. Find something to keep you going, even a stupid little thing.