ITT we confess to crimes we've committed...
09-15-2020, 12:41 AM
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#31
- multiplemiggs
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- multiplemiggs
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When I was about 16 I was out driving around in the night with a rusted out chitbox car with no muffler, no license, no insurance, plowing down the election signs along the highway.
Started out with the small ones and then I started running over the bigger ones.
There was a massive liberal one that was about 10 miles up the road at a crossroads.
I decided to go up there.
It stood about 8 feet tall and had 2x4 that were framing it.
The car I was driving was a late 1960's chevy 4 door with a nice solid bumper.
I nailed that sign doing about 50. It broke off at ground level and flew right over the roof in pieces.
Every election time I still have the temptation to steer a bit towards the ditch and take a few out.
Started out with the small ones and then I started running over the bigger ones.
There was a massive liberal one that was about 10 miles up the road at a crossroads.
I decided to go up there.
It stood about 8 feet tall and had 2x4 that were framing it.
The car I was driving was a late 1960's chevy 4 door with a nice solid bumper.
I nailed that sign doing about 50. It broke off at ground level and flew right over the roof in pieces.
Every election time I still have the temptation to steer a bit towards the ditch and take a few out.
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09-15-2020, 12:46 AM
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#32
- x420SwagScopex
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- x420SwagScopex
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I’ve definitely made some illegal U-turns
Smack City crew
09-15-2020, 12:49 AM
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#33
- capowt
- cooked
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- capowt
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One time my neighbors son broke into my house and destroyed my fake teeth with his bike
I broke into his house, ****ed his mum and used his toothbrush in her butthole
Jizzed all over his room too. Little *******
I broke into his house, ****ed his mum and used his toothbrush in her butthole
Jizzed all over his room too. Little *******
09-15-2020, 12:52 AM
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#34
09-15-2020, 12:54 AM
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#35
- UnderwearBandit
- Underwear Banned It
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- UnderwearBandit
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<---- username
09-15-2020, 12:57 AM
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#36
Originally Posted By UnderwearBandit⏩
I had a threesome with my gf and her friend/co-worker.<---- username
Her friend was so fine I hid her panties in between the mattress and the sheet so I could keep them
.Inb4 LooksMaximus (I have a collection he would pay top $$ for
).
09-15-2020, 01:15 AM
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#37
09-15-2020, 01:20 AM
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#38
- FailedPotential
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- FailedPotential
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Originally Posted By atomicbbgum⏩
Momma used you to virtual signal to the peeps in the store bout how she teachin ya a lesson, even though you had no idea you did something wrong, and the negative effect(a child bawling their eyes out) vs what is a presume a rich store getting returned an item they wouldn't even realise they lost, is worse.I was like like maybe under 5yo, found some loose marbles on the floor of the grocery store, like 2-4, I didn't even think about it just grabbed them and put them in my pocket, Mom paid for groceries, we walking to the car and I'm playing with the marbles she asks me where I got them from I tell her I found them in the store floor, she tells me that you can't find things in the store and not pay for them, that I was a thief, she tells me all thieves go to jail for stealing and that they don't get to see their family again, I'm bawling my eyes out, she tells me I can avoid it by going back into the store, returning the items and ask for forgiveness from them and they might not call the cops, so she takes my terrified ass back in there to beg for forgiveness and return the loot. A good ole traumatizing lesson.
Gotta love when people do that, then when you point it out, it's "but i was actually teaching them a lesson and wanted to do good..." nah... ya were virtue signalling and it made you feel good to get recognised as someone who appears to be teachin their kid a lesson, the fact it may teach them a lesson was secondary, and even if that secondary aspect didn't exist... ya still woulda done it... ya kunt
Not callin ur Momma a kunt, but I kinda am.
Fak U say? Cheeky kent ya, i'll fakin fak ya, ya lil sloot
09-15-2020, 02:02 AM
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#39
- atomicbbgum
- omae wa mou shindeiru
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- atomicbbgum
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Originally Posted By FailedPotential⏩
meh, Im grateful for all the lesson that she taught me, I've never stolen anything and been a goody two shoes. Not teaching lessons to kids or being too soft on them is how we got this newer generations being entitled chits and thinking their chit don't stink.Momma used you to virtual signal to the peeps in the store bout how she teachin ya a lesson, even though you had no idea you did something wrong, and the negative effect(a child bawling their eyes out) vs what is a presume a rich store getting returned an item they wouldn't even realise they lost, is worse.
Gotta love when people do that, then when you point it out, it's "but i was actually teaching them a lesson and wanted to do good..." nah... ya were virtue signalling and it made you feel good to get recognised as someone who appears to be teachin their kid a lesson, the fact it may teach them a lesson was secondary, and even if that secondary aspect didn't exist... ya still woulda done it... ya kunt
Not callin ur Momma a kunt, but I kinda am.
Gotta love when people do that, then when you point it out, it's "but i was actually teaching them a lesson and wanted to do good..." nah... ya were virtue signalling and it made you feel good to get recognised as someone who appears to be teachin their kid a lesson, the fact it may teach them a lesson was secondary, and even if that secondary aspect didn't exist... ya still woulda done it... ya kunt
Not callin ur Momma a kunt, but I kinda am.
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09-15-2020, 02:10 AM
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#40
- Sinan09400
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- Sinan09400
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-Used to steal minor stuff from classmates in elementary. Tho everyone was doing it, had lots of my stuff stolen so I said fuk it.
-threw stone at a dudes face cuz he was a fukin bully. Guy still has the scar lol.
-Stole some candies from a store once
-ID checked some Syrian refugees while in military eventho I was not allowed to. Wanted them to feel they are NOT welcome
-not sure if it counts but I went to some illegal escorts (by illegal I mean those that are not taxed and regulated by the government)
-torrenting media. I refuse to pay a dime to these brainwashing merchants.
-traffic stuff. Illegal U turns etc. 90% of the time I dont wait for green lights as a pedestrian but then again it is not an offense here as long as you are a pedestrian
-threw stone at a dudes face cuz he was a fukin bully. Guy still has the scar lol.
-Stole some candies from a store once
-ID checked some Syrian refugees while in military eventho I was not allowed to. Wanted them to feel they are NOT welcome
-not sure if it counts but I went to some illegal escorts (by illegal I mean those that are not taxed and regulated by the government)
-torrenting media. I refuse to pay a dime to these brainwashing merchants.
-traffic stuff. Illegal U turns etc. 90% of the time I dont wait for green lights as a pedestrian but then again it is not an offense here as long as you are a pedestrian
09-15-2020, 02:19 AM
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#41
- atomicbbgum
- omae wa mou shindeiru
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- atomicbbgum
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Oh I also stabbed with a pencil a classmate on the hand cause he kept pulling my hair during class for weeks, and I had to get my hair cut cause he smothered gum all over my ponytail, so the next day after I had to get my hair cut I was pissed and he pulled my hair, I turned around and just stabbed him in the hand as hard as I could with my pencil, I didn't get in much trouble, he cried and got sent to the nurse station, I did have to get picked up early by my Grandma, they did try to expel me but my Grandma told them that they didn't do chit the whole time the boy picked on me or when I had to get my hair cut (the excuse they gave her was that the boy probably liked me) so I got off scotch free. They did move him across the classroom away from me. I was like 9-10yo.
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09-15-2020, 04:29 AM
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#42
- CBRIT89
- Ex-Skinny Cyclist
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- CBRIT89
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Originally Posted By HoustonMiscer⏩
Digital version of this when I was about 10.I stole my neighbor Chris' Charizard pokemon card. Fuk you Chris
I was on a school trip and a kid had blamed me for some of his monster goo stuff getting on the carpet of the hotel room.
We both had Pokemon on Gameboy Colour, so I linked them up whilst he wasn't in the room and swapped his Charizard for a Diglet or some ****ty low XP Pokemon. I denied all knowledge of it and got away scot free, just like he denied his goo on the floor.
It's 20 years on, and I still feel no remorse.
A.L.L. Leukemia 2009 - 2012
Brain haemorrhage 2009
Hip replacements 2010 & 2011
Eating Disorder 2016 - 2022
Collapsed Talus 2020 - (Surgery August '22)
09-15-2020, 04:36 AM
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#43
- BerserkGrom
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- BerserkGrom
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This happened just yesterday.
I was in the grocery store and saw a juicy melon. I wanted it but as money is loose, I also wanted to save some money as it was a Bio melon.
So i took the fruit, scaled it but labeled it as a regular melon.
I don't know if I ever can get over this.
I was in the grocery store and saw a juicy melon. I wanted it but as money is loose, I also wanted to save some money as it was a Bio melon.
So i took the fruit, scaled it but labeled it as a regular melon.
I don't know if I ever can get over this.
09-15-2020, 04:51 AM
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#44
- Cleveland33
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- Cleveland33
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back when I was working security at bars I also did security at some underground fights
09-15-2020, 05:10 AM
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#45
09-16-2020, 05:10 AM
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#46
- lightsarefallin
- Nukem
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- lightsarefallin
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As teenagers my friends and I watched too much CKY so we'd recreate some of the pranks - primarily the poop ones. We pooped a lot in public places: in sinks at the mall, on the floor, upperdeckers in gas station bathrooms, off buildings, you name it.
Bar brawl with drunken, enraged adults while underage. Cops got involved.
General stealing stuff from the Scholastic book fair as a kid. Erasers, Goosebumps books - I was good.
Various sexual acts with women that are illegal in some states
Drunk in public numerous times. Public urination (when you gotta go you gotta go)
Making fires in woods and camping in illegal spots
Fishing without a permit
Overall, it's technically not legal, but not that bad overall. I never committed real serious crimes.
Bar brawl with drunken, enraged adults while underage. Cops got involved.
General stealing stuff from the Scholastic book fair as a kid. Erasers, Goosebumps books - I was good.
Various sexual acts with women that are illegal in some states
Drunk in public numerous times. Public urination (when you gotta go you gotta go)
Making fires in woods and camping in illegal spots
Fishing without a permit
Overall, it's technically not legal, but not that bad overall. I never committed real serious crimes.
*Look at reflection in car window and flex every time crew*
*Use half the roll to wipe after a poo crew*
*Fart in the gym and blame rotten smell on faulty ventilation crew*
*Fart at home and blame it on the dog crew*
*Watch neutron-star density poop mock me as water flushes around it and it stays put crew*
*Drive 2 minutes in the summer and back of shirt gets completely wet crew*
*Coffee black as midnight on a moonless night crew*
*Fat shame my cat on a daily basis crew*
09-16-2020, 05:14 AM
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#47
- Aristotelian
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- Aristotelian
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Public indecency - repeatedly.
Not for a while now, though.
Not for a while now, though.
09-16-2020, 05:18 AM
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#48
- WoofieNugget
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Mugged a kid for his lunch money in Grade 5. I was a bully to three kids and now I regret it a lot because I got bullied badly in high school.
Back when phone sex lines was a thing I had a spare key to my great aunt's house who lived down the street, and when she was away during the summer I let myself in and used her phone to call a 1-900 line.
Stole the occasional buck or two from my parents.
When I worked for Ecars in my early 20's I drove drunk way too often. It was a terrible party culture company.
Had a bit of a panty fetish and kept pairs from a couple of exes that I stole.
Back when phone sex lines was a thing I had a spare key to my great aunt's house who lived down the street, and when she was away during the summer I let myself in and used her phone to call a 1-900 line.
Stole the occasional buck or two from my parents.
When I worked for Ecars in my early 20's I drove drunk way too often. It was a terrible party culture company.
Had a bit of a panty fetish and kept pairs from a couple of exes that I stole.
09-16-2020, 05:22 AM
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#49
- PenorBrahNoHomo
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- PenorBrahNoHomo
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When I was a student I used to steal my lunch from the university canteen all the time, was easy as fuk just picked up a couple of sandwiches and walked straight out. Shoplifting from the supermarket which had self-service checkouts and put them right by the door, it's like they were asking to get robbed. I'd just scan all the stuff, bag it up like normal and then leave without paying. The key is to act totally normal and not nervous and shifty.
Also drug possession, speeding obviously, nothing major.
Also drug possession, speeding obviously, nothing major.
09-16-2020, 05:35 AM
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#50
- 1slo5oh
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- 1slo5oh
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Yeah that's gonna be a no from me dog!! Im not into forever documenting incriminating evidence against myself. As far as the Misc and whoever reads this years from now is concerned...
I have never done anything illegal or morally wrong...except maybe one time I shot a 9 rope load in this broads hair from behind and told her it was just on her back... gave a couple pats with a paper towel and sent her on her way.
I have never done anything illegal or morally wrong...except maybe one time I shot a 9 rope load in this broads hair from behind and told her it was just on her back... gave a couple pats with a paper towel and sent her on her way.
6'2" @ 247lbs
09-16-2020, 06:29 AM
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#51
Break and entering of neighbor's duplex while drunk in college. they left the window open, just removed the screen and walked around inside for a while for the lulz. Didn't steal anything - but man they lived like pigs. there was one locked door in back that I'm pretty sure they were growing pot in. Statute of limitations has passed, LOL.
pointed a gun at some ******* kids taking a ding dong ditch prank into harassment territory. They got the message and scared the sh!t out of them, but there is a good chance that was illegal depending on how the state law was written (was on my property).
pointed a gun at some ******* kids taking a ding dong ditch prank into harassment territory. They got the message and scared the sh!t out of them, but there is a good chance that was illegal depending on how the state law was written (was on my property).
“The Misc. is a stone-faced Uncle Sam with Popeye’s forearms and a cocked pistol in each hand. It’s a screeching bald eagle with a foreign Bad Thing in its talons. It’s everything that defines America’s bro culture, magnified and weaponized. But it’s deeper than that.“
09-16-2020, 06:41 AM
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#52
09-16-2020, 08:46 AM
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#53
- bananastand11
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- bananastand11
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Originally Posted By HoustonMiscer⏩
lmao is this where karma started f*cking with you and turned your life into an utter embarrassment?I stole my neighbor Chris' Charizard pokemon card. Fuk you Chris
Amazing truly amazing hahahahaha.
Meanwhile Chris is living THE life over yours hahahaha. Holy sh*T jesus Chris won that encounter big time.
09-16-2020, 09:05 AM
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#54
- frutistafreeze
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- frutistafreeze
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When I was 9 we lived in a chitty apartment complex and I found a gameboy sitting on the sidewalk that someone clearly forgot and would be back for any second. I had a pretty good idea who it belonged to but I really wanted one and my parents were poor as chit since we had just arrived to the states a few months prior and that kid was a bit of a ******* so I kept that bish.
I just turned 30 this year and this still bothers me.
I just turned 30 this year and this still bothers me.
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