My fault but here it is.

I shat on someone’s bathroom at a party once. Was drunk and their bathroom light was burnt out. Couldn’t see, so I just shat on the floor with the door open. Logic when drunk not even once. Some dude slipped it in after and got blamed for it. He was too drunk to know if he did it too or not lol.

Alright so the worst party is a tie between two for different reasons. One is a great memory, the other not so much.

1. This was a great memory. This 18 year old single mother Coworker kept begging us all to come party at her apartment. She was kinda cute in the face but totally gross. Huge sagging tits that were all nipple. Kinda chubby. I was early 20s in and out of college at the time. So she’s constantly begging us. And we all agree. It’s way too big for the 2 bedroom apartment she’s in, and we are absolutely insane. Tell me I can’t smoke inside, I light up anyways. We’re playing vodka pong in the living room with 16oz cups of vodka. This total moron we worked with said he could out drink us. Poor boy passed out cuddling another coworker (high functioning downs guy who got drunk and announced to the entire party he was gay). I end up raw dogging the party hosts cute friend who REFUSES any position other than missionary. I tell her if she doesn’t get on top I’m gonna go back downstairs and drink. She doesn’t believe me and so I did. About the time i get my jeans out 3 of my coworkers/friends come falling out of the closet dying laughing. They just take off running, falling over themselves. We go back to drinking partying and just abusing this poor girls house. She tried to smash everyone there and got turned down. She eventually passed out bare ass naked on her bed with the door wide open. Down syndrome guy wakes me up yelling “ I saw her boobies”

We get to work the next day and police come for the kid who swore he could drink us under the table. He gets taken in, apparently his truck was reported as fleeing the scene of an accident. We all vouch and say that’s impossible wtf. They pull prints and come up with a match to some guy named Keyshawn who was actually wanted for a breaking and entering charge among others. THIS MAN CAME INTO A PARTY OF 20-30 PEOPLE. Nobody noticed him. He went into homeboys pockets, took his truck keys and went joyriding. Hit a parked car, brought the truck back and dipped.

That night was one for the books

2. We had a friend in college we did like bi weekly parties at his house. We plan a rager. It’s great. Lots of 4 lokos original, weed, I bought myself a 6 pack to sip on after the lokos. Dudes gf comes home and is pissed off that her schedule at work changed and she has to work next morning. She shuts the whole thing down before it starts. Agrees to let like 4 of us stay. Me and homies brother start drinking and playing cod. Pass the bowl back and forth. I move thru my 6 pack fairly quick. We’re bored af. Just talking chit in cod lobbies. Playing awful. I decide I’m gonna chug my 2 4 lokos back to back and keep playing. About 15 minutes later I wake up in the bathroom. My pants are soaked with piss. I’ve clearly been vomiting. Turns out 7 or 8 hours had passed. There were videos at one point of me in the fetal position clutching my stomach muttering to myself. 0/10 would not recommend

Strong name to story relevance.