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Forum » Dealing With Misery
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Thread: Dealing With Misery

post 1647512953 09-21-2021, 07:09 PM
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Originally Posted By lexbishop⏩
Here's a small explanation.

Headspace has you focus on stressful thoughts and then lets your mind wander.
It also has you focus on tension in your body and then has you focus on the rest of your body.

And all the while taking deep breaths which is known to relax. He guides you back and forth between stress and not-stress a few times per session.

Basically the idea is he's practicing a part of the mind that very few people ever use without training it. He's teaching you to go in and out of stressful thoughts in the calmest way possible, which trains your brain to not be so stressed out, even with the most stressful things.

Essentially he's making you exercise and strengthen your ability to relax, which if you do it right before bedtime, your whole next day is more relaxing.

Also, you can find the entire Headspace catalog for free on mp3 if you know where to look. He charges a lot so if your web searching is good don't pay the fortune he is asking.
Sounds like an interesting concept, the closest thing to meditation I get is listening to Alice In Chains and Nirvana before I go to bed to help relax after a hard day of work.
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post 1647512993 09-21-2021, 07:09 PM
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Ever thought about taking up fishing as a hobby?
post 1647513343 09-21-2021, 07:14 PM
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Originally Posted By MetroBrah⏩
Ever thought about taking up fishing as a hobby?
I have nobody to teach me or go with me. I won an expensive fishing rod and kit at a raffle at a powerlifting meet I was competing at when I was a kid, never used it. My Great Grandfather used to love to go fishing, but my Father never did that kind of things with me. I always wondered if I would have enjoyed fishing.
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post 1647513393 09-21-2021, 07:16 PM
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Originally Posted By lexbishop⏩
Catch up at 24? Lol dude you know there's 66 year Olds with no money.

Pace yourself and download the headspace app or drink some natural calm. Take a chill pill, you're young.Work on the short term, and keep focusing on the long term.

Baby steps.
this. 24 is young as fuk. don't do something that's only going to give you cash short term. invest in yourself. take an easier job and learn something on the side (school maybe). never too late to start over
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post 1647513713 09-21-2021, 07:21 PM
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How’s your relationship with your immediate family? You’re young and can quickly turn this around. If you have a supportive family, take advantage of it. Work part time, school part time until you graduate and on your feet.
post 1647514083 09-21-2021, 07:27 PM
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Originally Posted By sam212⏩
How’s your relationship with your immediate family? You’re young and can quickly turn this around. If you have a supportive family, take advantage of it. Work part time, school part time until you graduate and on your feet.
My family has been very little help to me, although I would say my relationship with them is fairly decent. I’m close with my mom and sister, not so much with my father. Also my maternal grandparents, while I have cut off contact with most of my fathers side of the family besides him and his brother.
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post 1647514403 09-21-2021, 07:33 PM
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Originally Posted By SicilianPower⏩
My family has been very little help to me, although I would say my relationship with them is fairly decent. I’m close with my mom and sister, not so much with my father. Also my maternal grandparents, while I have cut off contact with most of my fathers side of the family besides him and his brother.
You don’t have a lot of responsibilities right now, see if one of them will be kind enough to let you stay with them for a while while you stand on your own feet. Take advantage of it, work to support yourself but go to school to get some skills. It will serve you well or your situation will be very difficult to improve.
post 1647514623 09-21-2021, 07:37 PM
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Originally Posted By SicilianPower⏩
I have nobody to teach me or go with me. I won an expensive fishing rod and kit at a raffle at a powerlifting meet I was competing at when I was a kid, never used it. My Great Grandfather used to love to go fishing, but my Father never did that kind of things with me. I always wondered if I would have enjoyed fishing.
You'll love it bro. My step dad started me fishing around 5 years old, which was a blessing (my real dad never fished) and I've been hooked ever since. There is nothing else like being on the lake/in the woods alone just enjoying nature. Tying the knots, baiting the hooks, attempting to make the perfect cast. It's all a very meditative experience
post 1647514633 09-21-2021, 07:37 PM
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Holotropic Breathwork &/or psychedelics, you'll realize life is full of meaning

I'd be dead without these practices. They've helped me believe in God after being a Nihilist, find my "passion", begin to deal with my childhood trauma, experience things mundane like a kid again, and discover how disconnected I was from my emotions/body.
post 1647514813 09-21-2021, 07:41 PM
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Get an easier/better job. Starting a job at Coned or Pseg they train and pay you as you go just apply for any position with them. Or get a job at Amazon, UPS or FedEx. Basically get away from Landscaping and odd jobs.
post 1647514883 09-21-2021, 07:43 PM
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Originally Posted By sam212⏩
You don’t have a lot of responsibilities right now, see if one of them will be kind enough to let you stay with them for a while while you stand on your own feet. Take advantage of it, work to support yourself but go to school to get some skills. It will serve you well or your situation will be very difficult to improve.
I live with my parents in a suburb, trying to save up so I can get my own place and really “start my life”. I’m not going to school, I have low intelligence (in the sense that despite being knowledgeable in several topics I have low analytical intelligence and struggle with book smarts) and poor work ethic, I doubt would even be able to get through college or do the jobs that would be available to me if I did learn a trade or got a degree.
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post 1647514983 09-21-2021, 07:44 PM
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Originally Posted By DoragonKingu⏩
Get an easier/better job. Starting a job at Coned or Pseg they train and pay you as you go just apply for any position with them. Or get a job at Amazon, UPS or FedEx. Basically get away from Landscaping and odd jobs.
Yeah I can’t keep doing this hard labor, just too hard on the body, too strenuous, originally I got sunburnt till I got used to the sun exposure, the heat can cause headaches, I need to drink a ton of water, etc.
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post 1647515003 09-21-2021, 07:45 PM
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post 1647515123 09-21-2021, 07:47 PM
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Originally Posted By MetroBrah⏩
You'll love it bro. My step dad started me fishing around 5 years old, which was a blessing (my real dad never fished) and I've been hooked ever since. There is nothing else like being on the lake/in the woods alone just enjoying nature. Tying the knots, baiting the hooks, attempting to make the perfect cast. It's all a very meditative experience
I gotta try it sometime, maybe with a friend. Soon I’m planning on going hiking with a friend, hopefully I’ll enjoy that.
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post 1647515623 09-21-2021, 07:56 PM
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Originally Posted By SicilianPower⏩
I live with my parents in a suburb, trying to save up so I can get my own place and really “start my life”. I’m not going to school, I have low intelligence (in the sense that despite being knowledgeable in several topics I have low analytical intelligence and struggle with book smarts) and poor work ethic, I doubt would even be able to get through college or do the jobs that would be available to me if I did learn a trade or got a degree.
How do you see yourself "starting your life" if you can't even see yourself working jobs you would be qualified for if you DID train or go to school for them? Most of us don't love our jobs bro, but we all have to work in order to put food on the table. Like others have said, 24 is young as fuk. I didn't begin my career until I was 31.
post 1647516073 09-21-2021, 08:08 PM
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Originally Posted By SicilianPower⏩
I live with my parents in a suburb, trying to save up so I can get my own place and really “start my life”. I’m not going to school, I have low intelligence (in the sense that despite being knowledgeable in several topics I have low analytical intelligence and struggle with book smarts) and poor work ethic, I doubt would even be able to get through college or do the jobs that would be available to me if I did learn a trade or got a degree.
Serious question, what do you want out of life? Do you want to live a middle class life with relative comforts and perhaps own some property and have a family? Live somewhat comfortable? Or do you want to continue to be miserable? Where do you want to be in next 5 years? How about 10 years? And what path do you see to get there?
post 1647516303 09-21-2021, 08:12 PM
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Originally Posted By SicilianPower⏩
I live with my parents in a suburb, trying to save up so I can get my own place and really “start my life”. I’m not going to school,I have low intelligence (in the sense that despite being knowledgeable in several topics I have low analytical intelligence and struggle with book smarts) and poor work ethic, I doubt would even be able to get through college or do the jobs that would be available to me if I did learn a trade or got a degree.
Brah you're not low intelligence at all. You should get rid of those limiting beliefs about yourself. Based on your posts you're just as intelligent or more than the average officecel. I'd say you're easily as intelligent or more than the average miscer and a fair amount of them are officecels.

You could easily hold down an office job and probably go beyond that (managerial or whatever). You're putting that stuff on a pedestal. srs
post 1647516433 09-21-2021, 08:15 PM
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Originally Posted By poolshark472⏩
How do you see yourself "starting your life" if you can't even see yourself working jobs you would be qualified for if you DID train or go to school for them? Most of us don't love our jobs bro, but we all have to work in order to put food on the table. Like others have said, 24 is young as fuk. I didn't begin my career until I was 31.
I doubt I would be able to grasp how to do such work. Like one of the guys I do landscaping with is going to work for GM and he plans to be an electrician and start his own heating and cooling business. I don’t think I would even be capable of doing something like that.
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post 1647516543 09-21-2021, 08:17 PM
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Originally Posted By sam212⏩
Serious question, what do you want out of life? Do you want to live a middle class life with relative comforts and perhaps own some property and have a family? Live somewhat comfortable? Or do you want to continue to be miserable? Where do you want to be in next 5 years? How about 10 years? And what path do you see to get there?
I want to marry this girl I’m talking to and I want her to live with me in a decent house in a decent suburb. I’m fine with a middle class life. I think I want a couple of kids. I would be ok with renting an apartment temporarily if I had to.
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post 1647516693 09-21-2021, 08:21 PM
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Originally Posted By SicilianPower⏩
I live with my parents in a suburb, trying to save up so I can get my own place and really “start my life”. I’m not going to school, I have low intelligence (in the sense that despite being knowledgeable in several topics I have low analytical intelligence and struggle with book smarts) and poor work ethic, I doubt would even be able to get through college or do the jobs that would be available to me if I did learn a trade or got a degree.
What was it that made you a good boxer?

What was going on in your life the last time it felt like it had meaning, or felt like it was worth while? When was the last time you felt accomplished and proud of yourself?

On a scale of 1 to 10, how ready to change would you say you are?
The closer we approach the uncertainty of life's ending the more we wish to trade all of the things we have acquired in exchange for all of the things we have lost: wealth for youth, knowledge for fresh curiosity, resignation for hope. We'd trade our wisdom for new experiences, but it is wisdom that will teach us that at the end of the road the only new experience is death.
post 1647516703 09-21-2021, 08:21 PM
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Originally Posted By SicilianPower⏩
I want to marry this girl I’m talking to and I want her to live with me in a decent house in a decent suburb. I’m fine with a middle class life. I think I want a couple of kids. I would be ok with renting an apartment temporarily if I had to.
You're not gonna make it.
post 1647516723 09-21-2021, 08:21 PM
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Originally Posted By Sophus⏩
Brah you're not low intelligence at all. You should get rid of those limiting beliefs about yourself. Based on your posts you're just as intelligent or more than the average officecel. I'd say you're easily as intelligent or more than the average miscer and a fair amount of them are officecels.

You could easily hold down an office job and probably go beyond that (managerial or whatever). You're putting that stuff on a pedestal. srs
I have a certain type of intelligence, if I am talking about subjects I am interested in and know about you might think I’m a genius. But I have elementary level math knowledge for example. So I am constantly showing both brilliance and complete stupidity where as most people have a more balanced intelligence level where they might not stand out in too many areas but they aren’t borderline retarded in any.
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post 1647516743 09-21-2021, 08:22 PM
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Originally Posted By SicilianPower⏩
I doubt I would be able to grasp how to do such work. Like one of the guys I do landscaping with is going to work for GM and he plans to be an electrician and start his own heating and cooling business. I don’t think I would even be capable of doing something like that.
Why do you doubt yourself so much? If you put your mind towards something and work hard for it...you can have it. That's practically a law. Also, this girl - no girl - will stay with you if you can't provide.
post 1647516823 09-21-2021, 08:24 PM
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Originally Posted By SicilianPower⏩
I have a certain type of intelligence, if I am talking about subjects I am interested in and know about you might think I’m a genius. But I have elementary level math knowledge for example. So I am constantly showing both brilliance and complete stupidity where as most people have a more balanced intelligence level where they might not stand out in too many areas but they aren’t borderline retarded in any.
Focus on your strengths. if you suck at math but have high verbal intelligence, you can still become a lawyer or even doctor (if you have a good memory and srs interest for science). Just avoid number-crunching - obviously you'd probably want to avoid accounting or bookkeeper type roles

You could easily go to school though and get an office job. I've had a couple office jobs now, none of which require astronomical IQs to perform. Not even close srs
post 1647517053 09-21-2021, 08:29 PM
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Originally Posted By MyGhettoFantasy⏩
What was it that made you a good boxer?

What was going on in your life the last time it felt like it had meaning, or felt like it was worth while? When was the last time you felt accomplished and proud of yourself?

On a scale of 1 to 10, how ready to change would you say you are?
I had a natural ability as a boxer, boxing runs in my family. I found myself to be a fast learner, on top of being a student of the game. I had a passion for it. I loved testing myself against others in such a raw setting. My life has never felt like it had much meaning though, at any point. I’ve always dealt with motivational issues, depression, social anxiety, etc since I was about 17 years old. I have never been proud of myself before, even when I would win wrestling matches in school when I was a team captain or powerlifting competitions I never found pride or joy in winning. I just felt like I did my job, I did what I was supposed to do. But if it didn’t go my way I would feel extremely disappointed, to this day I still think about wrestling matches I lost in middle school and think about what I could have done differently.

On a scale of 1-10 I don’t know how ready I am to change. Because I don’t know what that change requires yet.
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post 1647517223 09-21-2021, 08:33 PM
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Originally Posted By poolshark472⏩
Why do you doubt yourself so much? If you put your mind towards something and work hard for it...you can have it. That's practically a law. Also, this girl - no girl - will stay with you if you can't provide.
I know and that adds to my stress level because I don’t want to lose this girl I’m with right now. She’s been very helpful and supportive, but I know even she will have her limits. I doubt myself because I was never equipped with the proper skills to grow up. When I was a kid and teenager I was a petty thief, hanging out with the wrong people, getting into all sorts of trouble. My father is law enforcement, he was always disappointed in me. He never taught me any skills, he was too busy working. Nobody taught me how to be an adult, in some ways I still feel like I'm 17 years old.
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post 1647517313 09-21-2021, 08:35 PM
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Originally Posted By Sophus⏩
Focus on your strengths. if you suck at math but have high verbal intelligence, you can still become a lawyer or even doctor (if you have a good memory and srs interest for science). Just avoid number-crunching - obviously you'd probably want to avoid accounting or bookkeeper type roles

You could easily go to school though and get an office job. I've had a couple office jobs now, none of which require astronomical IQs to perform. Not even close srs
You could be right, I will figure it out..it’s not like I have any other choice but to figure it out.
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post 1647517693 09-21-2021, 08:42 PM
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Originally Posted By SicilianPower⏩
I know and that adds to my stress level because I don’t want to lose this girl I’m with right now. She’s been very helpful and supportive, but I know even she will have her limits. I doubt myself because I was never equipped with the proper skills to grow up. When I was a kid and teenager I was a petty thief, hanging out with the wrong people, getting into all sorts of trouble. My father is law enforcement, he was always disappointed in me. He never taught me any skills, he was too busy working. Nobody taught me how to be an adult, in some ways I still feel like I'm 17 years old.
You do have the proper skills. You just have to apply yourself at whatever you decide to do, something you've proven yourself capable of doing by developing as an amateur boxer and in becoming knowledgeable of topics that have interested you.
post 1647517903 09-21-2021, 08:47 PM
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Originally Posted By SicilianPower⏩
I had a natural ability as a boxer, boxing runs in my family. I found myself to be a fast learner, on top of being a student of the game. I had a passion for it. I loved testing myself against others in such a raw setting. My life has never felt like it had much meaning though, at any point. I’ve always dealt with motivational issues, depression, social anxiety, etc since I was about 17 years old. I have never been proud of myself before, even when I would win wrestling matches in school when I was a team captain or powerlifting competitions I never found pride or joy in winning. I just felt like I did my job, I did what I was supposed to do. But if it didn’t go my way I would feel extremely disappointed, to this day I still think about wrestling matches I lost in middle school and think about what I could have done differently.

On a scale of 1-10 I don’t know how ready I am to change. Because I don’t know what that change requires yet.
So you feel crushing disappointment when you don't succeed at something, but you don't feel any pride when you accomplish something? That would be tough for anyone to deal with.

You have ambivalence about how strongly you desire to cjange, because you don't know what change to make, but something in you obviously wanyt to change.

Would it be fair to say you feel "driven" to change? What I mean by this is it true that forces are pushing you rather than some future oriented thing is luring you? I know you said you want a future with your current gf, but is that desire stronger then the memories of the past that seem to be haunting you, perhaps causing or contributing to your depression, stress, and anxiety?

What does your gf see in you? You said she jelps and it supportive. What is she helping and what is she supporting? What kind of feedback, verbal and nonverbal, does she give you?

Your relationship with her suggests to me that you have more going for yourself than you might be aware of or appreciate.
The closer we approach the uncertainty of life's ending the more we wish to trade all of the things we have acquired in exchange for all of the things we have lost: wealth for youth, knowledge for fresh curiosity, resignation for hope. We'd trade our wisdom for new experiences, but it is wisdom that will teach us that at the end of the road the only new experience is death.
post 1647517953 09-21-2021, 08:48 PM
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#60
  1. SicilianPower
  2. Registered Anti-Hero
  1. SicilianPower
  2. Registered Anti-Hero
  3. Join Date: Aug 2013
  4. Location: Bronx, New York, United States
  5. Posts: 9,395
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Originally Posted By poolshark472⏩
You do have the proper skills. You just have to apply yourself at whatever you decide to do, something you've proven yourself capable of doing by developing as an amateur boxer and in becoming knowledgeable of topics that have interested you.
I suppose so, I just have to make the right decisions. Part of why I started doing these landscaping jobs was because I thought I would be good at it because of my strength, and I figured since I have social anxiety this type of work you aren’t dealing with many people. But it’s been far more of a challenge than I anticipated.
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