I have bad anxiety and panic attacks. Also a super hypochondriac. How do I calm the fk down?

You know, there are a couple ways to answer this. First is that there could be a true imbalance of chemicals in you, and you may want to see a doc to explore some different medications to see if they help possibly.


Anecdotally, I think I've learned that some part of anxiety is a fear of rejection socially. Anxiety may be your bodies natural response to some fear that you're going to be rejected or outcasted with some group or just people in general. From an evolutionary standpoint, historically, people who were outcasted didn't survive or had a much harder time surviving. I used to have anxiety, I don't anymore. As I've grown older, I've become more confident in myself. My confidence has eliminated my anxiety, I rarely ever have it anymore. I still get nervous sometimes, sure, but that's different.


So a doctor may prescribe something, that may be the right answer. I may prescribe some effort into your career or professional life, which will lead to you having more confidence and may combat some of your anxiety. I may prescribe some extra effort on your social skills, meaning see people more often. Try to get used to it more. Last, therapy can help. Finding a good therapist could really help you reduce some of that.

How can I meet girls of a similar personality to me. Such as more introverted, sensical, relationship types (ie filtering out easy to meet college party sloots, tinder sloots, etc). I'm in school now and aside from banking on classes and clubs and hopefully as my friend groups expands, just not sure how to proactively or best meet these types of girls. Meeting is the main issue I have rather than approaching srs

Cheers

It's just a numbers game. You can try apps, if you do, I'd describe yourself and describe what you're looking for. They're out there, it just takes time. My advice for dating would be to continue to work on yourself. Women are often attracted to a guy who has potential, potential to earn enough to one day buy a home, maybe see their career advance, and be good socially. If you put effort in to advance your future career and your social circle, more girls will be drawn to you, even if you're the calmer type.


I also tend to think that as people age they become less introverted, I can explain why but I have to take a break lol. You become more comfortable with yourself, socializing takes less energy, etc.

Lmao @ your rep comment.

Yeah, you absolutely should if you need it. Costco is the best store I've ever know, seriously the amount of stuff you get there for the cost is unmatched. It's usually half the cost of a grocery store or online, and about twice the volume, making it 4x more valuable.

Same with many other products they have. I think they follow a rule where they only want 14% profit on items (or something) over production which keeps costs super low.

Hehe. Thanks for the response! Yeah Costco is solid. I haven't had a membership for a long time because they're out of the way. I've used their Kirkland brand shampoo/conditioner by having co-workers or my sister get it for me but I don't like having to depend on people or bug them when I'm running out so thinking I'll get my own membership so I can get it myself.

If it's far, I get it, but otherwise it seems smart, especially on the things you know you'll buy anyway. Paper plates, some food in bulk like beef, TP, vitamins, just.. pretty much anything they carry is very well priced.

Yep true. I have a membership at another warehouse type store that is closer, but Costco def has stuff I prefer like their shampoo and conditioner. I figure I can go stock up for a while and only have to go once every couple months.

I feel like I’m wasting my life being poor. Mid 20s, I still live paycheck to paycheck and I have no career ambitions whatsoever. All I do is work a soul sucking $35k/yr office job, lift 3x per week and sit around staring at screens. No college education. No desire to get one. Not a clue what I’d want to do for work. My family dynamic was broken and dysfunctional growing up with zero successful role models to speak of, so that could be an issue, but still I have no desire to achieve anything professional. I’d rather lay around, spend time with my gf or friends, eat good food, watch TV, surf the internet and also devote time to finding new hobbies that probably require money I don’t have.

Yet at the same time I feel I cannot waste my life (and more importantly my prime) being a poorcel unable to enjoy the finer things in life. I see those around me driving nice cars, buying property, investing, taking vacations. I can’t. But being honest with myself, I really don’t want to put in the work to get there either. How do I ignite that fire inside to become more than a rotter?

Doesn't solve anything, but you're definitely not alone. Very common fear and dread felt by people, including myself.

My parents are entering their twilight years, and it hurts to watch that and know what's inevitably coming.

Good luck and try to cherish your life and those you love as much as possible while you can. All of our stories come to an end, but a story with few regrets is best.

Well, I'm sorry man. For you, that's just your destiny. You're going to continue with an income that triggers stress for the next few decades, and you'll potentially work longer than friends, unable to retire. There's just no other way, it will be on your mind forever.



...unless... unless you choose to change that. Mid 20s, you're young. I'd try to tell you this, earning more is far more easy than you may have made it out to be in your head. You have to just learn a skill and market yourself. Make a LinkedIn, serious. Google how to make a good one, follow some examples, spend one hour making it look right and exaggerate your skills and achievements. Eventually through there, you'll get recruiters that recruit you for your title/skillset you talk about. When you do, lie about your income. Say you make $45k/year, and you love the idea of the company they're talking about, but in order to make the change you'd need to make at least 20% more than you make now, so they'd need to offer about $55k/year or more. Some will say no, one will say yes. Rinse and repeat in 2 years. Find a skill, without a skill (sales, management, XZY project manager, customer service manager, whatever it is) you won't go far without a skillset.

Then learn to invest. Make your own financial future, you'll be happy you did and you don't need a degree. In addition after your LinkedIn looks good, message 5 random people per week asking them for advice, what career path they recommend, make it personal. People LOVE to help and you'd be surprised, nobody asks. I'm successful, nobody ever asks for advice lol I have to go out of my way to offer it. You can still chill and play games but live more comfortably. It doesn't mean more hours. In fact, you'll work more hours in life with a lower income job than you will higher income jobs.

how do I make friends in a new city, when I'm working from home? No co-workers. I tried the gym out here but mostly people keep to themselves. How do I meet new people? I moved out here in ***** with my wife and kid. But literally, we just stay holed up in our house.

Wow, I really feel sorry about the situation you are in. I earnestly hope that your daughter and everyone else gets better.

I am getting better, but i am absolutely paralyzed by the fact that a fitter, cooler, and overall 'better' buck will impregnate my girlfriend/wife, and this has caused me to behave antisocially for years on end - even living out this fantasy and 'cucking' other guys to make my self feel 'superior' to the 'competition', which is really just for me to feel OK.

I also have deep rooted beliefs that life is a huge competition and that the most dominant male will get the prize at the end, which the most most sought after female.

I just can't stand somebody being better than me in the eyes of other people who i have an emotional connection with.

I might have NPD with other antisocial and dark tetrad traits.

Help me.

My PP too big

That's tough man. Do you know anyone there? If you know some people (colleagues, or just a few friends) network through them. Ask to hang out with them or introduce yourself to their friends. I think it's totally appropriate to say "I'm new to this city, looking for some friends to show my wife and I around!" there's nothing weird about that request and a lot of people would probably be happy to do so.

Outside of that, could there be organized get-togethers? Like a local pickup game of kickball or some random for-fun sport?

Saw you post in the other thread OP. You’ve indeed done well in your life. How old are you OP?

How do you keep grounded and remain the same person after being successful? Have you expanded your lifestyle after attaining success? If so, how much? Has it made you any happier than when you weren’t as successful? Are you striving to make more money? How much is enough?

Thanks brah, I appreciate you asking questions about me. I have to leave the house but I'll definitely come back here tomorrow or soon and answer this.

srs question:

how do you change your life in a positive direction (wealth, social, etc.). I realize that sometimes its about changing one thing (move locale or job) but oftentimes it seems like a dark cloud follows some people.

I kinda think people are like dogs and different breeds get treated differently for different reasons (mainly cuteness I suppose...like Chads get better lives).

I feel like my life is majoring in minor things and time just flies by doing the same things over and over.

I'll throw out a Srs question and try keeping it as concise as possible.

It's been an intense year. Father passed unexpectedly in January. In August, we relocated to Texas with me as the sole breadwinner. Last month, I opened the doors to my own office with two employees.

I'm having a really hard time keeping a good attitude. The amount of support I've gotten from friends/family/mentors has been way, way less than I expected through the ups and downs. A lot of the time, it feels like I have no fkkn idea what I'm doing, and I have nowhere to go with that.

Any safe advice given the situation?

Thanks brah

Alcohol

Hey brah. Just back here now with some time to answer this. Yeah I've been lucky so far, came from some hard times. I'm in my early 30s.

I think I'm the same person, I mean, I'm a lot happier and more confident now so it changed me in that sense. I'm more outgoing as a result, laugh louder, totally comfortable socializing, etc. That's either a result of ageing, new confidence with some success or both. I treat people as good as I can, love helping people and I'm about the least judgmental person around, and I've always been that way so in that sense yes I'm the same.

Yes, the success I've had has 100% made me happier for all sorts of reasons I'm happy to dive into if you want.

As far as striving for more money. Am I? Yes, absolutely, but my view on it has changed from when I was younger. I remember being so young and hungry, I used to say that if I even had the slightest chance of making $100,000/year, I'd work like 80 hour weeks to get there. I was so hungry for it. These days I don't work much and make triple that or more lol, but yes I'm always interested in making more. Truth is, I invest my money and I'd love to help people struggling one day. I'd love to have so much coming in from compound interest in 10-15 years that I can see a struggling person at a bus stop and buy them a $5k used car without impacting my budget, and I'd like to buy friends things, take care of family, etc. You need a lot to do that so I'm still chasing it, just not as hard.

Shoot man, I'm sorry to hear about your father. I just realized you're Catbrah, I see your name a lot around here. Support wise, I know what you mean. I feel like support is handled the same way people handle crowds. You know how there's this psychological thing where if you're laying on the ground on a street with 50 people around you, nobody will do anything? People assume that "somebody else has this" and all? I feel support happens the same way. People assume that somebody else is supporting you, and they may feel awkward bringing it up, like they may be hurting you by mentioning the hard things in your life. Especially with social media, they probably make the assumption others are helping you.

It's a weird dynamic, it's not that people don't want to help you necessarily, it's probably just awkward and I'm really sorry for that. We've got your back here.

As for your business, if you want, you can post some of your business dilemmas here, and I can try to give advice on what to do for the business. If you're not comfortable mentioning your business here, then you could look for local small business communities, people who network and share ideas. You could post on LinkedIn for advice, it may double as free marketing for your business. I hope this is somewhat helpful, but without more details it's hard to be more helpful.

Alcohol is much more serious to me than society makes it out to be. I mean, I will drink socially. I drink when I see friends but never alone. When people begin drinking alone for pleasure it's risky, and I've seen alcohol really break people down. I think it's worth your time to try to get a grip on it asap if you even felt the need to mention it here.

Try controlling yourself so you only drink socially and maybe have one/two drinks a week alone, max, and if that's a struggle I'd suggest attending some AA groups or talking to those people on how to control it. Don't brush it off brother, your life will be happier and better acknowledging the power that substance has and facing it head on.