Originally Posted By Critter5592⏩

Originally Posted By JUSA⏩

Originally Posted By AWSbruh⏩

Originally Posted By Critter5592⏩

Originally Posted By Ironface⏩

Originally Posted By legbroke⏩

Originally Posted By Kewbrah⏩

-Martial arts master, two black belts but refuses to say in what styles, since that would give his opponents a tactical advantage.

-Championship target shooter trained since he was 6 years old by his Green Beret father. Can score headshots at 1,000 yards.

-Became a mercenary assassin for the Central Intelligence Agency's Special Activities Division. He is fond of quoting their motto "Latebra Factum". Here is a MUST WATCH VIDEO where he talks about his CIA past (warning: you will go to prison for the rest of your ****ing life for committing espionage if you choose to watch it). He talked about training "At The Farm at Langley" (Langley, Virigina is where the headquarters of the CIA is located). He also talked about his background in stalking and killing a man while leaving behind no "alibi." He was trained in knife fighting in order to kill forward scouts and quietly assassinate people.

-Didn't have to pay Layne Norton any money when he lost the lawsuit in the United Kingdom, because the U.S. Embassy protected him. He implied that this was done as gratitude for his past service as an assassin, a privilege that they didn't even grant to Navy SEAL sniper Chris Kyle when he lost a defamation case. This means that Agent Blahino had more confirmed kills than Chris Kyle's 160. They wouldn't dare try to collect off him anyway since he has a level of training comparable to the British Special Air Service (SAS).
-Receives a special government pension with a sealed record for his past CIA work, which is why he doesn't have a job.

-Not only was he an assassin for the CIA, but he also revealed that he worked as a private military contractor. He was recruited by the Clinton administration during high school due to his target shooting skills. He was deployed to fight the drug cartels in Mexico and Central America and was only paid in firearms and training (at The Farm at Langley). He was also deployed to the Middle East, where he performed snatch and grabs and used advanced interrogation techniques on terrorists. He killed armed men, sniped a terrorist off a donkey when his squad mates were under fire, got PTSD as a result, and was terminated by his employer.

-Committed war crimes as a mercenary. Thankfully, he wasn't part of the military, so he was not in violation of international law!

-Left his team to do a solo job in the jungles of Central or South America. He was pursued on foot, chased by dogs, survived several engagements by himself, stole a truck, and was finally apprehended by the federal authorities of the country when he ran out of ammo. Thankfully, his mercenary squad broke him out of prison.

-Was a hitman. Looking to work as one again for the right price.

-Turned down an offer by the US army to be a commissioned officer despite never having attended West Point so he could sit at home and make $50 a day making YouTube videos instead.

-Could have become a medical doctor but chose not to. Again, $50 a day on YouTube is just so much better.

-Genius level 147 IQ (99.9th percentile of population). Scored a 1420 on the SAT (97th percentile of test takers). Double majored in Psychology and Nutritional Science at Texas A&M, achieved a perfect 4.0 GPA without ever studying.

-Worked as a male model. Rumour has it that this was one of his portfolio pictures (not srs).

-Former street racer. So that's what happened to Racer X!

-Is literally the greatest competitive eater who has ever lived. Won an eating contest in high school by eating 13 large Domino's pizzas in under two hours. This calculates into approximately 29 pounds of food/37,000 calories in one sitting.

-Expert musician. He has never demonstrated this skill on camera, but he assured us all that he took two years of honours jazz and played in heavy metal bands.

-Built hydrogen compressors. An incredible feat since he was in his early 20s and had never attended any engineering school of any kind.

-Got into a confrontation with a police officer; Blaha disarmed him and broke his ribs. Blaha was charged with illegal firearm possession when backup arrived and they found the cop's gun on Blaha.

-Ran his own steroid lab from 2000-2004 and ****ed a cheerleader for a bottle of Clenbuterol and a bottle of Winstrol. He also helped NCAA athletes pass drug tests, some of them later went on to the NFL.

-Was a shredded bodybuilder at 5% body fat. Unfortunately, all photographic evidence of this was burned up in a fire.

-Squatted 605 pounds and leg pressed 2,000 pounds for 20 reps. All evidence presumed lost in The Great Fire.
-Reverse grip bench pressed 500 pounds. This is a feat that is only achievable by elite world record holding powerlifters. When asked for proof of this, he says that he doesn't have any because the Internet wasn't that popular in the early 2000s.

-Has 18 inch arms. If you don't believe him, then he is under no obligation to provide proof, you obviously haven't seen him in person. He's huge IRL. He actually had 20 inch arms in his prime.

-Didn't go bald, full luscious head of hair, shaves his head by choice.

Originally Posted By TheAdlerian⏩

Originally Posted By samsbolton⏩

Originally Posted By mrvideotapes⏩