The two online dates I went on were both 30yo women, and when they both started talking on the first date about how their friends are having kids, and how cute those babies are, I kind of put it together. They really want kids, they're running out of time to have them, and a man off Hinge is just kind of an inconvenience needed to make it happen.

That's why they matched my dumb azz, lol. I was just a skinny white dude with "nano-scale electrical engineer" in his job description, that sounds like some betabux husband material who might commit in the next 6 months.

I don't want kids and couldn't afford them if I did. They were nice girls, but those dates were kind of a non-starter.

Low test

/Thread

what do you mean? can you give an example?

Do fish like fishing?

No but they are participants in it.

This is what getting married and settling down is like for a man. We are the fish who were blissfully swimming around until one day we bit the wrong bait and that was it. Now we are stuck in a fish tank somewhere with no clear easy way out.

As a 38 year old guy who could still easily get a relationship with younger girls, I honestly just don't care that much anymore. There was a time when being part of a relationship also put you into certain social circles and so outside of getting laid and having companionship, there were other benefits.

But nowadays? A relationship is mostly just sex and someone to occasionally do things with. Many of these other benefits of getting into a relationship are gone, while the overall expectatios of being a male in a relationship are basically still the same. So it's basically all of the negatives of a relationship with about 50% of the benefits as in the past.

It's no surprise at all that people aren't signing up for it.

You gotta learn to pump and dump these girls after telling them what they want to hear for a couple weeks.

If you struggle with dating, it’s because you’re not attractive.

If you can date just fine, then eventually someone who is a good fit should come along and you select them. Thus, if you struggle settling down it’s because you have some issue(s) pertaining to establishing a healthy and happy intimate relationship.

All other issues aside. I think a large portion of the problem with people that want a long term relationship/marriage. Is they build it on being disingenuous. Both parties put their best face on during the early stages of the relationship. And are not completely truthful about what they really want out of life and how they 'really' are. Then, when they get comfortable. Usually after they've had a kid or two, or are married a few years. They 'change'. But in reality, their true personality is just coming out. You can only hide your true self for so long.


I also think social media has skewed people's perceptions of healthy relationships/what's normal. People are always taking these idealic couples photos for social media. Trying to make their life/relationship seem perfect. Then when their relationship takes a dump everybody wonders why because they seemed so perfect together. It was all fake. But women genuinely think thats what relationships are now, because they stay in social media constantly.

**** is hard man

I know it's not popular in low-trust 21st century society, but I still believe in doing right by people.

To put it more clinically, I'm pretty high in agreeableness. Like 60th percentile.