Ya they all did. They didn't fall off though, we just stated intentional about visiting and hangouts online etc. I'm a God father to 2 of them, another asks me for advice like I'm an uncle. It's cool

Theres a balance. wisdom does come with time/age but the best scenario are people who mature quickly. Having kids later in life means you cant do the physically demanding things kids will need to grow (at least for boys). At 48, its brutal sparring on the mats daily but I do it because i know its good for them and i need to set an example.

Looking back 30-32 would have been the best time for me to have my boys. But you cant choose when you meet the right person so its what it is.

this

My dad is 21 years older than me and now that im in my mid 30s its awesome having him as a best friend. Could be 30 years older and be really similar but 40+ and he'd be too old to have done the things we have and will continue to do.

Let's keep it straight, ok most people, average person, most people don't do sh*t after 35+ or so.

Everyone melts into a blob. That's average.

Fitness guys like us, where training isn't a choice but it's a lifestyle, it will keep going.

Now, I don't intent to be boxing my heart out in sparring sessions and keeping up with a 20 year old son at 56 years old.

But I'm also not gonna be, well I should say rather that I do not intend to be, a worthless non-physical-ability having old man either

Maturity is good and all but let's also talk about life experience.

You go to highschool, get out of college, immediately go into fatherhood. You have those 3 dynamics to teach your kid, and hope he has a kid at 21 as well.

You don't know a lot about yourself as you go into fatherhood as a young father, already having to hang up your adventurous self and setting (not settling) into the role of a guide and protector.

I'll stop there because it sounds like I'm making a case that a 30+ 1st time father is better than the 20+ and I don't believe that, my intention here was to assure the understanding that a 30+ 1st time father is not worse than a 20+.

32 seems way too soon it’s coming right up seems like

just off the top of my head but shouldn't marriage be something that naturally (as it can) come about...not something that one puts a date on for it needing to happen by x age. it's like a woman approaching 35 and deciding she needs to find a man to marry and have kids with because she's getting old

Ok i am aligned but lets go a step further into the detail. I didnt put my kids in boxing....dont want them to have the head trauma and boxing takes into account athletism. I exposed them to a different live sparring combat sport in BJJ which i beleive instills the same mental fortitude while also having to solve way more complex problems.

They train 3 hours a day. For 1.5 hours of that, I am also training as they are in the kids and adults class daily. So yes, I am sparring at 48 with 22 year olds that all they do is train and aspire to be world champions. I need to set an example that even though I am outgunned in age and experience, I have the mental fortitude take get up and keep moving forward.

This thread is talking about "optimal" so that throws out the average "blob" that you are referring to. If I were early 40's i believe it wouldnt be as hard putting in the grind with my boys every day. At 48, I still make it work but it takes more effort (stretching, going to bed early, taking my vitamins, etc) to recover.

If you read my posts we are aligned then. I am talking about 30 vs 38. At 30 you can still do HS, college, then have years of real world experience. I had my first son at 38 and admittedly I feel it was a little late although I didnt meet my wife until 33 so that part I couldnt control.

You'll never be 15 and in love
lying on the grass on a warm summer night, watching the stars, carelessly chatting
not worrying about rent, bills, student loans
only worry in life is how you're gonna cheat on that history test on monday
you'll never take a young, tight, hot-bodied girls virginity, pulling out to dominate all over her back and have her look in your eyes and say "I love you"
you'll never have a girl around every day after school, pretend to be doing homework together, but instead just **** like rabbits
you're in your 20/30/40's now
gotta get a good job
gotta be a serious man now
all the good ones are taken
maybe a nice girl will eventually settle with you
they have already felt all those new exciting feelings before, and are usually jaded and bitter
you missed what it feels like to have not a care in the world other than making your girl happy
you have missed out on teenage love

True might be too soon for you. Was too soon for me as well. 32 is what I am saying based on my experience looking back would be ideal. Meaning career is set, few million liquid, met a woman you would raise a family with etc. Of course you can outline other scenarios like 24 and worth a few hundred millions but thats a little extreme. The sceanario I outlined while not the norm......is not completely outrageous.

I have 2 boys, a 14 year old and a 2 and a half year old. So I was 40 when the youngest came along. Again, it's all about the woman you're with. The mother of my oldest was a nightmare. My future wife and the mother of my 2 year old makes everything easier for us all, and i'm enjoying being a dad way more than when I did 14 years ago.

Choose wisely.

I got married at 36